Your Worst Chat Up Line .

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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:21 am

The Best chat up line on Sheppey......

If you was my daughter, I'd still be bathing you. :fsake:
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Monkeybubbles on Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:30 pm

DasNutNock wrote:Chatting to a girl in some boozer years ago, she, rather drunkenly, drew my attention to her shoes, which were very nice but seemed to have a fairly complicated heel/sole that looked like they'd be fairly challenging to wear. I asked if she found them difficult to walk in, because I'm a smooth operator like that, and she spent the next 5 minutes loudly scoffing and complaining at my idiotic question.

As we left the bar later on that night, she tripped over the aforementioned shoes, and took a magnificent swan dive onto the kerb. When I finished laughing, she told me to f*ck off, but I still got her in bed that night.


Yeah, when they've got rickets they're normally pretty grateful.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby DasNutNock on Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:24 pm

Eesh. I shouldn't have just googled rickets. I thought that Simpsons bit where Burns blocks out the sun was just a joke:

Image
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby sendô on Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:31 pm

Mate of mine once pulled a bird with the immoral chat up line "fxxk me you're an ugly cxxt".

To be fair to him, she was.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Dave Hedgehog on Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:34 pm

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Or:

I can tell you're going to get laid tonight.
How?
Because I'm stronger than you.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:01 pm

DasNutNock wrote:Chatting to a girl in some boozer years ago, she, rather drunkenly, drew my attention to her shoes, which were very nice but seemed to have a fairly complicated heel/sole that looked like they'd be fairly challenging to wear. I asked if she found them difficult to walk in, because I'm a smooth operator like that, and she spent the next 5 minutes loudly scoffing and complaining at my idiotic question.

As we left the bar later on that night, she tripped over the aforementioned shoes, and took a magnificent swan dive onto the kerb. When I finished laughing, she told me to f*ck off, but I still got her in bed that night.


Rohypnol is great
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby 3times on Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:40 pm

Many years ago said to the bird next to me at the bar 'can you sit on my face and wiggle'

My mate started apologising for me but within the hour she did!!
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby the celestial insect on Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:09 pm

When I was about 9, I was friendly with a girl who lived two doors down. I had a real crush on her, and she'd given me to think that she liked me a lot too. One Sunday, I called for her and she wouldn't come out because she was watching the series 'Jesus of Nazareth' on telly. I said: 'Who's more important, me or Jesus of Nazareth?'.

I didn't realise the ridiculousness of the comment at the time (being only 9), but I've never forgotten it, and I think it made me too embarrassed to ever ask a girl out again.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Hugh Jargon II on Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:49 am

fjthegrey wrote:"May I say, that's a smashing blouse you have on."

Doesn't matter what they are wearing. Frustrating when it establishes conversations as I usually say it in an attempt to provoke funny looks and people thinking I'm weird, which it usually does.



Used that myself. Another Rik classic I've used is...." do you wash your hair with timotea?"
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Al the Airborne Dog on Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:46 am

I always use 'if you want it badly, I am definitely the man who can give it to you badly', they always laugh but it never works funnily enough.

Around Valentines Day this year there was a young Asian girl I work with banging on about a compliment a bloke had given her. He said to her 'if you had an identical twin sister, I would still pick you'.

I went back to her with 'if you had an identical twin sister, I would ask for a threesome'. I just couldn't understand why she wasn't impressed!! Women hey, always a mystery.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Sauce! on Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:58 am

Do you like beef?
Well suck on this, it's dripping.


Do you like chicken?
Well suck on this, it's foul (fowl).

You get the idea. :oops:
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby WoodfordJnr on Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:15 am

This isn't my line and i'm pretty sure it wasn't my friends either .. but after a very heavy session in the pub and gone to the local club i genuinely heard my mate say this to a bird ... "Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material."

i have never laughed so much in my life, dont think ive ever seen anyone cringe so bad.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:50 am

fjthegrey wrote:Actually what it goes to show is that just talking to someone, and not coming across like an instant retard, is about 98% of the task.


Absolutely. Just be the best version of yourself.

fjthegrey wrote:"May I say, that's a smashing blouse you have on."

Hugh Jargon II wrote:Used that myself. Another Rik classic I've used is...." do you wash your hair with timotea?"


Intriguingly, these could probably qualify as 'negs'.
If anyone has done any reading into the art of picking up women, social interaction, NLP; Mystery Method, The Game etc, then they'll know about it. (I suspect you may well have some knowledge of it FJ, from a general interest rather than a quest for guidance!)

A neg is something that almost sounds like a compliment, so cannot have offence taken from it, but at the same time almost sounds like a put down and throws someone well off guard.

"Those look like really comfortable shoes"
"You have a very interesting sense of humour"
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby fmgod on Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:30 am

rare as rockinghorse shat wrote:
Intriguingly, these could probably qualify as 'negs'.
If anyone has done any reading into the art of picking up women, social interaction, NLP; Mystery Method, The Game etc, then they'll know about it. (I suspect you may well have some knowledge of it FJ, from a general interest rather than a quest for guidance!)

A neg is something that almost sounds like a compliment, so cannot have offence taken from it, but at the same time almost sounds like a put down and throws someone well off guard.

"Those look like really comfortable shoes"
"You have a very interesting sense of humour"


Also very useful in work, especially like I use to not using negs but if you've got someone who acts like a robot ie they only have meetings where they know exactly what they are going to say etc, then take them totally off topic or fire questions at them
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby fjthegrey on Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:45 am

I've not read those books but I'm aware of the psychological process.

It essentially presumes (quite correctly in my opinion) that virtually everybody has wavering self confidence. The idea is to pay a compliment to something in a way that makes it seems as though that compliment is fairly unique and not one that everybody would make. It imbues an element of self doubt onto the individual as well as establishing you as particularly observant and interested in them.

I remember having someone explain negging to me when I was young, having read the game or one of those other books. They literally hadn't grasped a single element of how the process worked. They seemed to think that just consistently putting the other person down, as well as blanking them, would work in some sort of reverse psychology cluster bomb. He refused to accept my explanation that people, above all else, have an inert desire to feel wanted and subtly catering to that desire, without totally gratifying it as fully as you perhaps want to, is likely to wield vastly more successful results.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:32 am

Yep. Absolutely agree.
The books etc, it's a very exact science, one which I find interesting and useful from a general social dynamics point of view, but not comfortable with as it essentially gets you to play a character which is far to contrived and separated from your own.

The general gist however - which I guess your friend missed out on - is to essentially just be yourself, be nice, be friendly, but take a few risks, remaining the most interesting and funny version of yourself that you can be.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:45 am

rare as rockinghorse shat wrote:Yep. Absolutely agree.
The books etc, it's a very exact science, one which I find interesting and useful from a general social dynamics point of view, but not comfortable with as it essentially gets you to play a character which is far to contrived and separated from your own.

The general gist however - which I guess your friend missed out on - is to essentially just be yourself, be nice, be friendly, but take a few risks, remaining the most interesting and funny version of yourself that you can be.


yep - this is the worst chat up line i have ever heard unless youve just banged fj that is ??
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby fjthegrey on Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:12 pm

rare as rockinghorse shat wrote:The general gist however is to essentially just be yourself, be nice, be friendly, but take a few risks, remaining the most interesting and funny version of yourself that you can be.

I have stated this fact to some of the serial daters in my friendship group, as well as those who clearly alter their behaviour in the presence of their partner. You'll never be able to hide yourself forever and you'll never be truly satisfied that the other person actually likes you when you've contrived a character you think they'll like.

I've had conversations with various people about the commonly held idea that relationships start to change a year or two into their run. I think it's fair to say that a lot of relationships end around the 18 month mark as an average. I am utterly convinced that this is the period of time which needs to lapse in order for people to revert to their genuine character. The curtain coming down, house lights coming up and people remembering where they actually are.

If you like sitting in your pants, eating crisps and watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air in your free time, you need to find someone else who likes doing that as well, or at the very least someone who doesn't mind the fact you enjoy doing it.

I wonder if technology is making this kind of thing worse. The importance of the projected image over the substance of the reality etc.
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:44 pm

Of course , the reverse side to ' chatting up ' is ' being chatted up ' -

During my student days I went to a pub in Hertford [ The Black Horse ] with my usual group of mates along with a friend of mine who had travelled all the way from Builth Wells to see me [ an old Bank colleague ] .
Upon entering the pub we saw a group of girls sitting at one of the tables - a few pints later all my mates bar my old colleague and I went over to the young ladies to chat them up , - my mate and I remained at the bar for much of the evening talking mostly of our drunken exploits back in Holyhead where we had worked together .
Eventually my mate and I went over to where my other friends and the young ladies were sitting , two minutes later one of the girls comes over to me showing obvious interest and we arrange to see each other the following week . She told me that she took interest in me because I had ignored her all night and thought I must have been gay .
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Re: Your Worst Chat Up Line .

Postby Cockneyboy311 on Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:29 pm

The Old Man of Storr wrote: She told me that she took interest in me because I had ignored her all night and thought I must have been gay .


I love that. How could he possibly not look at me all evening? I'm amazing! He must be gay. Talk about love yourself!

Still, you filled your boots though TOMOS right? :)
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