Your Worst Chat Up Line .

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Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:33 pm

I've never been one for chat up lines - but when I was around 14 or 15 I had fallen for this girl - she owned a horse and as I was walking home taking a short cut through a field near our house I saw her sitting atop her pony as he stood there munching away on some grass . I desperately wanted to ask her out but couldn't think of anything to say apart from ...' Eating grass is he ? ' .
Makes me cringe still . :oops:

It did work though .

Were you ever stuck for something to say when trying to chat someone up ?
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Burningaham on Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:36 pm

Can I jump in your knickers, I've **** in mine
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby nickkarkie on Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:44 pm

Are you Jamaican? 'cause Jamaican me crazy.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:13 pm

nickkarkie wrote:Are you Jamaican? 'cause Jamaican me crazy.


:lol: That one's worse than mine - but I will be using Burningham's at the next opportunity .
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby nickkarkie on Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:21 pm

I thought that was the point haha.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby tall paul on Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:55 pm

My names Bond, unibond, I'm here to fill your crack 8-)
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Clacton-ammer on Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:37 am

If you was Captain Kirks phaser, you would be set to stun.

I have used this many times, believe it or not, it has been successful :lol:
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby yonni on Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:43 am

A Danish friend told me how to say "Shall we exchange underwear", or something very close too it back in the 80s. I used it twice, once it worked in a that it got us talking and then we went home together. Another time a really cute Danish girl, who was going out with a mate, called my bluff and made me swap pants with her there and then. I did but there followed a weird hour of us running around very drunk, in each other's grunts before we both sheepishly said, "shall we just change back again". Nothing ever happened with her because of my mate. Shame as she was gorgeous and fun, like having a sexy best mate. I wasn't trying to cop off with her we were all just very drunk,
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby BalaamBoy on Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:59 am

You've got lovely eyebrows . . . .

(seriously)
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:14 am

You're ugly.. but you intrigue me.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby mushy on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:16 am

In the youth club many moons ago, girl I fancied was walking past on the way back from the loo.
Blurted out the first thing that came into my head in order to impress.
'Had a good ****?'

It didn't work.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:21 am

I remember I said to some girl she looked like Camilla Parker-Bowles.

She burst into tears and told me to **** off ...

:fsake:
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Hammers Dad on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:34 am

"I've got the house to myself, fancy coming back and cooking me breakfast?"

It worked, she did and we've been married 27 years
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby ageing hammer on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:41 am

tall paul wrote:My names Bond, unibond, I'm here to fill your crack



:D
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby fjthegrey on Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:42 am

"May I say, that's a smashing blouse you have on."

Doesn't matter what they are wearing. Frustrating when it establishes conversations as I usually say it in an attempt to provoke funny looks and people thinking I'm weird, which it usually does.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:16 am

tall paul wrote:My names Bond, unibond, I'm here to fill your crack



The Gold Medal for Chat Up Lines . :)
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby pablo jaye on Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:24 am

fjthegrey wrote:"May I say, that's a smashing blouse you have on."


Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?

Nothing like a Rik Mayall chat-up line to guarantee hilarious failure!
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:49 am

i once said to an absolute stunning asian babe that was out of my league ' whats a nice girl like you doing in a place like this '

she said ' thats the worst chat up line ever '

i said 'yer, but it worked though didnt it '

then she said ' yeah '

Much to my amazement

bought her a drink and did lots of rude things to her later that night

my two pals both got blanked by Sharon & Tracey (2 of the roughest birds i have ever seen) after grafting them all night

just goes to show aim high chaps
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby fjthegrey on Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:57 am

Actually what it goes to show is that just talking to someone, and not coming across like an instant retard, is about 98% of the task.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby DasNutNock on Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:08 am

Chatting to a girl in some boozer years ago, she, rather drunkenly, drew my attention to her shoes, which were very nice but seemed to have a fairly complicated heel/sole that looked like they'd be fairly challenging to wear. I asked if she found them difficult to walk in, because I'm a smooth operator like that, and she spent the next 5 minutes loudly scoffing and complaining at my idiotic question.

As we left the bar later on that night, she tripped over the aforementioned shoes, and took a magnificent swan dive onto the kerb. When I finished laughing, she told me to f*ck off, but I still got her in bed that night.
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