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Opinion

Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.


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The bitterest pillow
Wednesday, 30th August 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I am not a happy man. As a rule, the wife and I are normally easy going, or to be more truthful, she’s easy and I’m going. ..''


A Ferd in the hand is worth two on the box
Friday, 25th August 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''There is only one thing in life that’s more enjoyable than an evening with the wife and kids, and that’s an evening without the wife and kids. Whenever I’m lucky enough to be rid of the evil one and her two clones, I like to relax in front of the box with a couple of lagers watching quality television programming...''


KUMB match preview: 'Pool v West Ham Utd
Thursday, 24th August 2006
by Matthew Coker
''Now, I am going to try very hard not to use this preview as an excuse to go over old ground and to harp on about last year’s FA Cup Final. However, it is inevitable that a gap of just three months and three competitive games will mean that it is hard not to re-open old wounds...''


KUMB match preview: Watford v West Ham Utd
Monday, 21st August 2006
by Matthew Coker
''A little travel log from East London’s finest, on the way home from Villa Park in the late seventies which shows that not much has changed really:..''


A Drog with two ricks
Friday, 18th August 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Occasionally, a person can become so synonymous with a certain action that the English language will evolve as a result. For example, if the sight of anything Portuguese sends you into a psychotic rage, you’re ‘doing a Rooney’, if your alcoholic wife beats you up due to unresolved rage issues, she’s ‘knocked out a Gerry’, and if you pay six times over the correct market value for a mediocre footballer, you’ve ‘pulled a Fergie’. ..''


West Ham United v Charlton Athletic: match preview
Thursday, 17th August 2006
by Matthew Coker
''Following what seems like an eternity, we finally get back to some competitive football. ..''


Can we afford the cost of love?
Thursday, 17th August 2006
by Kit Robinson
''There is reportedly increasing incidences of attendances falling at Premier league football clubs, particularly with general sale tickets as opposed to Season tickets. So is fan loyalty faltering? ..''


Summer of fun
Friday, 11th August 2006
by Fionn Kiely
''So here we are, only one week away from the dawning of a new horizon, a new glimmer of hope. Over the coming season, we shall have our highs (European football to be found high on this list), and no doubt, as we are West Ham, we shall have our lows. While the players and even Alan Pardew will come in for praise at some stages and will be ridiculed at others, I for one have no doubt that once again, this will be a season to remember...''


2006/07 season preview
Thursday, 10th August 2006
by Ben Duggan
''For most football sceptics - sorry fans - the dawning of the new football season is similar to that of a new year. New hopes, new fears, new dreams and promises that are likely to be broken early on...''


A tie, with a Lam starter
Thursday, 10th August 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Sometimes in life you have to be willing to compromise. This morning for example, it was too chilly for a t-shirt, yet perplexingly, a little too warm for a jacket. ..''


The Thin Blue Swine
Thursday, 27th July 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I’m no stranger to police attention. I was once driving along with the wife when the boys in blue pulled me over. The copper asked me if I’d been drinking...''


There’s a bad moo on the rise
Thursday, 6th July 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''To be a successful bettor, you have to understand probability. If you toss a coin in the air there’s a 50% chance that it will come down on heads, throw a dice in the air and there’s a 16.6% chance that it will land on a 6, throw a cat in the air and there’s a 100% chance that it will be a right good laugh. ..''


Pie, have you forsaken me?
Wednesday, 28th June 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Pricing up a football match is a lot like baking a pie. Get all the ingredients right and you have a sweet smelling pastry that will attract interest from afar; get the ingredients wrong, and you’re left with a concoction so inedible, even Brazilian waddler Ronaldo would refuse to eat it all...''


An aggravated Ribery
Thursday, 15th June 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Everything changes. In my youth, I would only consider a good looking female as a potential mate. Nowadays, only the lack of a pulse would rule a ‘lucky’ lady out of contention; and in all honesty, that’s not a total deal-breaker. ..''


Fun in the sun!
Wednesday, 14th June 2006
by Gordon Thrower
''(Or how Owen’s Army surprised everyone – including themselves – at the Danny Mardell Knockout Challenge Cup tournament played at the Boleyn Ground)..''


Bat’s the way I like it, Aha Aha
Thursday, 8th June 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I have to feel a certain amount of sympathy for the wife. I know she doesn’t enjoy me constantly discussing football, she’s Scottish. ..''


Don’t fry for me, Argentina
Thursday, 1st June 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''There is only one activity in life that can be considered preferable to watching a World Cup match with an ice cold lager, and that’s when you look in to the eyes of your loved one, and whisper those three little words, “I was on,” as you gently caress a winning betting slip while watching a World Cup match with an ice cold lager. The following guide will transform that utopian dream into a reality. ..''


Da Liverpool Code - conspiracy theory
Monday, 29th May 2006
by Paul Stanley
''It happened right before our very eyes!..''


Don’t you, forget about Lee
Thursday, 25th May 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I am not an unsympathetic person. When the wife enquired if she’d recently added a little weight, I compassionately replied, “No, you’ve always been quite fat.” ..''


KUMB Special Merit Award 2006
Sunday, 21st May 2006
by Gordon Thrower
''This season KUMB is introducing a new award, the KUMB Special Merit Award. This will be awarded from time to time to the person or persons who, in the opinion of the KUMB management team, have made an outstanding contribution to the club or its supporters over the course of the previous season. This award will not necessarily be awarded every year, only if and when the management feels that there has been a deserving case...''


KUMB Writers’ Player Of The Season 2006
Sunday, 21st May 2006
by Gordon Thrower
''Over the past few years the writers’ award has evolved from a simple average of the player marks awarded by our match reporters to a complex series of calculations designed to take into account appearances. Consistency over a long period is therefore rewarded at the expense of the one-off spectacular performance. ..''


Amir formality for the King
Thursday, 18th May 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''For out and out drama, you’ve got to love the Championship play-off final. Who could forget Charlton’s pulsating victory over Sunderland in the classic final of ‘98? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether, senility is no picnic...''


FA Cup final: post match thoughts
Tuesday, 16th May 2006
by East Stand Martin
''Many ancient religions dictate a period of mourning after great loss. I have shaved my hair off, donned a sack and covered my scalp with ashes. ..''


Proud of you
Sunday, 14th May 2006
by Peter Hamersley
''It’s over. The waiting, the adrenalin flow, the buzz, the feeling of knowing you are in the Cup Final – and, the game. But what a game. Pat yourselves on the back West Ham. From everyone who was involved in this one event. From the club, the players and the supporters. Pat yourselves on the back for we showed the watching world what West Ham are all about...''


Marlon, Hammer Reds and Pool Wails
Thursday, 11th May 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''In the majority of cases, there is no truth in a supposed national stereotype. The Germans are not all methodical robots; the French are not all obnoxious and the Americans are certainly not all overweight, self important, unintelligent, tambourine banging losers who you’d rather cross the street from rather than risk the possibility of any form of social interaction. ..''




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