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Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.


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Turkey well and truly consumed, it's time to do some work once again.
Thursday, 30th December 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Turkey well and truly consumed, it's time to do some work once again...''


The Silly Season
Wednesday, 29th December 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''It's just all been a little too much for me, this past week; in fact I could almost thank our misfit club for pushing me to the edge and having it large...''


Matt Jansen ...
Tuesday, 28th December 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''... is up for sale. New Blackburn boss Tony Parkes is looking to offload the striker for a fee similar to the 4.3m they paid Crystal Palace a year or so ago...''


You couldn't make it up ...
Friday, 17th December 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Well. I wrote in my last article about how much excitement we had 'suffered' at Upton Park during the last month, what with the Wednesday, Birmingham and Villa escapades. How little did I know that all of this was about to be eclipsed by the events of one of the most extraordinary weekends I have ever known as a Hammers fan. ..''


The Great Escape
Friday, 26th November 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Well. What a month it has been. Not one, but three great escapes that Steve McQueen and Donald Pleasence would have been justifiably proud of. So what's happened to the Hammers lately?..''


Tottenham
Monday, 15th November 1999
by Chris Tye
''Well done P.Jones of Loughborough. You've joined an elite band of jumped up tossers whose pathetic administering of reds and yellows in order to enjoy a little bit of limelight has ruined a game for us. Ruined a game for everyone, really, but especially us who've lost a man. You can book a table for 5 in London's West End, invite fellow conspirators Keith Hackett, Rob Harris, Rudi Glockner and Paul Danson, and compare tales. It'd be something like this......''


Go Now
Tuesday, 9th November 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Five games since the last report; three draws (Sunderland, Steaua and Chelsea) and two defeats (Liverpool and Leeds)...''


Promise much, deliver little
Thursday, 28th October 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''I've been thinking, yes even I do it sometimes. I can't believe our European dream is over; I cannot believe we created so many chances and failed to score. I also cannot believe how bad the game at Stamford Bridge was last Sunday. I knew I'd regret not going to Romania, I only hope now it is not another 18 years until we have a European night at the Boleyn...''


Arsene: Vieira not guilty
Wednesday, 27th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''Arsene Wenger today named 93 year old Bert Smith, landlord of the Dog and Duck between 1945 and 1967 as being 'at least as responsible for the Vieira spitting incident as Patrick himself'...''


Wenger disciplines Vieira
Sunday, 24th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''Arsene Wenger promised to discipline Patrick Vieira, after another amazing loss of discipline today. 'I will fine him' said Wenger. 'Our disciplinary structure allows me to fine him 27 pence...the price of a bag of cheese and onion crisps, and that is what I will do'. In the wake of further bad behaviour from the Senegalese sinner, Arsene stated that his temperamental midfield star was 'misunderstood, although I accept that in a few cases, he could perhaps, if it wasn't too much effort and as long as it didn't effect our team and chances of winning have behaved slightly better'...''


The Art of Falling Apart
Saturday, 23rd October 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Three games since the last report; a win against Bournemouth and defeats at the hands of Middlesbrough and Steaua Bucharest...''


Harry and the Youths
Sunday, 17th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''When Harrys' reign at our beloved club is over, he will be remembered for many things. Likeable, approachable, a lion in the transfer market and a lamb on the bench, Europe 1999 - perhaps even a trophy if we're lucky.But his best, his most far reaching work has, however, been with the youths...''


We're all going on a European tour
Friday, 15th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''I've looked back on the match, and thought about how many ways there are to create a chance, and yet not end up with a goal...''


Dirty Bastard
Wednesday, 6th October 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Three games since the last report; wins against Osijek and Arsenal plus defeat at Coventry...''


August and September
Sunday, 3rd October 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''Phew. Another cold lager, the fantastic Supergrass on the stereo. Maybe I can catch my breath, work out if anything has gone horribly wrong so far this season (don't worry, the Blurbs were a one-off in an occasional series of the madder workings of my and other peoples minds, wait until we revisit "cult of the nine"and the Bo's amongst the more surreal things that have happened this decade). ..''


Digital Nonsense and Other Stories
Saturday, 2nd October 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Two games since the last report; a win at home to Osijek and defeat at Everton...''


One Elle of a week
Thursday, 23rd September 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''What a week it's been here at KUMB. Three Hammers matches (two wins and a draw, can't be bad) plus one of the most amazing experiences of my life - the birth of my first child, little Elle (pronounced Ell-ee in case you were wondering)...''


Eat no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil
Tuesday, 21st September 1999
by Alison Leahy
''"Let the rhythm start to play, dance with me, make me sway" the sound of teenage pop pervades the still autumnal night and reinforces my theory of the parallels between dance and football. Even the News of the Screws is in on the deal and reported last weekend that dance instructor Mileva Drljaca has been employed by Newcastle United, amongst others, to jazz up training routines. Apparently Alan Shearer could only lift his leg a short distance but now he can he can pull it up past his hips. "Well hell-ooooooh" (in my best Lesley Philips purr). ..''


Metz
Wednesday, 15th September 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''I've realised that I am still buzzing, so with one of my duty free lagers and some of the obligitory Toblerone that I feel I simply have to buy every time I go abroad, I'll try and make some sense and convey what the last 24 hours have been like...''


John Moncur - Football Genius
Wednesday, 15th September 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''"Hi, my name's Stereo Mike, what the hell am I doing drinking in L.A", hell I'm not even 26, or L.A for that matter...''


(Not So) Happy Days
Monday, 13th September 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Last week I opened this column by reflecting on what a good week it had been to be a West Ham supporter. So predictably, and in typical fashion, this week turned out to be completely the opposite...''


Round-up
Friday, 10th September 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Well, it seems like ages since I filed my last report. Parenthood has rather taken over everything in my life - believe me, this two week break in the Premiership couldn't have been better timed...''


Happy Days
Wednesday, 18th August 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''It's been a good week to be a West Ham United supporter...''


Lost Weekend
Saturday, 14th August 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''A Lost weekend, in a hotel in Helsinki...''


Sun, Sea, Orbits & Shadows
Sunday, 25th July 1999
by Alison Leahy
''I catch the morning surf and ride the crest of a wave. Claret and blue bikini sitting on my hips, the sun on my back and the tide is high. The other teams paddle to try and catch the claret and blue waves but it aint happening...''




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