A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Hugh Jargon II on Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:29 pm

Since my last post my mother has a year to live at most and my wife has breast cancer. Surgery Monday. I’m not right at all. My aggression and short temper is awful and so out of character. I’m not interested in football at the moment. I can’t go to the docs or anything as my mum, wife and kids need me. I’m clinging onto the fact that I’m thinking of others means I’m not too bad. If anyone knows any DIY techniques to control my temper let me know.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Mega Ron on Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:50 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that all that is happening Hugh.

I have to admit to being a seriously moody **** at times this year. I've found that what has helped me recently is to get a plan in place to help me cope with helping everyone else.

The first thing I worked out that I needed to do was to do more exercise. Running and listening to Rage Against the Machine really does clear my head. As well as that I've found that cutting down the amount off coffee I drink has helped make me less likely to snap and also to sleep better.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby ageing hammer on Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:10 pm

Hugh Jargon II wrote:Since my last post my mother has a year to live at most and my wife has breast cancer. Surgery Monday. I’m not right at all. My aggression and short temper is awful and so out of character. I’m not interested in football at the moment. I can’t go to the docs or anything as my mum, wife and kids need me. I’m clinging onto the fact that I’m thinking of others means I’m not too bad. If anyone knows any DIY techniques to control my temper let me know.


You have a PM Hugh :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Hugh Jargon II on Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:22 pm

Cheers Ageing. Likewise.

Hugh
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Hugh Jargon II on Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:24 pm

Mega Ron wrote:I'm really sorry to hear that all that is happening Hugh.

I have to admit to being a seriously moody **** at times this year. I've found that what has helped me recently is to get a plan in place to help me cope with helping everyone else.

The first thing I worked out that I needed to do was to do more exercise. Running and listening to Rage Against the Machine really does clear my head. As well as that I've found that cutting down the amount off coffee I drink has helped make me less likely to snap and also to sleep better.



Cheers Ron.
I’ve forced myself to the gym twice this week after a long period of inactivity. Just getting out of bed ain’t easy these days.
Hugh
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby iLoveLasagne on Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:38 pm

Well done on making it to the gym Hugh. Small steps. Headphones on, block everyone else out. It can help. I used to go running late at night then I would just sit outside afterwards to cool down in quietness. I think we all need a little time to ourselves and some room to think.

Best wishes
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Fri Jul 20, 2018 3:30 pm

I know you haven't got time for the GP, Hugh, but I've been hearing about this online GP where you book and have your consultation all on the net, they can prescribe/ refer just like any other GP, and added bonus, no one around you will know. Just a thought, very best wishes, I'm sure exercise and sleep is the way to go.
All the best as you're going through a really tough time.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:01 pm

Hi Hugh,
As Tenners says, that's a really tough time that you're going through. All of you.
I'm sure all on here really feel for you.
I know I don't need to tell you that your aggression and short temper are the symptoms of the immense stress that you are currently under. Likewise with the finding it hard to get out of bed. All completely understandable at a time like this & nothing to beat yourself up over.
Sometimes when we're under a lot of stress, without knowing it, we can sometimes be shallow breathing. That, in turn ironically, can also make us feel stressed & panicky, so maybe take a few minutes out, now & again to do some proper breathing. Maybe a bit of mindfullness, at the same time.
Perhaps one of the most important things to also remember is that at times of terrible stress, it won't always feel this bad. Things will always get easier in time, even if we can't actually avoid the unavoidables, in life.
This is the work of life that, at the moment, you (& others) are having to do.
We're all thinking of you, mate.
Last edited by Samba on Mon Jul 23, 2018 8:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:26 pm

I'm thinking of you , Hugh - hope it's positive news for your dear wife , it's not how it used to be in days long gone - I know of 3 ladies in our local community who all had breast cancer , they're all on the mend now so the very best of luck to your wife , mate . :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WHU Independent on Tue Jul 24, 2018 12:09 am

Life does like to kick you in the bollox sometimes.

I visited another mate of mine who was in hospital as he was having complications due to his weight - he's a big lad some 26 stone + of him. His heart was beating 20% more than normal, he had some issues with his skin (Odema?) and it all went wrinkly, he had fluid on the testicles that made them swell up like grapefruits (and this hindered his walking) plus he had no energy - he couldn't get up properly.

Despite all this he as very up beat, we laughed and joked and when I left he was happy. He messaged me on Friday that he was let home, he had drugs to sort his heart out, his skin was better and they had worked out a treatment for his testicles.

I got a call today AM to say that he died on Saturday.

In addition, my mate who tried to kill himself collapsed and had to get an ambulance to hospital where he has been diagnosed as having a massive water retention in his stomach. He's like a stick insect with a massive gut. He's surrounded by doctors and I can't go and see him atm. They can't work out why this is happening - it can't be booze as he hasn't drunk for 10+ days.

So basically my day has been ringing lots of mates up telling them that one mate is dead and the other is seriously ill. It's drained me totally and I'm resisting the urge to "drown my sorrows" as I've been on the sauce quite heavy Friday and Sat so am very concious of enjoying drinking too much. That plus using this situation as an excuse to drink booze.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Tue Jul 24, 2018 12:27 am

' When sorrows come , they come not single spies , but in battalions ' .

Really sorry to hear about your mate and the one who's currently in hospital , hope he recovers soon , WHU I .
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Tue Jul 24, 2018 3:55 am

Tough times for you, WHUI , Sounds silly, but amidst all this turmoil maybe you should try to keep yourself as well as you can, however hectic things are I think it's important to look after your own mental fitness as much as poss, if ,for no other reason, you are to be of the most support to your mate who needs you.
(Sleep/exercise/mindfulness, etc etc). Hope you have better news soon. Your friends are lucky to know you.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby ageing hammer on Tue Jul 24, 2018 10:51 am

WHUI very sorry about your mate passing away and the other one, you are right about giving the booze a swerve it won't solve anything for you.

I have lost mates and the only way I got through it was to remember the good times we shared and even though I was crying it was tears of laughter at the great times we had together. I was grateful to have been called their friend and vice versa.

It's a terrible tough time for you but you must try and find a way to get through it, what would your mate have done if it was you who died.

It' s a tough time for you that's for sure.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby WHU Independent on Tue Jul 24, 2018 2:35 pm

Thanks all for your comments - much appreciated. I am training 5 days a week, just to keep my mind off of things, and doing other stuff to keep myself occupied - cooking etc. I haven't drunk since Saturday, but will be meeting up with some of my mates who knew James (who died) for a bit of a wake on Thursday. I failed to mention he was a massive Hammers fan too, and I'll miss our chats about our beloved team.

Done with most of the ringing people now. Had a few more to do today and that's sorted.

A bit of good news on the horizon. My mate with the water problem has been diagnosed with acute water retention and a severe water infection. They are keeping him in hospital for a few days and have filled him full of anti biotics and other medicines, which are dealing with the situation. His stomach has gone from a hard football to a soft football and he's pee'ing for England apparently.

His retention can be treated by tablets apparently, so the prognosis is looking good.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby pablo jaye on Tue Jul 24, 2018 5:58 pm

WHUI - you have my sympathies mate and thanks for posting so frankly and honestly on this thread, no doubt it will help others express themselves. Good to hear that you are keeping busy and off the sauce - it may be just a diversion but the things you are doing are positive. :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Samba on Wed Jul 25, 2018 10:25 pm

WHU Independent wrote:Thanks all for your comments - much appreciated. I am training 5 days a week, just to keep my mind off of things, and doing other stuff to keep myself occupied - cooking etc. I haven't drunk since Saturday, but will be meeting up with some of my mates who knew James (who died) for a bit of a wake on Thursday. I failed to mention he was a massive Hammers fan too, and I'll miss our chats about our beloved team.

Was a sad story WHUI, but at least James is not suffering, anymore.
And what a great memory for you to have, of a really happy, last day with him.
Hope the wake thing goes well tomorrow. Sounds like a good thing to do.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Thu Jul 26, 2018 8:54 am

Sorry if this has been done, but I've only just read this - what a fantastic idea to help raise awareness for such a brilliant cause.

https://www.efl.com/news/2018/april/mind-logo-to-feature-on-efl-shirts-next-season/

Image

Image


:) :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Thu Jul 26, 2018 11:55 am

All good. :thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Patito on Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:00 am

Didn't want a thread like this slipping onto the second page.

Hats off to all those who have been brave enough to come forward and post their struggles on here and the same to those who have posted some tremendous advice as well.

To all those going through a **** time at the minute, just keep going. :kumb:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Tue Aug 07, 2018 9:15 am

Well done Pats :thup:
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