|Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.
I've never been one for chat up lines - but when I was around 14 or 15 I had fallen for this girl - she owned a horse and as I was walking home taking a short cut through a field near our house I saw her sitting atop her pony as he stood there munching away on some grass . I desperately wanted to ask her out but couldn't think of anything to say apart from ...' Eating grass is he ? ' .
Makes me cringe still .
It did work though .
Were you ever stuck for something to say when trying to chat someone up ?
A Danish friend told me how to say "Shall we exchange underwear", or something very close too it back in the 80s. I used it twice, once it worked in a that it got us talking and then we went home together. Another time a really cute Danish girl, who was going out with a mate, called my bluff and made me swap pants with her there and then. I did but there followed a weird hour of us running around very drunk, in each other's grunts before we both sheepishly said, "shall we just change back again". Nothing ever happened with her because of my mate. Shame as she was gorgeous and fun, like having a sexy best mate. I wasn't trying to cop off with her we were all just very drunk,
In the youth club many moons ago, girl I fancied was walking past on the way back from the loo.
Blurted out the first thing that came into my head in order to impress.
'Had a good ****?'
It didn't work.
"May I say, that's a smashing blouse you have on."
Doesn't matter what they are wearing. Frustrating when it establishes conversations as I usually say it in an attempt to provoke funny looks and people thinking I'm weird, which it usually does.
Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?
Nothing like a Rik Mayall chat-up line to guarantee hilarious failure!
i once said to an absolute stunning asian babe that was out of my league ' whats a nice girl like you doing in a place like this '
she said ' thats the worst chat up line ever '
i said 'yer, but it worked though didnt it '
then she said ' yeah '
Much to my amazement
bought her a drink and did lots of rude things to her later that night
my two pals both got blanked by Sharon & Tracey (2 of the roughest birds i have ever seen) after grafting them all night
just goes to show aim high chaps
Chatting to a girl in some boozer years ago, she, rather drunkenly, drew my attention to her shoes, which were very nice but seemed to have a fairly complicated heel/sole that looked like they'd be fairly challenging to wear. I asked if she found them difficult to walk in, because I'm a smooth operator like that, and she spent the next 5 minutes loudly scoffing and complaining at my idiotic question.
As we left the bar later on that night, she tripped over the aforementioned shoes, and took a magnificent swan dive onto the kerb. When I finished laughing, she told me to f*ck off, but I still got her in bed that night.