Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.

Moderators: bristolhammerfc, sicknote, -DL-, Rio, Gnome, chalks, the pink palermo

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby bristolhammerfc on Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:46 am

TOMOS and anyone else having education issues

https://contact.ofsted.gov.uk/online-complaints

They have to look into complaints of bullying etc.
User avatar
bristolhammerfc
 
Posts: 8336
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:50 pm
Location: In the city of Brunel, balloons and banksy

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri Feb 08, 2019 4:13 pm

Thanks , lads - appreciate all your messages and thelink to the Complaints - the thing is the marking of the exams and whether you pass or fail is up to this man so I'm not going to upset him - it was just very upsetting to see my boy crying his eyes out on his own after being interrogated by two lecturers , all over a phone - I had already heard from Dan that this guy was singling him out but I was just putting it down to Dan maybe exaggerating but yesterday just brought it all home to me and I went into a rage - that hasn't happened in a while .

I was feeling sick with worry in the night but thought I was ok in the morning - I took my blood pressure and it was 190/100 :) - not good .

Then this afternoon I discovered that my sister has had a mini stroke and has fallen and broken her hip !

Then my best mate's [ who passed away from Motor Neurone Disease ] sister got in touch to tell me her Mother is at death's door - a trip down to Anglesey beckons .
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 16707
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Westbourne Bill on Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:12 pm

First time I've taken a look on this thread, and it really is a credit to all its contributors. I wish all sufferers well.

Incidentally, my wife is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) therapist primarily in the NHS but with 4-5 private patients she sees weekly. I can vouch for its effectiveness in helping sufferers deal with stress, anxiety, depression and phobias provided the patient makes the effort in to engage with it. Its accessible either through a GP, self-referral or (to avoid a waiting list ) by identifying a BABCP accredited therapist on their website. There are other options and therapies of course, but I can only personally speak of this one.
User avatar
Westbourne Bill
 
Posts: 4656
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:49 pm
Location: W Sussex

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Samba on Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:12 pm

F**king 'ell TOMoS, it never rains, does it..
I don't blame you for being so angry with Dan's teacher, it's not f**king good enough. He knows full well that your son has special needs but is treating him the same as someone who hasn't. That is direct, disability discrimination.
I know it's not easy mate & is the obvious thing to do is to lose your temper with them but please try to (as you well did) continue to keep calm (& assertive), when dealing with all of them, at your Dan's college.
As for your news this afternoon, bloody 'ell, you really needed that, didn't you..
Still, your blood pressure is still probably better than mine!
Seriously though, keep up with the gentle but getting slightly breathless, walking. It will help with bringing the bp down. Maybe try some meditation or mindfulness (my Mum called it mindlessness!) with Dan, as well.
And remember, this bad situation with Dan & that idiot teacher, is not going to be forever.
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 4591
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Playing Humm Bug & trying to hum, 'Ballroom Blitz'...

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:31 pm

Cheers , Samba -

The sad thing is when I first met this bloke I thought he was brilliant and he told me that he would accept Dan for a Degree Coure after completing thi current course - you've hit the nail on the head in he's treating Dan as a ' normal ' student - but he's also responding to the criticism that the head of special needs has sent him and is trying to show Dan as the villain of the piece .

If you ever met Dan you'd think he was one of the nicest , most polite young men you'd ever met - he doesn't deserve this treatment .
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 16707
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby FreeWheeling on Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:47 pm

Sometimes in all the help possible is not enough :(
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-b ... e-47172929

Stating the obvious , the mood at the Academy is very sombre
FreeWheeling
 
Posts: 3168
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 6:55 pm
Location: Novichok City

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Rocket on Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:27 pm

ToMoS,

I'm sorry to hear about your son and sister. Nobody likes to be shouted at. You mentioned special needs - I don't know what learning difficulties your son has but if they are in any way severe then I imagine that just exacerbates the sitiation.

As a teacher, I cannot help but wonder what is going on in this chap's life to make him behave that way. Last year I went through a horrible time at my old school and there were occasions when I would lose my temper with the kids. After a difficult meeting or similar, a child acting up in a lesson - or me thinking that they were acting up - would sometimes tip me over the edge. It isn't an excuse but it is, perhaps, an explanation. The thing that makes me think twice is that I would later apologise to a kid if I felt I'd been over the top with them whereas it sounds like this guy hasn't. Please be clear, though, I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour.




Also, thank you to everyone who offered me support a few pages back. I know I haven't replied properly but it's really appreciated.
User avatar
Rocket
 
Posts: 4100
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2005 9:53 am
Location: South-East London

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Samba on Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:10 pm

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/09/feeling- ... e-8469750/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Feeling irritated, stressed, and finding it hard to get stuff done? You might have cognitive fatigue - metro.co.uk
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 4591
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Playing Humm Bug & trying to hum, 'Ballroom Blitz'...

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:13 pm

Rocket wrote:ToMoS,

I'm sorry to hear about your son and sister. Nobody likes to be shouted at. You mentioned special needs - I don't know what learning difficulties your son has but if they are in any way severe then I imagine that just exacerbates the sitiation.

As a teacher, I cannot help but wonder what is going on in this chap's life to make him behave that way. Last year I went through a horrible time at my old school and there were occasions when I would lose my temper with the kids. After a difficult meeting or similar, a child acting up in a lesson - or me thinking that they were acting up - would sometimes tip me over the edge. It isn't an excuse but it is, perhaps, an explanation. The thing that makes me think twice is that I would later apologise to a kid if I felt I'd been over the top with them whereas it sounds like this guy hasn't. Please be clear, though, I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour.




Also, thank you to everyone who offered me support a few pages back. I know I haven't replied properly but it's really appreciated.



Dan is the only student with Aspergers , the rest are ' normal ' - we've explained to the lecturer on more than one occasion about what triggers his fears - obviously without being in the class with him I wouldn't know how severe this bullying actually is but I've never seen Dan as upset as last Thursday - I'm happy go lucky and like to think I'm a nice guy but I saw red and this man could see it - he was standing up while I was sitting , he's around 40 , I'm 62 and he was saying ' I don't like your tone , I'm not having this ' - I was honestly eyeing him up thinking ' Would it take one punch or two ? ' - silly I know but I was raging .

Thanks for being so understanding and nice about all this , guys - I'm not a thug , honestly !
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 16707
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Samba on Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:15 am

The Old Man of Storr wrote:Thanks for being so understanding and nice about all this , guys - I'm not a thug , honestly !

TOMoS, when slightly peeved...
Image
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 4591
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Playing Humm Bug & trying to hum, 'Ballroom Blitz'...

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:47 am

:lol:
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 16707
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Mon Feb 11, 2019 4:17 am

Westbourne Bill wrote:First time I've taken a look on this thread, and it really is a credit to all its contributors. I wish all sufferers well.

Incidentally, my wife is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) therapist primarily in the NHS but with 4-5 private patients she sees weekly. I can vouch for its effectiveness in helping sufferers deal with stress, anxiety, depression and phobias provided the patient makes the effort in to engage with it. Its accessible either through a GP, self-referral or (to avoid a waiting list ) by identifying a BABCP accredited therapist on their website. There are other options and therapies of course, but I can only personally speak of this one.


Glad to hear this mate...am waiting for my first CBT appointment, which I had hoped would already be in the offing. I've put this sort of therapy off many times in the past but having got to a suicidal low-point at the end of last year, I now feel I need to try anything and everything to try to clobber it. 30 years of this **** now and whilst I don't know if I'll ever be free of it (can't see it...dunno if one can shrug off Bipolar2 and depression/anxiety that way!), I'll do ANY thing to at least make it something I can 'cope' with. Otherwise, frankly I'd rather be a goner.
User avatar
WestHamByTheSea
 
Posts: 4112
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:37 pm
Location: Turning the TV off, making some tea, and saying modern life well it's rubbish...

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Samba on Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:12 am

WestHamByTheSea wrote:Glad to hear this mate...am waiting for my first CBT appointment, which I had hoped would already be in the offing. I've put this sort of therapy off many times in the past but having got to a suicidal low-point at the end of last year, I now feel I need to try anything and everything to try to clobber it. 30 years of this **** now and whilst I don't know if I'll ever be free of it (can't see it...dunno if one can shrug off Bipolar2 and depression/anxiety that way!), I'll do ANY thing to at least make it something I can 'cope' with. Otherwise, frankly I'd rather be a goner.

Actually still better than being a gooner! Sorry for that!
Seriously though WHBTS, much credit to you for doing something positive, about it.
CBT may be really helpful for you. If it isn't though & no way am I saying that it won't be, it wouldn't mean that that's the end of hope for you. There are other kinds of therapy to look into as well & we ourselves are evolving, all the time. Really getting to understand our self can be really helpful.
Just because something might not be, 'the answer' for you, it doesn't mean that something else, won't be.
I remember (well, I've just looked back!) at how bad you felt last November & how painful it was for you.
Please try to be kind to yourself, I know the nature of the beastie is so good at making us hate ourselves, we really are our own worst enemy, sometimes.
There's always hope & I hope you get a dollop of it soon!
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 4591
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Playing Humm Bug & trying to hum, 'Ballroom Blitz'...

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby davids cross on Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:58 am

WHBTS.

The way people think becomes so terribly ingrained when it is mixed with the fear that anxiety, depression..et al, can bring. You go round in circles ....the same circles.

CBT challenges all this.

Helps you to see that you are thinking down ingrooved parallel lines that fear has brought upon you.

I'm sure it can be massively helpful. Good luck to those trying it... :thup:
User avatar
davids cross
 
Posts: 24651
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:20 pm
Location: Crawley, West Sussex.

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby mushy on Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:44 pm

FreeWheeling wrote:Sometimes in all the help possible is not enough :(
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-b ... e-47172929" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Stating the obvious , the mood at the Academy is very sombre

Thats not great Freewheeling, the suicide rates of service personnel and ex service people is through the roof.
The support networks for ex- service are appalling, people with PTSD are being released into the community with little or no help at all.
You mention the mood of the academy as if you are part of it, if so I wish all of you all the best and please get any support that is offered.

Hope you are ok.
mushy
 
Posts: 13071
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Tenbury on Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:56 pm

WHBTS,
Wether it works or doesn't, and obviously fingers crossed all round, you ARE making steps to coming to terms with your BP. That must tell you something.
Good Luck mate, you know you can pm me ,etc..etc..
User avatar
Tenbury
 
Posts: 2803
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
Location: Too near Kidderminster

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby FreeWheeling on Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:20 pm

mushy wrote:Thats not great Freewheeling, the suicide rates of service personnel and ex service people is through the roof.
The support networks for ex- service are appalling, people with PTSD are being released into the community with little or no help at all.
You mention the mood of the academy as if you are part of it, if so I wish all of you all the best and please get any support that is offered.

Hope you are ok.

I am not a direct employee of the academy, I spend a minimum of 6 weeks a year running IT kit for a certain exercise.

I was there on site last week when the cadet was found, very unpleasant , as one instructor put it, Its a massive **** sandwich.

Hopefully lessons will be learned, I will however comment that the cadets are treated will a lot of respect by the academy staff ,cadets are also expected to treat each other with the utmost respect, far more than at other sites, and I have been to a lot of them

Still an atmosphere today a lot of officials onsite , I will see what its like when we get 100 OCDT on start ex tomorrow
FreeWheeling
 
Posts: 3168
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 6:55 pm
Location: Novichok City

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby Samba on Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:18 pm

davids cross wrote:WHBTS.
The way people think becomes so terribly ingrained when it is mixed with the fear that anxiety, depression..et al, can bring. You go round in circles ....the same circles.
CBT challenges all this.
Helps you to see that you are thinking down ingrooved parallel lines that fear has brought upon you.
I'm sure it can be massively helpful. Good luck to those trying it... :thup:

Very interesting, dc. :thup:
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 4591
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: Playing Humm Bug & trying to hum, 'Ballroom Blitz'...

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby mushy on Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:01 pm

FreeWheeling wrote:
I was there on site last week when the cadet was found, very unpleasant , as one instructor put it, Its a massive **** sandwich.


Am glad that you said the cadets are being treated with respect as the aftermath of a suicide can be devastating for those that have either witnessed it or been beraved by suicide.
Again the likelihood of suicide is much increased in both the above groups.
I hope the army will do all they can for any of the people effected.
.
mushy
 
Posts: 13071
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009

Re: Mental Health (free course starting 28th Jan 2019 - page 66)

Postby mushy on Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:03 pm

https://www.bustle.com/p/6-habits-that- ... y-15726765" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


Dealing with loneliness, a few tips (above link).
mushy
 
Posts: 13071
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009

PreviousNext

Return to The Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: FreeWheeling, mumbles87 and 10 guests