The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Paddy O'Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Paddy O'Hammer »

"Have you hear of Murphys Law?"

"Yeah, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong!"

"Have you heard of Coles Law?"

"No! What is it?"

"Thinly sliced cabbage."
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Samba »

Was watching the Winter Olympics the other day & thought some skier had just had a terrible accident.
Forgot it was the Paralympics..




Too pc?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by pablo jaye »

An inmate escaped from a lunatic asylum after shagging two cleaning ladies. The headline read "Nut Screws Washers And Bolts".

A dwarf fortune-teller escaped from prison. The headline in the paper read ‘small medium at large’
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

I used to date a girl who worked in a brewery and only had one leg.

She was in charge of the hops!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

The first time I met Mrs Monkeybubbles, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Westcliffspur »

I thought I was stung earlier by a sinister Russian wasp but when I looked closer it was a cagey bee.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

What with the Anglo-Russian tension, the Russian in our human pyramid team has decided to leave.

Which means we don't have Oleg to stand on.

:oops:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Sauce! »

I f a k e d an orgasm last night.

Afterwards, I smoked an e-cigarette.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

Sauce! wrote:I f a k e d an orgasm last night.

Afterwards, I smoked an e-cigarette.
At least you got a good blow job
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by -DL- »

I tried to use 'beef stew' as a password, but it wasn't accepted.

It wasn't stroganoff.
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-DL-
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by -DL- »

Had an awful day today. My wife got run over by a bus this morning, and this afternoon, I lost my job...
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

-DL- wrote:Had an awful day today. My wife got run over by a bus this morning, and this afternoon, I lost my job...
:D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Just been offered a job circumcising elephants.

The pay isn't great, but the tips are big!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

I have sex daily.

No, sorry, dyslexia.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Tenbury »

:D
Online
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

:lol: genius!


What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexia Association
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Please don't mock Dyslexia. It's not furry.
Someone might raise a lawsuit against you & claim condensation.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia it was music to my arse.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Sauce! »

Dyslexia lures KO!




(c) the 1970’s
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by jevs »

Bad spellers of the world untie
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