The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why was the pole vaulter buried at the top of the hill?
Because he was dead.
Because he was dead.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I got the world's worst Thesaurus for Christmas.
Not only is it rubbish, it's rubbish.
Not only is it rubbish, it's rubbish.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
OFT wrote:Jokes about sugar are rare.
Jokes about brown sugar
Demerara
:shock:Tarte Encore wrote:There's quite a few jokes doing the rounds about white sugar but ones about brown sugar..... Demerara.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Fri Feb 26, 2016
Tarte Encore...is that You MB, what with you being a performer n'evrfin?
Tarte Encore...is that You MB, what with you being a performer n'evrfin?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" She said "it was absolutely incredible, and it is our anniversary tomorrow."
"F&ck it" I thought. I'll treat her.
So I walked her past it again.
"Did you smell that food?" She said "it was absolutely incredible, and it is our anniversary tomorrow."
"F&ck it" I thought. I'll treat her.
So I walked her past it again.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The grand-kids are round for Christmas.
They keep laughing at my Altzeimers.
They won't be laughing on Christmas Day when I don't leave any chocolate eggs under the bonfire.
They keep laughing at my Altzeimers.
They won't be laughing on Christmas Day when I don't leave any chocolate eggs under the bonfire.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Sauce! wrote:My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" She said "it was absolutely incredible, and it is our anniversary tomorrow."
"F&ck it" I thought. I'll treat her.
So I walked her past it again.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Nah....I'm a member in my own right.....so.....like OFT but with original material.OFT wrote:Fri Feb 26, 2016
Tarte Encore...is that You MB, what with you being a performer n'evrfin?
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Well, they do say imitation is the greatest form of flattery
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Tarte Encore wrote:
Nah....I'm a member in my own right.....so.....like OFT but with original material.
Well, they do say imitation is the greatest form of flattery
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The wife said my cock reminded her of a supermarket.
I said "because it's well stocked and supplies your every need?"
She replied "No because its Lidl"
I said "because it's well stocked and supplies your every need?"
She replied "No because its Lidl"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why did the vegan cross the road?
To tell someone that he was a vegan.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he wouldn’t have to listen to the vegan.
To tell someone that he was a vegan.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he wouldn’t have to listen to the vegan.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I'm in hospital. I ate what I thought was an onion, but it was a daffodil bulb.
Doctors reckon I will be out in the Spring
Doctors reckon I will be out in the Spring
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
What do the film 'Sixth Sense' & the Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Icy dead people.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city.
After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope.
Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say.
He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the nuns.
"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" Grumpy asks.
"No, my son, all of our nuns are at least five feet tall," smiles the Pope.
"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"
"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"
"No reason," replies Grumpy.
"But you're positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, maybe two-and-a-half feet tall?"
"I'm sure, my vertically-challenged son," says the Pope, trying not show his curiosity.
"Okay," moans Grumpy.
So the Pope listens to the dwarves as they leave the building.
"What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarves.
Grumpy mutters, "He said they don't have any."
And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy f&ck£d a penguin! Grumpy f&ck£d a penguin!"
After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope.
Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say.
He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the nuns.
"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" Grumpy asks.
"No, my son, all of our nuns are at least five feet tall," smiles the Pope.
"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"
"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"
"No reason," replies Grumpy.
"But you're positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, maybe two-and-a-half feet tall?"
"I'm sure, my vertically-challenged son," says the Pope, trying not show his curiosity.
"Okay," moans Grumpy.
So the Pope listens to the dwarves as they leave the building.
"What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarves.
Grumpy mutters, "He said they don't have any."
And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy f&ck£d a penguin! Grumpy f&ck£d a penguin!"
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