A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Wed Jul 11, 2018 2:15 pm

Cockneyboy311 wrote:Thank you Samba, Ageing and TOMOS. Having a better day today. Looking forward to a few pints with mates in the pub tonight to watch the game.


A very close friend of ours lost her youngest boy aged 9 , at the time of his death he was our daughter's best friend , she's 31 now , 32 in October - I was given the unenviable task of phoning up the Headmistress of the Primary School to tell her that wee Gordon had passed away - I was working night shifts on the Ferry that day and watching ' Pulp Fiction ' at 8am when the call came through , I've never been able to watch ' Pulp Fiction ' since - my wife puts flowers on his grave every Birthday and Anniversary of his death as she knows this gives Heather some crumb of comfort - Heather and Tim split up as is often the case in these matters , he now lives in Devon , Heather never re-married and lives on her own , she puts everything into her work and takes as many holidays as possible .

We all die , we all hope we're going to live into our 90s but as in the case of your Cousin , Jen's Cousin and wee Gordon it doesn't always come to fruition - if we learn anything it's Life Is Unfair but we have to try and make the most of what we're given .

Have a drink for your Cousin , smile at the good memories you shared and when you've finished grieving make sure you look after yourself properly , life your life well .
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby kenthammer1984 on Fri Jul 13, 2018 4:13 pm

death scares the **** out of me :(
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:27 pm

If you are without faith, you just have to accept it's an imponderable, as are so many things (even for those WITH faith.)
As such ,enjoy the beauty around you and stop thinking about it. ( Or just get pissed like I do )
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:51 pm

kenthammer1984 wrote:death scares the **** out of me :(

It does to everybody at one time or another. Fear of it is very natural & understandable. There's absolutely no shame in being afraid of it. Perhaps we all need to talk about it more.
We all have to try to come to terms with the idea of it & then hopefully not fear it, or at least, not as much.
At least we are literally, all in it together. No one gets left behind, well, not forever.
That's why our lives are so precious, we're not here forever, no living thing is, be as happy as we can be, while we're here.
Even if it means supporting West Ham...
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby chelmsfordhammer91 on Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:02 pm

Death itself doesn't worry or scare me in the slightest, it is the possibility of an undignified/long term painful death or the worry of how my wife and daughter will cope mentally and financially if I drop.

Fortunately, life insurances and setting things in my still early years has got rid of almost all the worry.

Easier said than done but as long as relevant planning is in place anyway, anything that is out of your control you shouldn't worry about.

Everything is relative. I worried about money for several years because I only had a hundred or so quid to last a week or so until pay day. But when I understood that all my bills were paid, no debts so to speak and that my colleagues were mostly heavily overdrawn, it made me realise my own situation was in reality pretty good.

That said, we always compare ourselves to others. Heavily self criticising ourselves against those most fortunate and not giving ourselves enough credit when we genuinely deserve it.

My respect and hope to all those going through some form of mental difficulty.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Mega Ron on Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:27 pm

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Last edited by Mega Ron on Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:43 pm

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:34 pm

I'd like to suggest to anyone feeling a bit stressed lately, the heatwave that some of us have been experiencing recently has probably caused some real problems with sleeping & quality of sleep.
Poor sleep is renowned for making people feel like s**t, mentally.
And that is of course, as well as trying to deal or live with any longstanding issues.
Be kind to yourselves people, try & get some decent sleep. It's a start.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:03 pm

Nobody wants to die , especially if you're reasonably well off and having fun with your life .

I can give you a bit of an insight as I did ' die ' for a few minutes before I was brought back again , there was no pain just blackness , no tunnel of light with old friends and family waiting at the other end to greet me , just blackness . When I do eventually go , I want to slip away in my sleep aged 96 .
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:32 pm

The Old Man of Storr wrote:Nobody wants to die , especially if you're reasonably well off and having fun with your life .

.

Good morning Mr Storr, hope all is well in your world.
Sadly, there are a lot of people out there that want to die, and am pretty sure that their wealth has little to do with their decision.
Sorry!
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby westham,eggyandchips on Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:19 pm

The Old Man of Storr wrote: I want to slip away in my sleep aged 96 .


If get to that sort of age, I want to be raising my bat to the pavilion TOMOS. :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Cuenca 'ammer on Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:40 pm

I want to be 98 ...and shot by the jealous husband of a 26 year old drop dead gorgeous model..who's minted.


:lol:

sorry don't mean to be flip....

but sunlight is supposed to brighten your mood, not worsen it.....
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WHU Independent on Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:19 am

A couple of things I'd like to add here:

My mate who tried to kill himself is now out of hospital. He's had a "tulip" stent put in between his gall bladder and his kidney (this one has stayed in and hasn't vanished like the last one!) and this has stopped his jaundice. He is weak, healthy, but stable. Through the help he has received in hospital he has managed to find accommodation on the East coast which suits him as his work is based there. His employer has taken a very sympathetic view to his position and he is going to have a medical next week with a view to getting his job back. All disciplinary action has been dropped.

He has managed to get all his belongings back from his caustic ex and is totally free of her. Certain members of his family have made up with him. He's been advised to stop his hard drinking, which he has and his comment to me was "I wish I could have done this years ago." Don't get me wrong we still have a beer but he doesn't drink every day. He's even gone to whole-food cafe's and is eating healthy food - something he would never have considered before.

He's had a wake up call. He knows he can't go on as he used to. He still gets down and has panic attacks because "the stark reality of my position in life is terrifying." He knows he's one bad report from being on the streets. If he loses his job he loses everything. And that's not good for an old man close to retirement.

But he's positive, upbeat and that's much much more than he was 2 months ago.

Also, I want to respond in a balanced way to a few things members have written on here re faith.

There are people on here, like me, that are of no faith but may need support and help from people that like minded.

I would like to recommend https://humanism.org.uk/ who are a secular organisation that have Celebrants in hospitals/the armed forces/universities and many other organisations. They give support to people with no faith or religious belief in times of need.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:10 am

Credit to your mate for getting himself together,and very much to his employer and the support team around him, for what should be a positive outcome [ And nice one WHUI for reinforcing the fact that , however low you find yourself, there is a path back.]
It's probably now, when overstretched 'official ' support will inevitably begin to lessen, that this guy needs his mates.Broken bones,given time will often mend in such a manner that they go back to function as well and in the same way as before, I think with mental illness the mind has to mend first, but then go on to learn to function in different way; along a path where there are ,for instance, coping strategies for the occasions when things go peat-shaped etc (.A kind of physio for your brain.)
Anyway, it's nice to hear a good story. Best of British to him.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WHU Independent on Wed Jul 18, 2018 8:28 pm

Thanks Tenbury - that means a lot.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:59 pm

Which is more than can be said for 'peat-shaped' !!....but there you go...
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Thu Jul 19, 2018 1:33 pm

mushy wrote:Good morning Mr Storr, hope all is well in your world.
Sadly, there are a lot of people out there that want to die, and am pretty sure that their wealth has little to do with their decision.
Sorry!


Well , yes , you're right of course , I didn't think that one through properly .



Without getting drawn in to the argument of whether wealth or the lack of wealth affects your mental health the point I was trying to make was that people who are in debt worry and that worry can sometimes lead to depression , people have been known to kill themselves because of debt .

I'm well , thank you for asking , added to that I don't think I've experienced better weather in all the time we've been on Skye - You ok ?
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Thu Jul 19, 2018 3:08 pm

Am brilliant thanks TOMOS.
Good reply and it makes.sense.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Thu Jul 19, 2018 11:05 pm

The Old Man of Storr wrote:Without getting drawn in to the argument of whether wealth or the lack of wealth affects your mental health the point I was trying to make was that people who are in debt worry and that worry can sometimes lead to depression , people have been known to kill themselves because of debt .

If someone's anxiety or depression comes from poverty or debt then yes, becoming wealthy might well make them feel a whole lot better.
If not, I absolutely believe that winning £10m, £50m or £100m, would not solve anyones mental health problems, in itself. Again, not unless a surplus of money directly addressed, what was causing your distress or a large part of it.
Having said all that, I'd much rather be rich & mentally troubled than poor & mentally troubled..
What I also think I'm trying to say is, you might think that getting that brand new, shiny, sports car is going to make you feel a lot happier in your life. Sadly, it won't. It'll just mean that you've got a brand new, rapidly depreciating, shiny, sports car, that people are going to hate you for having & you've now got the new added stress of risking leaving it anywhere, without some c*** wanting to damage it, just because it's so nice.
We think material things will make us happy but they really don't. Well, for 5 minutes, maybe.
The story (on tv last night) of that young lad (Jerome Rogers) who killed himself because of debt, was f***ing heartbreaking. It just started with two £65, minor traffic fines.
It seems that he couldn't tell those closest to him, who might well have helped.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:07 am

All sorts of things, and nothing in some cases, seem capable of triggering a mental breakdown . [ Although I agree that the despair that comes with money problems is a trigger for many ].
Reading through this thread,( and though this isn't relevant, some of the stuff here ,attitudes,empathy, thoughtfulness, and above all insight , IS uplifting ) It occurs to me that maybe there are more than a few similarities between mental and physical illness: Most people accept that physical fitness helps avoid or speeds up recovery from physical illness.Perhaps it's possible to improve the mental fitness of an individual (better still the mental fitness of an entire society, ) in order to stave off, or recover more quickly from, an attack of mental illness. Does any of this make sense?

It's late, I have a well earned reputation for spouting long-winded drivel and I haven't had a drink in nearly six weeks, so feel free to be brutal.
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