Little things in life that make you smile

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

Round 2 tonight : Motorhead .

what album(s)?

just in case things get ugly, i have some suggestions that will really make their ears bleed!

"Bastards" should do the job nicely.

[S-H]

This website..

https://forum.tfes.org/

[DasNutNock]

There's a blind guy at my office, lovely bloke. Absolutely always smiling, never seems to be anything other than cheerful. I just took a look at some of the software he's been writing - in my 20-odd year career, I've never seen anything like it. His formatting, ordering and structure, elegance and economy of code is truly incredible. I've met lots of very talented engineers in my time, but this is leagues above anything else I've seen.

He said he has to adhere to strict self-imposed rules to make sure his code is easy for him to parse and debug, which makes sense given that he uses a screen-reader to review what he's typing (at full speed, it's almost unlistenable garbage, but he's been doing it so long, he can hear everything he needs to clearly).

Don't think I ever expected to see beauty in uncompiled software, but I guess this is proof that you can find it anywhere, if you're willing to look.

[Cockneyboy311]

Tbh, this could also go in the annoyed thread, but i've found it more funny than irritating.

In the bogs yesterday morning and somebody goes into the trap next to me and starts vaping. Cheeky b*stard i thought. I wonder who it is. So i wait in my cubicle until i hear the door open then i peak out. Low and behold it's the new facilities manager :lol:

What's even funnier, is that today we've received a company wide email from him reminding everybody that smoking is not permitted by law on the premises after somebody complained of smelling cigarette smoke in the ladies toilets. Practice what you preach mate!

[DasNutNock]

Tbh, this could also go in the annoyed thread, but i've found it more funny than irritating.

In the bogs yesterday morning and somebody goes into the trap next to me and starts vaping. Cheeky b*stard i thought. I wonder who it is. So i wait in my cubicle until i hear the door open then i peak out. Low and behold it's the new facilities manager :lol:

What's even funnier, is that today we've received a company wide email from him reminding everybody that smoking is not permitted by law on the premises after somebody complained of smelling cigarette smoke in the ladies toilets. Practice what you preach mate!

Too right! Go in the bird's bogs next time.

[warp]

"Bastards" should do the job nicely.

i was thinking about other bands for heavier artillery, like carcass or early voivod...

[DasNutNock]

i was thinking about other bands for heavier artillery, like carcass or early voivod...

"I cum blood" by Cannibal Corpse.
"Special Olympics" by O.L.D.
Anything by An*l C*nt.

[warp]

yeah those too Dan

[hammerdivone]

i was thinking about other bands for heavier artillery, like carcass or early voivod...

"I cum blood" by Cannibal Corpse.
"Special Olympics" by O.L.D.
Anything by An*l C*nt.

Or Pinkys favourites, Black Lace

Can you imagine Agadoo on full volume non-stop for two hours? :shock:

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

Can you imagine Agadoo on full volume non-stop for two hours? :shock:

Barney The Dinosaur's "I Love You, You Love Me" would trump anything by Black Lace. In fact, the US Army in Iraq used it as a form of torture on captured insurgants, I kid you not.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/ ... guantanamo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[vietnammer]

/\ "What next? Perhaps the release of a special compilation: we could call it Now That's What I Call Torture"

:lol:

I can just envisage the late-night CD advert

[Tenbury]

Yeah, a re-run of last night's game.

[S-H]

Waiting to cross the road in the village, I notice a mobile speed camera further along, so being the kind and considerate type, I gesture to the next car flying down the road to slow down, only for the female driver to show me the middle finger, and purposely speed up!

Enjoy your speeding ticket you bitch!

[Johnny Byrne's Boots]

^^^ People have been prosecuted and convicted for warning drivers about speed traps.

[DasNutNock]

^^^ People have been prosecuted and convicted for warning drivers about speed traps.

Surely they haven't been prosecuted for warning drivers not to be such antisocial c*nts?

[S-H]

^^^ People have been prosecuted and convicted for warning drivers about speed traps.

f*** em then!

[Johnny Byrne's Boots]

Drivers fined for flashing headlights to warn of speed trap

During a week-long offensive, officers handed out £30 fines to motorists for “misuse of headlights” after they were spotted trying to alert other drivers to police carrying out speed checks.
Police argue in such cases that those responsible are obstructing them in their duty while officers involved in the campaign insisted those caught were risking lives.
However, motoring groups and legal experts described the move as “petty” and “unnecessary”, claiming it was a grey area of the law being exploited to “tax” drivers.
The Automobile Association (AA) described it as a “legal and moral minefield” and accused police of being “overly sensitive”.

more...

[Hampshire Hammer]

Round 2 tonight : Motorhead .

My mum used to employ my Motorhead and Exploited albums to get back at her neighbour. But what we found worked best was a couple of albums of Bach played on a cathederal organ that I had picked up. Apparently these vibrated every ornament off flat surfaces, breaking them on the floor. Also vibrated plates and cups off kitchen surfaces.

[fjthegrey]

You want to piss off neighbours with music?

Chemical Brothers - Bass Test

[DasNutNock]

Picking up my daughter from Brownies on tuesday night. Ought to be a ball ache, but it gives me an opportunity to listen in on the other dads trying to out-alpha each other. To a man, they compete to who can stand with their legs furthest apart, whilst doing that thing where they try to puff out their backs and sort of loom over each other, whilst swapping stories about rugby, work, and travel.

I heard one such conversation the other day, no word of a lie:

Dad 1 mentioned he'd just got back from "Twickers" for some reason.
Dad 2 chimed in with how his work has a box there.
Dad 3 (a balding ginger man) launched into an anecdote about how he met an England rugby player and how massive he was. By way of demonstration about just how massive, the Dad in question quickly said that he used to do a LOT of canoeing and was massive himself, particularly his shoulders, which led to even more exaggerated shoulder-presenting between the three of them.

They also seemed to be competing to see who could jangle the contents of their trouser pockets most loudly.

This tuesday just gone featured a one-upping conversation among a different group of dads about live music events:

Dad 1 said he'd been to see Phil Collins on sunday.
Dad 2 said he liked Phil Collins, too, and was hoping to see him in Rio next year.
Dad 3, apparently registering that an attractive mum was now stood next to them and listening in, boldly scoffed "Phil Collins? Isn't he dead yet?" (before laughing like he was a plant in the audience of a recording of an ITV sitcom), which caused the mum to guffaw, and Dads 1 & 2 to look annoyed that they'd just lost that particular round.