A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby last.caress on Sun Apr 22, 2018 12:18 pm

It would appear that Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer has died at the unacceptably young age of 49 at least in part as a consequence of his own struggles with the issues being discussed on this thread. Shows how devastating it can be, and how important it is to keep having this conversation.

If RARS wasn't such an utter ****ing cockrub I'd tell him what an absolute hero I think he is - seriously - for what he's doing with his jump and just with kick-starting this thread at all; but he'd only let it go to his head. What with him being an utter ****ing cockrub.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Westcliffspur on Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:20 pm

Chinners92 wrote:This thread is heartbreaking but also great to see people talking about these issues.

I recently became an ambassador for these guys: https://www.great-men.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

One of the aims is to get young males to be more okay with opening up about their feelings at a young age and if you think it might be for you, I'd really recommend getting involved.


You are a star Chinners. Seriously I have so much admiration for people such as you who help others.

I am still in therapy and while I can open up to the female therapist I know from bitter experience how remaining silent can mess up you mentally and physically. They may have 'only' sexually abused me for 2-3 years I have carried 40 years of pain.

Imagine the 'shame' of a man who can look after himself attending a weekly session at a rape counselling centre. I feel guilty being there because I do not want to trigger all the women and little kids that so desperately need their services. They do it in such way that you should not pass another client in the hall as you go into your respective room but I am always worried a woman or kid will see me and go into an understandable panic.

My aim is to get to the stage where I can help ANYONE who has been sexually abused. I want to be able to tell my story without breaking down in tears every time, so other survivors can see it is possible to come through the guilt, shame, revulsion and anger. If I can stand before people who have gone through similar and show it is possible to move on, that will be a life worth living.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Mon Apr 23, 2018 12:44 am

Monkeybubbles wrote:
If anyone is troubled in any way, I hope they feel free to post here without feeling that they're being judged. If you had half a jot of sense you'd see how damaging your post might be. Please delete it.


Spot on Monkey, I couldn't have put it better myself.
Nobody should have to worry that the quality of their concerns are not on the same level as some of the others.
This thread is all about opening up and giving people the chance to talk about issues they may not feel comfortable discussing elsewhere, judging from some of the feedback so far it seems that this thread has been an invaluable source of help and even comfort for some on here.
We should be encouraging people to talk, not digging them out because we consider their problems are trivial.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby -DL- on Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:40 pm

Right chaps, have just had a tidy up of this thread - this is a thread where people should feel able to post anything they like - without fear of being judged. If you are of the judgemental type, then it may be an idea you kept away.

Further posts like Mr Eggy's will be deleted. They are not welcome in this thread whatsoever.

Carry on :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby S-H on Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:42 pm

A problem shared, is a problem halved.

Who are we to judge, whether someone else's problem can or can't be shared in this thread.

At the end of the day, if getting something off your chest on here, helps in anyway with stress or anxiety, does it really matter.

Last thing we want to do is discourage people from talking, and sharing.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby pablo jaye on Mon Apr 23, 2018 10:23 pm

I've just caught up with this thread and would also like to doff my cap to Westcliff, you are very inspiring and also to Chinners92 - thanks for posting that, it is really great to read about those types of avenues.

We had this chap David Beeney http://breakingthesilence.co.uk/, come into my work a few months ago to give a talk about mental health - the guy's presentation was awesome and really helped to start to break down the mental health taboo that exists in many workplaces.

Also, finally not to forget the support of all you other KUMBers on this thread - a fine example of the good in this world.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:48 am

Westcliffspur wrote:They may have 'only' sexually abused me for 2-3 years I have carried 40 years of pain.
One single occasion would have been one too many, mate. Your distress is very understandable.

Imagine the 'shame' of a man who can look after himself attending a weekly session at a rape counselling centre. I feel guilty being there because I do not want to trigger all the women and little kids that so desperately need their services. They do it in such way that you should not pass another client in the hall as you go into your respective room but I am always worried a woman or kid will see me and go into an understandable panic.
Your fear of scaring others is also understandable, as is your (undeserved) sense of shame.

My aim is to get to the stage where I can help ANYONE who has been sexually abused. I want to be able to tell my story without breaking down in tears every time, so other survivors can see it is possible to come through the guilt, shame, revulsion and anger. If I can stand before people who have gone through similar and show it is possible to move on, that will be a life worth living.
That sounds like a wonderful ambition to have. You are very inspiring.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Tue Apr 24, 2018 5:02 am

And I'd like to include DL in the cap doffing. Thanks everyone for keeping this thread going.

[ Has RARS landed yet?]
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:06 am

-DL- wrote:Right chaps, have just had a tidy up of this thread - this is a thread where people should feel able to post anything they like - without fear of being judged. If you are of the judgemental type, then it may be an idea you kept away.

Further posts like Mr Eggy's will be deleted. They are not welcome in this thread whatsoever.

Carry on :thup:


It's a shame that people can't express an opinion about whether something actually constitutes a mental health issue without them being no platformed. Discussions about depression and mental health issues (which is what this thread is about) ought to involve what these things are too, but if this thread is about support regardless of whether the poster is suffering from a mental health issue, then perhaps the title needs to change.

It's a really big shame that discussions of different ideas and viewpoints are constantly locked down. Eggy's point was that SS isn't suffering from a mental health issue as such so why post on this thread. Perfectly legitimate line of enquiry, which could have started a discussion about what actually is a mental health issue, but denied.

But fair enough DL - the mods have their own policy on this so, yes, best some of us just stay away.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby S-H on Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:30 am

DrVenk you're a valuable poster on this thread I'm sure your words in the past have been both of value and comfort to many, please don't let a difference of opinion dissuade you from posting here in the future.

If it's any consolation, at first I must admit I didn't know how to approach SS post, especially compared to others on here, but in the end thought that despite what he had done, if it was causing him stress and anxiety, then he has every right to share his feelings on here.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:41 am

somerset-hammer wrote:if it was causing him stress and anxiety, then he has every right to share his feelings on here.


That's what I wrote mate, that if there is a more deep seated emotional/mental health issue, then I would apologise whole heartedly for dismissing his situation. I just didn't get that impression from his posts

Sorry to talk about you SS as if you're not reading any this, but within Eggy's response was something that was clearly playing on the minds of a number of posters, and between your post SS and Eggy's response was the kernel of a discussion about what mental health is. THAT is a really important discussion and one where there is a massive grey area and it would have been great to talk about it more as no-one really has any idea where the cut off point is, so let's discuss it.

But NO. Closed down. F*ck discussing ideas. Let's create an echo chamber of similar viewpoints.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby S-H on Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:55 am

I agree that it's a discussion that is definitely worth having DrV.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Monkeybubbles on Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:04 pm

DrVenk wrote:
That's what I wrote mate, that if there is a more deep seated emotional/mental health issue, then I would apologise whole heartedly for dismissing his situation. I just didn't get that impression from his posts

Sorry to talk about you SS as if you're not reading any this, but within Eggy's response was something that was clearly playing on the minds of a number of posters, and between your post SS and Eggy's response was the kernel of a discussion about what mental health is. THAT is a really important discussion and one where there is a massive grey area and it would have been great to talk about it more as no-one really has any idea where the cut off point is, so let's discuss it.

But NO. Closed down. F*ck discussing ideas. Let's create an echo chamber of similar viewpoints.


I'd be surprised if anyone has any problem with discussing the nature of mental illness, and I agree that it would be a useful and important discussion.

"You should be ashamed" is not an appropriate phrase here, though.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:24 pm

^^^ Yes, you could be right, but it would be interesting to discuss whether it was appropriate or not, especially as being cheated ON is the cause for a lot of mid-life crises and long standing mental health issues. That was at the back of my mind - those who commit or acquiesce in adultery are risking being the cause of deep seated mental health issues related to trust and self-worth.

And I'd like to add, this is not a viewpoint from bitterness, as my ex was definitely doing yoga 6 times a week. She definitely was. Definitely. Ok? :wink:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Tue Apr 24, 2018 1:02 pm

Actually, Dr V, I agree with that. To be fair to DL, it really didn't help me wading in re. how much my mental issues have f**ked up everybody else's life...it was inappropriate.

Perhaps another thread is the best way.....over to you.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:20 pm

Tenners :thup:

I do realise the mods have a difficult and thankless task, but on here it is great to see conversations and debates unfold and go where they go. I just sense there is pre-emptive moderation sometimes which stifles interesting discussions even if such discussions are a bit touchy and close to the mark. They are usually the most worthy of discussions.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Hammers Dad on Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:29 pm

I didn't see the offending response to SS post, but I did read the original and wondered what it was doing in here.
I can understand he might have had some worry about possibly having an STD but his concerns were resolved after a few days...that is not a mental illness and should not be classed as such. Mental illness is not a 3 day wonder worrying about an issue, it is a lifetime of depression, anxiety, feelings of uselessness and can lead to serious repercussions.

I can understand his concerns, just not the reason why it was here.

Anyway.....I have been feeling a bit less than healthy recently (although I have told my wife, who asks a lot if I am OK and if anything is bothering me, that everything is fine); the latest fob off is that I think I may have my sons cold which is why I have a headache, though it's more than that. Not sure what as I am not worried about anything. Home life is fine, work is OK if a little stressful at times though I manage to leave it at the door when I leave the office. No real money worries apart from the obvious wanting more. I don't feel suicidal as I once did, that's all done with, but I do feel like something is not right.

I have a review with the quack to set up, maybe I can get some help there.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby warp on Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:55 pm

Hammers Dad wrote:I didn't see the offending response to SS post, but I did read the original and wondered what it was doing in here.
I can understand he might have had some worry about possibly having an STD but his concerns were resolved after a few days...that is not a mental illness and should not be classed as such. Mental illness is not a 3 day wonder worrying about an issue, it is a lifetime of depression, anxiety, feelings of uselessness and can lead to serious repercussions.

I can understand his concerns, just not the reason why it was here.


one of Slacking's deleted post said that whatever happened led to anxiety and counseling, if i'm not mistaken.

regardless of how trivial something seems to us, it may affect other people in a different way.
telling us something on here may be a first step to open up a bit more.

of course if i come on here all "**** i just spilled me coffee! #sodepressed" you have all the right to tell me to do one, but otherwise i'd keep everything more relaxed. question someone's motive to post on here if you think it's needed, but maybe in a more constructive way.

also, it's not binary, you're not either one inch from suicide or completely sane. whilst i feel for all the guys on this thread (and elsewhere) who seem to be in a very bleak situation, i hope people with "milder" depression don't feel "unworthy" of posting on here.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby S-H on Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:57 pm

Well said Warp.

:thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Joyeux Marteau on Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:58 pm

@ Somerset Hammer & @ Hampshire Hammer

Thanks for your comments, it is osteoarthritis and I got some exercises from the physio to help build up the muscles around the affected areas, mostly concentrating on my knees. I will also look at either Yoga or Pilates, maybe even Tai Chi as I have always wanted to try it. I am also going to go swimming at least once a week as this might help.

I think it is just something I need to get used to.

@ Everyone else

I wish I could be more eloquent but this thread is really important, I know I don't really post on this thread as much as I should but I read it almost every day and it does help and I hope it helps everyone else who may be struggling.

@ Westcliffspur

I just wanted to echo the sentiments of everyone else that has posted on here and say that you are an incredibly brave man and you should be commended. It proves how big an issue this can be for many of us and it is way bigger that the club you support (even if it is the wrong one :D, sorry couldn't help my self ). I wish you and your family all the best for the future.
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