Things you've always wanted to know......

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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby Monkeybubbles on Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:17 pm

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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby sendô on Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:33 pm

Ah the beer compass, I've had a few times I couldn't even stand and yet have managed to walk home from about 2 miles away and barely remember the journey.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby JerseyHammer on Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:48 pm

That really is one thing I've always wanted to know!

I've walked through some pretty dodgy areas to get back and only been mugged once (walked through the dodgy part of La Linea on my way back to Gib)

I did once wake up in the cells in Jersey. No idea how I ended up there, still pissed and with nothing in my pockets. Must have been 8 or 9 am. Started to get very worried so banged the door a few times. A lady appears.

'hi, um, what exactly have I done?'

'oh nothing - the police on patrol found you passed out, leaning against the emergency exit of a nightclub. Looks like you were trying to get in! You were actually quite polite when you arrived here, didn't want to cause a fuss, but we couldn't work out where you lived and you had trouble telling us'

Much apologising later, opens the door and off I go :oops:
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Wed Apr 18, 2018 5:27 am

JerseyHammer wrote:The time I succeeded, I hadn't really eaten for quite a while before as it was one of those classic moments when you have absolutely no plans to drink whatsoever and actually need to be in some sort of shape the following day. My arm tends to twist without too much persuasion and it sounded pretty easy.

The hour of power was relatively easy from what I remember, I found it hit me like a train after that. Also, if you really want her to make a scene, use Stella or something nice and potent!!


I did it the other day. Me and a mate went to the local Wetherspoons and ordered several rounds of beer and two shot glasses. He had pints of Shipyard and I had several bottles of Tuchers which is a weissbier. We ploughed on and for the first 15 minutes I began thinking that this doesn't work. Even another mate who was with us was drinking his pint faster, as we poured out the small amounts in the shot glasses. However, around the 20min mark it became apparent that we were indeed starting to drink faster than him.
Around the 30min I started to feel it a bit. Very slightly tipsy but not roaring drunk. The 40min mark was something else, I started to feel quite drunk and very bloated too which I put down to the fizz of the weissbier. By the 50min mark, yep I was pissed but not your normal type of pissed, it was a real heavy type of drunk where it felt like I'd been on the lash for a good few hours. The minutes started to come round a hell of a lot quicker, or so it seemed and by 55mins I was starting to think, **** this, I've had enough and this really wasn't a good idea. My mate powered on through and forced me to finish. By the full hour, I was proper drunk, felt sick and really bloated.
The weirdest thing was, I stopped drinking on the hour, gave it another hour and felt OK. Slightly drunk, but not as bloated and vomitty and I'd felt earlier. Really strange.

I'd started this without drinking anything at all and I'm starting to think that the shot glasses they use in the wetherspoons are slightly smaller than normal shot glasses. The beer I was drinking was over 5% so I'm not sure if that made up for it. I'd probably try bigger shot glasses if I was going to try it again.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby JerseyHammer on Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:40 am

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote: He had pints of Shipyard and I had several bottles of Tuchers which is a weissbier. We ploughed on and for the first 15 minutes I began thinking that this doesn't work.

I'd started this without drinking anything at all and I'm starting to think that the shot glasses they use in the wetherspoons are slightly smaller than normal shot glasses. The beer I was drinking was over 5% so I'm not sure if that made up for it. I'd probably try bigger shot glasses if I was going to try it again.


Yeah I'd never be able to get near completing it on weissbier, I seem to remember using Fosters or some other crappy lager like that. It's so weird how it creeps up on you then before you know it, minutes later, go from feeling ok, to completely f****d!

Also, this was all during my student days when my pub fitness was pretty high. 12 years later, I barely drink 3 pints a week, though over here in Italy that makes me a borderline alcoholic as they will happily sit around nursing the same glass of wine for 3 hours, once a week. They just cannot get their heads around how much us Brits like a booze up, and it's made me realise how much we do drink.

Jersey is even worse, per head consumption of alcohol is almost 3 times higher than the UK (!!) - you see it all on a Friday night. Fund managers in charge of millions of pounds of investments, absolutely w******d at the bar unable to put a sentence together. Alderney (another of the Channel Islands) was the worse place I've ever been to. Everyone (all 2000 of them) had a strawberry nose. Some of the locals were just nicknamed after their favourite tipple.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Apr 18, 2018 9:05 am

Nice one GCRO.

Centurion, next?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Apr 18, 2018 10:53 am

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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby sendô on Wed Apr 18, 2018 1:41 pm

Apparently there is more than one way to skin a cat, so just how many ways are there and what are they?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby ageing hammer on Wed Apr 18, 2018 3:59 pm

somerset-hammer wrote:[url]

Yes, I know I'm going to hell!



On the face of it :D
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby irving boleyn on Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:32 pm

That sounds like some kind of self inflicted punishment GCRO...

Doesn't sound much fun.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby the celestial insect on Sat Apr 21, 2018 4:08 pm

Just heard a news item about a concert this evening for the Queen's 92nd birthday, which will feature Sting, Kylie Minogue, and Tom Jones, among others. What I'd like to know is whether the Queen gets a say about who appears at these sorts of things. I can't imagine she'd especially want some of these acts. Surely she ought to be allowed to choose?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby DasNutNock on Sat Apr 21, 2018 5:10 pm

the celestial insect wrote:Just heard a news item about a concert this evening for the Queen's 92nd birthday, which will feature Sting, Kylie Minogue, and Tom Jones, among others. What I'd like to know is whether the Queen gets a say about who appears at these sorts of things. I can't imagine she'd especially want some of these acts. Surely she ought to be allowed to choose?


Napalm Death, Old Lady Drivers and Anal C*nt weren’t available.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby vietnammer on Sat Apr 21, 2018 5:21 pm

DasNutNock wrote:Napalm Death, Old Lady Drivers and Anal C*nt weren’t available.


They'd have been Philip's choices anyway. "Will you turn that awful racket orff dear"
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby vietnammer on Sat Apr 21, 2018 7:50 pm

They ARE frogs. Where'd these ****ing frogs come from? It's as dry as a bone round here most of the year :?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby Cuenca 'ammer on Sat Apr 21, 2018 8:24 pm

Plagues of Egypt

This is what the great LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs. They will come up into your palace and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the houses of your officials and on your people, and into your ovens and kneading troughs. The frogs will go up on you and your people and all your officials.

Probably had someone like me as the navigator ?????


:lol:
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby Samba on Sat Apr 21, 2018 10:35 pm

vietnammer wrote:They ARE frogs. Where'd these ****ing frogs come from? It's as dry as a bone round here most of the year :?

Another sign that it's, 'The End Of Days'.
Expect The Rapture next week..
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby vietnammer on Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:17 am

Wasn't some herbert predicting 'the rapture' for this year? Heard Bet 365 were offering 3/1 it's Jesus, 8/2 it's Rama and 10/1 Ahura Mazda. No accumulators with the monotheists of course.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf6jBP4YXwo
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby -DL- on Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:10 pm

Where have all the birds gone in Central London? The feathered kind that is. The statues don't seem to be covered in **** anymore - and after spending the past 5 days doing absolutely bugger all whilst sitting on the top of an open top bus going round and round The City - a few of us were talking about the distinct lack of birds.

Where have they all gone?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby DasNutNock on Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:04 pm

How do so many people make it to adulthood without learning to take any adult responsibility? Self-reliance, being dependable, accepting reason and logic etc. I know loads of people in their 40s that aren't even on vaguely nodding terms with those things.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Postby Rocketron on Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:54 pm

Why do we refer to a reaction to pollen Hayfever, when hay isn't made until the Autumn?
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