Little things in life that make you smile

[delbert]

At least they serve the recipes they say they will....

:lol:

[ageing hammer]

At least they serve the recipes they say they will....

[Hammers Dad]

Warning lights popping up on my car (TRC OFF and VCS).
Call the RAC and the chap gives all the possibilities including ABS, Suspension and something else I can't remember as all I could see was pound disappearing from my bank.....
Takes the spark plugs out and they are wet...dries them off, dries out the bit they go in and everything is working fine.

[-DL-]

Had a bus come in to the garage tonight with a drunk on it, and the driver was too much of a wuss to try and wake him up and get him off, so in to the office he comes and gets me.

I gave it a go, but the bloke was just too trashed. Wasn't moving or f*** all. It got to a point where I thought he may be in a bit of bother. So, as per usual of a weekend, I've had to phone the local bobbies to get the **** off. They were surprisingly quick in coming, and an officer started giving the bloke a little slap round the face to wake him up. He woke up alright and started to kick off and go a bit mental.

The officer pointed him towards the front doors, but the drunk bloke refused and tried to be a smart arse and say he has to get off the rear doors. He started shouting and screaming abuse, threatening to smash them if they were not opened in 10 seconds. So Mr Drunk starts his from ten countdown whilst I take a fairly slow walk down to the cab to press the button. My timing was to perfection, (more by luck than design) and they opened just as Mr Drunk lauched a flying kick at them and he flew out the bus landing on the crash barrier in the garage next to where the bus was parked, with one leg either side of and crunching his nuts rather hard.

You probably had to be there, but make it smile it did. Actually, not strictly true. Me and the local fuzz were in hysterics, and the high pitched screech he gave upon landing on his knackers will live with me for ever...

[Samba]

Warning lights popping up on my car (TRC OFF and VCS).
Call the RAC and the chap gives all the possibilities including ABS, Suspension and something else I can't remember as all I could see was pound disappearing from my bank.....
Takes the spark plugs out and they are wet...dries them off, dries out the bit they go in and everything is working fine.

Had your engine steam-cleaned lately, HD?
It's a bugger for doing that.

[fmgod]

Disgusting you have to deal with that DL

[delbert]

Had a bus come in to the garage tonight with a drunk on it, and the driver was too much of a wuss to try and wake him up and get him off, so in to the office he comes and gets me.

I gave it a go, but the bloke was just too trashed. Wasn't moving or **** all. It got to a point where I thought he may be in a bit of bother. So, as per usual of a weekend, I've had to phone the local bobbies to get the **** off. They were surprisingly quick in coming, and an officer started giving the bloke a little slap round the face to wake him up. He woke up alright and started to kick off and go a bit mental.

The officer pointed him towards the front doors, but the drunk bloke refused and tried to be a smart arse and say he has to get off the rear doors. He started shouting and screaming abuse, threatening to smash them if they were not opened in 10 seconds. So Mr Drunk starts his from ten countdown whilst I take a fairly slow walk down to the cab to press the button. My timing was to perfection, (more by luck than design) and they opened just as Mr Drunk lauched a flying kick at them and he flew out the bus landing on the crash barrier in the garage next to where the bus was parked, with one leg either side of and crunching his nuts rather hard.

You probably had to be there, but make it smile it did. Actually, not strictly true. Me and the local fuzz were in hysterics, and the high pitched screech he gave upon landing on his knackers will live with me for ever...

The drivers used to leave them for the cleaners to sort out on the run in. They'd get one chance to wake up, if they didn't then the cleaners would open the windows all around him then take the bus through the wash........ :lol:

[-DL-]

Disgusting you have to deal with that DL

Unfortunately, it's all to common. That was the second piss-head of my shift. Granted that the other one was out en-route, but to quote Sir Tom of Jones, it's not unusual.

The drivers used to leave them for the cleaners to sort out on the run in. They'd get one chance to wake up, if they didn't then the cleaners would open the windows all around him then take the bus through the wash........ :lol:

The drivers still leave the buggers on there Delbs, only we're no longer allowed to give them a little wet wake up call.

Not for the drunk's safety, but because it means a bus with soaking wet seats can't run in the morning :lol:

[Hammers Dad]

Had your engine steam-cleaned lately, HD?
It's a bugger for doing that.

No, wouldn't bother with that.
The chap said it was rain seepage as we have had a lot recently and it has managed to get under the engine cover and find it's way in

[FreeWheeling]

Top work -DL- :lol:

[westham,eggyandchips]

Mass hysteria bubbling up nicely in the January Transfer Thread. I genuinely think people may explode come Thursday and we haven’t signed Messi, Bale and Neymar.

[Monkeybubbles]

Drivers announcement on the train today....

"We apologise for the lack of heating on the train today. This is because there is no heating."

[S-H]

Mass hysteria bubbling up nicely in the January Transfer Thread. I genuinely think people may explode come Thursday and we haven’t signed Messi, Bale and Neymar.

Just sit back with some popcorn, and watch it all unfold.

The annual Kumb transfer thread meltdown epitomizes the transfer window, for me.

Sky Sports News are missing a trick.

[Johnny Byrne's Boots]

Yep. I really don't know what people expect. At the start of the window I posted the prophetic warnings from Birmingham City supporters and so far everything has followed the script. Just accept we won't sign anyone but will still be fed a litany of names, none of which will materialise.

Accept it for what it is, sit back and watch the spiral into meltdown.

[FreeWheeling]

Had to laugh
Ordered a new bed mattress online after testing in the shops, 5% off online, every little helps and all that
received an email today with a delivery date of 31st December . . . . 2030 :lol:

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

Arsenal fans :lol:

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[S-H]

Arsenal fans :lol:

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Brilliant!

[Monkeybubbles]

Monkeybubbles Jr Sr.

What a feckin racket.

http://www.dummymag.com/new-music/premi ... eez-libido

[badabing]

Arsenal fans :lol:

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There was a great thread on here showing numerous clips of the helmets frothing at the mouth, made my day, especially the guy trying to set fire to his home shirt in his back garden.

[CMNinja]

Monkeybubbles Jr Sr.

What a feckin racket.

http://www.dummymag.com/new-music/premi ... eez-libido

If I was young, it'd probably sound quite good. The link did give me something to smile about tho - try hard music journalism: "probably how a dancehall/bashment inspired heater would sound like millions of light years away within a spacecraft". Eh?

Edit: and thanks to you and your son for prompting my 1000th post - only taken four years and I don't think there's been a useful one in the whole lot. That's a little thing that makes me smile. Cheers KUMB!