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Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.

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God save the Queens’
Monday, 13th November 2006
by Mark Jones
''The Queens’ Pub on Green Street is a familiar and welcoming watering-hole with football fans, market-goers and traders alike. As pubs go it’s unpretentious, a place of genial banter and camaraderie. ..''

Middlesbrough v West Ham United
Thursday, 9th November 2006
by Matthew Coker
''After a league programme that has kept up predominantly in the South East of the country of late, we are suddenly spat as far North as can be as we head to the Riverside to take on Middlesbrough in an old fashioned 3pm on a Saturday kick off. ..''

Good manager, shame about the tantrums
Thursday, 9th November 2006
by Jacob Steinberg
''New Arsenal initiative to make football a more pleasant game for all/Arsenal: No opposing manager is allowed to celebrate his team’s goals. This should prevent Arsene Wenger’s feelings from getting hurt, and will thus ensure that he does not have to start a fight to right the wrongs of lesser mortals such as Alan Pardew...''

Arsene! Coffee!
Thursday, 9th November 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Luck is an alien concept. At a recent fancy dress party to celebrate my father in law’s exit from the closet, the wife turned all ‘Paul Gascoigne’ on me. One minute, I was politely chatting to Britney Spears, the next thing I knew, the wife was repeatedly pommeling me with an oversized clown’s shoe. There’s nothing amusing about domestic violence...''

KUMB Writers' Player Of The Month - October 2006
Monday, 6th November 2006
by Gordon Thrower
''Gnome's been slaving over his spreadsheets again. Well it keeps him off the streets.......''

Kia: for and against
Saturday, 4th November 2006
by Up the Junction/Countryboy
''Kia Joorabchian’s bid to take control of West Ham United finally appears to be reaching a conclusion. Joorabchian’s takeover attempt has polarized views amongst KUMB members, two of whom now tell us why they are supporting – or campaigning against – the bid...''

West Ham United vs Arsenal
Thursday, 2nd November 2006
by Matthew Coker
''Having enjoyed more airtime on Sky than Bart Simpson over the last few weeks, West Ham again grace the nation’s screens this weekend. Once again we suffer a Sunday kick off, though this time it is at the still hungover time of 1.30pm and the way that things are going, I am sure that we will eventually kick off a game at 2.39pm or something to accommodate the peak time adverts...''

Razor nigh brow
Thursday, 2nd November 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Paul Scholes is generally admired as a footballer, but rarely receives the recognition he deserves as a role model. When Paul was a ginger schoolboy, he didn’t wallow in self pity praying for baldness, he played football with the normal children until he reached a level where Manchester United were prepared to sign him. ..''

Identity crisis? What crisis!
Wednesday, 1st November 2006
by Chris Scull
''So here we are, on the brink of a potentially glamourous new dawn, and a new beginning for our glorious and much loved club...''

The trouble with me
Tuesday, 31st October 2006
by Tross
''... is that I see straight through the smoke. ..''

West Ham United vs Blackburn Rovers
Thursday, 26th October 2006
by Matthew Coker
''After a month on the road, a considerable overuse of the expression, “goal drought” and the end of our League Cup run, we return to the Boleyn. Our opponents are Blackburn Rovers, the competition is our bread and butter Premiership and we play on our usual day, this week providing the Sunday dinner entertainment in a 4pm Sky televised match...''

Flappy girth day to Roo
Thursday, 26th October 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I’m not obsessed with celebrity, but I feel I have a genuine connection with Paul McCartney. Admittedly, I have no musical talent, and i’d happily kill my own mother for a bacon sandwich; but i know what it’s like to get grief from a legless woman. ..''

Tottenham Hotspur vs West Ham United
Thursday, 19th October 2006
by Matthew Coker
''It’s time to whip out the Oyster card and head north as our second successive away fixture sends us to White Hart Lane for a Premiership encounter with local rivals, Tottenham Hotspur. Common sense has granted this a 3pm kick off, though our opponent’s continuing interest in the UEFA Cup has meant it is yet another week of Sunday football...''

Balloon out of all proportion
Thursday, 19th October 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Normally I have little to no time for politicians; but when plans were afoot to open a massage parlour in my neighbourhood, I felt obliged to write to my local MP, demanding that action be taken to keep prices at an affordable level. ..''

KUMB Writers' Player Of The Month August-September 2006
Thursday, 12th October 2006
by Gordon Thrower
''Yes we know we're well into October but we had to lock Gnome away until he'd finshed working on the spreadsheets. It was only after three days we realised we hadn't given him a computer.......''

The ‘No Bell’ peace prize
Thursday, 12th October 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I’m not one to blow my own horn; in fact, I only ever whip my horn out on special occasions, such as a birthday, a Christmas party or a comical episode of Soccer AM. However, it’s with a genuine sense of pride that i speak of my recent charity work; I’ve been heavily involved in raising awareness of lesbian issues via the medium of DVD...''

Portsmouth vs West Ham Utd: match preview
Wednesday, 11th October 2006
by Matthew Coker
''Following our week’s sabbatical to allow for the national team to live down to all expectations, the Irons and the Premiership are back on our radars. We take a short jaunt to the South coast to take on Portsmouth on a Saturday afternoon 3pm show down. ..''

The takeover: if you build it, they will come
Monday, 9th October 2006
by Peter Hamersley
''Revolution is in the air at West Ham. Arguably, the uncertainty of it all, has affected morale at the club. The introduction of Tevez and Mascherano, neither of whom was a target for Pardew, has made a statement that the players may have misinterpreted. The lack of an official statement by the club has led to speculation by the press and others. The rumour mill is in full production as stories surface on a daily basis...''

West Ham’s suffering is good – for poor journalism!
Friday, 6th October 2006
by Gordon Thrower
''We’ve become used to a poor press over the years. It’s almost like water off a duck’s back. Granted, the end of last season was an uncomfortable time for us long-serving Hammers as previously indifferent journos fell over themselves to heap praise on a side that surprised everyone by finishing in the top half and gracing a none-too-shabby FA Cup Final...''

Where are you now…when I kneed you
Friday, 6th October 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''Without constructive criticism, improvement is virtually impossible. Armed with this noble philosophy and an in depth knowledge of the beautiful game, I have decided to share a couple of potentially helpful observations with the great minds of the English FA. ..''

Don’t panic, Mr. Pardew
Saturday, 30th September 2006
by Steven Larking
''Saturday 13 November 2004 … West Ham United faced the mighty Brighton and Hove Albion and lost one nil. At home. In front of 29,514 fans. ..''

Saturday, 30th September 2006
by Greg Mansell
''After becoming everyone’s second favourite team en route to the FA Cup Final last May with a refreshing brand of young, energetic and powerful football, West Ham are defying pundits for the second season on the spin, only this time for all the wrong reasons...''

The bedding zinger
Friday, 29th September 2006
by Gerry McDonnell
''I’m not the sentimental type. The only time I’ve ever cried as an adult was when the wife threatened to leave me; I was absolutely devastated when she changed her mind at the last minute. ..''

Palermo v West Ham Utd: match preview
Wednesday, 27th September 2006
by Matthew Coker
''“It’s a very difficult job and the only way to get through it is we all work as a team. And that means you do everything I say” - Charlie Croker, The Italian Job. You're welcome to borrow it, Pards...''

West Ham and the foreign influence
Friday, 22nd September 2006
by Kevin Pocklington
''The recent signings of the talented Argentinian duo Carlos Tevez and Javi Mascherano will have captured the imagination of most West Ham fans. The two are young, talented and have yet to reach their peak...''

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