The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- ereford ammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Sad news today. After years of medical training and hard work, a mate of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion!
Unfortunately he slept with one of his patients, so can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time and effort!
A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet!
Unfortunately he slept with one of his patients, so can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time and effort!
A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet!
- Joyeux Marteau
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was at the doctors the other day and he was just about to write my prescription when he pulled out a thermometer.
"Oh Christ" he said "some ass hole has got my pen"
Apologies if the is been done before.
"Oh Christ" he said "some ass hole has got my pen"
Apologies if the is been done before.
- claretandblue82
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My mate got the sack yesterday from the carnival. He is going to sue them for funfair dismissal.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
AK-47, I shamelessly nicked that :lol:
A scouse mate of mine got his kids a really nice trampoline.
I asked him where he got it from?
"Off the internet" he replied
I asked "What website?"
"GOOGLE MAPS!"
A scouse mate of mine got his kids a really nice trampoline.
I asked him where he got it from?
"Off the internet" he replied
I asked "What website?"
"GOOGLE MAPS!"
- Hammer1972
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I had a 'your mum' joke but I think they are a bit tired now.
They have been done thousands of times by thousands of people...
A bit like your mum.
They have been done thousands of times by thousands of people...
A bit like your mum.
- hudds town hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
tell us it i bet its really funny ........Hammer1972 wrote:I had a 'your mum' joke but I think they are a bit tired now.
They have been done thousands of times by thousands of people...
A bit like your mum.
- Rocketron
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Two police men pulled a car over in Liverpool
They were surprised to find I was taxed and insured on inspection it had four good tyres , the driver had a clean licence not even one point for speeding
They had no option but to impose an £80 on the spot fine for wasting police time
They were surprised to find I was taxed and insured on inspection it had four good tyres , the driver had a clean licence not even one point for speeding
They had no option but to impose an £80 on the spot fine for wasting police time
- Dover KUMB fan
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- Monkeybubbles
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I'm a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac. I lie awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Went to the doctor and told him I was suffering from insomnia and that I was very worried.
The doc said "You shouldn't lose too much sleep over it"
The doc said "You shouldn't lose too much sleep over it"
- hammerdivone
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Asked the Mrs what she wants for Valentines. She said "give you a clue. Ex England goalie".
She's expecting Flowers. She's getting Seaman.
She's expecting Flowers. She's getting Seaman.
- 'Appy 'Ammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Got a Romantic table for two booked for Valentines day.
I hope she can play Snooker
I hope she can play Snooker
- vietnammer
- Bucky the beaver
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I said to her: What do you think about Paris for the 14th?
Oh, that'd be wonderful darling!
Or Madrid?
Oh yes lovely!
OK PSG vs Real we're watching it tonight!
Oh, that'd be wonderful darling!
Or Madrid?
Oh yes lovely!
OK PSG vs Real we're watching it tonight!
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Woman: Does Viagra work?
Pharmacist: Yes
Woman: Can you get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: Yes if I take two
Pharmacist: Yes
Woman: Can you get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: Yes if I take two
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
^^^^
Thieves broke into a pharmacy and stole their entire stock of viagra.
Police are looking for 4 hardened criminals.
Thieves broke into a pharmacy and stole their entire stock of viagra.
Police are looking for 4 hardened criminals.
- -DL-
- Bag Man
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.