A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:29 pm

pablo jaye wrote:I know what you mean about SAD - the short dull days when you never see the home in daylight is a bit testing. I went out for a run this morning just before daylight and that really picked me up. One part that I did find particularly uplifting was doing a few laps around a small park ( a 500m circuit). Each time I went around it, it was getting lighter and that somehow lifted me.
I don’t know if you run but even walking around a local park might help. The park doesn’t necessarily need to be a formal park but any open area where there is grass, trees and planting (rather than walking in more urban built up areas). If you do give it a go, it would be genuinely good to know how you felt after it. More and more GPs are prescribing some form of exercise in open space - so would be good to put it to the test. It works for me - every time I finish a run/walk, I feel heaps better.

Great advice, Pablo.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby prince_huggy on Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:36 pm

Cheers Samba. I used to be subscribed Vit D but have had it taken off for the reason you mention.

Ordering my own stock of Vit D as I type.

Only thought of SAD as it's that time of year but get regular low moods anyway. Hypothyroidism diagnosis has helped with this.

:thup:
Last edited by prince_huggy on Wed Dec 05, 2018 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Rocketron on Wed Dec 05, 2018 5:04 pm

prince_huggy wrote:Cheers Sambo. I used to be subscribed Vit D but have had it taken off for the reason you mention.

Ordering my own stock of Vit D as I type.

Only thought of SAD as it's that time of year but get regular low moods anyway. Hypothyroidism diagnosis has helped with this.

:thup:

Oops :lol:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby prince_huggy on Wed Dec 05, 2018 5:16 pm

Rocketron wrote:Oops

Edited :oops:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby DrVenk on Wed Dec 05, 2018 6:34 pm

Vit D3 chaps, D3. That's the one that works.

Great to see this thread still ticking over with lots of great advice and support. F*cking love you lot.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Wed Dec 05, 2018 7:05 pm

Rocketron wrote:Oops

prince_huggy wrote:Edited :oops:

:lol:
'Love thy Neighbour'...
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Rocket on Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:11 pm

Tenbury wrote:Mushy.
It was an unhelpful and off topic post.
The overwhelming majority of MH issues can be overcome with help, and the sooner it's sought out the better.
There's an issue behind availability of treatment, but that shouldn't put off anyone.

Mate, in no way was your post unhelpful or off-topic. It's really important to talk about these things. And I'm sorry if my post hit a nerve. I wasn't trying to say that suicide is an exclusively male issue.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Rocket on Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:15 pm

Anyway I just saw the girl for a drink and it was awful, so awkward, neither of us knew what to say, she just walked away when I walked to the station with her, ****ing crying my eyes out now, on my way to see some mates.

I know people will say it's no good for me but I want to stay friends with her in the long run because before anything happened she was the best friend I could have asked for when I was going through some really tough times at my previous job and I don't want to ever forget that.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Adrianisournumber1 on Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:52 pm

Thinking a lot lately and reading some comments on here, i feel Suicide is Selfish to a degree but its also selfless for the person in that situation, it's selfish as they have taken there life and people feel that is an easy way out instead of trudging through life and trying to get some sort of normality, it is selfless as they feel they are a burden on others and often feel that if they wasnt here everyone else lifes would be a bit easier, when actually the opposite is true.

Ive talked at conferences about the effect Suicide had on my life, but ive been suicidal also and it brutal and i am in still two minds if i see the act as selfish or selfless, My Dad killed himself and due to that most my childhood was spent in the care system, i didnt know he had killed himself until i was 15 but when i did find out i started studying Suicide and become almost obsessed with it for a long time, i was diagnosed as having Border line personality disorder and PTSD triggered by the birth of my son and then finding out about the childhood abuse suffered after my Dad died. I hated him for a very long time still do, but i found out this year that just before he died i had another brother who died of cot death and it was soon after this that my Dad killed himself, so i got an understanding how he must have been feeling at the time, my mum had also left him for another man who was abusing me but he wasnt aware of it at the time, i wonder if he hadnt killed himself if i would have been put in care and i would never have lost contact with my sister and other family. We can only wonder now really.

One thing ive learnt life isnt easy and living with mental health conditions certainly isnt, i struggle still today i wake up wonder if life is worth the daily slog, and i think part of the problem is that my major depression happened in a key area of my life that today im now held back as job prospects are few and far between, my mental health wont ever be perfect and i know il have crisis in the future, my condition isnt cured its managed and often that means being on meds for a long time body becoming normalised and then changing after a crisis. The issue is the help isnt really there during stable periods when you should have a support worker asking what you done this week, this month etc... and being able to spot signs off a possible change in mood, instead it gets to crisis point and then you get the support you need but that can often be to late.Being sectioned 3 years ago after trying to fly was the most eye opening experience ive had and Sussex Partnership are helping support me to become a peer mentor at the local hospital, i volunteer at the moment i dont work, ive got back into work and end up having meltdowns and it creates more strain. My wife earns enough to support us and have a bit extra, we dont get benefits except DLA and that just helps me with me medication charges i am only allowed 7 days at home due to pass overdoses.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby last.caress on Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:22 pm

Adrianisournumber1 wrote:Thinking a lot lately and reading some comments on here, i feel Suicide is Selfish to a degree but its also selfless for the person in that situation, it's selfish as they have taken there life and people feel that is an easy way out instead of trudging through life and trying to get some sort of normality, it is selfless as they feel they are a burden on others and often feel that if they wasnt here everyone else lifes would be a bit easier, when actually the opposite is true... ive been suicidal also and it brutal and i am in still two minds if i see the act as selfish or selfless.


I think it's easy, looking from outside the perspective of a suicidal individual, to see the ways in which it's a selfish act; to see the grief and hurt felt by those friends, loved ones and dependents left behind as well as by anyone traumatised by directly experiencing the suicidal act. But the suicidal individual only sees himself or herself as a hindrance to the happiness or success of those closest to them. This act, as hopeless as it seems, is often felt by the individual to be a selfless and altruistic act, probably the only one they feel they can make. So, imho it is a selfish act but it's absolutely not from where they're standing, in many cases. I have wanted to die before, many years ago now, and I honest-to-Christ felt that it would be best for everybody else around me, not really for me.

I'm truly sorry your dad killed himself. My dad simply abandoned us and I've often said that I hope he's killed himself somewhere out there but that now seems like a horribly trite attitude to take when hearing from someone to whom this has actually happened. I'm also sorry your dad went through the horror of experiencing the death of his infant child. I guess awful thoughts of "What if..?" cross the minds of every parent and, when my lad was a baby/toddler, I sometimes considered what I'd do if he just stopped breathing in the night, and died, and I recall always thinking that I'd take my own life there and then, just in case the tubthumpers were right all along and there IS an afterlife; he'd still be my son and I'd still have a duty to look after him, wherever that may be. It's a thought process which gives no consideration to anyone else of course but, when you're not thinking rationally, it sounds bloody compelling.

Just my opinions based on nought but my own thoughts and limited experiences.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:59 pm

Rocket wrote:Mate, in no way was your post unhelpful or off-topic. It's really important to talk about these things. And I'm sorry if my post hit a nerve. I wasn't trying to say that suicide is an exclusively male issue.

He wasnt referring to my post, it was his own he was talking about.
Its the normal kumb miscommunication.
And your post hasnt hit a nerve either, well not with me anyway.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Rocket on Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:34 pm

Yeah I know Tenbury was talking about his post. :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:01 pm

Your last posts, Adrianisournumber1 & last.caress were so moving & insightful.
I haven't had close personal experience of someone ending their own life, aside from a Great Uncle (long before I was born) & an ex-work colleague. I guess in both cases, for whatever reasons, they must have felt that there was no way out or that they couldn't carry on. They both left devastated loved ones.
I can't begin to imagine how devastating it must be to have someone close, do it.
We can only hope that those that do it are not suffering anymore. However, those they leave behind, suffer for the rest of their lives.
It's just all so sad.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Thu Dec 06, 2018 10:47 pm

Samba, what a terrific post,and you are correct it really is all so sad.
Last Caress and Adrians, also brilliant posts.
For me the selfish/selfless argument is a mute one, I think we concentrate too much on it as in my experience the suicidal person is in too much of a dark place to make any rational decision whatsoever.
The utter dispair that they must be going through means that quite often they feel totally worthless as human beings, this often leads to a situation where they feel that killing themselves is not only best for them, but also best for everyone else, after all who really wants to be a huge burden on those we care for?
They convince themselves that after some initial sadness and grief, that family members will quickly get over it, and after a while feel a sense of relief that its actually all over.
In a nutshell they convince themselves as worthless human beings that its the right thing to do.
And what about the person who has nobody at all ? (Its more common then you think). If they just slip away quietly with little fuss, then I would say they are damaging nobody else but themselves.
As such to me this cant be selfish can it?.
This is why talking to people who we suspect might be in a dark place is so important, a casual conversation with someone we know who we suspect might be going through a bad time can make all the difference, it can make them see that there are people that care (severely depressed people are often convinced that nobody cares for them, its all part of feeling worthless). That conversation can make a real difference to someone, and can be the difference between life and death.
I didnt mean to come across all dramatic!

The above are just my own thoughts, feel free to debate and disagree, I promise no offence will be taken at this end.
I also understand that with the messy train jumper type deaths where some poor sod has to clear it up, and some more poor sods have to witness it then there is a lot of anger towards these types of death, I get that, I really do.
I just wonder what must be going through the minds of people that do this. My conclusion is that they want death and they want it quickly, its all they can think of and as such thinking of the effect on others doesnt even occur to them, does this make them selfish ? I dont know. All I feel is pity, and sadness for the witnesses and the people left behind.
As I have stated, I dont think the selfish/selfless argument is a simple one.I would prefer not to judge or label them as either.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:00 am

mushy wrote:Samba, what a terrific post,and you are correct it really is all so sad.

:thup: Right back at you, mushy. As usual, a great post by yourself. So thoughtful.
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