A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby RayleighHammer23 on Wed Sep 13, 2017 6:27 pm

I'm always tired and I don't want to go out or see anyone, the idea of it seems exhausting and I just count down the minutes until I can get home. I'm supposed to be going out tomorrow with people from work, I've said yes but I really don't want to go.

I'm sure this is some kind of mental health issue but surely there's nothing a Dr can do or say to stop that feeling.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby AnthraxDave on Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:22 pm

Today, at work, I had a massive Panic Attack. The worst one I have had in a good few years :-(

A combination of things bought it on....I am still grieving big time for my Dog who died nearly 3 weeks ago. I hadn't cried about him for the past 2 weeks, after the first few days of massive tears everywhere, but just felt down and "like I was going to cry" sort of thing. But today at work it all flooded out randomly and I went home at Lunchtime. I took our younger dog (Pickles) out in the park for a walk but other doggie walkers kept asking where Alfie was and each time I told them he had died, I started blubbing again. Felt so weak and guilty for upsetting them, too.

Then there is the fact I start my 3rd year at Uni next week. I look through the intensity of what is going to be required to finish my Child and Adolescent Mental Health degree and am crapping myself. I nearly cracked up and quit half way through Year 2 because I just didn't understand the Research module, no matter how many times I asked the Tutors to explain it to me. I nearly quit half way through Year 1 when my Gran died at Christmas and the stress/worry about her 6 week battle (and eventual loss) with Lung Cancer caused me to fail my first placement because I couldn't concentrate. Luckily I was able to start a new placement and passed it.

So I made it through both times and achieved decent grades (mostly B's and C's in Year 1. Then A's, B's and got a C in that c**t Research in Year 2). So I know I can write academically and have a passion for the subject.

It is just the Dissertation side of things looks so bloody daunting, especially now they have put up last years dissertations for us to read to get an idea. This is on top of the numerous other 3-4000 word essays, presentations (one of which is for 30mins in front of a panel of Social Workers, Nurses and other experts!) and other stuff.

Deep down, though, I think it is the loss of my Alfie, who was my best mate for the 10+ years we had him, which has affected me far worse than I ever could have imagined it would. In combination with the worry and stress about going back to Uni, I have not felt this jittery for some time. In fact, I had almost forgotten what a real Panic Attack felt like. My coping techniques didn't work and I felt a failure for leaving work at Lunchtime, because it is a job I love and find rewarding (Youth Work) with workmates that I love to bits and we were really busy today. My boss phoned me up early in the afternoon to check I got home OK and has given me the rest of the week off, which is just so kind of them. I've asked to take it unpaid, because otherwise I would feel guilty.

Hmmmm, the word "Guilty" springs up a lot here! Sorry for the rambles, guys.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Mega Ron on Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:07 pm

Chin up buddy. No one can tell you how to deal with pain and anxiety.

With your dissertation my advice would be to tackle it in small chunks.

For my degree I broke it down into chapters I guess and at times worked through a whole chapter and at others did bits of a few.

Get some good advice on it and make a plan. You don't need to stick to it rigidly but it's good to have in place to give you something to follow.

As for your dog I feel for you. It's been 15 years since my dog died and I loved her to bits. It may sound daft to even some dog owners but I think about her most days. I'll have another when our children are older and will be happy to have one that's even half as nice as she was.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby AnthraxDave on Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:40 pm

Cheers Chief, much appreciated :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:14 am

Dave,
Can I add something here while I've got my sensible head on. I don't know which Uni you're at,Hereford?, but whatever ,there should be in house councillors who can help you get yourself together,so the dissertation doesn't seem so daunting.
I'm only about half an hour from you,but in a different CMH district,so you will be under docs I don't know.Have you done the mindfulness thing? It didn't do much for me, but I seem to be in the minority,I know some people think it's very useful.If you ever want to vent drop me a pm,even if it'just for me to bang on about how s**t Waggamammas Hereford is.
Lost one of my dogs a couple of months back,she was 18 (!) The old bitch has left a big gap in our lives,but she had a pretty decent uncomplicated life,I envy her TBH !

Best Wishes.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby AnthraxDave on Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:41 pm

Thanks Tenbury. I go to Worcester.
Think it just the feeling of being overwhelmed that I've not had in a while.
Sorry to hear about your dog, too - It is horrible without them, aint it.
Cheers mate :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby westhammart on Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:51 pm

Rars was right mental issues are a right b*stard.

If anyone looked at me who didn't know me they would think I had it all. I've got a good job, nice new house, decent car, good mates and a beautiful fiancée. Little do they know that a lot of days I'm battling my own internal demons. Some days I wake up and the first thing I do is throw up through the fear of messing up at work. I obsess on the minute detail of things - I actually video myself locking the door to stop myself obsessing that I haven't locked it. Its exhausting being me at the moment!

It hasn't been constant - in the past I have had cbt and antidepressants but I would say I've been somewhat clean of anxiety for the last few years. However in the last couple of months it's been creeping back in and I've been silently battling it. It's got to the point wheee I dread waking up knowing the stress is starting. I've been stumbling along each week with the anxiety worsening as I get more tired towards the end of the week.

I struggle to do anything about it...I have a terrible day and promise myself I will get help, then I have a good day and think no i can deal with it. I feel for my fiancée who has tried to help but is away with work a lot and I know she is fed up of coming back to a miserable me rather than the confident lad she used to come home to. She deserves to be looked after and not have to come home to someone who is negative. Ultimately she can't comprehend why I worry about the things I do when other people have it a lot worse and I should be looking to our future.

I know I need to sort my life out - I'm wasting the best years of my life worrying about things that won't be important when I'm in an old people's home! I just can't get the perspective right! A colleague said to me that I with my work knowledge I would be lethal if I could sort my confidence out - I wish I could!

I'm struggling at the moment but i have beaten it before and will have to do it again.. I would say to those who are struggling on here that make sure you don't forget how good life can be - that's what is keeping me going each day at the moment knowing I need to get back there. You aren't weak you are strong for getting up each day feeling like crap.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:04 pm

Westhammart :thup:

Stay strong mate, from the outside looking in, although it might not seem like it, it looks like you have this under control, huge respect to you and everyone else who find the courage to open up, it can't be easy.

Keep fighting it dude.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby only1post on Fri Sep 15, 2017 12:27 pm

Clarke Carlisle on the missing list.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:02 pm

Paul/DrVenk

I listed my woes on the previous thread so won't do so again, but suffice it to say I was probably depressed as a teenager, an insomniac from 17 onwards until late 20s, then depression hit me again early 30s after my dad died. Also suffered from intermittent panic attacks early 30s too (now late 30s). I've dabbled in mental health with my job - spent time with soldiers with PTSD, evaluated the efficacy of alternative medicines, and researched sleep patterns. So, a thread close to my heart. Just knowing there are others to talk through about this stuff is therapeutic in itself as previous posters have said. Thumbs up to RARS for relaunching this type of thread.

A lot of these problems are both behavioural and biochemical and it's hard to break the cycle - one can reinforce the other, the classic being increasing alcohol consumption, which can crowd out exercise, which can decrease mental wellbeing, which leads to more drinking as a way of self-medicating. To break that cycle, it is not always easy to know where to begin - so, exercise, absolutely the first place to start for general depression symptoms, but sustaining exercise in and of itself is no easy task. Always best done by playing a sport which involves being around others, but as some have pointed out, just getting motivated to spend time with others can be difficult. Sometimes we do need to give our minds and bodies a nudge, and I have found certain OTC treatments to be effective (and supported by trials):

5-htp (never ever ever use with antidepressants!) - sleep aid and serotonin precursor (happy chemical). Only to be used for low mood; depression requires something stronger.
Vit D - should take between September and April; we are all deficient and can adversely affect energy levels and ability to fight off infections
L-Theanine - basically a massive whack of green tea minus the caffeine; I just came back from the US with about 500 tablets; it works really well as a relaxant if feeling anxious (it's a GABA precursor; GABA produces feelings of calmness)
Magnesium - combine with L-Theanine if suffering from anxiety and/or sleep issues
L-Tyrosine - dopamine pre-cursor; can give a short little burst of mood improvement and energy. I have used as an afternoon pick me up or pre-exercise pick me up (you can try broad spectrum amino-acid tabs, available in Holland and B)
Zinc - becomes more important as you get older as our T-levels drop; so precursor for Testosterone levels.

If you try any of these, always buy the expensive brands, i.e. not from supermarkets - the absorption rates are markedly different. And if you do try, would be great to hear how you get on. Apologies in advance if they don't work, but there is some science and evidence behind the above, honest!

I'd also strongly recommend getting blood work checked for antibodies - the dairy and yeast I was consuming made me feel really down. And I mean really down. The consumption of dairy during my teenage years messed up my mood and skin. The York Test is decent and can be ordered online.

For non-specific feelings of 'meh', not necessarily depression but a sense of emptiness and futility, which is what I battle with now, I found that is more to do with deep-seated issues of not really living my life to the full. More general psychology rather than a medical issue. The problem is I didn't quite know how to live my life to the full recently. Ostensibly, my life is good, but there are some dots I am clearly not joining to feel happy and enthused by life. And it was pissing me off until I started taking piano lessons and got involved with a blues band. Being creative, as well as being physically active, has been important for me. I am a great believer in recapturing hobbies that were done in childhood, but I know that sounds wanky. It seems to work for me though, so I am happy to be wanky.

Oh, and excessive ****ing will only cause your T levels to plummet. Maybe even self-esteem too :wink:

Keep talking/posting fellas.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby the celestial insect on Fri Sep 15, 2017 10:39 pm

Something I found useful a few years ago was CBT sessions arranged via my GP. CBT is basically a 'talking' therapy and is partly based on reframing and examining the way you think about things. For me, it wasn't a substitute for medication, but rather a way to recognise triggers and to cope with thoughts.

It took a while to get over my resistance to what appeared to be psychobabble, and to actually give it a try. But it has been helpful.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Sat Sep 16, 2017 10:35 am

Really enjoyed reading your post, Venk, as well as all the others on here.

Struggling a bit at the moment with trying to find something productive to write, but I think I'm going to take that intolerance test. The initial one anyway to at least rule out or confirm something I've thought may be an issue.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:38 am

the celestial insect wrote:Something I found useful a few years ago was CBT sessions arranged via my GP. .


It does seem to work for many, celestial. Negative patterns of thought are a killer, and sometimes that's all feeling down is for some people. There is a tendency to want to find a quick fix with a pill but not everything is caused by a biochemical problem, although negative thought patterns will have biochemical effects, hence the spiral of decline. CBT plus some meds (even if it's OTC stuff like I listed above) has worked for some people as it seems to have done for you celestial.

rare as rockinghorse shat wrote:Really enjoyed reading your post, Venk, as well as all the others on here.


Cheers. Well, I get football and politics wrong so often, I have to be ITK about something! :) Hope you get some joy from the intolerance test. That was the starting point for me really - the minute I cut out dairy and yeast, the fog lifted and I had more energy. I've had to fight other mental health battles for different reasons, but getting the diet bit sorted I think is probably the best place to start.

The Gut-Brain connection (a little bit jargony, but outlines the gist of why it is good to start with diet):
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201404/the-gut-brain-connection-mental-illness-and-disease
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby dtp2 on Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:59 am

My name's Danny and I'm a recovered addict.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Sat Sep 16, 2017 1:41 pm

DrVenk wrote:the minute I cut out dairy and yeast, the fog lifted


This in particular, how have you cut it out?

No bread, eggs, milk, cream, cheese etc at all?!
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Sat Sep 16, 2017 2:12 pm

rare as rockinghorse shat wrote:This in particular, how have you cut it out?

No bread, eggs, milk, cream, cheese etc at all?!


Yup. I only eat wraps/tortillas. To be fair, not eating sandwiches isn't such a big deal.

Never (lie, rarely) eat desserts. Tough one as I effing love cheesecake, but it's the one part of a meal loaded with dairy + eggs + refined sugars (yeast feeds off refined sugars in particular).

I drink rice milk. Soya milk is not for me and it can raise oestrogen! Don't want floppy boobs. Rice milk is ok on cereal. Don't drink tea and like coffee black so it's no big deal not buying milk.

I eat the Arlo lactofree cheese...it's not bad. Available in all supermarkets. Can get lactofree soft cheese too.

A good side effect of the above is I lost about a stone in weight as well.

So a few simple rules - no sandwiches, no desserts, never buy cows milk, and buy lactofree cheese. Simple really.

Every now and then yeast/lactose/eggs will pass my lips when I eat out - THAT'S when it becomes a bit of a nightmare. But if it's occasional, it's not a big deal. I might get a bit of heart burn, but then it's worth it for a decent pizza or slab of cheesecake a few times a month.

What do you think is in your diet that's affecting you?
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WHU Independent on Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:02 am

Anyone every taken Mirtazapine? If so are there any side effects and if so what please?
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Sun Sep 17, 2017 8:31 am

If I remember right ,it knocked me out,sleeping during the day etc.Having said that,the one thing(if any)I've learnt is that different drugs,and combination of drugs,work/don't work for different people.If your GP/Shrink is any good they will know this,and monitor your progress carefully.

Best wishes.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Sweeney Bod on Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:43 am

WHU Independent wrote:Anyone every taken Mirtazapine? If so are there any side effects and if so what please?


I have had no side effects, apart from feeling tired. As I take it just before bed, it is not an issue.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby AnthraxDave on Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:56 pm

WHU Independent wrote:Anyone every taken Mirtazapine? If so are there any side effects and if so what please?


Hi mate, 15mg Mirtazipine was the first Anti-Depressant I was prescribed when I had my in 2008. It made me eat a lot and helped me sleep well.
Can't really remember much else, sorry.

I changed over to Citalopram in March 2009. Started at 20mg for a year or so and, when I had a setback in 2010, I upped it to 40mg. Which I am still on today.
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