The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby uptonparkhurst on Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:04 pm

Q: Why do Irish men always wear 2 condoms during sex?

A: To be sure, to be sure.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby West Ham Dave on Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:50 pm

Chemist asks the sales girl why is the customer leaning against the wall.
She replied he came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative to drink.
You can't treat a cough with laxatives he says, of course you can she says, look at him, he's too f’ing scared to cough now!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby uptonparkhurst on Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:55 pm

West Ham Dave wrote:Chemist asks the sales girl why is the customer leaning against the wall.
She replied he came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative to drink.
You can't treat a cough with laxatives he says, of course you can she says, look at him, he's too f’ing scared to cough now!


:lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Sauce! on Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:42 pm

So there was this bloke standing in he middle of the High Street, and the back of his Anorak was flapping about wildly.

Every now and then passing pedestrians would stop, watch for a bit and then put some change into his hands.

Intrigued, I approached him and asked him if he made a living out of it.

"Yes I do", he replied.

"It's my livelihood".
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Burnley Hammer on Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:34 pm

The wife said she's had enough of my Star Wars "bull****" and wants to end our marriage.

Divorce is strong in this one.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:34 pm

my wife has left me cos i am so insecure
no wait shes back
she just went to make a cup of tea
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:35 pm

i just saw my psychiatrist and she says i am suffering from xenophobia
i reckon i caught it from some bloody foreigner
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:36 pm

my next door neighbour is bulimic - she was making so much noise last night that i banged on her wall and yelled for ****'s sake - keep it down
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:15 pm

they say a womans work is never done




thats probably why they get paid less
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:28 pm

i had been looking for my keys for ages and then asked the wife if she had seen them her response was to try looking harder.

so i got a skinhead and a tattoo but i still couldnt find them
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby cambridge hammer on Thu Feb 23, 2017 9:27 pm

I was disappointed when the Russian bloke left our human pyramid group. Now we won't have Oleg to stand on.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby cambridge hammer on Thu Feb 23, 2017 9:32 pm

My girlfriend of 3 weeks sent me some up skirt shots of her *rse and f*nny. The cracks have started to appear in our relationship.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby ageing hammer on Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:54 pm

WINTER ' a short poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre





"**** Me! It's Cold!"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Polaroid on Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:13 am

2020 Olympic pole vault results:

Gold - Mexico
Silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Fri Feb 24, 2017 12:48 pm

Polaroid wrote:2020 Olympic pole vault results:

Gold - Mexico
Silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico


same result for the trampolining i reckon
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby SxHammer on Fri Feb 24, 2017 1:21 pm

psychoscoredthelot wrote:same result for the trampolining i reckon


If they were that good surely they will be representing USA?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Burningaham on Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:14 pm

I just got a fright from a Chinese travel agent
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Fri Feb 24, 2017 6:27 pm

Burningaham wrote:I just got a fright from a Chinese travel agent


:lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby York Ham(mer) on Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:55 am

Pancake Day is crepeing up on us.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:48 am

psychoscoredthelot wrote:
same result for the trampolining i reckon


If they were that good surely they will be representing USA?

they've had their ups and downs
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