A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.

Moderators: bristolhammerfc, sicknote, -DL-, Rio, Gnome, chalks, the pink palermo

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Thu May 09, 2019 7:17 am

You know, I think when it comes down to it, you can exaggerate the importance of other people's reactions and responses, because the bottom line is either YOU ( quote possibly with medical help) are going to sort this , or it isn't going to be sorted.[ and I say that in all humility, I've given up, and just 'manage ' the situation].

Other people may ,or may not, love you, that's just more complication. If you can't learn to love yourself, at least be detached enough to laugh at yourself from time to time and you should get by OK.
User avatar
Tenbury
 
Posts: 3182
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
Location: Too near Kidderminster

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Thu May 09, 2019 7:39 pm

All very true, Tenners. :thup:
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5824
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Mega Ron on Thu May 09, 2019 8:25 pm

How do you tell someone you love that you're having a tough time?

How do you get through to them that it's 'real', and that platitudes aren't going to do anything but send you away with the same feelings and thoughts?

I'm not even in a bad place or a tough situation, she is but that's a different story, but I can't seem to feel right for very long.
User avatar
Mega Ron
 
Posts: 9255
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:35 pm
Location: Warp's mum

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Joyeux Marteau on Thu May 09, 2019 11:02 pm

Sorry for not posting in a while, I've been trying to figure out a few things. However I have been reading this forum everyday, just wanted to say great news to DL, really happy for you.

I'm really having a hard time at the moment because on my way home yesterday I saw a pigeon stuck in the stupid netting on a building here in Cheltenham, but because I'm a moron, I was not able to phone the rspca. I really did want to but the thought of it terrified me. Anyway I was walking home again today and the pigeon was dead and I feel really terrible. Why couldn't I do something? That bird died alone and scared and I did nothing, what kind of person does that ffs?

I know some people don't care for pigeons but I like them.

Anyway I've decided that I'm not a good person but I'm really trying to change.
User avatar
Joyeux Marteau
 
Posts: 388
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:19 pm
Location: Nice, Cote D'Azur

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Mega Ron on Thu May 09, 2019 11:19 pm

***** keep eating the grass seed in the back garden.

That ****er probably ate too much and his fat ****ing head got stuck.

Greedy twat.
User avatar
Mega Ron
 
Posts: 9255
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:35 pm
Location: Warp's mum

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Thu May 09, 2019 11:37 pm

Mega Ron wrote:How do you tell someone you love that you're having a tough time?

How do you get through to them that it's 'real', and that platitudes aren't going to do anything but send you away with the same feelings and thoughts?

I'm not even in a bad place or a tough situation, she is but that's a different story, but I can't seem to feel right for very long.

If the people you love dont want to listen or are unable to listen then its really hard to tell them anything.
Its really painful for a lot of people to hear and properly understand what their loved ones are going through so they go straight into defensive mode, hence the platitudes you talk of. Their natural caring instincts make them want to be reassuring and helpful, thats why you get people telling you not to worry and that things will eventually work out fine, when in point of fact those things are probably the last things you want to hear.

Why is it important for you that you tell them, and would it help if you unloaded on someone who isnt as close?
mushy
 
Posts: 13537
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Thu May 09, 2019 11:40 pm

Joyeux Marteau wrote:
I know some people don't care for pigeons but I like them.

Anyway I've decided that I'm not a good person but I'm really trying to change.

Am really sorry Joyeux, sounds like you are having a rough old time.
Never quite understood the good person thing , do you want to explain why exactly it is you feel like that?
mushy
 
Posts: 13537
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Thu May 09, 2019 11:45 pm

Mega Ron is furiously searching through his Best Of Mary Berry for a suitable Pigeon Pie recipe .
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 17664
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Fri May 10, 2019 12:02 am

JM,
Faux empathy, or even any f**king empathy, is not usually my thing, but I get it. It makes most people crack up, but I'm famous for getting genuinely suicidal over roadkill. It's something about the ridiculousness of technology versus the purity of nature.....dunno, I just cant deal with it.
Most other creatures are far too smart to waste their time trying to fathom these things out.
User avatar
Tenbury
 
Posts: 3182
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
Location: Too near Kidderminster

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Fri May 10, 2019 12:40 am

Joyeux Marteau wrote:I'm really having a hard time at the moment because on my way home yesterday I saw a pigeon stuck in the stupid netting on a building here in Cheltenham, but because I'm a moron, I was not able to phone the rspca. I really did want to but the thought of it terrified me. Anyway I was walking home again today and the pigeon was dead and I feel really terrible. Why couldn't I do something? That bird died alone and scared and I did nothing, what kind of person does that ffs?

Even if you had called, it may still have died JM. You didn't actually kill it yourself.
I think this episode is symptomatic as to how you, yourself are feeling. I think that you feel alone & scared.
That is not a criticism of you btw, in any way. You'd be surprised at just how many people feel the same inside.
Have you thought about exploring some kind of talking therapy?
It seems to me that you are quite unhappy inside but there are ways of exploring where that comes from & to work your way through it so that you can end up feeling a bit more peace of mind.
And yes, I'd noticed that you hadn't posted for a while!
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5824
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Lovejoy2 on Fri May 10, 2019 8:11 pm

Hi all,

I just wanted to say that I've been actively following this thread over the last few weeks, my backstory is that I've got severe contamination OCD and live every waking second in constant fear of germs and getting sick, not sure if there's any other OCD sufferers on here who can attest that it really is a life consuming condition.

I've been on medication now for about 6 years to help with the anxiety, anxiety which has ultimately led to depression and quite often bouts of anger. I had an awful week over Easter, my Dad was very ill, my wife has long term health problems which were flaring up, things were building up as the week went on and on the Thursday at work I had an outburst after a disagreement with my manager, I literally told my boss that I was wasn't going to be in the next day as I was going to 'top myself' my head was gone for about 5 minutes, I was acting like a mad man pointing at my head and saying 'I'm sick in my head and I've got to leave' pretty much the entire office witnessed my mini breakdown, I grabbed my stuff and walked out. The next day I went sick and called my GP to discuss changing my meds, they suggested I try Venlafaxine (I had been on Paroxetine previously and Citalopram before that).

2 weeks later and today I'm upping my dose to 75mg as advised by my GP, things have generally calmed down since the other week and work has been pretty good about it all, I was back in the office the following Monday (being signed off was not something I'd want, having my routine and going to work actually makes me feel better) I had a meeting with my boss and HR upon my return and they were happy to put it behind us and make sure they could help me going forwards. Embarrassed doesn't even describe how I felt walking back into the office, I was mortified about what had happened, sat hiding behind my screens all morning, but my work colleagues are good people, they didn't treat me any differently to normal which was nice as some people can find mental health problems scary and can easily try and avoid you.

I really just wanted to say that it helped me coming on here and reading how others are experiencing similar issues with their mental health and how everyone on here has nothing but kind words and support for one another, we're not alone, we're fighting the fight together.
User avatar
Lovejoy2
 
Posts: 849
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2003 10:44 pm
Location: In a world of my own

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri May 10, 2019 9:32 pm

Lovejoy - I'd shake your hand but.......... :)

Both my kids were diagnosed with OCD - my eldest had it worse - her thing was to go up and down the stairs three times - then it changed to something else now it's mostly thoughts , but we haven't discussed it for a while - funny thing is , she's a Mental Health Nurse .

I'll do OCD-ish stuff now and again , I think a lot of us do - not walking under a ladder is sort of OCD .

The son of a friend of ours has Autism , part of his condition , I'm going to guess it's similar to yours is he has to pull his sleeves down over his hands so that he doesn't touch things with his skin .

Must be bloody tiring for you , mate [ to say the least ] . You have my sympathies .

Is there some sort of psychiatric help out there , cognitive behaviour etc etc ??
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 17664
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Sat May 11, 2019 12:48 am

Lovejoy2 wrote:I really just wanted to say that it helped me coming on here and reading how others are experiencing similar issues with their mental health and how everyone on here has nothing but kind words and support for one another, we're not alone, we're fighting the fight together.

:thup: Very true, mate.
Great post. Hope the Venla works well.
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5824
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Sat May 11, 2019 12:50 am

The Old Man of Storr wrote:I'll do OCD-ish stuff now and again , I think a lot of us do - not walking under a ladder is sort of OCD .

And actually, a bloody sensible one, TOMoS!
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5824
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Sat May 11, 2019 1:42 am

The Old Man of Storr wrote:
Before I pack my pyjamas and toothbrush , just one question -

Will there be any ' Dancing Girls ' and how big's yer telly ? :)


Seriously , WHBTS , credit to you , mate and not for the first time . :thup:


TOMOS - if you want dancing girls, I'll find dancing girls. I mean they might just have to be some ropey hen-do lot in Bournemouth, although i once accidentally happened across an extraordinary keep-fit class exercising outside the Bournemouth Pavillion last summer (extraordinary cos not one of them looked like they needed to keep fit). Anyway, I'll sort it buddy!


Reciprocally, I've always wanted to visit the lovelier parts of Scotland but never have... being nuts I'd love to request some golden eagles in recompense for the dancing girls.


As with all above TOMOS, would love to host you on the South Coast should you ever be able to venture this way; am still a tad annoyed i didn't meet you in the EHWMC a few years back! :thup:
User avatar
WestHamByTheSea
 
Posts: 4217
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:37 pm
Location: Turning the TV off, making some tea, and saying modern life well it's rubbish...

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Sat May 11, 2019 1:59 am

-DL- wrote:This weekend has been a real struggle. I've been feeling really down, like there's like a big cloud above me..


DL - I don't know if I'm right on this at all (not having experienced your situation), but I wasn't too surprised to read your post and how you're feeling. It seems like a pretty regular response to coming down from being in a horrendous situation, then getting some fantastic news on that situation (albeit not completely emphatic and final).


I know it probably won't help in the short term - with my own issues I've had folk telling me similar platitudes - but your reaction seems very, very normal. It's not something you can really control consciously, but it should pass or at least level off.


Regardless of whether I'm on the ball with this or talking my usual b*llocks, one thing we should always remember is that whatever our instinctive reactions are to something, they ain't wrong; they simply are what they are, ie natural. But you can see them off - once you understand them you can deal with them later.


And again, all of you - there's always a spare room and a clean beach-towel down here when needed (double-bookings aside). :scarfer:
User avatar
WestHamByTheSea
 
Posts: 4217
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:37 pm
Location: Turning the TV off, making some tea, and saying modern life well it's rubbish...

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Sat May 11, 2019 2:28 am

Lovejoy2 wrote:Hi all,

I just wanted to say that I've been actively following this thread over the last few weeks, my backstory is that I've got severe contamination OCD and live every waking second in constant fear of germs and getting sick, not sure if there's any other OCD sufferers on here who can attest that it really is a life consuming condition.

I really just wanted to say that it helped me coming on here and reading how others are experiencing similar issues with their mental health and how everyone on here has nothing but kind words and support for one another, we're not alone, we're fighting the fight together.


Good man Lovejoy. You should feel properly good for highlighting something that I'm sure others on here can identify with to one degree or another.

This is, IMHO, the best thread there's been on KUMB (been on here about 14 years god help me!). I think the clincher for that comment for me is that since the move to the athletics bowl, the sense of identity of what it means to 'be West Ham' has become an increasingly fractious point. For me (especially since this day 3 years ago!), this thread, the peeps on it, and the kindness, empathy, thoughtfulness and downright decency has for me epitomised what being West Ham really entails.


One nice thing about the internet (he realises after about 20 odd years of the thing) - as much as folk insult and mock and slander each other on it, on this site and specifically this thread, we can keep an eye out for one another. It's always well worth remembering that. :clap:
User avatar
WestHamByTheSea
 
Posts: 4217
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:37 pm
Location: Turning the TV off, making some tea, and saying modern life well it's rubbish...

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby pablo jaye on Sat May 11, 2019 8:03 am

Lovejoy - well done for posting on here, hopefully that has helped. Also, I’ve got a lot of admiration for you in going back to the office, that took some guts and it sounds like work are being supportive. If they do offer help, take it and take anything that is offered from anywhere - you never know what will help.

:thup:
User avatar
pablo jaye
 
Posts: 6360
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:08 pm
Location: Underwhelmingly underwhelmed!

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Sat May 11, 2019 8:39 am

pablo jaye wrote:Lovejoy - well done for posting on here, hopefully that has helped. Also, I’ve got a lot of admiration for you in going back to the office, that took some guts and it sounds like work are being supportive. If they do offer help, take it and take anything that is offered from anywhere - you never know what will help. :thup:

:thup:
And never forget Lovejoy2, in terms of embarrassment, today's news is tomorrow's fish & chip paper..
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5824
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Sat May 11, 2019 9:15 am

West Ham By The Sea -

I've only been to Bournemouth once - stayed there for a week - my Mother In Law was dying from Ovarian Cancer and it was her choice to go there for a short break - I'll never forget it as Chernobyl happened that very same week !
Jennie was pregnant with Becky our eldest and she worried about her food intake , where it had come from etc - I guess it was a worrying time for us all .

What I remember from the visit was the amount of ' Art ' and ' Antiques ' shops there - of course Phyllis' illness meant we couldn't enjoy our trip to Bournemouth 100% but we had a nice time mostly .
User avatar
The Old Man of Storr
 
Posts: 17664
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:17 pm
Location: Lost In the Recesses Of My Mind .

PreviousNext

Return to The Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: claretandblue82, jastons, On To Victory, RichieRiv and 4 guests