Anything goes in The Snug, General Discussion's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity where any subject not covered elsewhere may be discussed. Well, anything except golf, Star Wars and Arsenal.
Samba wrote:You know what SH, I reckon that you'll be ok, even if you were wanting a visa for the USA.
They treat each case on their own merits & from what you have said, the nature of the offence, the time ago it was, I really think that you would be ok. It would certainly have long since disappeared off of your UK record.
The important thing would be to tell them the truth, when you were applying for the visa.
Please stop stressing, I think you'll be fine!
Cheers Samba and WHU Independent. For the states I'm almost certain I will be fine. Its bizarre countries like Zambia, Vietnam and the Philippines and many more where I'm not so sure and these are the sort of places my work takes me.
I'm sure I'm overreacting. hence the mental health angle [I really hope I'm overacting as then I should be OK]. Probably I am glass half empty guy, or a glass 1% empty in my case perhaps.
Apologies if it seems like I have hijacked the depression and mental health thread. Due to the abuse of my childhood I've suffered really serious problems of depression when I was younger but in some ways its a good story as now in my 50s I feel I've finally come through it and am now happy. Its this last frigging problem, as described, that I can't shake and its driving me nuts. I know its all connected. So I hope the parents here realise how much your kids are influenced by your behaviour to them, both good an bad as mine either didn't know or didn't care.
I even received an MBE a few years ago, so clearly the UK government doesn't have a problem with me, but I would give that up in a heartbeat for a bit of peace of mind right now.
I'd better stop writing as I'm giving far too many clues about my identify now....
Shanghai Hammer wrote:
Apologies if it seems like I have hijacked the depression and mental health thread. Due to the abuse of my childhood I've suffered really serious problems of depression when I was younger but in some ways its a good story as now in my 50s I feel I've finally come through it and am now happy. Its this last frigging problem, as described, that I can't shake and its driving me nuts. I know its all connected. So I hope the parents here realise how much your kids are influenced by your behaviour to them, both good an bad as mine either didn't know or didn't care.
Nope, Still don't know who you are SH! And don't need to.
And no, you didn't hijack this thread, it's for everyone with whatever issue, big or small.
You're so right about our early (childhood) life experiences. I believe that who we are today is largely down to what happened then. While fully understanding the role that our genetics that we're born with play, I really don't believe that people are born bad, mad or sad. It's an unpredictable mix of our genes & crucially, what happened to us during early stages of development. Imo.
I try to post regularly in this thread but unfortunately I have no real advice for anyone as I have no experience in any of this stuff. I always just post support for anyone who is going through a rough time as I know how that feels and can relate to it and try to gee them up a bit.I really really hope none of you mind my posting in here with nothing more than a bit of support as I honestly wish your lives can improve after some of your terrible suffering. I hope this doesn't come across as a bit cheesy but I honestly care about you lot and know how genuine you are about this thread and your troubles. Tell me to butt out and I will
SH: I got nicked and charged at West Ham in the mad days of the mid 70's.
Been living in the States now for over 25 years, initially got a working visa and then green card and now citizenship.Had multiple FBI checks for the business that I was in aswell.
You will be fine mate.
WHU Independent wrote:On the other side of the Visa coin, I've totally omitted and downright lied on certain visa applications for several major countries and I haven't ever heard a whisper about my past "misdemeanour's."
Not 1 problem at all.
I have worked for three UK banks that demand in their applications that you list all previous misdemeanours, even ones that have been spent.
I have ignored all of this and nothing has ever been said.
Thank f**k.
Prince Harry was hailed by mental health campaigners today as he bravely opened up about his own struggles and made a plea to anyone suffering to reach out for help.
In a moving and heartfelt speech, the Duke of Sussex said: “Our mental fitness is even more important than our physical fitness because without it we cannot survive, let alone thrive.”
At the closing of the Invictus Games in Sydney tonight, he spoke of how everyone bears responsibility to help others “who can never even imagine themselves in that place”.
Former soldier Harry created the games, which began in London, in 2014.
Six years earlier, he had flown back from Afghanistan with three comrades who had been seriously injured.
'It's okay not to be okay' said Prince Harry to the crowds
In that moment, the young royal decided he would dedicate himself to standing up for injured vets and show the world how they were role models.
This week marked the fourth and most successful instalment of the games, where 500 ex-servicemen and women from 18 nations achieved staggering results against the odds.
Some had suffered catastrophic injuries on the battlefield, while others still carried the “invisible” scars of post-traumatic stress disorder.
It is a cause close to 34-year-old Harry’s heart – he suffered the tragic loss of his mother, the late Princess Diana, aged 12.
In front of a 12,000-strong crowd, he said: “Asking for help is courageous. It will improve your life and the lives of those around you immeasurably.
“In the moment you admit that you are struggling, you take that first step towards a better future for you, your friends and your family.
“You allow those around you to show you the love and concern central to the cure.
“I’ve been there, you’ve been there, and we now need to reach out to those who can never even imagine themselves in that place.
“I hope the ethos of these games has also shown you that we all have mental health, just as much as we all have physical health.
“So for all the civvies out there, look at what these men and women have achieved and know one day, though you may not be injured in combat, physical or emotional injuries can happen to any one of us.”
His comments drew praise from mental health campaigners, including Jonny Benjamin.
Jonny, 31, was awarded an MBE after using social media campaign #FindMike to track down the stranger who convinced him not to end his life in 2008.
He said: “It’s fantastic to see mental health be a consistent theme of Prince Harry and Meghan’s tour.
“There is still a huge stigma attached to mental illness but with Prince Harry not only continually raising awareness of it but also repeatedly encouraging people to ask for help, the fear and shame is finally being erased.
“Hopefully Harry’s words will have an impact on everyone to do much more to make sure people with mental illness receive the same care and compassion as those with physical illnesses.”
“You can be a teacher or a doctor, a mum or a dad, a child or a grandparent, a farmer, a plumber, a lawyer, or a CEO. Or anything at all. You can identify something in your own life that you want to change for the better.
“Nowhere is that truer than in the area of mental health.
“For that friend or comrade you know who is unable to open up about their struggles.
“For that man or woman who has watched on television, you are proving that it’s OK to talk about how we feel.
“To girls and boys who see you speaking openly about anxiety, stress and depression, you are showing it’s OK not to be OK.
“And most importantly, you are showing us all that it’s OK to ask for help.”
Prince Harry, along with Prince William and Kate Middleton, launched their charity Heads Together in 2016 to tackle the stigma over mental health that prevents people from getting help.
I suffer with depression and find it impossible to speak to anybody about it, I never would even when the suicidal thoughts start.
People who are famous and coming out to discuss mens mental health can do a lot of good in trying to remove the stigma that being depressed is a sign of weakness in Men. I don't want to appear weak, or soft and that's why I live with it in secret.
Rayleigh - you’re totally right. The more it is talked about then the less stigma there is. Also, my opinion is that starting the conversation about mental issues that you have is courageous and a very strong thing to do.... it also helps break down the stigma too for others.
Well done Rayleigh for typing that.
Not being able or feeling able to talk about how we're feeling only makes dealing with things 10x, 100x or a 1000x harder.
A problem shared can feel slightly less of an issue afterwards.
There still is stigma around mental illness so it is understandable why you keep it a secret, although I'm sure you know how safe a place this thread is. Perhaps you've not been lucky to know people in your life who would/could understand. You're also very much not alone in that respect. Despite it all being much more open & in the media, people who have never suffered with it, can still be at a loss to really understand.
Fwiw, I think that people that suffer with mental illness are actually stronger than other people think. They have to be, carrying on while carrying that huge weight around on their shoulders, often in silence, as you said.
Have you ever sought help, mate?
No I'm far too ashamed to speak to anyone professional or otherwise. I know its illogical and the people who matter will only ever want to help and won't think any less of me but its a feeling I just can't shift.
I live with it day to day, sometimes its barely noticeable, other days I feel like the air I breath is heavy. I'm smart enough to know that its a disease and that it is what it is but I'm wired in a way that I can't admit it to anyone. Easier for me to say that here of course as a faceless internet bloke.
RayleighHammer23 wrote:No I'm far too ashamed to speak to anyone professional or otherwise. I know its illogical and the people who matter will only ever want to help and won't think any less of me but its a feeling I just can't shift.
I live with it day to day, sometimes its barely noticeable, other days I feel like the air I breath is heavy. I'm smart enough to know that its a disease and that it is what it is but I'm wired in a way that I can't admit it to anyone. Easier for me to say that here of course as a faceless internet bloke.
Good for you for acknowledging it to others on here Rayleigh. Do you find that by sharing, that it has a momentarily cathartic effect? Perhaps sharing with other faceless internet people might be a viable alternative? Online counselling can be a very effective treatment.
RayleighHammer23 wrote:No I'm far too ashamed to speak to anyone professional or otherwise. I know its illogical and the people who matter will only ever want to help and won't think any less of me but its a feeling I just can't shift.
I live with it day to day, sometimes its barely noticeable, other days I feel like the air I breath is heavy. I'm smart enough to know that its a disease and that it is what it is but I'm wired in a way that I can't admit it to anyone. Easier for me to say that here of course as a faceless internet bloke.
How long has it taken you to write this Rayleigh?
As iLoveLasagne said, look at online counselling, it may lead to you losing the feeling of shame and allow you to speak to someone.
My wife has been diagnosed recently with post natal depression (16 month old toddler) and anxiety.
She has started private counselling sessions as the waiting list for NHS was a good two months.
They said that as she is a deputy headteacher, she has a lot of pressures and feels guilt towards going back to work after having our daughter. The best thing I can do is just listen to her and try to be more on point to notice cues of her feeling down.
As someone who can easily switch off their emotions and not worry about things I can't control, I found this very hard and it originally caused a few arguments. As a natural problem solved I was giving her solutions, but all she wants is for me to listen as she says she knows she 'shouldn't be down, but just can't help it.
Full credit and support to anyone going through any mental illness and to those who are supporting someone in that position, it really isn't easy all round.
.[/quote]
I have worked for three UK banks that demand in their applications that you list all previous misdemeanours, even ones that have been spent.
I have ignored all of this and nothing has ever been said.
Thank f**k.[/quote]
After being in the care of a mental health hospital I had a bit of an epiphany moment. I want to work for the NHS and put something back. However I have misdemeanours which are spent. NHS state they require an enhanced DBS check. So everything will come up. I just don’t know what to do.
chelmsfordhammer91 wrote:My wife has been diagnosed recently with post natal depression (16 month old toddler) and anxiety.
She has started private counselling sessions as the waiting list for NHS was a good two months.
They said that as she is a deputy headteacher, she has a lot of pressures and feels guilt towards going back to work after having our daughter. The best thing I can do is just listen to her and try to be more on point to notice cues of her feeling down.
As someone who can easily switch off their emotions and not worry about things I can't control, I found this very hard and it originally caused a few arguments. As a natural problem solved I was giving her solutions, but all she wants is for me to listen as she says she knows she 'shouldn't be down, but just can't help it.
Full credit and support to anyone going through any mental illness and to those who are supporting someone in that position, it really isn't easy all round.
The biggest difference between men and women. They really do just want to offload, they don't want our input.
I don't mean to belittle this wonderful thread by mentioning my silly problems but I thought I'd give you all an update on the chronic eczema and worry that had been bothering me prior to our move to Elgin .
It's been around a month now since we've all been together at our new place [ for the next 9 months ] in Elgin , well , about 4 miles outside Elgin and I'm happy to report that everything is going well - there have been the usual problems of setting up broadband and sky tv [ 2 no shows ] at a new house , but on the whole it's been a successful move . The weather is noticeably better , not as much rain , more sunny days if a little colder . Went to register at a new Medical Centre yesterday , they've got one of those computerised signing in screens which I'm not familiar with and I'm sure it won't be as intimate a relationship as I had with our doctors on Skye [ ooh err missus ] but it's to be expected with so many people living here I guess . We're totally spoilt where we live on Skye .
TOMOS - Your problems are not silly, they are huge in your life. Everyone has their own issues to deal with, their own problems that are unique to them. I am glad to hear that the move has been a success overall!
