"Have you hear of Murphys Law?"
"Yeah, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong!"
"Have you heard of Coles Law?"
"No! What is it?"
"Thinly sliced cabbage."
The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Moderators: Gnome, last.caress, Wilko1304, Rio, bristolhammerfc, the pink palermo, chalks
-
Paddy O'Hammer
- Posts: 11138
- Joined: Wed May 23, 2007 10:57 am
- Location: Dublin, Ireland
- Has liked: 511 likes
- Total likes: 166 likes
- Contact:
-
Samba
- Posts: 21816
- Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
- Location: David Sullivan's least favourite fluffer.
- Has liked: 2466 likes
- Total likes: 891 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Was watching the Winter Olympics the other day & thought some skier had just had a terrible accident.
Forgot it was the Paralympics..
Too pc?
Forgot it was the Paralympics..
Too pc?
-
pablo jaye
- Posts: 11281
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 6:08 pm
- Location: Somewhere massive!
- Has liked: 2610 likes
- Total likes: 936 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
An inmate escaped from a lunatic asylum after shagging two cleaning ladies. The headline read "Nut Screws Washers And Bolts".
A dwarf fortune-teller escaped from prison. The headline in the paper read ‘small medium at large’
A dwarf fortune-teller escaped from prison. The headline in the paper read ‘small medium at large’
-
Greatest Cockney Rip Off
- Posts: 19314
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 12:29 am
- Location: The oil drum in the Garden of England
- Has liked: 337 likes
- Total likes: 709 likes
- Contact:
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I used to date a girl who worked in a brewery and only had one leg.
She was in charge of the hops!
She was in charge of the hops!
-
Monkeybubbles
- Posts: 13895
- Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:00 am
- Location: Rumble, Brighton, Tonight.
- Has liked: 495 likes
- Total likes: 1975 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The first time I met Mrs Monkeybubbles, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves
She was wearing massive gloves
-
Westcliffspur
- Posts: 846
- Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2013 9:12 pm
- Has liked: 10 likes
- Total likes: 71 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I thought I was stung earlier by a sinister Russian wasp but when I looked closer it was a cagey bee.
-
Dover KUMB fan
- Posts: 3242
- Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:33 am
- Total likes: 42 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
What with the Anglo-Russian tension, the Russian in our human pyramid team has decided to leave.
Which means we don't have Oleg to stand on.
Which means we don't have Oleg to stand on.
-
Sauce!
- Posts: 5997
- Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:47 pm
- Location: sitting on a bucket on a hamper in the corner of the old wigwam.
- Total likes: 5 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I f a k e d an orgasm last night.
Afterwards, I smoked an e-cigarette.
Afterwards, I smoked an e-cigarette.
-
ageing hammer
- Posts: 25477
- Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:04 am
- Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double
- Has liked: 486 likes
- Total likes: 1491 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
At least you got a good blow jobSauce! wrote:I f a k e d an orgasm last night.
Afterwards, I smoked an e-cigarette.
-
-DL-
- Bag Man
- Posts: 30097
- Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:43 am
- Has liked: 834 likes
- Total likes: 4918 likes
- Contact:
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I tried to use 'beef stew' as a password, but it wasn't accepted.
It wasn't stroganoff.
It wasn't stroganoff.
-
-DL-
- Bag Man
- Posts: 30097
- Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:43 am
- Has liked: 834 likes
- Total likes: 4918 likes
- Contact:
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Had an awful day today. My wife got run over by a bus this morning, and this afternoon, I lost my job...
-
ageing hammer
- Posts: 25477
- Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:04 am
- Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double
- Has liked: 486 likes
- Total likes: 1491 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
-DL- wrote:Had an awful day today. My wife got run over by a bus this morning, and this afternoon, I lost my job...
-
Greatest Cockney Rip Off
- Posts: 19314
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 12:29 am
- Location: The oil drum in the Garden of England
- Has liked: 337 likes
- Total likes: 709 likes
- Contact:
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Just been offered a job circumcising elephants.
The pay isn't great, but the tips are big!
The pay isn't great, but the tips are big!
-
Monkeybubbles
- Posts: 13895
- Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 11:00 am
- Location: Rumble, Brighton, Tonight.
- Has liked: 495 likes
- Total likes: 1975 likes
Online
-
Tenbury
- Posts: 9325
- Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
- Location: Too near Kidderminster
- Has liked: 729 likes
- Total likes: 1227 likes
-
vietnammer
- Bucky the beaver
- Posts: 31761
- Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 2:31 am
- Location: Those little golden birdies look at them
- Has liked: 641 likes
- Total likes: 592 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
:lol: genius!
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexia Association
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexia Association
-
Dover KUMB fan
- Posts: 3242
- Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:33 am
- Total likes: 42 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Please don't mock Dyslexia. It's not furry.
Someone might raise a lawsuit against you & claim condensation.
Someone might raise a lawsuit against you & claim condensation.
-
ageing hammer
- Posts: 25477
- Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:04 am
- Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double
- Has liked: 486 likes
- Total likes: 1491 likes
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.
