The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:19 pm

badgermax wrote:So the new Doctor Who is a woman. I bet she'll keep bringing up the past.


She will also be responsible for the rise of the cybermen :D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Sun Jul 23, 2017 4:36 pm

Some Egyptian bloke just pulled up in a BMW, beeped his horn and bared his naked backside out of the window.
Bloody toot and car moon!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Bamber Gascoigne on Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:01 pm

:D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:35 am

:lol: Stealing that one!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby York Ham(mer) on Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:19 pm

Am reading "The History of Teaspoons". Stirring stuff.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:55 pm

What's the difference between a woman praying in a church and a woman soaking in a bath.

One's soul is full of hope, the other's..............................
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Sauce! on Tue Jul 25, 2017 4:59 pm

Went on a date with a dolphin last night.

It was great, we just clicked.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Suffolk Iron on Tue Jul 25, 2017 5:15 pm

badgermax wrote:So the new Doctor Who is a woman. I bet she'll keep bringing up the past.

I don't see a problem with the new Dr Who being a woman. It's not as if she has to actually park the Tardis is it?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Eggs'n'nuts on Tue Jul 25, 2017 6:07 pm

What's the difference between a foot massage and a very average drummer in a band?

One bucks up the feet................................
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby badgermax on Tue Jul 25, 2017 8:50 pm

What did the cow say to his son when he left for college?

Bison
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Tenbury on Wed Jul 26, 2017 8:14 am

Round here people wash their hands in a bison.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:21 am

Tenbury wrote:Round here people wash their hands in a bison.


Don't milk it :D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby OFT on Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:29 am

Tenbury wrote:Round here people wash their hands in a bison.

:D

Having spent a year as a student in Wolverhampton/Wednesbury, many moons ago, that has tickled me.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Sauce! on Wed Jul 26, 2017 5:57 pm

Just seen a dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:43 pm

Steer clear of the Tesco dating service.
A mate of mine used them and ended up with a bag for life.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby badgermax on Fri Jul 28, 2017 4:14 pm

I tried to take a photo of some fog.
I mist
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Sat Jul 29, 2017 9:56 am

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'Thank you' will suffice

None of this 'How the hell did you get in my house?' carry on.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Bamber Gascoigne on Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:39 pm

I went to the Bakers earlier and every cake was £1 - except one which was £5.

I asked the Portuguese chap who runs the place "How comes that one is a fiver when all the rest are only a quid?" to which he replied......

"That's a madiera cake"....
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Hammer1972 on Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:20 pm

My girlfriend said it's ok to have a 3 inch penis.

But I'd still prefer she didn't have one...
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Wed Aug 02, 2017 12:59 pm

A crank caller rang my wife last night.

He said to her "I bet you have a tight arse with a huge pair of tits"

She answered "I do but he is down the pub with his mates and won't be back until all hours"
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