The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby jevs on Thu Mar 22, 2018 12:24 pm

Bad spellers of the world untie
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Thu Mar 22, 2018 3:01 pm

ive got dis...
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia




sod it im just thick
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:13 pm

psychoscoredthelot wrote:ive got dis...
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia




sod it im just thick



on this lockersh :)
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Sauce! on Thu Mar 22, 2018 7:46 pm

*First woman on the Moon:*

Woman: Houston, we have a problem

Houston: What is the nature of the problem?

Woman: Never mind.

Houston: Repeat. What is the nature of the problem?

Woman: Nothing.

Houston: Repeat again. What is the nature of the problem?

Woman: It doesn’t matter.

Houston: Can you tell us what the problem is please?

Woman: You know what the problem is.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:24 am

I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked what my qualities are.

I said "I can perform under pressure"

"Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"

I replied:
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me.

:oops:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:35 am

^^^ :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Cockneyboy311 on Fri Mar 23, 2018 2:30 pm

Samba wrote:The man who invented predictive text, died last week.
His funfair is next Monkey.


Love this :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby -DL- on Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:02 pm

Just been to visit my mates new baby, they asked me if I wanted to wind him..

I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Mega Ron on Fri Mar 23, 2018 9:06 pm

:D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby sussexhammer74 on Sat Mar 24, 2018 8:44 pm

That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell the wife to sit on my face.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby JerseyHammer on Sun Mar 25, 2018 11:13 am

I've just come across a joke and limerick book from 1946 and there are a couple of corkers in it:

An English teacher writes on the blackboard, 'I didn't have no fun on the weekend', she then proceeds to ask James, "how can I correct that?"

"Get yourself a feller"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:39 pm

Did you hear the one about the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper -

He sold his soul to Santa .



Yeah , I know it's old .
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Sun Mar 25, 2018 7:15 pm

Or the dyslexic rock star?
Drowned in his own Vimto
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Sun Mar 25, 2018 9:43 pm

You think swimming with dolphins is expensive.

I know someone who went swimming with sharks...........cost him an arm and a leg.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Tue Mar 27, 2018 11:07 am

As part of their team building to get some morale back, the Australian cricket team are to play a charity baseball match against a top American team.
Won’t be the first time they’ve played Tampa will it?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Coops on Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:43 pm

Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Monkeybubbles on Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:13 pm

Coops wrote:Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes.


*APPLAUSE*
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Monkeybubbles on Wed Mar 28, 2018 4:14 pm

A friend of mine's just found out he's got 'the Big C'.

Dyslexia.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Polaroid on Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:23 am

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?
You may be entitled to personal Ian Dury.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ereford ammer on Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:35 am

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