A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.

Moderators: bristolhammerfc, sicknote, -DL-, Rio, Gnome, chalks, the pink palermo

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:25 pm

Hugh - I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother and now your Wife - the anger and change of personality you're feeling just now is perfectly understandable and natural , you're going through the stage of coming to terms with what's happening to the two most precious ladies in your life .
All you can do is continue to give them the love and support you've been giving them up till now .

It goes without saying that we're all thinking about you .
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 15701
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Tue Aug 07, 2018 10:38 pm

The Old Man of Storr wrote:Hugh - I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother and now your Wife
It goes without saying that we're all thinking about you .

Well said, TOMoS.
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 2939
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Wondering when Karren Brady's going to fuck something else up.

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Up the Junction on Wed Aug 08, 2018 7:58 pm

If I may take this off-topic briefly, there are some very nice words being written about this thread and the contributors to it on social media:

https://twitter.com/the_unutterable/status/1027253274284580865
User avatar
Up the Junction
Thinks he owns the place
 
Posts: 50658
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2002 1:03 am

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Aug 08, 2018 8:24 pm

Up the Junction wrote:If I may take this off-topic briefly, there are some very nice words being written about this thread and the contributors to it on social media:

https://twitter.com/the_unutterable/status/1027253274284580865


:thup:
User avatar
somerset-hammer
 
Posts: 8649
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:05 am

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Thu Aug 09, 2018 8:07 am

Without being smug or arrogant , I think it's threads such as this one that sets Kumb apart from all the other Football Forums .
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 15701
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby prince_huggy on Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:28 pm

I've suffered from depression for quite some time now but just recently been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Although this could have been diagnosed a lot earlier, the tablets I have been subscribed have help with my low moods no end. Might even start lowering my anti-depressants now.
User avatar
prince_huggy
 
Posts: 7306
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:30 pm

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Thu Aug 09, 2018 7:20 pm

TBH, that should have been picked up immediately, any one reporting low mood should be blood tested.......blind guess, but seeing as the thyroid thing tends to be more of a female thing ...etc.etc.
Anyhow, feeling better is what it's all about. Best reduce your meds slowly , and if you're anything like me ( stopped all meds at New Year last) you'll do OK. Exercise is the best therapy. Good luck!
User avatar
Tenbury
 
Posts: 2485
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
Location: Too near Kidderminster

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby prince_huggy on Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:38 am

Excercise every day for 30 (broken) minutes. That has well helped me
User avatar
prince_huggy
 
Posts: 7306
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:30 pm

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:56 am

prince_huggy wrote:Excercise every day for 30 (broken) minutes. That has well helped me


100% always does me good, going for a run after work seems to always help my mood, the trouble is if you are feeling especially low, it's bloody hard to motivate yourself to get your arse up and out the door.
User avatar
somerset-hammer
 
Posts: 8649
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:05 am

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby davids cross on Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:24 am

prince_huggy wrote:but just recently been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Although this could have been diagnosed a lot earlier, the tablets I have been subscribed have help with my low moods no end. Might even start lowering my anti-depressants now.


It's all about these little victories...... :thup: :scarfer:
User avatar
davids cross
 
Posts: 24307
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:20 pm
Location: Crawley, West Sussex.

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby prince_huggy on Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:38 am

davids cross wrote:It's all about these little victories......

Had a really bad downer last night though :(

Lost the plot too.

Why do you always hurt the ones you love? :fsake:
User avatar
prince_huggy
 
Posts: 7306
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:30 pm

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby davids cross on Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:45 am

prince_huggy wrote:Had a really bad downer last night though :(

Lost the plot too.

Why do you always hurt the ones you love? :fsake:


Setbacks are absolutely part of recovery. You can't recover from mental health problems without setbacks. That's where you learning skills should be at their highest.

There is nothing learnt in having a good few days of mental health, where it's all going swimmingly.

Your success over this illness is not how you behave and react to symptoms when they are at their best. It's how you react to feelings when they are at their worst.


:thup:
User avatar
davids cross
 
Posts: 24307
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:20 pm
Location: Crawley, West Sussex.

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri Aug 10, 2018 11:39 am

prince_huggy wrote:
Why do you always hurt the ones you love? :fsake:



I guess it's because we trust them to forgive us after our silly outbursts - they're the nearest to us more often than not and they understand us the most - if we were to lose it with workmates or neighbours they'd find it difficult to forgive and forget but our loved ones know us best and outbursts are soon forgotten .

I grew up with a family who shouted at each other but arguments were short and sorted quickly - Jennie grew up with a quiet family who never argued - it was quite a culture shock when she met my lot . :)
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 15701
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby ageing hammer on Fri Aug 10, 2018 11:56 am

Huggy mate, you had a downer, lost the plot and hurt someone you love.

You didn't have the downer on purpose, I am certain you also didn't hurt the one you love deliberately either.

You are feeling bad over it and that shows you do care and you didn't mean it.

Your loved ones will know this and they will forgive you if you show them how sorry you are and that you are trying to improve with the losing the plot days.

You certainly are the same as most of us who all have done exactly the same thing many times.

Being a man we can't blame the periods or the menopause :lol:

Try to keep going mate and be positive we are all behind you and anyone who is feeling down.

Never give up NEVER. :)
User avatar
ageing hammer
 
Posts: 18055
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:04 am
Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby prince_huggy on Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:09 pm

Thank you all for your posts.

Giving up is not an option. :thup:
User avatar
prince_huggy
 
Posts: 7306
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:30 pm

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Cockneyboy311 on Fri Aug 10, 2018 1:15 pm

prince_huggy wrote:Thank you all for your posts.

Giving up is not an option. :thup:



:clap:
User avatar
Cockneyboy311
 
Posts: 7561
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:23 pm
Location: Fascination Street

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby yonni on Fri Aug 10, 2018 2:15 pm

I haven't posted in here yet as I've not been too bad recently and when you feel OK you don't want to be reminded of how bad it feels and how difficult things get. But now I'm in the grip of it again and I don't really know why. Or maybe I do. I have been prone to depression since childhood. The first I became aware of it was when my best mate died at 18 from cancer after a 3 year fight with it. I found the transition from school to adulthood really tough as a result and went off the rails on drink and drugs until my early 20s. By this time most of my old mates had moved away, gone to uni etc. I had dropped out of college after a year. Still a big drinker I knocked the naughty stuff on the head by my mid 20s. Anyway, I've been up and down ever since with the worst recent bout after my dad died 6 years ago. I was put on citalopram and that gave me the head space to understand my problems. After a while I got to see a CB therapist on the NHS too, which helped. I came off the drugs after 2 years but Since then I have had to sort stuff out for my mum who has cut herself off from the world, my brother, my Spanish aunt & uncles (all 3 died now), wrap up my photography business and go to work for the NHS and raise 2 young kids. Its the constant strain of being there for everyone else for the last 7 years. I'm in a support role at work so constantly solving other peoples problems. There is no natural next step for me at work as thee is a gap between my level and the next position. When I did go for it I was told that no one makes that jump, so pretty much a career dead end. I'm looking for a new job but there isn't much about up here. I get home and the wife is screaming at the kids because they are going through a phase of playing up. So I have to be the peace maker there. Then I'll cook (I've always been the family cook) and sort out whatever my mum or my brother needs. So no big issues for me just a constant drudge that is wearing me down. I also have legal stuff to sort out in Spain around inheritance and a con man who is trying to rip me off. That's really weighed on me for the last 2 years.

I'm the sort of person who needs their own space to recharge their batteries but I'm not getting it. I need a weekend away (more like a month!) from everyone and everything (only had 1 night away from the kids in 2 years) but the wife also needs a break. First world problems, eh? I know lots of people are far worse off. We've got a roof over our heads, decent jobs, healthy (if annoying) kids. But I can't see the point in any of it. Nothing gives me any joy at all. There's nothing to look forward to and when we do arrange things I've just lost the ability have fun and relax. Don't worry I'm not about to do anything stupid. Just wanted to get it all off my chest. I don't really want to go back on the medication but I fear I may have to.
User avatar
yonni
 
Posts: 2469
Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2003 11:11 am
Location: In Cockney Hammer's Claret & Blue Army

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Fri Aug 10, 2018 7:49 pm

yonni wrote:I haven't posted in here yet as I've not been too bad recently and when you feel OK you don't want to be reminded of how bad it feels and how difficult things get. Don't worry I'm not about to do anything stupid. Just wanted to get it all off my chest. I don't really want to go back on the medication but I fear I may have to.

Really interesting post yonni, thanks for posting it.
You sound a bit like, 'stop the world, I want to get off' & I can perfectly understand why.
You seem really quite mentally tired. How's your sleep? Of course, with things bugging you, it's not going to ever make for good sleep. The old vicious circle, cliche.
You know it yourself, somehow you've got to get your batteries recharged. You are giving a lot of people, a lot of yourself but you, yourself also deserves some 'me' time, clearly.
I hope you find a way to get some, mate. And never think your problems are less than others, it's all relative, isn't it?
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 2939
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Wondering when Karren Brady's going to fuck something else up.

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby yonni on Fri Aug 10, 2018 8:04 pm

Thanks. I have a meeting with A Spanish lawyer on Monday that might make things a bit clearer but I know I’m going to have to go back to Spain to get it sorted. That just puts me back in the same place mentally as I was when my (Spanish) dad died. Yes, sleep is hard to come by and not great quality. Doesn’t help that the kids get up at 6am and don’t stop talking until 8:30 at night. I have found that relaxation apps help. When I use those I tend to fall asleep quickly and sleep straight through if the kids don’t get up in the night.
User avatar
yonni
 
Posts: 2469
Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2003 11:11 am
Location: In Cockney Hammer's Claret & Blue Army

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby pablo jaye on Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:23 pm

Yonni - thanks for posting, as others have said - small steps can help. Whilst I can’t fully understand what you are going through, the bit about having a young family did strike a chord with me. Mine are grown up now but I do remember about 15-20 years ago, what a drain it was on the energy and consequently mental health when they were waking up early and seemed to be on the go 24/7 and I was similarly wanting the world to stop so that I could have a bit of me time.

I found, doing stuff on my own helped out - doing the weekly shop on my own, volunteering to do errands like going to the post office, picking up stuff in town - all helped. Not necessarily relaxing time, but time when I could do stuff at my own pace, thinking about stuff that I wanted to. The best thing for me was that it gave me a chance to listen to music, one of my favourite pastimes - so, whilst it wasn’t big ‘me’ time and was small beer really, I kind of made it work for me, so that I had space and time to think for myself.

Hope everything sorts out for you Yonni.
User avatar
pablo jaye
 
Posts: 6100
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:08 pm
Location: Underwhelmingly underwhelmed!

PreviousNext

Return to The Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Rocketron, southbrishammer and 9 guests