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Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.

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Birmingham City vs West Ham United: match preview
Thursday, 1st December 2005
by Matthew Coker
''Rupert Murdoch has decreed that this weekend that all West Ham supporters should be given the weekend off. It is of course the perfect opportunity to get down to Lakeside and get those Christmas presents, perhaps a knitted loo roll holder for your Great Aunt or a nasal hair plucker for the mother-in-law. Once that is out of the way, its Monday night football as Birmingham City await us at St Andrews...''

A tutu thriller
Thursday, 1st December 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''I’m no stranger to pain; I once watched all of Soccer AM. The feeling of hopelessness I experienced that day is similar to the distress that Manchester United supporters now feel, as they face a future without Roy Keane...''

West Ham United vs Manchester United: match preview
Thursday, 24th November 2005
by Matthew Coker
''Its all back to the Boleyn at the weekend for our second successive Sunday game, Teddy’s second game in a row against one of his old teams and a fair chance that the name Ferdinand will appear in the Monday headlines again. It’s a four o’ clock kick off in front of a full house and the Sky cameras as we continue our Premiership adventure...''

Science is Goalden
Thursday, 24th November 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''The definition of happiness is spending time with the one you love; for me, that’s the television. Having accidentally flicked on to a science channel, I was intrigued by the following question, “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” ..''

The Talk of the Toon
Thursday, 17th November 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''A few years ago, you couldn’t turn the television on without hearing Bob Hoskins say, “It’s good to talk”, Jose Mourinho may not be a chubby Cockney, but he shares Bob’s love of the spoken word...''

Tottenham Hotspur vs West Ham United: match preview
Wednesday, 16th November 2005
by Matthew Coker
''With less than 40 days to Christmas, the officers of the Metropolitan Police have worked out this would be a good weekend for a bit of Sabbath overtime. Therefore, on Sunday lunchtime, West Ham and a few hundred robocops head to N17, where the Irons seek their 15th competitive victory at White Hart Lane...''

Becks, Rugs and Rock and Roll
Thursday, 10th November 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''We’ve all heard the expression, ‘It could be a war out there’, when Argentina play England at football; it’s not a cliché, it’s a valid prediction...''

Love him or hate him – we need him
Tuesday, 8th November 2005
by Greg Mansell
''If you were survey a thousand West Ham fans and ask which team they dislike most; the strong likelihood would be they consisted and made a top three, in varying degrees of order, of Millwall, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United. ..''

KUMB Writers’ Player Of The Month October 2005
Friday, 4th November 2005
by Gordon Thrower
''The marks have been totted up and the race for the coveted KUMB Writers’ Award is well and truly under way. After the team’s excellent start to the season things have settled down a bit. ..''

The bubble boy
Thursday, 3rd November 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''Even a betting genius can occasionally have a bad week. After receiving an ultimatum from the wife, “It’s either betting or me.” I immediately had a lumpy bet on Chelsea to beat Betis. To make matters even worse, the threat turned out to be very much like the wife; idle. ..''

West Ham vs West Bromwich Albion: match preview
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005
by Matthew Coker
''You know that the opposition is pretty poor when you get allocated a 3pm kick off on a Saturday afternoon. This week we welcome the Baggies, West Brom to the Boleyn for our next stage of our Premier League adventure. ..''

Killing me softly…..with Boumsong
Friday, 28th October 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''The pen is mightier than the sword, but definitely not in the hands of a Frenchman. As a result of Arsenal’s hilarious spot-kick, Thierry Henry is now responsible for the remainder of the Gunners’ penalties. The showboat capsized spectacularly, but it’s the bookies that will be turned over; back the French genius to be top Premiership goal scorer at 4/1...''

Liverpool vs West Ham United: match preview
Friday, 28th October 2005
by Matthew Coker
''Here we go again, Saturday means back in the minibus for a trip to Liverpool as we take on the Champions of Europe in the Premier League. Our inability to win at Anfield has been well documented, I am sure that you are all aware that the last time we won there was in 1963. To put the length of time into perspective, in 1963, Stevie Wonder released his first album and the Great Train Robbery took place...''

Bolton Wanderers vs West Ham United: match preview
Tuesday, 25th October 2005
by Matthew Coker
''After defeating Wednesday on a Tuesday, we face the Trotters on a Wednesday, a midweek trip to the Reebok stadium for the third round of the weak lager cup. We have arrived here by virtue of defeating Sheffield Wednesday in the second round, 4-2. Most people will remember Zamora’s second goal, a 30 yard lob converted with apparent ease but Dailly also converted a bullet header and Bellion a cool finish for a good attacking performance. ..''

West Ham United vs Middlesbrough: match preview
Thursday, 20th October 2005
by Matthew Coker
''After a month on international duty and on the road, we all get to bundle back to the Boleyn this weekend to play hosts to Middlesbrough. As we are trying hard to avoid an unfashionable Saturday 3pm kick off, this game takes place on a Sunday, though as a consequence of our guests UEFA cup game rather than because of a Sky executive decision...''

Three go missing in Manchester
Tuesday, 18th October 2005
by Greg Mansell
''So the first away defeat has arrived. It’s a couple of weeks late, even the most ardent West Ham supporter would surely agree, having stolen a point at the Stadium of Light with Yossi Benayoun playing the ‘get out of jail’ card perfectly with a classy finish. ..''

The Moody Blues
Thursday, 13th October 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''As a child, I quickly came to terms with the concept of a caterpillar evolving into a butterfly. As an adult, I accepted the wife’s monthly tendency to turn into a raging psychopath, before reverting back to the more placid psychopath she would normally be. As a betting genius, I find Everton’s transformation from Champions League participants into Sunday League cloggers more difficult to comprehend...''

Manchester City v West Ham United: match preview
Wednesday, 12th October 2005
by Matthew Coker
''Whilst the rest of the nation are settling down to a Sunday roast, we resume our quest for Premiership survival with our first ever trip to the City of Manchester Stadium. ..''

Ramsay's Treat
Thursday, 6th October 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''I'm not one for jumping on band-wagons, or any wooden form of transport, but Sven has made mistakes in the last couple of games that need to be rectified. ..''

Can't buy me love, by the Beat All's
Thursday, 29th September 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''In life, I have two goals (that's one more than Djibril Cisse); to see world peace in my lifetime, and to make a consistent profit on football betting. Unfortunately, only one of my goals is achievable...''

Sunderland v West Ham United: match preview
Tuesday, 27th September 2005
by Matthew Coker
''Any West Ham supporter attending all the games this season could be forgiven for thinking that Premier League is based exclusively in the North East or in London as we thumb a lift to the Stadium of Lightfor Saturday teatime. ..''

KUMB Writers’ Awards 2005/06 - Aug/Sept results
Monday, 26th September 2005
by Gordon Thrower
''KUMB is pleased to announce the return of its much coveted annual Writers’ awards. Back for their fifth season, the awards are based on the marks out of ten that are awarded each week by our match reporters. For this season we’ve added another element to the awards as we introduce the inaugural KUMB Player Of The Month award – do we spoil you or what?..''

The Good Book
Thursday, 22nd September 2005
by Gerry McDonnell
''The Premiership is universally touted as the greatest league in the World, yet the football played this season is comparable to sex between old people; exciting for the participants, but the neutral has no real interest...''

West Ham United vs Arsenal: match preview
Wednesday, 21st September 2005
by Matthew Coker
''The City of London covers 617 square miles and has a population of nearly 7 million people. It is a vibrant and multicultural metropolis where people from all over the world settle to live, to trade to work and to discover the attractions of the city...''

Sheffield Weds v West Ham: match preview
Monday, 19th September 2005
by Matthew Coker
''So the first cup tie of the season sees us at Wednesday on a Tuesday for the second round of the Carling Cup. ..''

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