Little things in life that make you smile

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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby djclipz on Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:29 pm

Some chav in the petrol station buying a can of coke.

Cashier: "We don't take contactless"
Chav: "WHAT? WHY NOT? IT'S A CONTACTLESS MACHINE"
Cashier: "Yes it is, but the contactless doesn't work on them, it's deactivated"
Chav: "But i want to pay contactless"
Cashier "It doesn't work"
Chav: "I only just got this card, haven't even got the pin number or nuffin"
Cashier: "It still doesn't accept contactless"

Think he might be having trouble wherever he takes that card
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby -DL- on Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:22 pm

^^^^ Until he makes a purchase on it using his PIN, then contactless won't work on it anyway!
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby pablo jaye on Fri Sep 29, 2017 10:48 am

...off work today. Going to have a bit of a snooze, then out for a pint with my son, watch a bit of cricket this afternoon, then acoustic night at a local pub tonight.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby delbert on Fri Sep 29, 2017 10:59 am

I got in a lift earlier made by a company called Schindler, I got out of it stifling the giggles.


Disclaimer, before some dullard gets all menstrual, I know the holocaust wasn't funny.....
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:00 am

Edit
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby ageing hammer on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:32 am

delbert wrote:I got in a lift earlier made by a company called Schindler, I got out of it stifling the giggles.


Disclaimer, before some dullard gets all menstrual, I know the holocaust wasn't funny.....



I am with you brother, same thing a few weeks ago near where I worked, I found it funny too.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby woodgreenspur on Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:38 am

delbert wrote:I got in a lift earlier made by a company called Schindler, I got out of it stifling the giggles.


Disclaimer, before some dullard gets all menstrual, I know the holocaust wasn't funny.....

Reminds me of when Jonathan Ross was a film critic..
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby badabing on Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:03 pm

delbert wrote:I got in a lift earlier made by a company called Schindler, I got out of it stifling the giggles.


Disclaimer, before some dullard gets all menstrual, I know the holocaust wasn't funny.....


That has made me laugh far more than it should, Schindlers lifts
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby sendô on Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:29 pm

djclipz wrote:Some chav in the petrol station buying a can of coke.

Cashier: "We don't take contactless"
Chav: "WHAT? WHY NOT? IT'S A CONTACTLESS MACHINE"
Cashier: "Yes it is, but the contactless doesn't work on them, it's deactivated"
Chav: "But i want to pay contactless"
Cashier "It doesn't work"
Chav: "I only just got this card, haven't even got the pin number or nuffin"
Cashier: "It still doesn't accept contactless"

Think he might be having trouble wherever he takes that card

Most likely a stolen card.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Sat Sep 30, 2017 1:49 am

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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby DasNutNock on Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:52 am

Not having to take a single overnight escalation whilst in On Call for the weekend. Shift ends at 11pm, so for the first time in years, I'll be back in the office after my shift actually feeling refreshed.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby vmixture on Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:05 am

DasNutNock wrote:Not having to take a single overnight escalation whilst in On Call for the weekend. Shift ends at 11pm, so for the first time in years, I'll be back in the office after my shift actually feeling refreshed.


I refuse to do on call. I dont mind a 5am start or working late but on call is just a massive pain in the arse.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby DasNutNock on Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:56 am

Sadly, 1 weekend in every 7 is worth an extra 10% on top of my salary, and I just can't turn down that sort of dough. I actually find it less annoying than working late/starting early, if I'm honest, which buggers up my routine far more than a potentially sh*t weekend once every 2 months or so.

Still, there's no getting away from the fact that it is JOLLY nice when I don't actually have to do any work and I'm effectively being paid for doing sod all, especially when I don't have the morons from our NOC calling me at 3am to tell me they've just broken something and I have to fix it. Plus it gives me an excuse to hide indoors all weekend, watching sport & movies, cooking wildly elaborate meals and finding DIY jobs to do. Not that I particularly need such an excuse, of course.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Sun Oct 01, 2017 11:04 am

A German mate visited on Friday and brought with him a huge selection of German weiss bier - some real quality stuff that's only available in Germany as well as several Oktoberfest beers which are only available at certain Oktoberfests. I will mostly be demolishing them this week.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby DasNutNock on Sun Oct 01, 2017 11:14 am

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote:A German mate visited on Friday and brought with him a huge selection of German weiss bier - some real quality stuff that's only available in Germany as well as several Oktoberfest beers which are only available at certain Oktoberfests. I will mostly be pissing, and possibly also sh*tting, the bed this week.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Sun Oct 01, 2017 1:21 pm

DasNutNock wrote:A German mate visited on Friday and brought with him a huge selection of German weiss bier - some real quality stuff that's only available in Germany as well as several Oktoberfest beers which are only available at certain Oktoberfests. I will mostly be pissing, and possibly also sh*tting, the bed this week.
[/quote]

No chance. Real ale has a worse effect on me.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby Rio on Sun Oct 01, 2017 1:26 pm

Yesterday pre-game when our team selection came through, we were debating potential formations. For every quoted tactic other than 442 my best mate started to sneeze. We tried this for a prolonged period. 343, 532, 451 etc. etc. all triggered sneezing. 442 nothing. I aided by a few pints found it hugely amusing. First official allergy to modern football confirmed
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby DasNutNock on Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:42 pm

WHU Independent wrote:Dan there's a lot of "Tool Snobbery" with in some circles (especially in the construction game where I've worked) as well as some DIY'ers and certain brands are frowned upon by some contractors/users.

Basically if you turn up on site with tools that are not Makita, Dewalt, Bosh (as a minimum) or that level you will probably get sneered atand cop a lot of flack. If you turned up with Milwaukee, you will have a rep to live up to as a decent chippie or whatever, as they are top of the range and top dollar, and your work will be heavily scrutinised.

However, you have done exactly the right thing and the "bloke at the office" is a total newb. For light, part time use or one off projects, cheaper drills/impact drivers and the like are more than sufficient to do the job as you've described.

One thing though: don't be tempted to buy cheap batteries etc from China. A bloke I worked with had a dodgy battery blow up out of the re=charger and smash into the ceiling - twice!


Not convinced by this circular saw. Very noisy, which I understand probably goes with the cheap price tag, but doesn't feel smooth, like something's touching the blade somewhere, or there's a duff bearing. They replaced it with another without any hassle, but this one feels the same. Any circular saw experts here?
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby pablo jaye on Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:08 pm

The missus is training to do the Great South Run in 3 weeks - up until today, the furthest she'd ever run was 11km. She smashed it today running 16km, which is the length of the run. V proud of her.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Postby DasNutNock on Mon Oct 02, 2017 12:53 pm

The name of this new film:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5034266/
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