Dover KUMB fan wrote:It's Dad's turn to cook as Mum is working late. Feeling adventurous, he cooks a nice piece of venison. However, he doesn't tell the kids what it is.
"What is it dad? " What animal is it from Dad?" etc etc all the time he is cooking it.
In the end as they sit at the table, dad says "I'll give you a clue, it comes from something that has the same name as the name mummy calls daddy"
Little Jimmy shouts "Dont eat it! It's a farrkin aaarsehole!!!"
The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Samba
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Samba wrote:Just read a great book about what actually caused the Titanic to sink.
It was really riveting.
The Old Man of Storr wrote:Please tell me you're just making these jokes up as you go along because you're bored . They're not real jokes are they ?
I hurt myself on the end of a cutting tool but I don't want to talk about it, it's a bit of a saw point.
Last edited by Samba on Sat Sep 29, 2018 4:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Following the death of his parrot from obesity Long John Silver says..it's a weight off his shoulder
- Samba
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I had acupuncture to treat a bad back.
To be honest, it just gave me pins & needles.
To be honest, it just gave me pins & needles.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The last time I recounted a joke on her I got called a plagiarist !
Their words,not mine....
Their words,not mine....
- Samba
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Someone suggested that I should visit native American sites in the U.S but I have my reservations.
- devonshire flu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
“To be is to do”—Socrates.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.
- Barking Boy
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
:lol: :lol: :lol:Noble Man wrote:My daughter came home with a new pet - a very small newt. She told me she was calling it Tiny and when I asked her why she called it Tiny she replied 'because he's my newt'.
- Tenbury
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Tvietnammer wrote:“To be is to do”—Socrates.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.
That was written on my favourite bog wall @ Uni.
Adjacent was an arrow pointing to the bog roll and there was written:
" Social Science Students Please Take One".
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Many moons ago when I was still a student, there were two bits of grafitti that always made me laugh. One said 'Noel Brotherston would be God, if he wasn't a prod', (oldies might remember him) and the other, written on the side of the stall next to the paper said 'Not now, Scotty, I'm having a shi .........................................'Tenbury wrote:
That was written on my favourite bog wall @ Uni.
Adjacent was an arrow pointing to the bog roll and there was written:
" Social Science Students Please Take One".
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The so called experts told me that I would never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic, well I showed them, so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant last night. Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Hammer.CA wrote:The so called experts told me that I would never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic, well I showed them, so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase.
PMSL
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I wanted to hire a bouncy castle for a kids party. They told me the rental was £50, and set up was £1000.
I said “That’s outrageous!!”
They replied “That’s inflation for you”
I said “That’s outrageous!!”
They replied “That’s inflation for you”
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- vietnammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I've started band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven't got a gig.
- uptonparkhurst
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
:lol:vietnammer wrote:I've started band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven't got a gig.
I'm making a music video - I'm offering your band a bit part in it.
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Ahem ... hate to piss on your chips but there are 1024 megabytes in one GigaBytevietnammer wrote:I've started band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven't got a gig.
Just saying ...
- uptonparkhurst
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Unless you're a manufacturer of USB sticks, that is (the cheating fookas!)Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote:
Ahem ... hate to piss on your chips but there are 1024 megabytes in one GigaByte
Just saying ...
- Puff Daddy
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Two logs. One log said to the other log, I slept like a man last night