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I write from a West Ham enclave in deepest darkest Australia.

If you think it was devastating for the die hard Hammer supporters to endure relegation and two subsequent years in the wilderness of the Championship, bear a thought for the non-UK devotees who were following it on local subscription television. The team might not have been playing against top class opposition, but at least you had the option of going to the matches!

In 2002/03 I was able to watch nearly half our matches ‘live’ and the highlights of the rest. In 2003/04 and 2004/05….nothing! Such is the lack of media coverage outside the EPL. I didn’t even know what the players looked like!

So, when we beat Preston at Cardiff last May, I was shivering in front of a computer screen listening to the BBC commentary on the internet in the early hours of a chilly autumn morning. Naturally, my joy was overwhelming and I decked my office workstation with claret and blue just to let everyone know about the result. As you can imagine, West Ham United FC are about as well known in Sydney as the Swans AFL team is in East London.

The 10 ½ week countdown to the new season has been excruciating and three of us wore our West Ham shirts last Friday to celebrate our promotion and to annoy a smug Fulham fan who was predicting our immediate relegation. A fourth supporter was interstate and didn’t want to bemuse any clients. A lot of our colleagues who had obviously missed the earlier preponderance of claret and blue asked why we were all wearing the same shirts! You really have to spoon feed some people. On the positive side though it brought to light one Arse*** supporter and another Sp*rs fan, so we can note that down for future retaliatory action.

I should say at this stage, the four of us are particularly grateful to KUMB, especially ESM and your other match reporters, for keeping us up to date with all the ‘colour’ at the club. We tend to refer to the players by the nicknames you give them and discuss at length the analyses we have been getting of tactics and styles. It certainly adds to the bland two paragraph BBC reports we get as an alternative.

The Blackburn match itself was telecast at midnight east coast time and I was assigned the task of taping the match on Foxsports One for the less fortunate who didn’t have Pay TV. I really was glued to the screen, finally getting my first glimpses of Marlon, Matty, Anton and 10K. I’d seen Football Genius before of course, playing for the Spuds and Man US, but I’d never seen one of NRC’s surging runs through the midfield. After a tentative start the lads gave all I’d expected and more besides. If we can keep Teddy wrapped in cotton wool and Yossi doesn’t get carried away by a strong wind, we may have the makings of a Premiership surviving side.

Just one criticism of ESM - we’re getting a bit tired of being called kangaroo shaggers down here! On the one hand, all of us are married and our wives don’t like the analogy (in fact I could say they are hopping mad, but I don’t want to encourage him any further). On the other hand, he should show a bit more respect to guys who can chase down and subdue a powerful marsupial. It sure beats those insipid kiwi sheep shaggers!

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