The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
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- Officer Dibble
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Good that you found the confidence to post what you did bhfc, great to see the support you have already been offered.
Good luck with everything going forwards.
Good luck with everything going forwards.
- Samba
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
bhfc,
I've only just read your initial post & all of the replies.
This thread.........unbelievably amazing people on here.
I really can't add anything better or even as good as people already have & it's really heartening to hear you say that things looked a little brighter, tonight.
You did a fantastic thing by posting btw. That is exactly what this thread is for; being able to share huge fears with people you have never met, can be so helpful. Or even if you have met!
The sleep & exhaustion, are so crucially connected. It's circular. The stress, anxiety & gut-wrenching fear stops you getting ANY decent sleep. This lack of sleep then makes everything harder to cope with, during your waking hours. And then even less chance of getting decent sleep. Round & round we go, in ever, decreasing circles.
Hardly surprising that depression can then result. That's not to say that you need medication, you might, you might not. The GP will help, in that respect. Either way, it is not the end of the world.
However bad you have been feeling, this will pass, you will not always feel this bad & your family are clearly very lucky to have you with them.
One day, when things are easier, you will look back & think, well, it was f**king hard at the time, but we got through it.
And we will all be very happy that you did.
On a more practical note, are there things that you can do without, for a while?
Things like cable/satellite tv or magazine or mobile subscriptions. You can have them again one day, when things are easier, but these are ways that one can save.
Of course, you may well be on top of all that, already.
I wish you all the luck in the world mate & keep posting. If you want to, of course! x
I've only just read your initial post & all of the replies.
This thread.........unbelievably amazing people on here.
I really can't add anything better or even as good as people already have & it's really heartening to hear you say that things looked a little brighter, tonight.
You did a fantastic thing by posting btw. That is exactly what this thread is for; being able to share huge fears with people you have never met, can be so helpful. Or even if you have met!
The sleep & exhaustion, are so crucially connected. It's circular. The stress, anxiety & gut-wrenching fear stops you getting ANY decent sleep. This lack of sleep then makes everything harder to cope with, during your waking hours. And then even less chance of getting decent sleep. Round & round we go, in ever, decreasing circles.
Hardly surprising that depression can then result. That's not to say that you need medication, you might, you might not. The GP will help, in that respect. Either way, it is not the end of the world.
However bad you have been feeling, this will pass, you will not always feel this bad & your family are clearly very lucky to have you with them.
One day, when things are easier, you will look back & think, well, it was f**king hard at the time, but we got through it.
And we will all be very happy that you did.
On a more practical note, are there things that you can do without, for a while?
Things like cable/satellite tv or magazine or mobile subscriptions. You can have them again one day, when things are easier, but these are ways that one can save.
Of course, you may well be on top of all that, already.
I wish you all the luck in the world mate & keep posting. If you want to, of course! x
- EastBrisHammer
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Bristol,
I know you have probably looked at things like this, but I thought I would post it anyway:
https://www.money.co.uk/guides/what-to- ... a-bill.htm
Half way down are some links for advice and practical support.
Btw, if I speak to my brother I will ask him what service he used, I think it was the National Debtline. And just to add they got through the bad times without losing their house or anything horrible happening such as bailiffs or the like.
And finally, if you fancy watching Bristol Rugby I would be happy to shout you a ticket and a few beers.
I know you have probably looked at things like this, but I thought I would post it anyway:
https://www.money.co.uk/guides/what-to- ... a-bill.htm
Half way down are some links for advice and practical support.
Btw, if I speak to my brother I will ask him what service he used, I think it was the National Debtline. And just to add they got through the bad times without losing their house or anything horrible happening such as bailiffs or the like.
And finally, if you fancy watching Bristol Rugby I would be happy to shout you a ticket and a few beers.
- ageing hammer
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- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
BHFC - speak to the National Debt Helpline. My missus was at the end of her tether about debts which had mounted up and her incomings just weren't meeting her outgoings and debt and she feared all sorts. They were brilliant. They wrote some of the debt off, worked out a repayment plan and gave her sound advice on what to do in general. Really did put her at ease and now she's almost debt free - still paying back some but stress levels are down and she's managing really well. Give it a shout, the relief when you speak to someone who will allay your fears totally is worth it alone.
- bristolhammerfc
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Thanks to everyone
Spoke to our works counsellor today who helped loads. Spoke to the Citizens Advice Service who helped me to speak to people and set up some repayment plans.
Still visiting GP but things look a little brighter.
This thread has been a huge help. Everyone has been brilliant
Spoke to our works counsellor today who helped loads. Spoke to the Citizens Advice Service who helped me to speak to people and set up some repayment plans.
Still visiting GP but things look a little brighter.
This thread has been a huge help. Everyone has been brilliant
- Tenbury
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Nah mate, you have been. And you still are. Stick with it,things will get better.
Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Feeling a bit low right now. I love my job, but whenever I come home I remember that I am miserable, lonely and so scared of being alone forever.
- Samba
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
So sorry to hear that, mate. That feeling can be really awful & feel really overwhelming, at times.Rocket wrote:Feeling a bit low right now. I love my job, but whenever I come home I remember that I am miserable, lonely and so scared of being alone forever.
And there's absolutely no shame in admitting it. There have been quite a few programmes on telly in the last few years highlighting just how many people in this country, also feel very lonely.
It can be very easy to think that everyone else have relationships & are in relationships but I assure you, that is really not the truth. We only notice the couples, we don't notice the single people & even when we see people on their own, we nearly always assume that they have someone or people at home.
Are you on social media? There is nothing worse than that for making people feel worse, looking at all those other peoples lives that again, seem so wonderful. Most of it is complete bulls**t. People feel they have to present everything in a wonderful light, even if it really isn't.
Have you a cat or a dog? It isn't pathetic, they can make a HUGE difference to ones life.
Can you try listening to talk radio at night, maybe when you go to bed? It's surprising how it can make one feel less lonely, much less than tv can do.
I'll finish for now & hopefully others will join in.
I'll tell you this though. You won't always feel this way, in the future & please remember, imo, the fear of things is ALWAYS worse than the reality of things.
And you're never alone on here, mate.
- bristolhammerfc
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Rocket,
I can only echo Samba's comments. If you are home and feeling low, send me a PM and we can have a chat about whatever you like. I will make the time to just talk, however long it takes.
I can promise you. There are people on here I wouldn't know if they were stood right next to me, who have sent messages and offers of support and help. I am sure people will be available if you need to chat.
I can only echo Samba's comments. If you are home and feeling low, send me a PM and we can have a chat about whatever you like. I will make the time to just talk, however long it takes.
I can promise you. There are people on here I wouldn't know if they were stood right next to me, who have sent messages and offers of support and help. I am sure people will be available if you need to chat.
- Clacton-ammer
- Sultan of Swing
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
The quite lovely Victoria Pendleton shares her story on depression. I think we all know that to achieve the greatness she did took a huge amount of mental strength, along with other strengths I know, but to achieve greatness mental strength is key.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... attle.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Just shows mental illness can happen to anyone of us, however strong/clear thinking we believe we are, and yet again, talking & reaching out helped her come through.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... attle.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Just shows mental illness can happen to anyone of us, however strong/clear thinking we believe we are, and yet again, talking & reaching out helped her come through.
- davids cross
- Uncle David
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
I was out walking my dog a year or two back. On the way I met a chap (about 60) walking his own dog. I had seen him a few times but had only exchanged smiles..Samba wrote: Have you a cat or a dog? It isn't pathetic, they can make a HUGE difference to ones life.
We chatted, talked, laughed at the dogs sniffing each other out... ......and generally quizzed each other about how old the dogs were, where that had been gotten from, personalities....etc....
After 10 mins or so....He straight up said to me "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him"
He had lost his wife. He felt bereft , lonely and utterly depressed. He "didn't want to be here any more"...his exact words.
But......"I couldn't leave the dog" he said....... :cry:
I understood fully. The dog had kept him going. He loved him. And the dog got him through a very bad place and he was out of the other side. He was making progress through his loneliness and grief.
I suppose you have to have some sort of affection for animals, a love for them. If Rocket is such a chap, I think it would make a huge difference. I believe that dogs are only on earth to help our mental condition. They were put here for us. ....I really believe that....
Mans best friend indeed. The companionship they can bring is immense.
* Great post Clackers......Victoria....
Also, when you see Prince William, Harry and Kate on a platform talking about mental health, we are really making progress.
The Royal Family talking about their own mental health.......unthinkable at one time.
Good luck Rocket.
Well done Bris !!!...... The best medicine for people suffering is the experience and caring of others with experience of mental health problems and who appear at the other side of mental illness as there old self.
Online
- simonpaulthomas
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Having just had a quick catch up on this thread, which thankfully I’ve never really had a use for myself, it’s a little easier for me to come out with the fact that since October time, I’ve been struggling with what I can now recorgbise as depression - after a crap few days of my son being ill with a cold and it meaning neither my partner or I have really had any sleep, we had a bit of a row which turned into a heart to heart, where she highlighted that all my symptoms, that I’d either not really acknowledged or been keeping to myself, pointed to a black cloud over me. I’m lucky that I’ve never really had to deal with anything like this before, but I’ve just felt so out of sorts the past few months after a tough year or so, and to get it all out was great. I’m going to call someone tomorrow and get the ball rolling on seeking the help I need, because I feel confident I can get over this hump. I just needed to write it down and put it out into the universe to be honest.
- Samba
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Good to hear you've got quite a good handle on it, Simon.simonpaulthomas wrote:Having just had a quick catch up on this thread, which thankfully I’ve never really had a use for myself, it’s a little easier for me to come out with the fact that since October time, I’ve been struggling with what I can now recorgbise as depression - after a crap few days of my son being ill with a cold and it meaning neither my partner or I have really had any sleep, we had a bit of a row which turned into a heart to heart, where she highlighted that all my symptoms, that I’d either not really acknowledged or been keeping to myself, pointed to a black cloud over me. I’m lucky that I’ve never really had to deal with anything like this before, but I’ve just felt so out of sorts the past few months after a tough year or so, and to get it all out was great. I’m going to call someone tomorrow and get the ball rolling on seeking the help I need, because I feel confident I can get over this hump. I just needed to write it down and put it out into the universe to be honest.
It's also quite telling that a few days of no sleep, kind of brought it to a head & helped it to come out. Definitely, better out than still inside.
Best of luck, mate
- prince_huggy
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Get it out in the open Simon, the best thing for you. Although many won't understand how you feel, it's good that they know.
Update on the SAD light:
I think it's helping. I feel a bit brighter (if you'll excuse the pun) in myself. I've also started taking Vit D tablets. My blood tests previously showed a sign of a low Vit D count but the doctor took it off of my subscription, which is understandable in a way. So I purchased 90 from Tesco for £2.
That with the Thyroid diagnoses earlier in the year, I could be on for a winner.
I know it's not cured me, as I can still feel the darkness looming every now and then but onwards and upwards.
Update on the SAD light:
I think it's helping. I feel a bit brighter (if you'll excuse the pun) in myself. I've also started taking Vit D tablets. My blood tests previously showed a sign of a low Vit D count but the doctor took it off of my subscription, which is understandable in a way. So I purchased 90 from Tesco for £2.
That with the Thyroid diagnoses earlier in the year, I could be on for a winner.
I know it's not cured me, as I can still feel the darkness looming every now and then but onwards and upwards.
- Mega Ron
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Get yourself involved in some local activities mate. Volunteer somewhere. There are beautiful women all over the place so go get to know some of them.Rocket wrote:Feeling a bit low right now. I love my job, but whenever I come home I remember that I am miserable, lonely and so scared of being alone forever.
- PrawnSandwich
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
So just checking back in after what was probably the darkest week of my life last week.
My wife whilst maintaining the stance that we are done as husband and wife has stated she has no desire to pull apart our family.
Neither of us are in the financial situation where we can part and give our children a better life than they have right now at this stage.
She is happy to remain together for the kids as long as it is needed in order to help raise them with as little mental damage as possible and if we can foster a relationship based on friendship (after 10 years together constantly we are our best friends after all) and a mutual, amicable goal of ensuring our children get the love and support they need from two parents then we can persevere.
Personally this is the best new for me as I believe there is a chance that if I can beat this **** then there is hope.
As for me I am eight days clean and sober, drinking one cup of coffee a day only (instead of 5+).
I am eating healthily and have found some exercises I can do in the living room once the kids have gone to bed and she has gone upstairs to read which I have attacked with gusto and leaves me shattered by the time I sit down around half nine to watch The Punisher on Netflix.
The side effect of this new found calmness and lack of stimulants is that I have been falling asleep and gone to bed around 11pm for the first time in decades and sleeping until our daughter wakes us in the night.
As an insomniac since I was 14 (I turned forty last October) this is a very strange feeling.
I saw a therapist this morning for an introductory session to see if he was a good fit and what he thought.]
It ripped the scab of a lot of things including childhood issues but the focus manly being the last five years which has essentially included:
My hero and Grandfather dropping dead of a heart attack at our wedding breakfast.
Tearing a groin muscle that eventually took 9 months to heal stopping me from exercising which had an impact on my health and self esteem.
The birth of my son.
The death of my mother.
The referendum result (silly as it sounds the negative displacement onto that rightly or wrong has played a big factor in the breakdown in the relationship between my wife and I - I'm not here to get into politics more an example of how channeling thoughts onto other issues displaces ration discussion).
My wife threatening to leave 2 years ago.
The birth of our daughter.
The death of a beloved family pet.
Getting a meniscus tear in my knee that meant I couldn't walk properly for four months.
And of course drug and alcohol abuse to attempt to shutdown any feelings.
The suicidal thoughts that have been dogging me since I was 16.
Just dumping it all out, including the childhood issues which led to the above crashing my self esteem, was a huge relief and release like the foot on my chest has been lifted.
I just need to find the funds to give this process time and take it all slowly, one day at a time, one week at time, one month etc.
So we go on.
I have actually enrolled on the course RARS suggested in the hope that I can use that to fill time and learn more about how CBT works as I have benefited from it immensely in the past.
Right now things seem positive, but I know I haven't been tested yet so got to keep the momentum going.
A big thanks for the kind words from folks and to Burningaham who has reached out with offers of help and checked back in since to see how I am doing.
One thing I will say is this site has been a daily go to since 2006 and the people I have met on here are like friends and family in many ways and I appreciate all the times we have had and hope to have more old school Snug laughs in the future.
KOYI.
My wife whilst maintaining the stance that we are done as husband and wife has stated she has no desire to pull apart our family.
Neither of us are in the financial situation where we can part and give our children a better life than they have right now at this stage.
She is happy to remain together for the kids as long as it is needed in order to help raise them with as little mental damage as possible and if we can foster a relationship based on friendship (after 10 years together constantly we are our best friends after all) and a mutual, amicable goal of ensuring our children get the love and support they need from two parents then we can persevere.
Personally this is the best new for me as I believe there is a chance that if I can beat this **** then there is hope.
As for me I am eight days clean and sober, drinking one cup of coffee a day only (instead of 5+).
I am eating healthily and have found some exercises I can do in the living room once the kids have gone to bed and she has gone upstairs to read which I have attacked with gusto and leaves me shattered by the time I sit down around half nine to watch The Punisher on Netflix.
The side effect of this new found calmness and lack of stimulants is that I have been falling asleep and gone to bed around 11pm for the first time in decades and sleeping until our daughter wakes us in the night.
As an insomniac since I was 14 (I turned forty last October) this is a very strange feeling.
I saw a therapist this morning for an introductory session to see if he was a good fit and what he thought.]
It ripped the scab of a lot of things including childhood issues but the focus manly being the last five years which has essentially included:
My hero and Grandfather dropping dead of a heart attack at our wedding breakfast.
Tearing a groin muscle that eventually took 9 months to heal stopping me from exercising which had an impact on my health and self esteem.
The birth of my son.
The death of my mother.
The referendum result (silly as it sounds the negative displacement onto that rightly or wrong has played a big factor in the breakdown in the relationship between my wife and I - I'm not here to get into politics more an example of how channeling thoughts onto other issues displaces ration discussion).
My wife threatening to leave 2 years ago.
The birth of our daughter.
The death of a beloved family pet.
Getting a meniscus tear in my knee that meant I couldn't walk properly for four months.
And of course drug and alcohol abuse to attempt to shutdown any feelings.
The suicidal thoughts that have been dogging me since I was 16.
Just dumping it all out, including the childhood issues which led to the above crashing my self esteem, was a huge relief and release like the foot on my chest has been lifted.
I just need to find the funds to give this process time and take it all slowly, one day at a time, one week at time, one month etc.
So we go on.
I have actually enrolled on the course RARS suggested in the hope that I can use that to fill time and learn more about how CBT works as I have benefited from it immensely in the past.
Right now things seem positive, but I know I haven't been tested yet so got to keep the momentum going.
A big thanks for the kind words from folks and to Burningaham who has reached out with offers of help and checked back in since to see how I am doing.
One thing I will say is this site has been a daily go to since 2006 and the people I have met on here are like friends and family in many ways and I appreciate all the times we have had and hope to have more old school Snug laughs in the future.
KOYI.
- pablo jaye
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Rocket wrote:Feeling a bit low right now. I love my job, but whenever I come home I remember that I am miserable, lonely and so scared of being alone forever.
Good idea Ron ... or what about salsa dancing? Get on a beginners course and you don’t need a partner to go with, plenty of ladies there and you get to dance with them too.Mega Ron wrote:Get yourself involved in some local activities mate. Volunteer somewhere. There are beautiful women all over the place so go get to know some of them.
- Burningaham
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Martial arts classes are good places to cover a lot of things - meeting new people, exercise, discipline and ladies usually in attendance, and you won’t have to look far for local ones.
Salsa classes are a good idea, but do remember to take your own Doritos. (Other tortilla brands also available)
Salsa classes are a good idea, but do remember to take your own Doritos. (Other tortilla brands also available)
- Samba
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Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)
Thanks for the update, PS.PrawnSandwich wrote:So just checking back in after what was probably the darkest week of my life last week.
My wife whilst maintaining the stance that we are done as husband and wife has stated she has no desire to pull apart our family.
Neither of us are in the financial situation where we can part and give our children a better life than they have right now at this stage.
She is happy to remain together for the kids as long as it is needed in order to help raise them with as little mental damage as possible and if we can foster a relationship based on friendship (after 10 years together constantly we are our best friends after all) and a mutual, amicable goal of ensuring our children get the love and support they need from two parents then we can persevere.
Personally this is the best new for me as I believe there is a chance that if I can beat this **** then there is hope.
A big thanks for the kind words from folks and to Burningaham who has reached out with offers of help and checked back in since to see how I am doing.
One thing I will say is this site has been a daily go to since 2006 and the people I have met on here are like friends and family in many ways and I appreciate all the times we have had and hope to have more old school Snug laughs in the future.
KOYI.
See what you mean about the last 5 years. That's a lot to deal with, for anyone.
There is so much positive in your post & you have already done some really great things.
No one is saying the road ahead will always be easy (& I know that you know that) as it won't always be for most of us, but you have given me & I hope others who may be in similar positions to you, hope.
This is the 'work of life' that you & your wife are doing & I hope you all, reap its reward.