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Articles by Preview Percy

Blogs, random musings and general thoughts submitted by our readers since 1997.


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West Ham United v Manchester City
Friday, 24th October 2014
by Preview Percy
''Sergio Aguero? David Cross was better. Let Preview Percy explain why.......''


Burnley v West Ham United
Friday, 17th October 2014
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy's look at this weekend's oponents is a bit earlier than usual as he's going to this one. That'll be HIS mobility scooter you'll be getting stuck behind on the M6 this afternoon then....''


West Ham United v Queens Park Rangers
Saturday, 4th October 2014
by Preview Percy
''We're often asked what Preview Percy's full name is. To tell the truth we're not sure as he refuses to tell anyone "for tax reasons". Which, for some strange reason, reminds us of this weekend's match........''


Manchester United v West Ham United
Friday, 26th September 2014
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has had a stupid grin on his face all week. And, for once, it wasn't down to his ill fitting dentures. Well not all of it anyway. Before they sedated him for the day he had a look at this weekend's trip to Old Trafford. If only they'd given him the pills earlier.......''


West Ham United v Liverpool
Friday, 19th September 2014
by Preview Percy
''We'd hoped that an independent Scotland was somewhere we could have deported Preview Percy to. No wonder they voted "No". While we get on to the Ecuadorian Embassy to find out whether that room is free yet, here's his look at this weekend's visit of Liverpool..... ..''


Hull City v West Ham United
Sunday, 14th September 2014
by Preview Percy
''He's had a week off and, having been snubbed by England, Preview Percy is now considering taking his international preview, er, "talents", down to help Gibraltar's European Championship campaign. As if the Spanish weren't cheesed off enough already. In the meantime he's back on the domestic trail looking at Monday night's trip to Hull...... ..''


West Ham United v Southampton
Friday, 29th August 2014
by Preview Percy
''What connects Southampton, Jimmy out of the Krankies and Michael Jackson? Nothing. Only a warped mind would even think of such a link. Here's Preview Percy then.......''


West Ham United v Sheffield United
Monday, 25th August 2014
by Preview Percy
''It's time for the first Cup preview of the season and you won't be at all surprised to discover that Preview Percy is most definitely one to bear grudges.... ..''


Crystal Palace v West Ham United
Friday, 22nd August 2014
by Preview Percy
''Just in case any of you were thinking about nominating Preview Percy for the ice bucket challenge, you may be pleased to know that the first person to do so is expected to make a full recovery from the operation to remove a galvanised pail from their backside. Eventually. Meanwhile here's the miserable one's thoughts on this weekend's visit to Selhurst Park..... ..''


West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur
Friday, 15th August 2014
by Preview Percy
''We tried to find someone new to write these during the close season. We really did. Honest. Unfortunately, we seem to be lumbered with Preview Percy for another 10 months. Werther's at the ready then........''


Manchester City v West Ham United
Saturday, 10th May 2014
by Preview Percy
''That's it. We don't have to visit Preview Percy again for three whole months.We assume you are all as relieved as we are.......''


West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur
Saturday, 3rd May 2014
by Preview Percy
''We had so much fun waking Preview Percy up in the middle of the night last week that we thought we'd do it again. We'd like to apologise in advance to famous conductor Andre Previn for the torrent of tweets of complaint he's about to get from N17. By the way, we loved the Morecambe and Wise thing sir if you're reading this......''


West Bromwich Albion v West Ham United
Saturday, 26th April 2014
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has asked us to point out to all the nice people who have asked that he won't actually be attending the kumb.com live awards show at the East Ham Working Men's Club on May 13th as it clashes with "Prune Night" at the Avram Grant Olympic Rest Home For The Bewidered. So you can buy your tickets without any worries on that score.... ..''


West Ham United v Crystal Palace
Friday, 18th April 2014
by Preview Percy
''Whoever named it "Good" Friday clearly never had to visit Preview Percy over Easter. Unfortunately, we did...........''


Arsenal v West Ham Untied
Monday, 14th April 2014
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has had a nice rest this weekend. Does it mean he's got any better? Does it heck........''


West Ham United v Liverpool
Friday, 4th April 2014
by Preview Percy
''Curious about Luis Suarez's half-time cuppa or what was being turned over in Liverpool's "Robbery Of The Week?" No us neither. Preview Percy mentions them anyway.......''


Sunderland v West Ham United
Sunday, 30th March 2014
by Preview Percy
''When Preview Percy saw the item on the first gay marriages on the news the other night we were surprised to find that the reactionary old buffer was in favour. "Good" he explained. "Why shouldn't everyone suffer like the rest of us?" You can see why he celebrates his decree absolute every year..... ..''


West Ham United v Hull (for the time being) City
Tuesday, 25th March 2014
by Preview Percy
''Fine wines often mature with age. Preview Percy is like a fine wine only insofar as he is often drunk........''


West Ham United v Manchester United
Thursday, 20th March 2014
by Preview Percy
''This week's effort from Preview Percy is earlier than usual due to his having a prior engagement. It's no better though.... ..''


Stoke City v West Ham United
Friday, 14th March 2014
by Preview Percy
''Many people who have a week off come back refreshed and with renewed enthusiasm for their lot. Preview Percy isn't one of them, though he did perk up a bit on hearing that the site's editor has 'flu. Here's his look at this weekend's trip to Staffordshire. Or alternatively you could go and have root canal surgery, which would probably be less painful......''


Everton v West Ham United
Friday, 28th February 2014
by Preview Percy
''We managed to stop Preview Percy from laughing at the reaction of Southampton supporters to last weekend's result for long enough to get him to write this week's preview. We shouldn't have bothered really..... ..''


West Ham United v Southampton
Friday, 21st February 2014
by Preview Percy
''Having had a weekend off, we had to drag Preview Percy out of the Swan And Superinjunction to get him to write this one. Was it worth it? Probably not...... ..''


West Ham United v Norwich City
Monday, 10th February 2014
by Preview Percy
''Two wins on the trot have cheered the notoriously grumpy Preview Percy up a little bit. Frankly, we preferred him when he was miserable.....''


Aston Villa v West Ham United
Friday, 7th February 2014
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy set a new world record this week as he became the first person ever to achieve a blood pressure reading with a comma in it. We wonder if a certain referee might have had something to do with it..... ..''


West Ham United v Swansea City
Friday, 31st January 2014
by Preview Percy
''When Jose Mourinho came out with his petty and hypocritical outburst about "19th Century Football" the other night we immediately thought of Preview Percy. Actually we're not sure Percy's actually that young.......''


Chelsea v West Ham United
Tuesday, 28th January 2014
by Preview Percy
''In honour of our new signings Preview Percy has gone all Italian. To be honest it's not a pretty sight.......''


West Ham United v Newcastle United
Friday, 17th January 2014
by Preview Percy
''There's something very strange going on. It stopped raining a few minutes ago, West Ham won away and Preview Percy has even said something vaguely complimentary about a referee. It'll never last.......''


Cardiff City v West Ham United
Friday, 10th January 2014
by Preview Percy
''The word "Preview" in Welsh is, according to our online translation "rhagolwg". Which, by coincidence, is pretty much the noise Preview Percy makes in clearing his throat first thing in the morning. Which is why we go and pick up his match previews in the evening...... ..''


Manchester City v West Ham United
Tuesday, 7th January 2014
by Preview Percy
''In advance of a tough trip to the Etihad, where better to get an advance look at the opposition than from Preview Percy? Actually we can think of dozens of places, although, none of them mention the sonic qualities of quacking ducks... ..''


Nottingham Forest v West Ham United
Saturday, 4th January 2014
by Preview Percy
''Werther's originals, Australian sheep farms and condoms. Must be another Preview Percy, er, preview. There may be some stuff about football in there too if you can be bothered to look. We couldn't........''


Fulham v West Ham United
Tuesday, 31st December 2013
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy would like to wish a happy new year to everyone he likes. Shouldn't take long then......''


West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion
Friday, 27th December 2013
by Preview Percy
''There aren't too many match previews that quote J B Priestley. Here, Preview Percy shows why......''


West Ham United v Arsenal
Tuesday, 24th December 2013
by Preview Percy
''Hide the mistletoe - it's Preview Percy. On second thoughts just hide the drink......''


Manchester United v West Ham United
Friday, 20th December 2013
by Preview Percy
''When we popped over to the Avram Grant Olympic Rest Home For The Bewildered earlier on to pick up Preview Percy's latest ramblings we spotted him laying out trip wires on the path up to the front door. It must be carol singing season. Here's the mad one's thoughts on this weekend's trip to Old Trafford.... ..''


Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United
Tuesday, 17th December 2013
by Preview Percy
''Oh dear. Preview Percy on Spurs. Let's face it he's not one to ignore the easy targets is he? It'll end in tears you know. Particularly if you happen to be an ox......''


West Ham United v Sunderland
Friday, 13th December 2013
by Preview Percy
''It's Friday the thirteenth so it's with a due sense of foreboding that we hand over another chunk of bandwidth to Preview Percy. Actually we have that same sense of foreboding every Friday at this time. Here's his look at this weekend's visit of Sunderland. Alternatively we're sure there's something good on telly you could watch.....''


Liverpool v West Ham United
Friday, 6th December 2013
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy likes the city of Liverpool about as much as he likes Croydon, though his campaign to have Merseyside gift-wrapped and given to Scotland as a "going away present" has yet to get much support outside Manchester. Here's his look at this season's fools errand to Anfield.... ..''


Crystal Palace v West Ham United
Tuesday, 3rd December 2013
by Preview Percy
''We get the distinct impression that Preview Percy doesn't really like Croydon. Just a hunch.......''


West Ham United v Fulham
Friday, 29th November 2013
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy struggles to keep up with current affairs. We've spent all week trying to convince him that Nigella Lawson isn't chairman of the Co-Op Bank for example. We'd like to say he's better when it comes to football. We'd like to say that but.... ..''


West Ham United v Chelsea
Friday, 22nd November 2013
by Preview Percy
''During this cold snap, picture if you will the sight of a miserable old figure shivering in the dark huddling over a laptop for warmth. Don't feel sorry for Preview Percy though. There's plenty of heating at the Avram Grant Olympic Rest Home For The Bewildered. The old so and so is just too mean to pay for it. Here's his look at this weekend's visit of some other Pensioners.... ..''


Norwich City v West Ham United
Friday, 8th November 2013
by Preview Percy
''More from the man who failed the audition for the "Grumpy Old Men" TV show because he was too miserable. Television's loss is, er, our loss as well.......''


West Ham United v Aston Villa
Friday, 1st November 2013
by Preview Percy
''He's a bit late tonight. This is because he's spent the past few hours trying to convince a Crystal Palace fan that they are in fact playing West BROM tomorrow. Preview Percy may be daft but he usually gets the names of our opponents right. Well "occasionally" anyway... ..''


Burnley v West Ham United
Monday, 28th October 2013
by Preview Percy
''Hide the Sanatogen, it's Preview Percy. Again. Sorry......''


Swansea City v West Ham United
Saturday, 26th October 2013
by Preview Percy
''It's an international special from Peview Percy, this week. Ok it's not particularly special but it does involve going to Wales.......''


West Ham United v Manchester City
Friday, 18th October 2013
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy spent his week off laughing at Spurs. So no real change to any other week then really. He paused between giggles for long enough to write this though....... ..''


Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United
Friday, 4th October 2013
by Preview Percy
''At a loose end? Why not take a gander at Preview Percy's look at Sunday's match at Tottenham. If you're a Spurs fan though you'll probably want to go catch up on the Miley Cyrus/Sinead O'Connor spat or something instead..... ..''


Hull City v West Ham United
Thursday, 26th September 2013
by Preview Percy
''If you're one of those who actually enjoys Preview Percy's ramblings, there are probably some people you ought to speak to. In the meantime knock yourself out..... ..''


West Ham United v Cardiff City
Monday, 23rd September 2013
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has written another preview about Cardiff City. It's just as bad as the previous one. Let's hope and pray we don't get them in the FA Cup as well......''


West Ham United v Everton
Thursday, 19th September 2013
by Preview Percy
''Despite the fact the Liverpool was its home port, Preview Percy has spurned the chance to make it a hat-trick of mentions for The Titanic in as many weeks. Which is a shame really as it's usually the only factually correct thing in his so-called "previews". Here's his look at this weekend's visit of Everton..... ..''


Southampton v West Ham United
Saturday, 14th September 2013
by Preview Percy
''The Titanic (again)? Fish fingers? Haggis? Mini Kievs? It must be time for another of Preview Percy's, er, previews. There's also some stuff about the match in there if you look hard enough. Apparently.....''


West Ham United v Stoke City
Friday, 30th August 2013
by Preview Percy
''We've kept Preview Percy busy this week. Well it stops him from going out and breaking all those restraining orders. Here's his look at this weekend's opponents Stoke City......''


West Ham United v Cheltenham Town
Tuesday, 27th August 2013
by Preview Percy
''It's League Cup time. Normally we'd bring in one of our fringe previewers to do the match preview. Only we haven't got any. So here's Preview Percy with his usual nonsense.....''


Newcastle United v West Ham United
Friday, 23rd August 2013
by Preview Percy
''It's Friday which can mean only one thing. But before that Preview Percy takes a look at this weekend's opponents. You might want to give it a bit of a swerve if you're Joe Kinnear. Or even if you're not......''


West Ham United v Cardiff City
Friday, 16th August 2013
by Preview Percy
''Like the club's search for a new striker, our search for someone less annoying to do our match previews has proved to be somewhat frustrating. So, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back, if you must, our very own Preview Percy.......''


West Ham United v Reading
Saturday, 18th May 2013
by Preview Percy
''And so we arrive at the last game of the season a 4pm kick-off on Sunday where we will be saying a last farewell to Reading...''


Everton v West Ham United
Friday, 10th May 2013
by Preview Percy
''And as the season draws slowly to a close we find ourselves heading for our final away match where Everton will be our hosts for a 3pm kick off on Saturday, er Sunday, probably. Excellent...''


West Ham United v Newcastle United
Friday, 3rd May 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next we play host to Newcastle United in what will be a 3pm kick off on Saturday. Praise the good lord or something...''


Manchester City v West Ham United
Friday, 26th April 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have our second match against FA Cup Finalists in as many weeks as we visit the North West where our hosts will be Manchester City...''


West Ham United v Wigan Athletic
Friday, 19th April 2013
by Preview Percy
''Blimey they’re keeping me busy this week. It’s two games in four days as we entertain Wigan Athletic in a traditional 3pm kick off at the Boleyn. Lovely...''


West Ham United v Manchester United
Tuesday, 16th April 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next we play host to Manchester United this Wednesday evening. Kick-off is the standard 7.45pm and, with it not being the weekend, there’ll be no engineering works to contend with. Just the usual machinations of rush hour on the tube network...''


Southampton v West Ham United
Friday, 12th April 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next we return to the sacred and holy time of 3pm on a Saturday where we are on the road once more down the M3 or, if you prefer, the London & South Western Railway (they're still going right?) to visit Southampton at St Mary’s. ..''


Liverpool v West Ham United
Friday, 5th April 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we pay a visit to Anfield where Liverpool will be our hosts. Kick-off is 1.30pm on Sunday which means we’ll be playing our second match in little over a week. Blimey. What will they think of next? ..''


West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion
Friday, 29th March 2013
by Preview Percy
''After what seems to have been an interminable length of time, at last we have another match. This weekend we will entertain the good people of West Bromwich Albion at the Boleyn in a match that will kick-off at 3.00pm on Saturday. Hurrah. ..''


Chelsea v West Ham United
Saturday, 16th March 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we visit Stamford Bridge where our hosts will be Chelsea. ..''


Stoke City v West Ham United
Friday, 1st March 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next it’s up the M1 and whichever of the versions of the M6 you prefer to the Potteries where our hosts will be Stoke City. Kick-off is the traditional 3.00pm at the Britannia Stadium. ..''


West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur
Sunday, 24th February 2013
by Preview Percy
''Hello are you still here? It’s so long since I had to write one of these Arsenal may have still been in with a chance of a trophy. Well perhaps not that long ago but it’s still been an age...''


Aston Villa v West Ham United
Friday, 8th February 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we go up the M1, M6 and down the A38(M) to Villa Park where our hosts will be Aston Villa. ..''


West Ham United v Swansea City
Friday, 1st February 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we return to the green green grass of home where we play hosts to Swansea City. Kick-off is at the right-thinking person’s preferred time of 3pm on Saturday. ..''


Fulham v West Ham United
Wednesday, 30th January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has had a few computer problems of late. It's all working now though. Unfortunately.....''


Arsenal v West Ham United
Wednesday, 23rd January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Is it Boxing Day already? Next up we visit the Emirates (sadly the stadium rather than the much warmer country) where our hosts for the match postponed from yuletide will be Arsenal in a 7.45pm kick-off. ..''


West Ham United v Queens Park Rangers
Saturday, 19th January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we entertain – weather permitting – Queens Park Rangers. Kick-off is 3pm and, whilst there are no engineering works planned for our bit of the District line, no doubt should one snowflake fall within 20 miles of the Boleyn the Tubes will go up the Swanee and chaos will abound. ..''


Manchester Utd v West Ham Utd
Wednesday, 16th January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next we go to Salford where we will be hosted by Salford Whingers FC for the FA Cup . Kick off is 8.05pm, the extra five minutes allowing the TV people to shoehorn another bloody car insurance ad in...''


Sunderland v West Ham United
Saturday, 12th January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up it’s the long trek up the various bits of road that constitute the A1 & A1 (M) to the daftly-named Stadium of Light where we will be hosted by Sunderland for a 3pm kick-off on Saturday. Hint: if it feels warm, sunny and just about everyone is wearing shorts and talking Portuguese, you may have programmed the wrong Stadium of Light into the satnav. Easily done...''


West Ham United v Manchester United
Saturday, 5th January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next up we play host to Manchester United in the third round of the FA Cup. ..''


West Ham United v Norwich
Tuesday, 1st January 2013
by Preview Percy
''Next we play host to Norwich City for the first match at the Boleyn of 2013. Tubes have a reduced service, trains sort of depend on the company, with the exception of London Midland who won’t have enough staff to operate whatever level of service they want to advertise anyway. Check before you leave. ..''


Reading v West Ham United
Saturday, 29th December 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next up is a trip to Reading for a 3pm kick-off. There’s been a few hassles on the main line out of Paddington of late. At time of writing “normal service has been resumed” – which could mean anything. Check, as ever, before leaving...''


West Ham United v Everton
Friday, 21st December 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have Everton who visit the Boleyn for a 3pm kick-off on Saturday. Unless of course certain predictions in the Mayan calendar turn out to be true. In which case kick-off might be delayed a bit. TfL have declared a Christmas truce on engineering works on the tube so apart from a few bits of the DLR here and there your journey by tube should be plain sailing...''


West Bromwich Albion v West Ham United
Saturday, 15th December 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we visit The Hawthorns, home of West Bromwich Albion for a 4pm kick-off on Sunday. I can’t see any engineering work is due to take place on any of the normal routes up there but as ever check before you travel...''


West Ham United v Liverpool
Saturday, 8th December 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we play host to Liverpool FC on Sunday when kick-off at the Boleyn is 4pm to accommodate the needs of digital satellite broadcasting type stuff. ..''


West Ham Utd v Chelsea
Saturday, 1st December 2012
by Preview Percy
''Our next match sees the visit of Chelsea for a match that kicks off at the duvet-bothering time of 12.45pm, the match being covered by the beamy signal into space and back people. TfL have messed up again by forgetting to dig up the District Line and even the local proper trains seem to be behaving themselves this weekend...''


Manchester Utd v West Ham Utd
Wednesday, 28th November 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next up is Manchester (United) away at Old Trafford. Kick-off is 8pm on Wednesday night, though if the weather causes delays on the Exeter by-pass expect the start to be delayed to give the home support to arrive. ..''


Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United
Friday, 23rd November 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we visit the less fortunate part of London where shellsuits and dandruff are still de rigeur amongst the home support as we pay a visit to White Hart Lane. ..''


West Ham United v Stoke City
Sunday, 18th November 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we play host to Stoke City on Monday night. Kick-off for the benefit of space telly is 8pm, meaning the phrase “don’t wait up luv” is one that will be used quite a lot I imagine. As it’s a Monday we’ll be spared the spectre of the usual weekend engineering works, though rush-hour travel on the tubes is painful enough as it is...''


Newcastle United v West Ham United
Sunday, 11th November 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we make the looooong trek north to Newcastle Upon Tyne for a match moved to Sunday due to the Magpies’ involvement in the poisoned chalice that is the Europa League. Kick-off is at 3pm and those of you who are staying up there on the Saturday night (or arriving early enough on the Sunday) might care to pay a visit to Eldon Square in the city centre where the people of Newcastle will be gathering from 10.30am to commemorate Remembrance Sunday...''


West Ham United v Manchester City
Friday, 2nd November 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next up we entertain the current champions as Manchester City are the visitors to the Boleyn. ..''


Wigan Athletic v West Ham United
Saturday, 27th October 2012
by Preview Percy
''I am told that this is the most read preview column for miles around. Or one of them. Maybe. Every week I put in hours of research. Ok minutes of research. Probably. And all for the occasional packet of Werthers’ Originals which, I might add, are usually past their sell-by date having come from Ken Tucker’s sweetshop. So what happens? The editor gets his smiling mug in the matchday programme and there’s even a mention for his gormless short-arse side-kick. ..''


West Ham United v Southampton
Friday, 19th October 2012
by Preview Percy
''Our next fixture is a home match against Southampton who will be making the trek up the M3 for a 3pm kick-off at the Boleyn. ..''


West Ham United v Arsenal
Saturday, 6th October 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we return to the Boleyn where we play host to Arsenal. Kick-off is a television-inspired 5.30pm...''


Queens Park Rangers v West Ham United
Monday, 1st October 2012
by Preview Percy
''We next return to league action on Monday (1 October already!) against Queen’s Park Rangers at Rangers Stadium or, if you prefer, Loftus Road. Kick-off is at 8 and it’s on space telly should you not be one of the lucky 1,800 to have been granted tickets...''


West Ham United v Wigan Athletic
Tuesday, 25th September 2012
by Preview Percy
''The home matches come thick and fast (well two in four days anyway) as we return to action in the League Cup where our third round opponents will be Wigan Athletic. ..''


West Ham United v Sunderland
Friday, 21st September 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy wishes it to be known that he had nothing to do with certain photographs being circulated about the web at the moment. His photographs are much less blurry and for his private enjoyment only. In between getting the long lens out he found time to have a quick shufti at this weekend’s visit of Sunderland. Stats, as usual, from John Northcutt will be along in a mo......''


Norwich City v West Ham United
Friday, 14th September 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next up we pay a visit to Norfolk where our hosts will be Norwich City. It’s the third silly o’clock kick-off in a row, starting as it does at 12.45pm...''


West Ham United v Fulham
Friday, 31st August 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy hates transfer windows. The constant stream of comings and goings means we keep returning his copy for updating. Last season his nurse told us off for giving him palpitations by telling him that Martin Peters had gone. We still haven’t dared to risk telling him that it was Spurs that Peters went to. Here’s the mad one’s look at Saturday’s visit of Fulham to the Boleyn. Historical background to the fixture supplied by the ever-reliable John Northcutt... ..''


West Ham United v Crewe Alexandra
Tuesday, 28th August 2012
by Preview Percy
''Every year the inmates at the Avram Grant Rest Home for The Bewildered have an August Bank Holiday Beano to the seaside. This year they went to Clacton...''


Swansea v West Ham United
Friday, 24th August 2012
by Preview Percy
''We were going to ask Preview Percy to hold off writing this week's copy until the Matt Jarvis deal was done. However, when we arrived at the Avram Grant Rest Home for the Bewildered we were greeted by a dishevelled looking nurse who told us he was having his afternoon nap. We're not sure that was a real nurse's uniform you know. Here's what the old fool wrote before nodding off. Statistics from John Northcutt as ever.....''


West Ham United v Aston Villa
Friday, 17th August 2012
by Preview Percy
''It’s a new season and that can mean only one thing. Ten more months of visits to the Marco Boogers wing of the Avram Grant Rest Home For The Bewildered to pick up the usual mad ramblings of Preview Percy, a prospect we find about as appealing as the idea of being forced to sit and watch the Olympic Closing Ceremony again. ..''


West Ham United v Blackpool: Championship play-off Final
Friday, 18th May 2012
by Preview Percy
''And so, for the last time this season, we visit the Avram Grant Rest Home For The Bewildered as we are proud* to present Preview Percy’s Wembley Special**. As ever John Northcutt adds his statistical magic to proceedings.....''


West Ham United v Cardiff City: play-off semi final, second leg
Sunday, 6th May 2012
by Preview Percy
''When we went round to pick up Preview Percy's latest ramblings we found him fast forwarding and rewinding footage of Liverpool picking up their FA Cup losers' medals and laughing uncontrollably. When he showed us Gerrard's face we had to admit it was quite funny. Eventually we managed to interrupt his giggling to grab a copy of his latest set of musings. John Northcutt, as ever, pops in with the history.....''


Cardiff City v West Ham Utd: play-off semi final, first leg
Thursday, 3rd May 2012
by Preview Percy
''We inserted a clause into Preview Percy’s preview-writing contract entitling us to make him write stuff for the play-offs without us having to pay him any more. Not that we paid him anyway, unless you count the past their sell by date bags of Werthers Originals that we bring him. When we can be bothered...''


West Ham United v Hull City
Friday, 27th April 2012
by Preview Percy
''And so the regular season comes to a close. Let’s pray for automatic promotion or we’ll have to put up with at least another two – hopefully three – more previews from the quill of Preview Percy. Surely, nobody wants that. John Northcutt and his stats are always more welcome hereabouts though…....''


Leicester City v West Ham Utd
Monday, 23rd April 2012
by Preview Percy
''With the playoffs looking a strong likelihood we stopped and considered the pluses and minuses should the season go into overtime. On the plus side there is, if all goes well, the possibility of a trip to Wembley. On the minus side it means that, should we go all the way, we’ll have to pick up three more offerings from Preview Percy. Here’s his latest set of ramblings. Stats, as ever, from John Northcutt.....''


Bristol City v West Ham Utd
Tuesday, 17th April 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next up we tiptoe carefully over the Hammersmith Flyover (lest it crumble beneath our feet) and on to the M4 for our visit to Ashton Gate, home of Bristol City. Kick-off is 7.45pm. ..''


West Ham Utd v Brighton & Hove Albion
Friday, 13th April 2012
by Preview Percy
''With all the fuss about the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic everywhere you look, Preview Percy would just like to deny that he was actually on board that night. Anyone that was seen barging their way past women and children en route to the lifeboats just happened to look a bit like him, ok? Here’s the wizened one’s look at this weekend’s visit of Brighton & Hove Albion with statistical input as ever from John Northcutt.....''


West Ham Utd v Birmingham City
Monday, 9th April 2012
by Preview Percy
''It's Preview Percy's birthday this weekend. In honour of the event, Matron at the Avram Grant Rest Home For The Bewildered took all the residents to the pub. Except Percy of course. They successfully managed to sneak out while he wasn't looking. So while he had the place to himself he wrote the following. Unfortunately. John Northcutt, as ever, supplies the historical stuff.....''


Barnsley v West Ham United
Friday, 6th April 2012
by Preview Percy
''Usually we call around Preview Percy's relatives this time of year to find out whose turn it is to have the old fool over for Easter. However, when we called this time, three of his relatives said they were going abroad, two just hung up and the lawyers acting for the remaining branch of the family simply sent over another copy of the High Court injunction banning him from within 100 miles of their home. So, while he's still stuck at the Avram Grant Rest Home For The Bewildered, we thought we'd keep him busy anyway. We sent someone else over to pick up the manuscript obviously. John Northcutt and his stats follow... ..''


West Ham United v Reading
Friday, 30th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has spent his time in the sunshine this week queuing for petrol. He doesn’t actually own a car - he just wants to lend a hand should riots start up in Croydon again. He’s also panic buying beer in case brewery deliveries are affected by the tanker drivers’ strike. Before he went to the pub he left us this. Or was it after? As usual John Northcutt supplies the history......''


Peterborough United v West Ham United
Monday, 26th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''Recent events have given us an idea. In the wake of the "Cash For Access" scandal we thought we'd try a similar idea with Preview Percy. So, for a fiver we'll introduce you to him. For a tenner, we won't. Here's his updated look at this week's visit to London Road. Historical data as ever from John Northcutt....''


Burnley v West Ham United
Saturday, 24th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''When we went to see Preview Percy this week he was moaning like crazy about the changes in tax allowances for pensioners. The funny thing is that when we asked him if he’d have to pay extra tax he coughed and spluttered a bit and changed the subject. And his room does have some suspiciously recent souvenirs of a recent trip to Monaco. Here’s his look at our visit to Burnley. John Northcutt provides a spot of statistical context… ..''


West Ham United v Middlesbrough
Tuesday, 20th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''Old people. Some age gracefully, moving on in their twilight years with as much dignity as they can muster, trying as hard as they can not to be a burden on the younger generation. They can be a font of knowledge with a wealth of experience gained from a life well-lived over the years...''


Leeds United v West Ham United
Friday, 16th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has been a bit worried this week. After the latest report that suggested red meat was, like, really, really bad for you, steak suddenly appeared on the menu at the Avram Grant Rest Home for the Bewildered for the first time in ages. Strangely, they didn't offer any to any of the other residents though. While we wait for his demise here's his look at Leeds United, in which you'll find the scandalous secret about their ownership that even the BBC weren't able to uncover. John Northcutt brings us back to reality with his stat round-up.....''


West Ham United v Doncaster Rovers
Friday, 9th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''In 1997 Britpoppers Pulp released the single “Help the Aged”. If they'd ever met Preview Percy they probably wouldn't have bothered. Pulp are from Sheffield which is quite near Doncaster who are this weekend's opponents. Which is handy. John Northcutt is the man with the stats.....''


West Ham Utd v Watford
Wednesday, 7th March 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is in the doghouse with the staff of the Avram Grant Rest Home For The Bewildered. You see when he offered to run this month’s coach trip and announced that it would be to Wales, they were hoping for a little more than a four hour stop at Cardiff West Services whilst he and the coach driver disappeared to watch Sunday’s match. Still not all the residents were unhappy – the soggy pasties meant that for once not all the food had to be put through a liquidiser. Meanwhile the old sod has recovered from the twin shocks of winning abroad and the cost of Werthers Originals at Motorway Service Areas in time to string a few words together re the forthcoming visit of Watford. John Northcutt is, as ever, our stat man... ..''


Cardiff City v West Ham Utd
Saturday, 3rd March 2012
by Preview Percy
''After he managed to upset all 350,000 inhabitants of a certain London borough last week we weren't totally sure about letting Preview Percy loose on a whole country. However, since we couldn't find anyone as cheap at short notice to do a Cardiff preview we thought "what the hell, it's only Wales". John Northcutt restores some much-needed sanity with his stat round-up.....''


West Ham United v Crystal Palace
Friday, 24th February 2012
by Preview Percy
''The population of Croydon is 330,587 or thereabouts. In his even more than usually warped look at this weekend's visit of Crystal Palace to the Boleyn, Preview Percy does his best to upset each and every one of them. Please direct all complaints direct to Percy c/o the Avram Grant Rest Home For The Bewildered. Sensible stuff on the stat front as ever from John Northcutt ..''


Blackpool v West Ham United
Tuesday, 21st February 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy hasn't been to Blackpool in years. He sort of went off the place after the incident with the guest house landlady, the "kiss me quick" hat and a plate of whelks, one of which was off. Despite this he's found the time to pen a few words about this week's match. Unfortunately. Stats as ever from John Northcutt.......''


West Ham United v Southampton
Tuesday, 14th February 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy spent some of his childhood not all that far from Southampton having been evacuated to Hampshire. There wasn't a war on or anything, his parents just didn't like him. Here's his look at the Valentine's Day meeting of the two sides. Statistical input from John Northcutt..''


Peterborough United v West Ham United
Friday, 10th February 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is rather regretting spending that winter fuel payment he got just before Christmas in the pub. He's having to make do by burning all those documents that nice Mr Redknapp brought round for his fire last week. There's enough there to keep him going for a few years. In the meantime here's his look at this weekend's visit to Peterborough. Stats courtesy of John Northcutt ..''


West Ham United v Millwall
Friday, 3rd February 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has given him every chance but his patience has finally snapped. Meanwhile, taking a break from writing angry letters to the head of Channel 4 regarding how poor he thinks the new host of "Countdown" is, he dropped us a few lines about this weekend's visit of Millwall. John Northcutt calmly follows with a few items of statistical interest... ..''


Ipswich Town v West Ham United
Monday, 30th January 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy's cough is so loud that the builders working next door to his care home have complained that they can't tell if their pneumatic drills are working properly. In between existing on a diet of Veno's, rum and his usual Werther's Originals he managed to put together a few words about this week's midweek visit to Suffolk. As usual John Northcutt provides the statistical background to the match.... ..''


West Ham United v Nottingham Forest
Friday, 20th January 2012
by Preview Percy
''Next we entertain Nottingham Forest at the Boleyn in a 3pm kick-off this Saturday. Lovely. Tubes? Well the Hammersmith & City is out, which will mean a detour for visitors arriving at St Pancras. The bottom end of the District is also out, though the section serving Upton Park and points East will be open...''


Portsmouth v West Ham United
Friday, 13th January 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is unwell. He's got a temperature higher than Alastair Cook's batting average, he aches all over and he just wants to stay in bed. Did we leave him alone? Did we heck. We poked him with a stick and this is what he came up with. John Northcutt will be along to round things off later.......''


Sheffield Wednesday v West Ham United
Saturday, 7th January 2012
by Preview Percy
''When we said "Happy New Year" to Preview Percy he tried to have us arrested for "threatening behaviour". Here's his take on this weekend's trip to Hillsborough for the FA Cup 3rd round tie against Sheffield Wednesday. The much nicer John Northcutt will be popping by later with the historical background to the match.....''


West Ham United v Coventry City
Monday, 2nd January 2012
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is currently recovering from New Year's Eve. He didn't have too much to drink, it's just that the idea of wishing anyone a 'Happy New Year' made him feel quite unwell. Before he went for a lie down he left us a few words about our opening fixture of 2012. As usual John Northcutt has all the interesting historical stuff for us at the end.........''


Derby County v West Ham United
Friday, 30th December 2011
by Preview Percy
''He's now returned from the unlucky branch of his family that drew the short straw to have him stay over Christmas. By the looks of things he brought their drinks cabinet with him. Internally. So, for the last time this year, we welcome (and we use that word quite wrongly)Preview Percy and his usual weird musings on this weekend's trip to Derby County. Sensible stats courtesy of John Northcutt......''


West Ham United v Barnsley
Friday, 16th December 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is full of his usual festive joy. His recent review of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” for “Grumpy Old Git” magazine read “A story that started well but was completely spoilt by the ending”, whilst his petition to reintroduce the death penalty for carol singers will soon have as many as one signature on it once he’s remembered where he has left his biro. He’s taken time out from shouting “Father Christmas doesn’t exist” at the local kids to write a few words about this week’s visit of Barnsley. As ever John Northcutt will be providing a welcome respite at the end with a fresh air dose of facts and figures......''


Reading v West Ham United
Friday, 9th December 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has spent much of this week taking the mick out of all those people people who recently discovered that their roots were in Manchester all along, though his written request to the football authorities that a minutes' uncontrollable laughter be observed before all matches this weekend was, for some reason, ignored. Here are his usual warped thoughts on this weekend's trip to Reading. If you hang around for a bit John Northcutt will be along with some real facts.... ..''


West Ham United v Burnley
Friday, 2nd December 2011
by Preview Percy
''With three matches in a week it's not just the players who have been a bit busy. Preview Percy has been slaving over a hot something or other to give us his view on this weekend's match against Burnley. On the bright side, at this time of year if we keep him occupied at least he won't be shouting at carol singers. Meanwhile, John Northcutt takes a look at some of the history between the clubs..... ..''


Middlesbrough v West Ham United
Monday, 28th November 2011
by Preview Percy
''We've finally thought of a way to get rid of Preview Percy. After his last effort in which he predicted the Derby result, named their scorer as "danger man" and threw in a Bristol City victory over Southampton for good measure, we reported him for witchcraft. Unfortunately the council told us that they didn't have a department that issued permits for burning people at the stake. When we asked exactly what we pay our council tax for they hung up. Unbelievable. Here's Percy's look at Tuesday night's visit to the North East, with added history from John Northcutt to arrive by carrier pigeon shortly. ..''


West Ham United v Derby County
Friday, 25th November 2011
by Preview Percy
''We're not saying Preview Percy is old but he does keep moaning about those 'reckless youngsters' on "Last of the Summer Wine". Before he disappeared down to the bookies with his Winter Fuel payment he took a look at this week's match against Derby County and sent us his thoughts. We didn't see why we should be the only ones to suffer.... ..''


Coventry City v West Ham United
Friday, 18th November 2011
by Preview Percy
''The international break is over, which means Preview Percy is back. Sorry. John Northcutt will be along later with some sensible stats... ..''


Hull City v West Ham United
Friday, 4th November 2011
by Preview Percy
''When we popped over to see Preview Percy he was in the gardens of his rest home putting the finishing touches to an effigy of Mike Dean to throw on a bonfire. The strange thing is he didn't actually realise it was Guy Fawkes' Night this weekend. Here's the mad one's look at this weekend's visit to Hull City. As ever John Northcutt pops in at the end with some statistics... ..''


West Ham United v Bristol City
Monday, 31st October 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy was looking forward to Halloween. Then we ruined it for him by telling him that the use of mantraps and anti-personnel mines is illegal in this country. Here's the old sod's look at Tuesday night's match against Bristol City. John Northcutt Supplies the stats as usual... ..''


West Ham Utd v Leicester City
Friday, 28th October 2011
by Preview Percy
''We had to drag Preview Percy out of the pub to rewrite this following Leicester’s change in management this week. ..''


Brighton & Hove Albion v West Ham United
Sunday, 23rd October 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is fed up with the change of date for this one. The new date clashes with the night the girl comes round to do his bunions apparently. Meanwhile he's taken time out from laughing at pictures of Ferguson and Terry to have a look at Monday night's visit to Falmer. As usual,John Northcutt takes a a less jaundiced look at the history between the clubs at the end......''


Southampton v West Ham United
Tuesday, 18th October 2011
by Preview Percy
''We're working Preview Percy hard this week. The theory was that if we asked him to write two columns in four days he'd finally take the hint and get lost. Oh well, at least the nurses in his rest home will get a few hours off from being chased all over the place as he takes his usual slightly warped look at Tuesday's visit to Southampton. We're just surprised he's realised that they've moved from the Dell. As usual, John Northcutt supplies a welcome burst of statistical sanity at the end. Or at least he will do once one or two technical glitches are sorted out here at Kumb Towers... ..''


West Ham United v Blackpool
Friday, 14th October 2011
by Preview Percy
''The only good thing about an international break is the fact that it gives us a week off from Preview Percy. Trouble is when club football returns, so does he. The shenanigans of the England football, rugby and cricket teams means that he’s even grumpier than usual – and trust us that takes some doing. Here’s his take on this weekend’s visit of Blackpool.....''


Crystal Palace v West Ham United
Friday, 30th September 2011
by Preview Percy
''It's been a miserable few days for Preview Percy just as it has been for the rest of us. Only he just likes to grumble about it a bit more. Here's his usual warped view of this weekend's trip to Selhurst Park. Those of you who live in Croydon might like to skip to John Northcutt's infinitely more useful section at the end..... ..''


West Ham United v Ipswich Town
Monday, 26th September 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is back and, since Mavis The Tea lady discovered that the overtime she put in over last week's preview was unpaid, we're lumbered with his ramblings once more. As usual there's more sensible stuff from the much better informed John Northcutt at the end so you might want to skip through to that. We did.... ..''


West Ham United v Peterborough
Thursday, 22nd September 2011
by Preview Percy
''Sadly, Preview Percy is away once again this week - something to do with an all-expenses-paid weekend of outrageous decadence in Bridlington. On the bright side, the office has lost that lingering 'damp' smell that curiously manifested itself during the old boy's presence - and the tea lady is delighted at the hour's overtime she's getting for writing this week's match preview.....''


Millwall v West Ham United
Thursday, 15th September 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is actually away on a Saga Cruise on the SS Marco Boogers which is currently touring somewhere where he’ll complain about the food, water, tea, heat and anything else he can think of while he’s not chasing after rich widows. Which is exactly what he’s like when he’s at home really...''


West Ham United v Portsmouth
Friday, 9th September 2011
by Preview Percy
''Now that the schools have gone back, the police are baffled as to why the levels of anti-social behaviour have actually increased in the vicinity of a certain care home. We're not ones to point the finger but surely the fact that Preview Percy is back from the international break cannot be wholly coincidental. Meanwhile here's the old sod's ramblings on this weekend's match against Portsmouth.... ..''


Nottingham Forest v West Ham United
Friday, 26th August 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has spent the last few days banging his head against the wall muttering "It's Mansfield 1969 all over again". So it's been business as usual then for the doddery old twit, who just had time to prepare this look at Sunday's match at the City Ground before he was carted away for his therapy session..''


West Ham United v Aldershot Town (Take Two)
Tuesday, 23rd August 2011
by Preview Percy
''When we popped in to pick up Preview Percy's latest offering we were greeted by a young lady who told us he was busy having treatment for his rheumatism. The funny thing is we're pretty sure that he doesn't have rheumatism. We're also pretty sure that wasn't a proper nurse's uniform either. Anyway he did leave the following scribbled on the back of an old betting slip......''


West Ham United v Leeds United
Friday, 19th August 2011
by Preview Percy
''We're not saying that Preview Percy went looting during the recent disturbances, but when we went to visit him this week there were a lot of suspiciously new tartan blankets scattered around the rest home for the bewildered where he spends his time when the pubs aren't open. Here the grumpy one takes time out from moaning about how easy 'A' levels have become to take a look at this weekend's visit of Leeds United.... ..''


Watford v West Ham United
Monday, 15th August 2011
by Preview Percy
''When we visited Preview Percy this week he had a smile on his face for once. We thought it was because we'd won away from home but it turned out that his dentures were playing up again. Here the miserable old buffer takes a look at this week's visit to Vicarage Road.... ..''


Doncaster Rovers v West Ham United
Friday, 12th August 2011
by Preview Percy
''As you can imagine, being an elder statesman Preview Percy had more than a few things to say about the recent outbreaks of civil disorder. Thankfully we had to go before he could tell us any of them. Here's what he had to say about this weekend's visit to Doncaster Rovers before we made our excuses and left... ..''


West Ham United v Aldershot Town
Monday, 8th August 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is the sort of person who writes letters to the BBC about the programme “Grumpy Old Men” on the grounds that the participants are too cheerful. So you can imagine his reaction when we turned up at his rest home and told him that relegation would mean taking part in the first round of the League Cup and would he mind awfully writing another preview even though he’d only just finished the last one. Here’s his look at this week’s match against Aldershot Town.......''


West Ham United v Cardiff City
Friday, 5th August 2011
by Preview Percy
''We turned up at Preview Percy’s rest home in the hope that it was one of those that had been sold off during the close season and the occupants moved on without leaving a forwarding address. Unfortunately for you he’s still there and he’s still as barking as ever. Still, at a cost of a packet of Werther’s Originals a week it’s cheaper than paying someone to do a proper preview. Just. This week the old so and so takes a look at our opening match of the season against Cardiff City.......''


West Ham United V Sunderland - Match Preview
Friday, 20th May 2011
by Preview Percy
''It's been a long tiring season for all of us. None more so than Preview Percy but there again he was old and knackered at the start of it all anyway. Before we say goodnight to the old so and so and pack him and his tartan blanket off to Eastbourne for the summer here's his last effort of the season......''


Wigan Athletic v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 13th May 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has had a fun week. We’d love to tell you all about it but the members of the girl group and the person who supplied the equipment involved have all clubbed together to get a super-injunction so we’ll never know the real truth behind the smile on his face. Or how he found the energy to come up with this, his penultimate preview of the season..... ..''


West Ham United v Blackburn Rovers: Match Preview
Friday, 6th May 2011
by Preview Percy
''He's been away with the Derby & Joan club - whic came as a surprise to them since they kicked him out years ago. He is Preview Percy and here's his take on this weekend's match......''


Chelsea v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 22nd April 2011
by Preview Percy
''As an older gentleman Preview Percy was pleased to see a brass band at the Boleyn last weekend. That's about all he enjoyed though. He's equally grumpy about our chances this weekend. He probably thinks that this weather won't last either.......''


West Ham United v Aston Villa - Match Preview
Friday, 15th April 2011
by Preview Percy
''He was away last week at a birthday celebration - apparently some of his jokes are now nearly 100 years old. And so is he. He is Preview Percy. Sorry no refunds.......''


West Ham United v Manchester United - Match Preview
Friday, 1st April 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has taken time out from moaning about the cut in his winter fuel payments to give us his usual warped view of this weekend's opponents..... ..''


Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United: match preview
Friday, 18th March 2011
by Preview Percy
''He's grumpy at the best of times so you can imagine how bad Preview Percy has been all week after last weekend's shambles. Our man in the tartan blanket takes time out from giving the Meals On Wheels people a hard time to take a look at this weekend's visit to N17..... ..''


Stoke City v West Ham United: match preview
Saturday, 12th March 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy got very confused when he was told we were playing Stoke again this week. Actually he seems to be confused most of the time. With a possible trip to Wembley in the offing just don't tell him the twin towers have gone.......''


West Ham Utd v Stoke City: match preview
Friday, 4th March 2011
by Preview Percy
''The old fool managed to upset some Liverpool supporters last week. So Preview Percy must be doing something right. Damned if we can spot it though. *warning - the following may contain Latin*.. ..''


West Ham Utd v Liverpool: match preview
Saturday, 26th February 2011
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy's taken time out from giving the staff at his old folk's home a hard time over the lack of Werther's Originals to pen a few words about this weekend's fixture against Liverpool......''


West Ham Utd v Burnley: match preview
Sunday, 20th February 2011
by Preview Percy
''We've had a few emails regarding the whereabouts of Preview Percy. We can reveal only that the old fool has been resting up this winter in a nursing home for the elderly and bewildered. We didn't tell the taxman or the Child Support Agency which one though......''


West Ham United v Barnsley - Match Preview
Saturday, 8th January 2011
by Preview Percy
''A 5-0 drubbing at Newcastle but is Preview Percy depressed? Well yes, he is. However he decided that he's suffered enough this week so now it's your turn... ..''


Newcastle United v West Ham United
Tuesday, 4th January 2011
by Preview Percy
''Petrol's up, VAT is up and train fares are up. The start of 2011 is full of gloom and doom. And just when you think the start of the year couldn't get any worse, here's Preview Percy to prove you wrong. Very wrong..... ..''


West Ham United v Wolverhampton Wanderers
Friday, 31st December 2010
by Preview Percy
''Another Christmas has passed and yet again Santa forgot to bring Preview Percy a Scalextric. So he's taking it out on us........''


Blackburn Rovers v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 17th December 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has spent the week dodging the fat ugly bird with the mistletoe and stepping over frozen pools of vomit deposited on the pavement by once a year drinkers just to bring you this look at this weekend's trip to Ewood Park. We wish he hadn't but there it is......''


West Ham United v Manchester City - Match Preview
Friday, 10th December 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy so dull that even Wikileaks doesn't mention him............''


Sunderland v West Ham United - Match Preview
Saturday, 4th December 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy was supposed to be going up to the North East this weekend but the weather stopped him from travelling. This meant he had time to do a match preview. There's never a council gritter about when you need one is there.......''


West Ham United v Wigan Athletic - Match Preview
Friday, 26th November 2010
by Preview Percy
''Tube workers and even Scottish referees are going on strike this weekend. Sadly Preview Percy hasn't joined in with the winter of discontent. We live in hope but in the meantime......''


Liverpool v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 19th November 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy was a bit under the weather last week. We told him to "take as long as it takes" to get better. Unfortunately it only took a week.... ..''


West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion - Match Preview.
Tuesday, 9th November 2010
by Preview Percy
''The Large Hadron Collider has finally produced a result for all those billions - a rather pretty picture a schoolkid with some coloured biros could have produced. Undeterred, we slammed some rather larger particles (ok, a plank of wood) into the back of Preview Percy's head. The results, though cheaper, are just as disappointing.... ..''


Birmingham City v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 5th November 2010
by Preview Percy
''BBC journalists have been out on strike today. We were hoping that Preview Percy was going to join them even though he doesn't work for the BBC. We were disappointed. Again...... ..''


Arsenal v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 29th October 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has only just got home from Wednesday night's extra-time win over Stoke. Unfortunately, he had his laptop with him so here's his look at this weekend's visit to Arsenal.... ..''


West Ham United v Stoke City - Match Preview
Tuesday, 26th October 2010
by Preview Percy
''Paul The Psychic Octopus is sadly no longer with us. Preview Percy is in rude health however, despite the fact that we've stuck him in a fish tank. (Nothing to do with predictions - we just don't like him much). Here's his look at this week's League Cup match against the Potters...... ..''


West Ham United v Newcastle United: Match Preview
Thursday, 21st October 2010
by Preview Percy
''"If you pay peanuts you get monkeys" or so the saying goes. We're saving up for a bag of Percy Dalton's. Until then, Preview Percy writes our match previews. Here's his take on this weekend's visit from Newcastle United... ..''


Wolverhampton Wanderers v West Ham United - Match Preview
Thursday, 14th October 2010
by Preview Percy
''We asked the Chilean authorities if they had any plans for the hole now all the miners are free. Unfortunately, as soon as we mentioned Preview Percy they hung up. Here's his take on this weekend's trip to the Midlands.........''


West Ham United v Fulham - Match Preview
Thursday, 30th September 2010
by Preview Percy
''Look at it this way: if Preview Percy wasn't at home writing this stuff he'd be out on the streets mingling with members of the public. We figure that this is the lesser of two evils......''


West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur - Match Preview
Thursday, 23rd September 2010
by Preview Percy
''The nation is in turmoil - apparently lardy breakfast DJ Chris Moyles hasn't been paid for two months. Preview Percy isn't quite as lardy but we haven't paid him either. Ever. Like the BBC we get what we pay for.......''


Sunderland v West Ham United - Match Preview
Monday, 20th September 2010
by Preview Percy
''This match rather crept up on us, to be honest, what with our current league position keeping us awake at night. Preview Percy remembered it though. Unfortunately...''


Stoke City v West Ham United
Thursday, 16th September 2010
by Preview Percy
''Top Gear has "The Stig". We have Preview Percy. I wonder if Clarkson would entertain a swap deal.... ..''


West Ham United v Chelsea - Match Preview
Thursday, 9th September 2010
by Preview Percy
''The transfer deadline has been and gone but our attempts to send Preview Percy out on loan to FC Chernobyl fell through when we couldn't get anyone to pay the air fare. Or the bus fare. Or the postage. So here he is again. Unfortunately........''


Manchester United v West Ham United - Match Preview
Thursday, 26th August 2010
by Preview Percy
''We were hoping that the torrential rain we've had over the past few days might prevent Preview Percy from coming in to deliver his match preview. Unfortunately, he owns a pair of wellies.......''


West Ham United v Oxford United - Match Preview
Tuesday, 24th August 2010
by Preview Percy
''If you take an infinite number of monkeys and give them word processors it is said that eventually they will produce one of the classics. Unfortunately we couldn't afford the monkeys so here's Preview Percy to run his eye past our League Cup opponents Oxford United......''


West Ham United v Bolton Wanderers - Match Preview
Friday, 20th August 2010
by Preview Percy
''We thought we'd got shot of him but unfortunately he was only on holiday. If we'd known he was coming back we'd have moved. He is Preview Percy and the clue is in the name..........''


West Ham United v Manchester City: Match Preview
Friday, 7th May 2010
by Preview Percy
''In his (thankfully) final effort of the season Preview Percy has a pop at African football administrators, the manager of the year selection process, Piers Morgan and, of course, Lord Griffiths. He also mentions Man City. A bit. Applications for the post of match preview writer should be sent to the editor......''


Fulham v West Ham United: Match Preview
Friday, 30th April 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy's just stopped laughing at Liverpool's midweek result. Unfortunately that means that he had time to write the following. Only one more to go......''


West Ham United v Wigan Athletic: Match Preview
Thursday, 22nd April 2010
by Preview Percy
''Don't worry, after this there's only two more of Preview Percy's outpourings to endure.........''


Liverpool v West Ham United: Match Preview
Saturday, 17th April 2010
by Preview Percy
''We blew up a volcano in an attempt to stop him. Unfortunately the resulting cloud of ash failed to delay the buses so Preview Percy's back again and, gawd 'elp us, this time he's quoting T S Eliot.... ..''


West Ham United v Sunderland - Match Preview
Friday, 9th April 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy's here again, with possibly the only match preview you will read that contains the word "maelstrom". (There may be other long words in there as well but we lost the will to live at that point and sneaked off to the pub before he could find out where we were going.....) ..''


Everton v West Ham United
Friday, 2nd April 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has been missing of late due to "technical problems" with his PC. Unfortunately, he found where we hid his keyboard, so he's back...........''


Chelsea v West Ham United: match preview
Friday, 12th March 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has an IQ that is actually greater than Frank Lampard's. However, like Lampard he hides it well.......''


West Ham United v Bolton Wanderers: Match Preview
Thursday, 4th March 2010
by Preview Percy
''Inspired by the Prime Minister (allegedly), we thought we'd bully Preview Percy into going away. Unfortunately he hit us back and gave us a Chinese burn before submitting the following: ..''


Manchester United v West Ham United: Match Preview
Monday, 22nd February 2010
by Preview Percy
''We were hoping that he might have forgotten that there was a midweek match on. Unfortunately somebody reminded him. Preview Percy takes a look at our forthcoming trip to Old Trafford.......''


West Ham United v Hull City: Match Preview
Friday, 19th February 2010
by Preview Percy
''We threatened him with a 25% pay cut if he didn't go away. Unfortunately, since we don't pay him anything in the first place, he turned up anyway. Preview Percy casts his eye over this weekend's match.... ..''


West Ham United v Birmingham City: Match Preview
Monday, 8th February 2010
by Preview Percy
''He claims not to have slept with Wayne Bridge's girlfriend. Ever. He is Preview Percy and this is his look at this Wednesday's match against Birmingham....... ..''


Burnley v West Ham United: Match Preview
Thursday, 4th February 2010
by Preview Percy
''Nigel Quashie may have gone for free but we'd have had to pay someone to take Preview Percy away. So, sadly, he's still here until the next window opens.......''


West Ham United v Blackburn Rovers: Match Preview
Friday, 29th January 2010
by Preview Percy
''We asked a number of highly respected football writers to give us their views on this weekend's match. The fact that we've got Preview Percy again should tell you how many responded......''


Portsmouth v West Ham United Match Preview
Sunday, 24th January 2010
by Preview Percy
''The club may have new ownership but Preview Percy is still here. Sadly...... ..''


Aston Villa v West Ham United - Match Preview
Friday, 15th January 2010
by Preview Percy
''Due to the recent weather conditions, the Metropolitan Police asked Preview Percy to cancel this week's preview on safety grounds. Unfortunately he ignored them... ..''


Wolverhampton Wanderers Preview
Friday, 8th January 2010
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy took time out from lobbing snowballs at passers-by to take a quick look at Sunday's match against Wolves..''


West Ham United vs Arsenal (FA Cup 3rd Round): Match Preview
Saturday, 2nd January 2010
by Preview Percy
''We gave Preview Percy the option: either write us a match preview or single-handedly finish off all the turkey sarnies left in the kumb fridge. Unfortunately he wasn't hungry........ ..''


West Ham Utd v Portsmouth: match preview
Tuesday, 22nd December 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is still struggling with his rasping cough. However, we told him Santa wouldn't come to his house unless he wrote a few words about Saturday's match against Portsmouth...... ..''


Chelsea Preview
Friday, 18th December 2009
by Preview Percy
''Previw Percy is still struggling with a nasty chest infection. We, however, still don't care. So we forced him to take a look at Sunday's match against Chelsea in between swigs of Veno's...... ..''


Bolton Wanderers Preview
Tuesday, 15th December 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy is unwell. We, however, don't care so we dragged him out of his sickbed to have a look at tonight's match against the Trotters......''


Birmingham City preview
Friday, 11th December 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has a quick look at tomorrow's match at St Andrews.......''


Manchester United Preview
Friday, 4th December 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has a quick butcher's at Saturday's visit of the current Premiership Champions..... ..''


Burnley Preview
Thursday, 26th November 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy takes a gander at this weekend's opponents..... ..''


Hull City Preview
Friday, 20th November 2009
by Preview Percy
''Our correspondent has a look at Saturday's visit to East Yorkshire......''


Everton Preview
Friday, 6th November 2009
by Preview Percy
''It's been a busy week for Preview Percy as he has a look at Sunday's match at home to Everton........''


Aston Villa Preview
Tuesday, 3rd November 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy recovers from his trip to Wearside with a few words about Wednesday's visit from Aston Villa.......''


Sunderland Preview
Friday, 30th October 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Pecy took time out from packing for the long trek North to have a look at this weekend's opponents.... ..''


Arsenal Preview
Friday, 23rd October 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy has a butcher's at Sunday's match against Arsenal.......''


Stoke City Preview
Thursday, 15th October 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy takes a look at Saturday's match.......''


Fulham Preview
Friday, 2nd October 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy takes a look at Sunday's match......''


Manchester City preview
Saturday, 26th September 2009
by Preview Percy
''Preview Percy takes an "alternative" look at our next opponents.....''


West Ham Utd v Liverpool: match preview
Friday, 18th September 2009
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have a visit from the red half of Merseyside...''


Blackburn Rovers Preview
Thursday, 27th August 2009
by Preview Percy
''After a week of playing in other clubs’ cup finals we schlep up the Ms 1 & 6 to Ewood Park for a 3.00pm kick-off against Blackburn Rovers. ..''


Millwall Preview
Monday, 24th August 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so to a second London derby in three days. This one is of course in the Carling Cup and the draw must have had the Met simultaneously jumping for joy (at the thought of all that overtime) and groaning in disbelief (at the thought that they would, for once, actually have to do some work for once to earn it)...''


Tottenham Hotspur preview
Thursday, 20th August 2009
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have an early London derby against Spurs. Of course it’s all too easy to laugh at Spurs fans and their obsession with the size of their club. Which is why we’ll carry on doing so...''


Wolverhampton Wanderers Preview
Thursday, 13th August 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so to the opening of another season which, sadly has arrived a week too late to distract us from the depressing capitulation of the England cricket side at Headingley..''


Boro' Preview
Friday, 22nd May 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so another season closes and this time round it’s home to Boro for a Sunday 4pm kick-off in a match to be covered by the ailing Setanta channel...''


Everton Preview
Friday, 15th May 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so to Goodison for the last road trip of the season for a traditional 3pm kick-off. ..''


Liverpool Preview
Thursday, 7th May 2009
by Preview Percy
''Liverpool at home next for a 5.30 kick-off to be covered by the ailing Setanta channel whose match range in future seasons has been cut right back. This is a worrying state of affairs for those of us who actually subscribe to the channel as it’s hard enough to cancel a subscription when the company actually exists. You just know that if they actually go under they’ll still somehow manage to collect £13 a month from beyond the grave. ..''


Stoke City v West Ham Utd
Friday, 1st May 2009
by Preview Percy
''Stoke next, up at the Britannia Stadium for a 3pm kick off. ..''


Tottenham v West Ham Utd
Friday, 10th April 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so to Spurs at White Hart Lane for a match that appears to have escaped the notice of the TV companies and the Metropolitan Police giving us a 3pm Saturday kick-off...''


West Ham Utd v Sunderland
Friday, 3rd April 2009
by Preview Percy
''After a break for international stuff we next entertain Sunderland in one of those Saturday 3pm kick-offs that we all know and love .The Mackems venture on the long journey south a few places and a mere two points above the trapdoor of doom. ..''


Blackburn Rovers v West Ham Utd
Wednesday, 18th March 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so we schlep up the M6 to Ewood Park for a 3pm kick-off against Blackburn Rovers...''


West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion
Sunday, 15th March 2009
by Preview Percy
''We next entertain West Bromwich Albion in a 8pm Monday kick-off. The two teams last met in September when Kevin Keen was in charge for his one game as caretaker manager immediately prior to the arrival of Gianfranco Zola to the hot seat. ..''


Wigan Athletic v West Ham Utd
Tuesday, 3rd March 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so to Wigan for a 7.45pm kick off against one of the least likeable Chairman/Manager combinations in the Premier League. ..''


West Ham Utd v Man City
Sunday, 1st March 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so, after the disappointment of seeing us exit the cup up at the Riverside we return to “concentrate on the league” against Manchester City for a much-despised 12.30 kick-off. ..''


Middlesbrough v West Ham Utd
Tuesday, 24th February 2009
by Preview Percy
''Next up a replay return to the Riverside where Boro’ await as we do battle for the right to visit Everton in the quarter-final, whenever that gets to be played. ..''


Bolton Wanderers v West Ham Utd
Friday, 20th February 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so to Horwich, current home of Bolton Wanderers, for our second Saturday 3pm kick-off in a row...''


West Ham Utd v Middlesbrough
Saturday, 14th February 2009
by Preview Percy
''Cup time again and we prepare for a visit from Boro’ for a 5th round tie that has managed to escape the clutches of the professional TV broadcasters – and ITV – to ensure a rare 3pm Saturday start at the Boleyn. What will they think of next?..''


West Ham Utd v Manchester Utd
Friday, 6th February 2009
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have the mob from Salford. It’s a Sky game which means two things. Firstly it’s a 4pm Sunday start, and secondly the cameras will face the right way and they’ll leave the adverts until half and full-time. ..''


West Ham Utd v Hull City
Tuesday, 27th January 2009
by Preview Percy
''We next return to league action for Wednesday’s Live on Sky match when we entertain Hull City...''


Hartlepool v West Ham Utd
Thursday, 22nd January 2009
by Preview Percy
''Cup time again and we visit the North East for the second time in three weeks for the fourth round tie against Hartlepool United. ..''


West Ham Utd v Fulham
Sunday, 18th January 2009
by Preview Percy
''Next up a derby match against a Fulham side who, quietly, and with little fuss somehow find themselves sitting one place above us in 9th place. ..''


Newcastle Utd v West Ham Utd
Friday, 9th January 2009
by Preview Percy
''Next up is a visit to Newcastle for our annual trip to a club that is possibly the only one that comes near us in the “football club as soap opera” stakes. ..''


West Ham Utd v Barnsley: match preview
Friday, 2nd January 2009
by Preview Percy
''And so, after a successful Christmas in the league thoughts turn to the FA Cup where we entertain Barnsley who are currently plying their trade in The Championship. ..''


West Ham Utd v Tottenham: match preview
Monday, 8th December 2008
by Preview Percy
''Another Monday and another 8pm kick-off under the lights for the visit of Tottenham Hotspur. ..''


Liverpool v West Ham Utd
Monday, 1st December 2008
by Preview Percy
''Next we have Liverpool at Anfield where we haven’t won since September 1963. Youngsters will find this hard to believe but Liverpool were the Man Utd of the 70s. Much as they will hate to admit it, Liverpool have a lot in common with the mob from Salford. They were – indeed still are to a certain extent - a club ”supported” by a lot of people with about as much connection with Liverpool as I have with Papua New Guinea. Like their rivals from up the M62, the red half of Liverpool have been no strangers to dodgy dealings which, like the red half of Manchester seem to have some strange cloak of invisibility when the authorities come sniffing around, and the next time some holier than thou scally without the guts to support Everton starts acting up over the Tevez affair, you might want to point out that their club was once found guilty of match–fixing and it was only some exceedingly dodgy dealing involving Arsenal and Man Utd that saved them from the expulsion from the league their antics deserved...''


Sunderland v West Ham Utd: preview
Friday, 21st November 2008
by Preview Percy
''We next have a long trip up to the North East to the Stadium of Light where the football authorities and the TV companies have showed exactly the contempt they have for us supporters by decreeing that we will have to play at a travel-unfriendly 4.00pm on a Sunday. Still, as we all know, we’re the last ones that matter to the powers that be...''


West Ham Utd v Portsmouth
Friday, 14th November 2008
by Preview Percy
''Greetings next to Portsmouth. The visitors were the main beneficiaries last season of the so called big four’s simultaneous self-destruction on the road to Wembley and arrive as FA Cup holders. ..''


West Ham Utd v Everton
Thursday, 6th November 2008
by Preview Percy
''Next up we play host to the less irritating half of Liverpool as Everton make the journey south to the Boleyn. The Toffeemen sit in 7th place at the moment, two points ahead of ourselves. It is indeed a strange league and a strange season where a team sitting one place outside the European places can be a mere four points off the relegation zone but there you go...''


West Ham Utd v Arsenal: match preview
Thursday, 23rd October 2008
by Preview Percy
''Next up is Arsenal. Let’s face it - there’s not much to like about this club. ..''


Hull City v West Ham Utd: preview
Thursday, 16th October 2008
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have Hull in a match that has been moved to Sunday for no good reason other than the local police said so. Either the constabulary genuinely believes that any troublemakers will prefer to attend church that day or they are abusing their powers in an attempt to a) make travel difficult for law-abiding citizens, and b) make themselves a cosy few bob in Sunday overtime. You decide...''


West Ham Utd v Bolton: preview
Friday, 3rd October 2008
by Preview Percy
''Our first home Sunday fixture of the current campaign pitches us up against Bolton Wanderers in a re-run of the 1923 FA Cup Final that even I am too young to remember. ..''


Fulham v West Ham Utd: preview
Thursday, 25th September 2008
by Preview Percy
''Next up we have a short but expensive trip down by the riverside to Fulham, a strange club owned by a strange man that even the current Government deems too untrustworthy to be granted a UK passport. Fayed (The “Al” is an affectation – a bit like me calling myself “Lord” Percy – not actually illegal but a bit of a pose nevertheless) is charging us £48 quid to sit in the Putney Stand...''


West Ham Utd v Newcastle Utd: preview
Friday, 19th September 2008
by Preview Percy
''And on we move to a new era against a club whose recent history makes ours look almost dull. Whilst we moved with, what was, for us, almost impressive speed to bring in a new manager, Newcastle’s managerial saga seems to have been going on for ever. ..''


WBA v West Ham Utd
Thursday, 11th September 2008
by Preview Percy
''Fixtures against West Brom always engender a certain amount of nostalgia in the Preview Percy household. Back in the 1960s, when the author was a kid, the beginning of the season was heralded by the arrival of the new season’s football sticker album. In those days the albums were produced by a mob called FKS (Panini? Pah! Nothing but trendy arrivistes) and there we always were, second to last just before Wolves and the very serious looking warranty that equal numbers of stickers had been printed. And just before us were West Brom...''


West Ham Utd v Blackburn Rovers
Thursday, 28th August 2008
by Preview Percy
''So having played Mark Hughes’ current club we return to the Boleyn to face his former charges Blackburn Rovers, managed of course by Paul Ince. ..''


Manchester City v West Ham Utd
Thursday, 21st August 2008
by Preview Percy
''So if the lead-up to our pre-season was a tad dull, that of our next opponents has been anything but. Last season began very promisingly for “The Citizens” with a 2-0 win at the Boleyn as owner Thaksin 'Frank' Shinawatra ushered in the era of Sven Goran Eriksson. However the early promise wasn’t maintained and rumours of the Swede’s impending departure were rife well before the last-day 8-1 thrashing at the hands of an ordinary Middlesbrough. ..''


West Ham Utd v Wigan Athletic
Thursday, 14th August 2008
by Preview Percy
''With our normal preview correspondent currently unavailable we asked “Preview Percy” to jot a few lines about Saturday’s season-opener at the Boleyn……..''