Gay

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Gay

Postby cockney farmer on Sat May 13, 2017 1:35 pm

Pride today and I happened to be in town , the one thing that struck me was how many really young , I mean school age young girls we professing their support or claiming to be gay. This is in no way a homophobic topic I was just struck how at that age and stage of development so many would have come to that conclusion about their sexuality.
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Re: Gay

Postby westham,eggyandchips on Sat May 13, 2017 3:02 pm

My wife works with a 17yr old girl that claims to be gay. Always says she "hates men", and yet has never been in relationship with a man/boy.......confuses the hell out of me. :?
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Re: Gay

Postby sendô on Sat May 13, 2017 3:24 pm

Perhaps its post puberty that they realise their sexual orientation, and without society pressuring them into being heterosexual feel more confident about coming out earlier than past generations?
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Re: Gay

Postby the celestial insect on Sat May 13, 2017 3:39 pm

I think those events have a lot of participants who are there to show support, rather than necessarily declaring their orientation. I've never been to one, but that's my impression.
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Re: Gay

Postby Burningaham on Sat May 13, 2017 5:15 pm

My 17 year d posted on her blog a few months ago that she is 'pansexual'.
I have no idea what this is, but judging by the state of her boyfriend I'd say she is somewhat confused right now.
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Re: Gay

Postby sendô on Sat May 13, 2017 8:24 pm

Burningaham wrote:My 17 year d posted on her blog a few months ago that she is 'pansexual'.

Likes doing it with kitchen utensils?
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Re: Gay

Postby James P on Sat May 13, 2017 8:52 pm

I knew I fancied girls at about 8 or 9. Surely gay people know who they fancy about the same time?
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Re: Gay

Postby alkali on Sat May 13, 2017 10:00 pm

I don't think there's any surely...everyone's different and reaches their lifestyle and sexuality in different ways and at different speeds.The worst bit is probably pressure to conform
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Re: Gay

Postby DoubleDave on Sat May 13, 2017 10:08 pm

westham,eggyandchips wrote:My wife works with a 17yr old girl that claims to be gay. Always says she "hates men", and yet has never been in relationship with a man/boy.......confuses the hell out of me. :?

How many gay men proclaim that they hate women?
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Re: Gay

Postby James P on Sat May 13, 2017 10:29 pm

alkali wrote:I don't think there's any surely...everyone's different and reaches their lifestyle and sexuality in different ways and at different speeds.The worst bit is probably pressure to conform


Sorry. I didn't mean everyone knows at the same time or necessarily as I did. I just mean there must be gay people who know very young who they are attracted to just as some straight people do.

I'm certain it doesn't take til adulthood anyway.
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Re: Gay

Postby Hugh Jargon II on Sat May 13, 2017 11:19 pm

I have teenage kids. It's cool to be bi sexual. Apparently.
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Re: Gay

Postby alkali on Sat May 13, 2017 11:30 pm

[/quote]

Sorry. I didn't mean everyone knows at the same time or necessarily as I did. I just mean there must be gay people who know very young who they are attracted to just as some straight people do.

I'm certain it doesn't take til adulthood anyway.[/quote]

No apology needed :thup:
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Re: Gay

Postby lewisham-mer on Sun May 14, 2017 12:00 am

I was 14 when I first started to tell people.

I knew for certain I liked boys from about the age of 9
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Re: Gay

Postby -DL- on Sun May 14, 2017 1:18 am

So from aged 14 you told people you knew for certain you liked 9 year old boys?

I know that's not what you meant, but that's what it looks like the way you've worded it!
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Re: Gay

Postby szola on Sun May 14, 2017 7:30 am

I'd guess most posters on here would remember their first crush that had a sexual undertone to it. My guess would be that it happened earlier that in their 18th year.

read this article about heterosexuality yesterday.

guess this quote can be added to this topic

A few years ago, there began circulating a “man on the street” video, in which the creator asked people if they thought homosexuals were born with their sexual orientations. Responses were varied, with most saying something like, “It’s a combination of nature and nurture.” The interviewer then asked a follow-up question, which was crucial to the experiment: “When did you choose to be straight?” Most were taken back, confessing, rather sheepishly, never to have thought about it. Feeling that their prejudices had been exposed, they ended up swiftly conceding the videographer’s obvious point: gay people were born gay just like straight people were born straight.


It is still easier for girls to talk about their sexuality than boys. Imo it has plenty to do with our view of homosexuality and the porn industries focus on the female actors role vs. the males. One can have sex with both sexes, while the other not.

Children are also reaching puberty earlier (they are fatter) and know more about the world outside.
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Re: Gay

Postby yonni on Sun May 14, 2017 8:45 am

I went on the Edinburgh pride about 15 years ago in support of a friend along with my straight wife and several other straight friends. Some of the guys weren't comfortable and disappeared as the march began. I have to admit thoughts like "what if someone from work sees me and spreads rumours". Anyway, in our group only 2 out of the 7 or 8 of us were actually gay,
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Re: Gay

Postby ironilunga on Sun May 14, 2017 9:02 am

cockney farmer wrote:I mean school age young girls we professing their support or claiming to be gay. I was just struck how at that age and stage of development so many would have come to that conclusion about their sexuality.


I may be wrong but I do think the lines are slightly more blurred where females are concerned. For young girls/women it may feel safer for their first crush or even sexual encounter to be with another female. I am not sure for many this translates to being a lesbian long term.
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Re: Gay

Postby RichieRiv on Sun May 14, 2017 11:35 am

lewisham-mer wrote:I was 14 when I first started to tell people.

I knew for certain I liked boys from about the age of 9



Out of interest do you go to pride marches? The gay fellas I've worked with avoid them like the plague (quote).

The other thing I'd like to know is there really tension between the gay and lesbian communities? This all steps from a sketch on modern family, but when asking gay colleagues they confirmed that they disliked lesbians immensely.
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Re: Gay

Postby lewisham-mer on Sun May 14, 2017 7:15 pm

richie,

I hate going to pride events. The thought of thousands of screaming queens blowing whistles not my ear all day fawning over 80s has-beens who's sole gig each year is churning out their only Hit which reached number 27 in the chart, queuing for an hour for drinks/toilet/manky burger that's been festering in the sun for 6 hours and paying a second mortgage for the privilege...

I used to go in my younger days, when there was something to march/fight for; when it was held at Brockwell Park/Clapham Common.

Now most of the goals have been reached: the end of Section 28, equal marriage and pension rights, being a protected characteristic in the Equality Act 2010, to name a few.

What we should focus our attention on is how our brothers and sisters are treated abroad. I'm sure everyone would be horrified if gay men were being blindfolded, tied up and thrown off buildings, or rounded up in camps with family members forced to execute them. We should be pressuring our own government to pressure/sanction others to stop this.

One of The last taboos is of course eradicating homophobia within football. I don't think it's so much of an issue with the younger generations, but more the 40-55 age group, many (not all) still snigger about backs to the walls, or calling someone a "faggot" if they're not looking to fight someone, or the use of derogatory name calling "get up you poof/ponce) when someone's rolling about on the floor feigning a broken fingernail... that's why players only come out after they have retired. It's sort of similar to the awful abuse back in the 60s that players like the great Clyde Best who had bananas thrown at them and had racist chants. No-one should have to tolerate any form of abuse based on skin colour, religion, sexuality etc. Gay men still have to put up with ridiculous "you might look at me in the shower" comments. Unless you look like Tom Hardy and got a 10 inch w1lly, then you're probably safe... (I'm sure some of you have sneaked a peek at urinals at some point in your life...).
What I've never been able to understand is that these "homophobes" have absolutely no problems with lesbians, yet seem so intimidated by gay men - the same gay men who are "poofs, fairies, fags, queers, batty boys, sausage jockeys" or whatever name you want to bandy around, and who are considered less "manly" than themselves. I'm sure anyone who dared called Ronnie Kray one of these names, lived (or possibly in some cases didn't) to regret it!

Personally, the rivalry between gay men and lesbians is generally just banter, though there are a few who take things to extremes, like in any society. There are some man-hating lesbians - many have good reasons, which may or may not be apparent. Some may have been abused by fathers, brothers, husbands, uncles, or told that all they need to "cure" themselves is to have "a good c0ck inside them". Some gay men keep being told it's because they haven't met the right woman, or it's just a phase, and many have been forced out of their homes after being rejected (and beaten) by their families. Then add the pressure many young LGBT people growing up feel by having to tell people that they're gay. Imagine it flipped the other way and you had to tell people why you're straight, then face a barrage of questions: what did I do wrong as a parent, how can my son/daughter be gay after all I've taught them, do you dress up in women's clothes, which one is the man and which is the woman, don't you think you're a bit young to make that decision (?????), is it a phase you're going through, Etc etc etc...
LGBT don't wake up one day and think "oooh I'm going to be gay and subject myself to a lifetime of abuse". We are born that way. The same way people don't choose to be straight, black, white, male, female, short, tall, eye colour, etc.

That's why we need fantastic groups like Pride of Irons (currently over 400 members) to help tackle these problems on and off the pitch; to provide a network for gay fans and supporters to come together and provide a comfortable place to watch and enjoy West Ham games, support the club and be part of a family.
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Re: Gay

Postby RichieRiv on Sun May 14, 2017 8:26 pm

Thank you for your post, all very interesting (and educational)
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