The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

[russell2622]

Little boy playing by the side of the road when the local vicar walks up to him and says “Hello Johnny what are you playing with?
“Acid” replied Johnny
“But Johnny you mustn’t play with acid”
“I don’t tell you not to play with holy water do I” said Johnny
“But Johnny” said the vicar “holy water and acid are two very different things for instance, last week I put some holy water on a woman’s belly and she passed a baby”
“That’s nothing” replied Johnny “last night I put some acid on my dogs b*llocks and he passed a Ferrari!!

[ageing hammer]

We made the magic 100 pages well done everyone, all I can say is........................



It sure is a LOT of crap

[russell2622]

We made the magic 100 pages well done everyone, all I can say is........................



It sure is a LOT of crap

Lets see if we can produce even more CRAP and get up to 150 pages!!!

[Dover KUMB fan]

Well done to all for getting to the magic Century!!
My next offering:
Rangers FC 2013 Line up - Naismith, Naifuture, Naiclass, Naimoney, Naistadium, Naihope, Naitrophies, Naiprospects, Naifans, Naimanager, Naiplayers.

[Dan1326]

We made the magic 100 pages well done everyone, all I can say is........................



It sure is a LOT of crap

My most successful thread

[ageing hammer]

After 30 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly working his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttocks and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side.
Then suddenly he stopped, rolled over and started watching TV.

As the wife had loved every minute of the loving and gentle touch of her husband,
she asked in a gentle loving voice, “Oh sweetheart that felt so good, why did you stop?”


He replied, “I found the remote.”

[jemmo]

the chief executive of the fa has just spoken to roy hodgson to tell him "don't forget we got no wayne for the first two matches."to which hodgson replied "don't bother me with a ****ing weather forecast now you pwick."

[squatski]

Other day I had sex with a retard, she wouldn't open her mouth so I could cum in it so I jizzed on the window and let nature take its course.

[ageing hammer]

[ageing hammer]

Other day I had sex with a retard, she wouldn't open her mouth so I could cum in it so I jizzed on the window and let nature take its course.

Well at least we made it to 100 pages before we got busted lads

[trick88]

Other day I had sex with a retard, she wouldn't open her mouth so I could cum in it so I jizzed on the window and let nature take its course.

[Iron Spine v2.0]

Bloody hell Squats.

[hammer etc]

The other day I tried to have oral sex with someone who suffered from a physical and/or mental disability. They where not interested so I had a w@nk on their window and left it for them to lick it off.

I tried to make it funny for you but I can't.......try again.

[Dover KUMB fan]

After that shocker, back on track....
I saw a fat bird on the tube the other day wearing a T shirt stating "I LOVE HIP HOP"
I guessed the letters C & S had fallen off

[russell2622]

After that shocker, back on track....
I saw a fat bird on the tube the other day wearing a T shirt stating "I LOVE HIP HOP"
I guessed the letters C & S had fallen off
:

^^ ^^

[west ham15]

I once new a man that worked in a sperm bank...

He got sacked for drinking

[ageing hammer]

This prostitute visits her doctor and he informs her she is pregnant. He asks her does she know who the father is.

She replies " That's like eating a can of beans and asking me which one made me fart "

[lewisham-mer]

There i was, sitting on the edge of my bed, gently pulling my boxers off, when my wife said...


"please stop doing that to the dogs........"

[Lilyhammer]

Donald duck and Minnie mouse were in the divorce court when the judge said to Donald
" mr duck I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds that your wife has buck teeth"
Donald replies
" I didn't say she has buck teeth I said she's ****ing goofy"!!

[Lilyhammer]

Wife came home from work to find husband sitting watching the football. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else" she said "I'm also seeing someone else he's younger than you, hansome, tender, understanding, treats me like a queen, does anything i ask, has a 9inch cock, screws me every day hard and dirty till i cant take anymore" "really?" the husband replied "what team does he support?"