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Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.


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Wenger disciplines Vieira
Sunday, 24th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''Arsene Wenger promised to discipline Patrick Vieira, after another amazing loss of discipline today. 'I will fine him' said Wenger. 'Our disciplinary structure allows me to fine him 27 pence...the price of a bag of cheese and onion crisps, and that is what I will do'. In the wake of further bad behaviour from the Senegalese sinner, Arsene stated that his temperamental midfield star was 'misunderstood, although I accept that in a few cases, he could perhaps, if it wasn't too much effort and as long as it didn't effect our team and chances of winning have behaved slightly better'...''


The Art of Falling Apart
Saturday, 23rd October 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Three games since the last report; a win against Bournemouth and defeats at the hands of Middlesbrough and Steaua Bucharest...''


Harry and the Youths
Sunday, 17th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''When Harrys' reign at our beloved club is over, he will be remembered for many things. Likeable, approachable, a lion in the transfer market and a lamb on the bench, Europe 1999 - perhaps even a trophy if we're lucky.But his best, his most far reaching work has, however, been with the youths...''


We're all going on a European tour
Friday, 15th October 1999
by Chris Tye
''I've looked back on the match, and thought about how many ways there are to create a chance, and yet not end up with a goal...''


Dirty Bastard
Wednesday, 6th October 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Three games since the last report; wins against Osijek and Arsenal plus defeat at Coventry...''


August and September
Sunday, 3rd October 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''Phew. Another cold lager, the fantastic Supergrass on the stereo. Maybe I can catch my breath, work out if anything has gone horribly wrong so far this season (don't worry, the Blurbs were a one-off in an occasional series of the madder workings of my and other peoples minds, wait until we revisit "cult of the nine"and the Bo's amongst the more surreal things that have happened this decade). ..''


Digital Nonsense and Other Stories
Saturday, 2nd October 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Two games since the last report; a win at home to Osijek and defeat at Everton...''


One Elle of a week
Thursday, 23rd September 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''What a week it's been here at KUMB. Three Hammers matches (two wins and a draw, can't be bad) plus one of the most amazing experiences of my life - the birth of my first child, little Elle (pronounced Ell-ee in case you were wondering)...''


Eat no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil
Tuesday, 21st September 1999
by Alison Leahy
''"Let the rhythm start to play, dance with me, make me sway" the sound of teenage pop pervades the still autumnal night and reinforces my theory of the parallels between dance and football. Even the News of the Screws is in on the deal and reported last weekend that dance instructor Mileva Drljaca has been employed by Newcastle United, amongst others, to jazz up training routines. Apparently Alan Shearer could only lift his leg a short distance but now he can he can pull it up past his hips. "Well hell-ooooooh" (in my best Lesley Philips purr). ..''


Metz
Wednesday, 15th September 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''I've realised that I am still buzzing, so with one of my duty free lagers and some of the obligitory Toblerone that I feel I simply have to buy every time I go abroad, I'll try and make some sense and convey what the last 24 hours have been like...''


John Moncur - Football Genius
Wednesday, 15th September 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''"Hi, my name's Stereo Mike, what the hell am I doing drinking in L.A", hell I'm not even 26, or L.A for that matter...''


(Not So) Happy Days
Monday, 13th September 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Last week I opened this column by reflecting on what a good week it had been to be a West Ham supporter. So predictably, and in typical fashion, this week turned out to be completely the opposite...''


Round-up
Friday, 10th September 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''Well, it seems like ages since I filed my last report. Parenthood has rather taken over everything in my life - believe me, this two week break in the Premiership couldn't have been better timed...''


Happy Days
Wednesday, 18th August 1999
by Graeme Howlett
''It's been a good week to be a West Ham United supporter...''


Lost Weekend
Saturday, 14th August 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''A Lost weekend, in a hotel in Helsinki...''


Sun, Sea, Orbits & Shadows
Sunday, 25th July 1999
by Alison Leahy
''I catch the morning surf and ride the crest of a wave. Claret and blue bikini sitting on my hips, the sun on my back and the tide is high. The other teams paddle to try and catch the claret and blue waves but it aint happening...''


Havin' It !
Monday, 14th June 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
'''Havin it in Ibiza, Yeah!!..''


Bobby On The Ball
Sunday, 6th June 1999
by Bobby Upper Bobby
''(This installment of BOBBY ON THE BALL is brought to you by the letters B and L)...''


Harry's Heroes
Friday, 4th June 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''Again it seems an age since I have written for my favourite on line West Ham fanzine.....''


The Return of the Magnificent
Saturday, 1st May 1999
by Bobby Upper Bobby
''Hi y' all out there in KUMB land. Sorry it's been so long since I was last here to give you the benefit of my vast knowledge of football and all things West Ham. You know what it's like though, business to do, people to see, on me toes etc...''


There's Only One John Moncur
Saturday, 27th March 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''It always seems so much has happened in between my writing for KUMB, but I'd like to dedicate my ramblings here to John Moncur...''


Harry's Game
Saturday, 27th March 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''My, how things change in this topsy turvy, curly wurly season. ..''


Fortunes Always Hiding
Monday, 8th February 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''Happy new year, yeah right - it would be if we could stop conceding four goals a game, what's happened? We aren't leaking goals, but we are gushing goals against. I am having a hard time getting to grips with the whole thing.....''


Joe Cole Express
Monday, 4th January 1999
by Dan O`Rourke
''Happy new year to everyone, or anyone that takes the time to read my somewhat irrelevant thoughts. It's back to work for all of us and I'm having trouble carrying those extra pounds around the office, particularly after the lastest Cup debacle and to think I referred to the Swans as "only Swansea" about 5 minutes before kick off!! I guess some of us will never learn , or weren't there against Farnborough Town, Grimsby, Stockport, Luton, Wrexham etc. I was lucky enough to see the mighty Emley and the home game against the Cobblers though, lucky me eh...''


St.James' Park to Elland Road
Tuesday, 22nd December 1998
by Dan O`Rourke
''Itís been over a month now since Iíve written for KUMB and so much has changed, or has it I hear some of the doubters cry...''




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