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Articles by East Stand Martin

Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.


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Omnishambles
Sunday, 11th March 2018
by East Stand Martin
''It was like Lord of the Rings down at the running track today. Unbelievable that no-one had the foresight to turn up with a ladder or at least a grappling hook on a rope to invade the Director's seating from the concourse...''


Do you have the time to listen to me whine?
Wednesday, 7th March 2018
by East Stand Martin
''Here's what rich people do...''


The debacle continues
Sunday, 16th January 2011
by East Stand Martin
''It's hard to conceive a more preposterous cock-up than what has been going on of late. But let's face the facts: it's no great surprise given the way Sullivan and Gold have managed our club since the took over...''


After the lies came the farce
Saturday, 27th September 2008
by East Stand Martin
''I have some very good friends in Sheffield. We have a lot in common. We all love our football clubs and we also love English cricket. Sheffield United Football Club is a great Yorkshire institution and I happen to have a lot of respect for its fans. They are passionate. They are not glory-hunters. They support their local club, although admittedly quite a number of locals prefer the other steel city club, who my mates disparagingly call ‘Wendys’. Their corruption of ‘Annie’s Song’ has to be one of great football anthems. I like visiting Bramall Lane because it reminds me of football grounds in the 1980s. It’s a piece of nostalgia...''


Why Tevez must go
Monday, 16th July 2007
by East Stand Martin
''This is bound to spark outrage amongst Tevez-worshippers, but I have come to the inevitable conclusion that it is time for our club to move on from Tevezgate...''


Post arbitration panel thoughts
Thursday, 5th July 2007
by East Stand Martin
''Over the past couple of months West Ham fans up and down the country have been fighting their corners against just about every other fan of another Premier League club about the rights and wrongs of the Carlos Tevez affair...''


Deceit, greed and incompetence
Saturday, 28th April 2007
by East Stand Martin
''It took an independent inquiry to really blow the cover on the despicable Brown regime. Today’s FAPL judgement proved what many had suspected for a long time. Our club has been run by a bunch of parasitical charlatans without any obvious business ethics...''


Post Pardew thoughts
Monday, 11th December 2006
by East Stand Martin
''Today, the £100 million new owners of our club showed just how fickle they can be with the sacking of a manager that brought back pride to West Ham United Football Club. ..''


FA Cup final: post match thoughts
Tuesday, 16th May 2006
by East Stand Martin
''Many ancient religions dictate a period of mourning after great loss. I have shaved my hair off, donned a sack and covered my scalp with ashes. ..''


Post Osasuna thoughts
Sunday, 7th August 2005
by East Stand Martin
''I’ve got to admit that I was not exactly overjoyed about nipping down to Upton Park today with the prospect of a top day’s test cricket on the telly. ..''


ESM's Cardiff preview
Sunday, 29th May 2005
by East Stand Martin
''It’s almost time to make that dreaded trip into the Principality again and to be honest the nerves are jangling like Big Ron’s bracelets...''


Bradford - 20 years on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005
by East Stand Martin
''11th May is a day that all football fans should never forget, it is the day that 56 people, young and old perished in the terrible fire at Valley Parade, Bradford. In addition to the 56 that lost their lives there were over 260 injuries – it was the worst fire disaster in the history of British football...''


Post-Sunderland thoughts
Saturday, 30th April 2005
by East Stand Martin
''I'm not going to write a match report as just about everybody would have seen that game for themselves. ..''


Post season thoughts
Monday, 28th June 2004
by East Stand Martin
''Now that two debacles in a row are out the way, one in Cardiff, one in Lisbon, it’s time for a little closure on the disappointing 2003/04 season. I hope you’ll enjoy some things that came back to me in a little retrospective through some of the notable points of my season. ..''


ESM's post-match Palace thoughts
Monday, 31st May 2004
by East Stand Martin
''It’s not often you find me in a gay bar, but I thought I’d make an exception for the visit to Cardiff. Besides, I do actually quite like Abba and it happened to be the only place anywhere near the Stadium where the bar wasn’t 20 people deep...''


ESM's post-Ipswich thoughts
Sunday, 16th May 2004
by East Stand Martin
''Not long back from outlaw country having successfully avoided ending up like Edward Woodward in "The Whicker Man". ..''


Farewell, Jermain
Friday, 6th February 2004
by East Stand Martin
''Just before the transfer window opened, I started a debate on the forum of KUMB*. My starting point, because I knew that Old Man Brown was salivating at the prospect of cashing in on Jermain, was that there was no sense in a sale...''


ESM: post-Sheffield thoughts
Saturday, 17th January 2004
by East Stand Martin
''Tonight in desperation, I have been onto the National Schizophrenic Fellowship website to see what advice can be given about a split personality football team...''


ESM: post Preston thoughts
Sunday, 11th January 2004
by East Stand Martin
''I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a particularly superstitious character. This stems from a time when I went to see Gypsy Rose Lee on the front at Blackpool and she told me that I would be lucky in love. Subsequent events proved that the old crone was a five star charlatan. ..''


ESM: Post Ipswich thoughts
Saturday, 27th December 2003
by East Stand Martin
''ESM Jnr and I, full of Xmas spirit in the car on the way to Upton Park: ..''


The claret and blue revolution
Sunday, 7th December 2003
by East Stand Martin
''My friends, I say that Monday is the day that will be the beginning of the end for the gangster regime that is running our club. I do not expect the forces of light to prevail at the West Ham United plc AGM but all revolutions begin in small ways...''


Terence Brown’s casino economy
Wednesday, 12th November 2003
by East Stand Martin
''For the last five days or so, I have been bang in the middle of never-never land where time blurs into one and obese Americans stare blankly into slot machines or slump in a stupor as the next hand of black jack is dealt...''


A nightmare on Green Street
Tuesday, 26th August 2003
by East Stand Martin
''Forgive me for coming at this a bit late, but I just had to sit down in a darkened room to calm down after the latest chaotic happenings at our club...''


The thoughts of Chairman Brown – a reply
Thursday, 14th August 2003
by East Stand Martin
''During half time at the Rushden & Diamonds game, I sat back in my comfortable seat in East Stand Upper to read the latest thoughts of Chairman Brown. I always try to read these statements with an open mind and honestly my natural instinct is always to try and see something positive in what people say. ..''


The Terry Brown masterclass
Wednesday, 6th August 2003
by East Stand Martin
''Around the country in the expanding number of sports management departments at colleges and universities, lecturers are now preparing their classes for the forthcoming year...''


Administration?
Tuesday, 15th July 2003
by East Stand Martin
''During the course of my work, I often come across companies who go into administration. ..''


A message to the Chairman
Sunday, 4th May 2003
by East Stand Martin
''Saturday’s fantastic game against the blue enemy will go down in the annals of West Ham history. Those terrible games at home against West Brom, Man City (bore draw of the century), Birmingham, Leeds (the give away of the century) and Oldham just faded into the distance. ..''


The Battle Ahead
Wednesday, 2nd April 2003
by East Stand Martin
''My friends, it will go down to the wire. ..''


 
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