Your Worst Chat Up Line .

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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby somerset-hammer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:38 pm

I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby FreeWheeling on Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:58 pm

Brummy mate of mine

"Gis a go on yer"
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby -DL- on Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:58 pm

'I'd love to take you to a restaurant that serves free range duck. As I can't afford that, |'ll let you suck my cock, as that wild and foul (fowl)...'
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby lewisham-mer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:39 pm

I am sooooooo glad I don't have this palarva!

We're more straightforward: "f**k you're hot. Up for it?" That's about as romantic as it gets...

Then it's the rigmarole of who's gonna host...
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby RichieRiv on Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:59 pm

If I were to make the alphabet I'd put you and I together.

I was slightly more subtle and told my missus "I don't arf fancy you" whilst ****ed on JD. It did the trick.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby simonpaulthomas on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:39 pm

"You smell nice, what's your name?"

Unbelievably this worked once... thank **** for Welsh girls 8-)
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby southbrishammer on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:44 pm

A friend of Mrs SBH recently shared on Facebook her experiences of online dating; the best response she got went something like: "I've got a date with a girl I really fancy coming up but I need to drop my load, is your spunk bucket open for training purposes?"

It seems the young man in question was not successful on this occasion.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby vietnammer on Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:34 am

"Can I sit next to you, cos you've got lovely big tits"

Didn't work but didn't get walloped either. I was very drunk.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:52 am

Cockneyboy311 wrote:
I love that. How could he possibly not look at me all evening? I'm amazing! He must be gay. Talk about love yourself!

Still, you filled your boots though TOMOS right?


She was the prettiest of the lot as it happens - but yeah , true story , thought I was gay because I couldn't be bothered joining in with the rest of the lads .
I did meet up with her a few times afterwards but I was living in halls of residence in Hatfield and she came from a wealthy family in Bishop's Stortford - a few weeks later I was picked up by another girl at the Poly and I never quite got round to letting her go , unlike Randolph ....she was a Keeper . :)
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby uptonparkhurst on Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:36 pm

One that worked for my brother:

You've got great legs
What about the rest of me?
I'm working my way up
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:43 pm

uptonparkhurst wrote:One that worked for my brother:

You've got great legs
What about the rest of me?
I'm working my way up


I like that one .
It's about being cheeky without being downright smutty , you've got to get it just right .
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby warp on Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:49 pm

^ you mean "what time do they open?" would be pushing a bit too much?
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby DasNutNock on Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:57 pm

Image
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby 'Appy 'Ammer on Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:40 pm

Don't get famous chaps. In a few years you might get rolfed
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Sat Apr 22, 2017 8:43 am

"Alright ****" worked with a young lady before.

To be fair, I did overhear her friends laughing and joking saying it to her/with her for some reason and after they stopped a bit I walked over and just timed it perfectly when it could have gone so horribly wrong.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Rio on Sun Apr 23, 2017 11:21 am

'You don't half look like that bird from Home & Away'

It took a few weeks but eventually saw sense. Followed by me a few weeks after that when I realised she was a mentalist
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby vietnammer on Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:15 pm

lewisham-mer wrote:I am sooooooo glad I don't have this palarva!

We're more straightforward: "f**k you're hot. Up for it?" That's about as romantic as it gets...

Then it's the rigmarole of who's gonna host...


Have heard that gay blokes (not women) are a bit more direct and functional. I fell akip on Stratford Stn. in the early 90's, about 4am and it was deserted, to be awoken by a bloke leaning over me saying:

"You'll probably get up and hit me for saying this, but do you want your cock sucked?"

Kind of came to and said "Sorry mate, I'm not gay" and he realised I wasn't going to go macho and hit him.

Must have chosen me cos there was no other ****er around!
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby the celestial insect on Sun Apr 23, 2017 2:14 pm

vietnammer wrote:Must have chosen me cos there was no other ****er around!


More likely the 'Ask Me For Sex' t-shirt and leather hotpants you were wearing :wink:
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby vietnammer on Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:18 pm

:lol:

Why is it that 'gay' is always associated with pervy hardcore stuff, be it clothes or behaviour? I my exp of gay colleagues (don't have any openly gay friends), they can be quite staid, conventional types specially when they're in long-term relationships
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby the celestial insect on Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:18 pm

vietnammer wrote::lol:

Why is it that 'gay' is always associated with pervy hardcore stuff, be it clothes or behaviour? I my exp of gay colleagues (don't have any openly gay friends), they can be quite staid, conventional types specially when they're in long-term relationships


I suppose it's because people who are into the 'scene' and dress in a certain way stand out and are noticed. There's the stereotype. The average Joes, the majority, just blend in with everyone else and are invisible. I was going to say it's like supporting West Ham -- if you're not wearing colours, people wouldn't know. But that's not quite true. There's that look of eternal despair we've all got...
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