The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
ive got dis...
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia
sod it im just thick
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia
sod it im just thick
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
psychoscoredthelot wrote:ive got dis...
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia
sod it im just thick
on this lockersh
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
*First woman on the Moon:*
Woman: Houston, we have a problem
Houston: What is the nature of the problem?
Woman: Never mind.
Houston: Repeat. What is the nature of the problem?
Woman: Nothing.
Houston: Repeat again. What is the nature of the problem?
Woman: It doesn’t matter.
Houston: Can you tell us what the problem is please?
Woman: You know what the problem is.
Woman: Houston, we have a problem
Houston: What is the nature of the problem?
Woman: Never mind.
Houston: Repeat. What is the nature of the problem?
Woman: Nothing.
Houston: Repeat again. What is the nature of the problem?
Woman: It doesn’t matter.
Houston: Can you tell us what the problem is please?
Woman: You know what the problem is.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked what my qualities are.
I said "I can perform under pressure"
"Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"
I replied:
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me.
I said "I can perform under pressure"
"Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"
I replied:
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me.
- psychoscoredthelot
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- Cockneyboy311
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Love this :lol:Samba wrote:The man who invented predictive text, died last week.
His funfair is next Monkey.
- -DL-
- Bag Man
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Just been to visit my mates new baby, they asked me if I wanted to wind him..
I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg.
I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg.
- sussexhammer74
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell the wife to sit on my face.
-
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I've just come across a joke and limerick book from 1946 and there are a couple of corkers in it:
An English teacher writes on the blackboard, 'I didn't have no fun on the weekend', she then proceeds to ask James, "how can I correct that?"
"Get yourself a feller"
An English teacher writes on the blackboard, 'I didn't have no fun on the weekend', she then proceeds to ask James, "how can I correct that?"
"Get yourself a feller"
- The Old Man of Storr
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Did you hear the one about the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper -
He sold his soul to Santa .
Yeah , I know it's old .
He sold his soul to Santa .
Yeah , I know it's old .
- Dover KUMB fan
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- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
You think swimming with dolphins is expensive.
I know someone who went swimming with sharks...........cost him an arm and a leg.
I know someone who went swimming with sharks...........cost him an arm and a leg.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
As part of their team building to get some morale back, the Australian cricket team are to play a charity baseball match against a top American team.
Won’t be the first time they’ve played Tampa will it?
Won’t be the first time they’ve played Tampa will it?
- Monkeybubbles
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
*APPLAUSE*Coops wrote:Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes.
- Monkeybubbles
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A friend of mine's just found out he's got 'the Big C'.
Dyslexia.
Dyslexia.
- ereford ammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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So make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.
Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes:-
Sex with your wife - Legal & General
Sex on the telephone - Direct Line
Sex with your partner - Standard Life
Sex with someone different - Go Compare
Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than
Sex on the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels
Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union
Sex with your maid - Employer's Liability
Sex with an oap - Saga
Sex resulting in pregnancy - General Accident
and finally
Sex with a transvestite - Confused.com
Make sure you are adequately covered !
- pablo jaye
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