A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Sat Jun 30, 2018 7:31 am

Snudge, I really can't add anything, ALL the advice above is good. I was married for a similar period of time,way back, and looking back now, I realise it had just run it's course.
Bubbs is 100% right, there are loads of situations where the best for a child is actually for a relationship to finish in a decent manner rather than drag on in acrimony( something very close to me).I
The money thing?..Important.....but ranks below the physical,emotional and mental well being of all 3 of you, get those factors prioritized, and all the rest will follow.
As ever, Samba has it right, you both have to communicate, (I'd keep your 'indiscretions' private,we're it me,they'll just muddy the waters). There are still RELATE groups everywhere,and you can talk to them personally on line for free(this is a great service) Have a look ,and think about it.

Things will get better, take it step by step. Best Wishes.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Adrianisournumber1 on Mon Jul 02, 2018 4:38 pm

i got told to post this here from my thread Beachyhead hope it doesnt contain triggers for anyone

I've been living in East Sussex for 7 years now and become more aware of Beachyhead not just for it's beauty but also its sad attachment to suicide. In the past 2 weeks we have had 10 bodies wash up on the coast line, 3 in one day and obviously the tragic Mum and Son story also. I have been suicidal since i lived here and attempted suicide but i know now looking back there was something in me that didn't want to die, i didn't go to Beachyhead i went to Peacehaven cliffs and i went to an area i realise now that i knew people would find me not far from the main road, near houses and where people walked there dogs. I know i was ready to die that day but i also had hope that it could bring change i was using psychologists and medicine but i felt i needed respite a time out i was hearing voices and struggling badly i had requested hospital but "your not ill enough" and funding wasn't there for the sanctuary. So one day i was like this is it i cant do this any more i had an amazing job, great kids but couldn't get away from the trauma i had faced in early life. So there i was on the cliffs and a women walking her dog found me she went and got her husband and he came and chatted to me, i knew as soon as he made contact that i wouldn't jump i couldnt do that to someone, so he was holding my hand and we talked (where good friends now) he called the police and they sectioned me and that was the best thing that ever happened to me 3 years later im med free father to a 2 year old and loving life again.
But this got me thinking about Beachyhead and why people travel so far to end there life here, the Mom and Son recently travelled from Maidstone, and we read in the papers of people travelling from Manchester and other area of the country and it really got me thinking about if it could be a similar story to me that they went to this place as it was so known for Suicide they have a special team that walk the cliff tops looking for people in a distressed state and try to talk to them out of the situation they are in. I just wonder if its a hope in there head that someone might find me, stop me, ask me how i am doing etc... or am i looking at it to simply, i just dont get why people travel so far to die here, other than a possible hope that something might stop them. The team here is looking at loosing its funding and its operating less than it used to already. I know mental health is a lot more than a simple intervention, but i just wonder how many of these people that end up taking there lifes are going there seeking that intervention but it not happening so they jump i know not everyone will not jump but i just wonder how many want that person to step in and help them get the crisis support they need in a similar way that happened to me.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby S-H on Mon Jul 02, 2018 5:08 pm

Whilst I don't know how to answer any of your questions Adrian, I would like to say what great news it is that you managed to battle your demons and have come out the other side, that's absolutely fantastic mate, although it can't be easy to read of these stories, that are so close to home, and are very very sad, dont let that take you off track, stay strong and keep fighting the fight.

:thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Westcliffspur on Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:41 am

Adrianisournumber1: You have my deepest respect and admiration for your courageous post. It is not easy to talk about feelings of suicide and how close we came. Several pages back I disclosed how from age 11-14 I was molested, raped and beaten at school by two teachers and an unknown man and woman in a house I was lured to. I walked to the end of a pier one evening after the rape when I was 12 and came close to jumping. Another time in my early 20's I nearly jumped off a wall on a bridge where a train was passing below. I had kept all that secret for 40 years until before Christmas. I have been receiving therapy since then at a rape crisis centre and I am so much better. I was able to tell my wife of 30 years what those monsters did to me at school. I told the police too and one of these former teachers was arrested and questioned.

I am so pleased to hear you are mentally in a much stronger place. How wonderful that you have a little boy.

The mental health and for that matter GP services are on their knees currently. I half expect the professional you are seeing to get one of those egg timer sand dispenser things out as soon as you walk through the door. That's it mate - your three minutes are up, Next, please. That's how it feels.

Wishing you continued improved health, Adrianisournumber1.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Wed Jul 04, 2018 2:45 pm

Amazing posts from both Adriansournumberone and once again Westcliffshouldbeahammer.

The honesty and courage you both have shown is incredible.

One thing as regards suicide, suicidal thoughts, and a suicide plan.
Suicide is often seen as a way out, a way out of the pain, be that pain either mental or physical.
There is often a question asked of suicidal people and that is "Have you thought about what it might be like to be dead"?
This isnt as silly as it may sound as many often think about the suicide act as a way out, rather then the consequences.
Not always of course, but might be worth thinking about.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Westcliffspur on Wed Jul 04, 2018 8:43 pm

mushy wrote:Amazing posts from both Adriansournumberone and once again Westcliffshouldbeahammer.

The honesty and courage you both have shown is incredible.

One thing as regards suicide, suicidal thoughts, and a suicide plan.
Suicide is often seen as a way out, a way out of the pain, be that pain either mental or physical.
There is often a question asked of suicidal people and that is "Have you thought about what it might be like to be dead"?
This isnt as silly as it may sound as many often think about the suicide act as a way out, rather then the consequences.
Not always of course, but might be worth thinking about.



I am going to be even more candid now.

For five years I was a platform medium for Spiritualist churches and spiritual centres around south east Essex. I always feel I have to prefix what I am going to say next as some people have strong feelings against mediums and an Afterlife. In the five years, I served churches and gave hundreds of private readings I never took a penny piece. I say this so even if people think I am deluded or it is all BS, I did not do it for monetary gain. I wanted to bring comfort and proof that life is eternal and their loved ones were still around. I even appeared on stage with quite a few famous mediums such as Colin Fry, Tony Stockwell and one who was a serving police CID.

I can say categorically I know what is coming next. I know suicide is not an answer. You simply take all your thoughts & issues over with you and you still need to work through them.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby fjthegrey on Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:14 am

Westcliffspur wrote:I can say categorically I know what is coming next.

Can you really? You can categorically say that we are conscious beyond our current bodies expiration date and our mental struggles are essentially immortal?

I don't care whether what you're saying is coming from a good place or not, I believe what you're saying is dangerous and I think you should remove it from the board. ****ing outrageous claims.

Some people use this thread as a way to tangibly work through mental issues. You've basically just illegitimised it for some by talking about frankly, a load of ****ing nonsense.

I came on here to post that I'm feeling absolutely **** and I'm having to read advice from someone about mediums and spirits, and how it's comforting that life is eternal (not a ****ing comfort at all, by the way) and how it's not possible to escape these negative feelings because they'll follow me whatever I choose to do.

**** you man. Seriously.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:27 am

We were always walking a tightrope with this thread.
I personally think it's worth so much.I' be gutted if we lose it. Please ,please can we keep it together.

WCS, I hear where To FJ tH is coming from, and although I'm genuinely pleased for you that you can find comfort in your firm beliefs, you must realize that others will need a different approach.I write as someone who has made several suicide attempts,some of which were a cry for help, and a couple that were made in the sure knowledge that things had to end,and were about to.
I think this thread has shown great empathy, and ability to listen without judgement, if we're careful ,we can keep it that way.

[ Dr V, where are you?].
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby westham,eggyandchips on Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:49 am

fjthegrey wrote:Can you really? You can categorically say that we are conscious beyond our current bodies expiration date and our mental struggles are essentially immortal?

I don't care whether what you're saying is coming from a good place or not, I believe what you're saying is dangerous and I think you should remove it from the board. ****ing outrageous claims.

Some people use this thread as a way to tangibly work through mental issues. You've basically just illegitimised it for some by talking about frankly, a load of ****ing nonsense.

I came on here to post that I'm feeling absolutely **** and I'm having to read advice from someone about mediums and spirits, and how it's comforting that life is eternal (not a ****ing comfort at all, by the way) and how it's not possible to escape these negative feelings because they'll follow me whatever I choose to do.

**** you man. Seriously.


I think you may need to swerve this thread if you find someones beliefs offensive. I was told a few pages back that we are not here to judge. Sound advice. Take a breath mate.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Mega Ron on Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:49 am

Edit.
Last edited by Mega Ron on Sat Jul 07, 2018 2:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Westcliffspur on Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:04 am

Flthegrey: I respect your views. I have no.problem with people not believing. How can they if they had not had experiences? Also, I was going to post in my bit above that a huge percentage of mediums are kidding themselves and even worse grieving clients. That's why I never charged a penny. I was in it to bring healing.

I grew up in a house off Southend seafront where even from the age of 5 or 6 I could see spirits. I used to describe and pass conversations on to my mum and nan from one particularly lady. My mum said I picked her out of a photo album she showed me. It was my nan's mum who died about ten years before I was born. My four siblings had incidents in the house and this usually coincided with the children next door having the same experiences on the same night. I was the only one of the children who was never frightened as I would sit on the stairs going up to the flat roof that ran the entire length of the road. This building had been constructed in late Victorian time for the wealthy blind of London to come and take the sea air. High railings ran around the high roof and while they could obviously not see the sea they could take the air. Even as a small child I communicated with a spirit on these stairs who had stayed and passed over in the building. It was only when I joined a closed circle for experience mediums when I was in my 40s that I did it so extensively. I learned how to switch it on.and off so to speak. I received messages from a grandfatger of mine who dued nearly 40 years before I was born. I knew nothing about him only he had died 7nyears after the Great War. I was given messages by him telling me the regiment he was in, part of his army number and his occupation before and after the war. My wife later did my family tree and it was all correct. Coincidence? The medium could not have read me as I did not even know this information. He also told me the name if the pub The Green Dragon Braintree where his blacksmith forge premises were.

Like I say I respect people who do not believe. I have seen far too much not to know what comes next. We really are spiritual beings having an earthly experience on the material plane.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Cockneyboy311 on Thu Jul 05, 2018 1:01 pm

Wow, this has taken a turn :arry:

I'm with Tenbury on this. Let's try and keep it together.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Turns to Stone on Thu Jul 05, 2018 1:19 pm

Perhaps we could set up a new thread to discuss 'Mediums and ghosts etc.' Anyone who wants to discuss that can go in there and this thread can be saved purely for mental health issues and how we cope with the lives that we are living now!

This thread is superb, and one of the best things is that it's not about beliefs, or opinions, it's about support.

Providing help, providing an ear and providing the knowledge that we're all struggling.

Hang in there, everyone!
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby S-H on Thu Jul 05, 2018 1:38 pm

Turns to Stone wrote:Perhaps we could set up a new thread to discuss 'Mediums and ghosts etc.' Anyone who wants to discuss that can go in there and this thread can be saved purely for mental health issues and how we cope with the lives that we are living now!

This thread is superb, and one of the best things is that it's not about beliefs, or opinions, it's about support.

Providing help, providing an ear and providing the knowledge that we're all struggling.

Hang in there, everyone!


Couldn't agree more. :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Thu Jul 05, 2018 2:33 pm

Tenbury and TTS have nailed it for me.
Another thread for the afterlife would take care of that.
This thread is too precious to lose.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Thu Jul 05, 2018 4:51 pm

Fantastic responses from all, to this current issue.
The idea for someone to do a new thread for the things that Westcliff was talking about, seems a very good one.
I would think that we all know that Westcliff only had good intentions to help, in his heart.
Equally, I totally understand why fjthegrey was upset, by it.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Clacton-ammer on Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:11 pm

This thread is too important to lose, suggest we lose the last few posts please.

I totally get why FJ reacted, totally, but thread is more important.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Westcliffspur on Thu Jul 05, 2018 7:31 pm

My sincerest apologies. I will stay on topic. I cannot apologise enough to people I may have offended. That was not my intention.

Sorry.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Robbie on Thu Jul 05, 2018 8:39 pm

Westcliffspur wrote:My sincerest apologies. I will stay on topic. I cannot apologise enough to people I may have offended. That was not my intention.

Sorry.

I am going to jump out of my safety zone a bit here.
I have have mental health issues since I was a teenager. I have tackled this largely because I know I have a family who loves me. That isn't to say that I haven't been as close as you can get to the attrition of your own life. I have been on several occasions. The thing that keeps me going is the love of my family and the deep, deep instinct to finish the race.
Westcliff....if anything, you have enhanced my instinct and feeling to carry on. Finish the race...with head high.
Thank You.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby fjthegrey on Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:17 pm

Apologies. As its been quoted, there's no point deleting my post but I would if it hadn't.

I'm a **** and I shouldn't have said anything. You should talk about whatever you want to.

I won't post here again.
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