The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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1875Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by 1875Hammer »

Just been looking at a lovely old house with period features.

She hates that nickname.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Our local dating agency for lesbian chickens has been forced to close.
Apparently, they are struggling to make hens meet

:oops:
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psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

1875Hammer wrote:Just been looking at a lovely old house with period features.

She hates that nickname.
:lol:
1875Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by 1875Hammer »

Guy with two left feet walks into a shoe shop and asks "do you have any flip flips?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

'Period Features' ... it's taken me two days to get it :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by OFT »

1875Hammer wrote:Guy with two left feet walks into a shoe shop and asks "do you have any flip flips?
Bit of a flop that joke
:)
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

My wife laughed at me when I said I was going to make a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Bamber Gascoigne »

Why are horse drawn carriages such a rare sight?

Because very few Horses can hold a pencil.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ham34mer »

Heard about the chicken proof suit they have just invented?

It's impeccable!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by westhamdave1 »

My mate David has had his ID stolen.

We now call him Dav
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

My mate is an undertaker and he has just started making glass coffins.

I asked him if he thinks it will be a success and he said " Remains to be seen "
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

My girlfriend always insists that I text her when I get in.

That's how small my cock is. 8-)
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vietnammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

.......but have you got a joke to tell?
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ham34mer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ham34mer »

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote:My girlfriend always insists that I text her when I get in.

That's how small my cock is.
HAHA :thup:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ham34mer »

vietnammer wrote:.......but have you got a joke to tell?

Even better!! :lol: :
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Tristan Shout »

My wife caught me crossdressing.

So I packed her things and left.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Tristan Shout »

I can hear music coming out of my printer.

I think the papers jammin' again
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

vietnammer wrote:.......but have you got a joke to tell?
Sadly not :fsake:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by chelmsfordhammer91 »

Keep up the good work guys and girls, I've read through this whole thread throughout the week and some have proper cracked me up!.

Shame I havn't got anything that fits the title's criteria
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by trick88 »

A 60 years old billionaire marries a very hot 25 year old,
After their honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage,
After a few drinks the billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo beauty,
"It's simple" billionaire boasts "I lied about my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy, she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
The billionaire responds, "85".
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