Postnatal Depression

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Postnatal Depression

Postby Mega Ron on Tue May 16, 2017 9:39 pm

Does anyone have any experience with this?

I think my wife is struggling a bit and I'm doing what I can but don't want to miss something.
Last edited by Mega Ron on Wed May 17, 2017 9:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post Natal Depression

Postby njs2006 on Tue May 16, 2017 10:23 pm

Sorry to hear this, I have recent experience of this. PM me and I'll see if I can be of any help...
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Re: Post Natal Depression

Postby nickkarkie on Tue May 16, 2017 10:44 pm

I know of 3 people close to me whose partners are basically breaking up their marriage because of this. Recently hearing that Klitschko's wife suffered it for 18 months with all the money they have and being able to get nannies to help allow them to get some sleep, you have to wonder if it's just chemicals and the trauma of giving birth. Hope it all sorts out for you soon.
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Re: Post Natal Depression

Postby smuts on Tue May 16, 2017 10:59 pm

Hope it all works out for all of you.
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Re: Post Natal Depression

Postby Johnny Byrne's Boots on Tue May 16, 2017 11:17 pm

Have a read of this article from the National Childbirth Trust to start with and take it from there.

Your GP will have come across this many times before and should also be a hekp.

I really do hope it all works out for you. Best of luck.
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Re: Post Natal Depression

Postby RichieRiv on Wed May 17, 2017 8:23 am

My sister suffered after the birth of her twins, mainly my niece who simply wouldn't sleep.

Her GP put her on citalopram (standard go-to anti depressant). This did help a lot but takes about 3 more months to really kick in. She took the decision to come off of them which unfortunately is a 12 month process of self weening.

There is a lot of help out so don't suffer unnecessarily
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Re: Post Natal Depression

Postby Clacton-ammer on Wed May 17, 2017 9:19 am

Some great advice there Mega, good luck, keep talking to the missus, she needs that.

Plus, look after yourself as well, you are no good to anyone if you put all your energies into someone else.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby Mega Ron on Wed May 17, 2017 10:08 am

I'm no expert so I can't say that she does have depression but I'm not prepared to wait and see.

Cheers for the advice all, and for the link JBB.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby sendô on Wed May 17, 2017 10:28 am

She might not have depression Ron, she might just be finding it hard and a bit overwhelming. Having kids is, they completely change your lives and need constant care. There is no let up, no break, no day off, and it gets a lot harder when you're up half the night, getting broken sleep and constantly tired.

It might be something as simple as giving her a day off? Without further info I don't know and of course am just offering possible alternate solutions.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby Mega Ron on Wed May 17, 2017 10:35 am

Day off!!

She hasn't given him a night feed since he was 3 weeks old and he's been sleeping through the night for the past 2 weeks.

If anything I should be the one that's depressed.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby nickkarkie on Wed May 17, 2017 11:49 am

Mega Ron wrote:Day off!!

She hasn't given him a night feed since he was 3 weeks old and he's been sleeping through the night for the past 2 weeks.

If anything I should be the one that's depressed.

Exactly the same situation with my mate Kenny. He works 50 hours a week but he's also the one who takes his son to school in the morning and also the one who gets up to feed the baby in the night and then she irrationally calls him a useless ****. She does nothing, doesn't work, doesn't cook for the kids, doesn't even clean the house and then moans that she is exhausted.

When he takes his older son to school he says all the polish mums ask him where his wife is and he says they are all presented beautifully with their hair and make up done whereas his missus can't even get out of bed.

I absolutely love fatherhood and you would imagine that's mums do too, so it must be something very powerful to make them feel the way they do. I remember my Aunty openly admitting that her second child was crying so often that nothing would console him for 8 months and she said she was on the brink of harming him, that is seriously alarming.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby Mega Ron on Wed May 17, 2017 12:12 pm

I think the expectations of things, from giving birth to breastfeeding, are a bit of a nightmare for mothers. We have three kids and nothing ever really went as planned but still went very well with the first two. Although my wife never managed to breastfeed very well.

I never minded that and although she did it certainly made our lives easier to be able to completely share feeding, especially in the night. It's just difficult in this day and age with the breastfeeding mafia of mums, NCT, Health Visitors. I say **** you to them. We have to do what is right for our families and no one's children come with an instruction manual. No one's wives do either come to that.

I'm not certain that she is depressed or suffering from Postnatal Depression but she is down and has been for a little while. I think it may stem from some 'friends' excluding her, seemingly because she has another baby.

They are a group of 4 who all had first and second babies at the same time but while they never went back to work after their second my wife did. A year or so later and she is now off and unlikely to go back but they are being difficult with her. It's a real shame as they were very nice and she did seem them throughout the time she was still at work.

We're both still getting up and getting the kids ready for school/nursery in the morning and she's still being great with the little one but she's taken to isolating herself from me in the house. She'll go to bed really early and sleep, or at least be in the bedroom, for 12 hours at a time. It's only been like this for a week or two but I am concerned.

I was only joking about me being the one that should be depressed btw as I think I've got a very good deal with my life.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby sendô on Wed May 17, 2017 1:03 pm

Have you tried talking to her? She might be on the rag if it's only a week, or just got the hump with you, or might be run down, a bit unwell or just generally a bit miffed with her lot.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby Mega Ron on Wed May 17, 2017 1:05 pm

I think I'll start by asking if she's on the rag.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby sendô on Wed May 17, 2017 1:07 pm

Mega Ron wrote:It's just difficult in this day and age with the breastfeeding mafia of mums, NCT, Health Visitors. I say **** you to them. We have to do what is right for our families and no one's children come with an instruction manual. No one's wives do either come to that.

My mrs breastfed both of ours, but we've had midwives telling her she should be bottle feeding.

It's nice if you can breast feed, but I don't see it as essential.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby warp on Wed May 17, 2017 1:09 pm

Mega Ron wrote:I think I'll start by asking if she's on the rag.

that'll go down well!
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby nickkarkie on Wed May 17, 2017 1:09 pm

my wife found it extremely stressful to produce enough milk, we tried pumps etc she was blaming herself, we switched to formula and the relief of having a satisfied baby really helped my wife. My sister also suffered as it turned out that her baby was tongue-tied and wasn't able to get enough milk.

I can understand what your wife feels with regards to her friends, I lost most of my friends over the years through working too much or moving abroad, it can make you feel isolated as you know that it's not as easy to make new friends as you get older with the family to look after.

Have you tried speaking to her or her family about it?
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby hammerdivone on Wed May 17, 2017 1:11 pm

Mega Ron wrote:I think I'll start by asking if she's on the rag.


Yeah, good luck with that one!!

It can be overwhelming and the hormonal change can be a nightmare. She needs to be talking other Mums in support groups to understand what really is going on.

If it makes you feel any better, they get even worse when they go through the menopause
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby RichieRiv on Wed May 17, 2017 11:07 pm

Seems to me there is a lot of pressure on people in this case mum's to do the right thing, so although it may not be depression it could well be anxiety.

There are some great videos online (through the NHS) that can help.
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Re: Postnatal Depression

Postby Czech Hammer on Thu May 18, 2017 3:19 am

Invest in a top quality tin hat. Its all your fault from here on in.
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