The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[bristolhammerfc]

Thank you. I am a 6ft tall 16 stone bloke who loves Rugby, Its always been difficult to express my feelings. Brought up on a council estate, where "I'll give you something to cry about if you cry again" was the norm.

Thanks for your kind comments, I am exhausted. My wife lost her dad to suicide when she was 13 so talking to her about this fills me with dread.

I am meant to be the one who solves everything in our family. I think you may be right in going to see the GP, though I worry as to how to explain to the family what's going on and what they will think of me.

It was crazy tough to write that last post, crazy tough and even now, I am asking myself what I am doing and feeling slightly ashamed.

Thanks again though, it means a lot.

[davids cross]

I think you may be right in going to see the GP, though I worry as to how to explain to the family what's going on and what they will think of me.

They will love you for being so strong for so long. Fortunately, we now live in 2019 Bris. How many ultra strong sportsmen and ultra important people have had similar struggles. You are not superman. You are human just like everyone else.........and all the people on this thread. You are exhausted.

It was crazy tough to write that last post, crazy tough and even now, I am asking myself what I am doing and feeling slightly ashamed.

There is no shame at all. I respect you more than I did 2 hours ago. There is nothing tough in hiding such pain. Nothing at all.

The reason you feel funny is because you did something much more brave than holding it all in.

Start with your Doc Bris.. Let someone else share your burden. ..you are burnt out mate. We abuse the brain all the time. Stress here, worry there, anxiety here.....more stress there.

We are not robots we are human...

[Clacton-ammer]

Really tough times Bristol, feel for you buddy

Crossey has hit every nail on the head and then some for me, read his posts again, really take in what he is saying and act on them, good luck

[Mega Ron]

Bristol. Aside from potentially seeing a doc what else would help you and your family to get straight again?

[ageing hammer]

Bristol well done for being brave enough to post what you did. Like many before you on here you have been inspired from this thread to bare your soul. That is not easy to do and already you must feel a slight weight off your shoulders to have told someone. Crossy has nailed most of the advice, pretty soon all the chaps who can advise you about finance issues will all weigh in and help what ever way they can. You mustn't ever feel ashamed there is no shame whatsoever.

What crossed your mind about getting the insurance money for your family was only a thought that would come into anyone's mind in your present situation. That word there present is relevant Bristol it's present NOW but only temporary. It can change and get better and it will somewhere along the line. Your wife and children deserve their father to be here with them, they would not swap you for 100K or even ten million because you are priceless to them. Your family would prefer to live in a mud hut and hunt for food than lose you remember that.

Now again I say well done you for opening up, just because you are a big man in appearance doesn't mean you are responsible for everything and have to solve things all by yourself.

Please try to stay positive and follow the advice that is coming .

You are a good man and we are all behind you.

[bristolhammerfc]

Realistically, we would need £1500 to allow us to start rebuilding. That would just give us enough breathing space to pay people off with a little bit extra for food. The trouble is, we can't borrow £1500 as the repayments will just sink us further into debt. With what we need to pay next month, any other stresses will send us over the edge.

I am not blaming anyone else for the situation we are in. We have always worked hard, paid our way and given back to the community. Our kids work hard at school and we both work full time jobs. We have never asked for handouts from the state. I suppose that's part of the issue with feeling as if its unjust.

We don't go out drinking or partying or take foreign holidays. We are just a normal family trying to get by.

Again its our own mess. In comparison to some on here, it seems trivial, but I just feel sick all the time and have been waking in the night sick with worry. Yesterday was my real rock bottom.

I won't lie, writing this feels weird and its making me upset to admit to my failings. I am sure there are worse off people

[davids cross]

Bris...

If your financial worries were solved do you think you would feel ok again ?

[Tenbury]

Bristol,
My finances resemble the Greek economy, but there are things you can do. CAB put me on to Stepchange ( haven't spoken to them yet, it's a job for this week) and there are other agencies; but most of all ,with respect, you seem pretty depressed ( and who wouldn't be?) and that needs dealing with too. It's not a sign of weakness to speak with your Gp, exactly the opposite it's a bloke taking charge of the situation and really looking after his family.
You will get it sorted.
Best Wishes.

[bristolhammerfc]

I hope so DC. I don't know if this is exclusive to this situation. Right now it feels like the sole cause.

I love my family. We love spending time together and compared to others I haven't got it so bad.

If I can sort this, I genuinely will give everything I have to enjoying my time with them.

I don't want to come across as someone begging for a handout. I genuinely posted because of the way I felt and still feel. Just posting has helped.

I needed to say it out loud. Is that odd?

No one else is home at the moment, so I felt I could without them knowing what I am going through

[davids cross]

I don't want to come across as someone begging for a handout. I genuinely posted because of the way I felt and still feel. Just posting has helped.

I needed to say it out loud. Is that odd?

I've held things in. Things that I just couldn't ever express. I just couldn't say them. Could never do it. Just carried on holding them in. It felt safest.

Then something happens.

You somehow open up. Let it all out..............And boy does it feel great. Almost euphoric. Why didn't I do this earlier.

Problem halved. Support appears. You no longer feel alone inside your own head.

I've been in a position where £1,500 is a lot of money, money that I could never find.

I'm lucky now, just at the moment, I could find £1,500. No one is going to let you go under for £1,500 mate.

[EastBrisHammer]

It's hard opening up Bris but you are doing the right thing. I used to think like you, and still do sometimes; where it is my duty to solve all the problems. Several years ago, I went through a period where I was unemployed for six months. I couldn't understand it as I had never been unemployed and never had a problem getting a job. It just made me feel like a complete failure. I eventually got a job and it wasn't until six months later that the depression from being unemployed hit me. I just felt low all the time and my wife kept asking what was wrong. I eventually told her, feeling stupid for something that had happened six months previous, but she was really supportive and even booked me a private counselor as I didn't want to go to the GP. I didn't want to go but I did and I eventually enjoyed going. I only saw the counselor for a few months but it changed my perspective on things and my wife felt great as she had helped me for a change.

On the financial side there will be a solution. I have no personal experience but my brother went through a similar problem and found he couldn't pay his bills or debts. I think they had their payments negotiated and some debt consolidated and got through it, but it was a tough time. You have kids so it is usually easier to negotiate these things.

[Rocket]

I needed to say it out loud. Is that odd?

Far from it, it's totally normal. A problem shared is a problem halved. You have absolutely done the right thing. Look at how many people, people who you don't even know, who have come out in support of you.

[bristolhammerfc]

I want to genuinely say a huge thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I have booked an appointment with my GP.

Things look a little brighter tonight. I have genuinely been surprised, humbled and proud to be part of this forum today. I have also realised that not every token of kindness comes with an agenda. I still have only started this journey and things are still hard but at least there is some light.

Its been a really difficult day and I promise when I get back on my feet, I will do something to give back. Whether it is a walk for a mental health charity or something similar.

I will follow this thread and relate my experiences in the way you all have done for me and hopefully help someone else.

I am a bit emotional right now so am signing off before I make an even bigger idiot of myself.

Thank you all again

[ageing hammer]

Well done Bristol mate

[S-H]

Well done, Briz.

All the best mate.

[davids cross]

Well done Bris...

Make sure you follow it through. I know you will.

Your salvation lies at the end of it..............and you have taken the most important step today.

You will feel better again. And very importantly there maybe someone just like you who is reading this thread and may realise "that's me".....I feel like that.

That's why without question it's the most important thread on the site.

And to be fair I've read other football sites who have similar threads.....and putting our allegiances aside, that's great to see too.

Please let us know how you are going along. People want to share in other peoples stories....

[Rio]

I want to genuinely say a huge thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I have booked an appointment with my GP.

That’s the second step to a brighter outlook. Take on board the GP’s advice

Seek help for the financial side. Your bank, citizens advice bureau or national debt helpline are all places to go.

Keep that chin up

[The Old Man of Storr]

I remember a few years back Jen and I were as poor as church mice , we were just going from one week to another with the overdraft mounting up , we've been rich and we've been poor , at that time we were poor and I remember Bristol messaging me offering me his Sky Go password - I didn't know him from Adam and he didn't know me , I've never forgotten that generous offer , it's stayed with me all this time , believe me , chaps , Bristol is one of the Good Guys , he's better than Good actually and to read his post tonight upset me greatly , I'm sure it upset you the same way . This sort of thing always happens to the nice people of this world doesn't it ?
Davids Cross , you have a pm .

[pablo jaye]

Bris - I have a lot of admiration for you, taking the plunge and posting on this thread. It can’t have been easy and shows a deal of bravery to get over that and do it. As others have said, there is no shame and hopefully you’ve taken another step on the path back to where you want to be.

Take care and carry on sharing - there are some wonderful people here who are rooting for you.

[Marky]

Great post Bristol. Full of admiration for what you said