Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

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Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby freelander on Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:35 pm

I'm not talking University Challenge or 15-1 or The Chase

I'm talking more of Pub/Fun quizzes like you may have on holiday

Funniest question:

Q: 'What are you said to be full of if you are crapulous'
A: 'An excess of food or drink'

Funniest answer:

Q: 'What anniversary do you celebrate after 25 years'
A: '26'

:D
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby White Goodman on Tue Apr 18, 2017 7:04 pm

Me and a mate were in a pub quiz night years ago next to two ****wits with a team name of The Gooners.

We were marking their paper for the True or False round and discovered they'd put 'don' t know ' for about half the answers the stupid ****ing *****
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby cambridge hammer on Tue Apr 18, 2017 7:09 pm

What was John Cleese original family surname name. (a) Cheese (which it apparently was) (b) cheddar (c) bread or (d) butter. The bloke on the next table said "I can't believe it's not butter"
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby Bamber Gascoigne on Tue Apr 18, 2017 7:15 pm

freelander wrote:I'm not talking University Challenge or 15-1 or The Chase.....


Apologies, but I'll have to make an exception there, as my favourite is still from the latters "cash builder" round:

Bradley Walsh: What film contained the famous line "You're gonna need a bigger boat"?

Contestant: Titanic?

:lol:
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby Hammer.CA on Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:04 pm

Taken from Jeopardy, a US quiz show in the last couple of years, the subject was 'World Cheeses'
Alex Trebek (host) "A famous cheese that has the same name as a gorge?"
"Contestant "What is Edam".
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby Hammers Dad on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:45 am

Wasn't there one the other week from American Wheel of Fortune where he had:

A Streetcar Na*ed Desire

and he said "Naked"?
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:54 am

not a quiz

but when i was in the corporate boxes at arsenal the other week a woman looked at her phone and said ' omg did you know barry manilow is gay ? '

i said to her ' you know who else is - that julian clary chap - you would never guess would you '
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby uptonparkhurst on Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:50 am

FAMILY FORTUNES
Q: Name a part of the body beginning with "N"
A: KNEE

http://www.ukgameshows.com/ukgs/Family_Fortunes_Cockups
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby Hammer.CA on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:08 am

I was ****ing through the channels the other night and Bullseye was on (honestly)
Jim Bowen "First published in 1988 and spent (however) many weeks on the bestseller list, who wrote A Brief History Of Time?"
Contestant "Isaac Newton".
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby fjthegrey on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:14 am

A friend of mine did a quiz for our football presentation evening. One of the questions,

"I have taken our team picture round the town centre and asked 100 women to pick which team member, management included, they think would be the best in bed. Who did the majority vote for?"

He didn't ask anyone, just made up the answer. It turned out to be the assistant manager who we all absolutely loved. Knows the most about football of nearly anyone I've ever met and is the absolute spitting image of Ned Flanders.
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:30 am

google family fortunes funniest answers
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby ageing hammer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:59 am

I hope this doesn't come across as racist appologies in advance mods please delete if not appropriate.

I was in the audience during a work pub quiz night back in the 1980's and there was a short break in the final to get a few drinks in before the final round of questions.

A few of us were asking each other 6 marker tough questions to see if we could answer any, just passing the time etc..

A bloke behind me leaned forward and said " I have one for you lot "

"Who was the first black person to fly non stop across the Atlantic Ocean"

We hadn't an idea so we gave up.

He answered " All cock and Brown " :D
Last edited by ageing hammer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby ageing hammer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:20 pm

I remember a bloke on RTE radio 2 fm one time doing a phone in quiz.

Larry Gogan had him on his 60 second quiz.

His question to win was: " Where is the Taj Mahal "


The Dublin bloke answered " It's across the road from the Dental Hospital "

They ended up giving him the prize as there actually was a takeaway there :D
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby aboycalleddave on Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:36 pm

ageing hammer wrote:I remember a bloke on RTE radio 2 fm one time doing a phone in quiz.

Larry Gogan had him on his 60 second quiz.

His question to win was: " Where is the Taj Mahal "


The Dublin bloke answered " It's across the road from the Dental Hospital "

They ended up giving him the prize as there actually was a takeaway there :D



same programme;

'complete the following saying..'as happy as .......?'

'A pig in *****'

'Yes, I think I can accept that'
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby Shy Ted on Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:50 am

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM ( but deserves 100)
 
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby sendô on Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:13 am

I'm calling fake on all of the above. The first give away being that Napoleon didn't die in battle.
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby fjthegrey on Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:27 am

sendô wrote:I'm calling fake on all of the above. The first give away being that Napoleon didn't die in battle.

The second being that any school which makes students sit an exam with those questions should be closed, today.
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby DasNutNock on Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:36 am

Aye. Total balls, that one.
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby Shy Ted on Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:51 am

Yeah could be fake, but it is funny.
You miserable gits
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Re: Funniest quiz question or answer you've heard

Postby WHU_Del on Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:57 am

Nicky Campbell used to do the 'Number 9' quiz on his Radio 1 show. The contestant had a choice of three categories and had to name nine answers in the category that they picked.
One day, the contestant chose 'French Kings'.
'OK', says Nicky, 'in thirty seconds, name nine French kings'.
'Louis the First, Louis the Second, Louis the Third...'
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