The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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West Ham Dave
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by West Ham Dave »

Chemist asks the sales girl why is the customer leaning against the wall.
She replied he came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative to drink.
You can't treat a cough with laxatives he says, of course you can she says, look at him, he's too f’ing scared to cough now!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by uptonparkhurst »

West Ham Dave wrote:Chemist asks the sales girl why is the customer leaning against the wall.
She replied he came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative to drink.
You can't treat a cough with laxatives he says, of course you can she says, look at him, he's too f’ing scared to cough now!
:lol:
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Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Sauce! »

So there was this bloke standing in he middle of the High Street, and the back of his Anorak was flapping about wildly.

Every now and then passing pedestrians would stop, watch for a bit and then put some change into his hands.

Intrigued, I approached him and asked him if he made a living out of it.

"Yes I do", he replied.

"It's my livelihood".
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Burnley Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Burnley Hammer »

The wife said she's had enough of my Star Wars "bull****" and wants to end our marriage.

Divorce is strong in this one.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

my wife has left me cos i am so insecure
no wait shes back
she just went to make a cup of tea
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

i just saw my psychiatrist and she says i am suffering from xenophobia
i reckon i caught it from some bloody foreigner
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

my next door neighbour is bulimic - she was making so much noise last night that i banged on her wall and yelled for ****'s sake - keep it down
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

they say a womans work is never done




thats probably why they get paid less
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

i had been looking for my keys for ages and then asked the wife if she had seen them her response was to try looking harder.

so i got a skinhead and a tattoo but i still couldnt find them
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by cambridge hammer »

I was disappointed when the Russian bloke left our human pyramid group. Now we won't have Oleg to stand on.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by cambridge hammer »

My girlfriend of 3 weeks sent me some up skirt shots of her *rse and f*nny. The cracks have started to appear in our relationship.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

WINTER ' a short poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre





"f*** Me! It's Cold!"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Polaroid »

2020 Olympic pole vault results:

Gold - Mexico
Silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

Polaroid wrote:2020 Olympic pole vault results:

Gold - Mexico
Silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico
same result for the trampolining i reckon
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by SxHammer »

psychoscoredthelot wrote: same result for the trampolining i reckon
If they were that good surely they will be representing USA?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Burningaham »

I just got a fright from a Chinese travel agent
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Burningaham wrote:I just got a fright from a Chinese travel agent
:lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by York Ham(mer) »

Pancake Day is crepeing up on us.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

psychoscoredthelot wrote:
same result for the trampolining i reckon


If they were that good surely they will be representing USA?

they've had their ups and downs
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Eggs'n'nuts »

^^^ No problem though. They'll bounce back!^^^
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