A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:15 am

Joyeux Marteau wrote:I'm finally taking some advice to post so here it goes. .


JM well done for taking this first step, it's incredibly brave of you. Although it might not feel like it's made any difference to how you feel, hopefully in the long run you will look back at your post and acknowledge that it was the beginning of the fight that you WILL win.

May I suggest (if you haven't already) you take a look at this amazing charity.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/

Their useful contacts page has loads of numbers you can call, if you feel up to it.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/useful-contacts/

It's heartbreaking to read what you have been through and are continuing to go through, but you have done the right thing by talking, there are some amazing people on here and beyond that are in your corner, take a look at the links above and see what you think, but in the meantime keep posting on here.

PM me anytime if you ever need to talk.

All the best and take care, mate.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby ageing hammer on Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:49 am

Joyeux Marteau,

I read your post and think you are a brave man to open up to us on here well done you.

I cannot offer you any advice but there are plenty other great people on here that can and will try to help you I am certain of that.

What I can say though is that I understand your pain and you have my utmost respect and support. :)
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Westcliffspur on Fri Oct 05, 2018 5:29 pm

Adrianisournumber1 wrote:Still smashing my head against the brickwall with regards to freedom of information stuff, picked up historic medical records today not easy reading in the slightest. Seems their is a missing NSPCC report that could be vital, finally found my abusers date of birth today was in the medical report.

Am getting some support now with this wife noticed a down turn in my mood, been snappy and moody, feel the police have been lazy and just get emails saying have you found any more reports yet, nothing like they are actually doing anything to help. so think im frustrated

On olazipine and metrazipine and seem to be doing a job.

the thing i find most staggering is every single one of his kids where abused all show signs of physical abuse and some of the girls sexual abuse. Yet he wasnt once prosecuted by the police due to lack of evidence that it was him, now this man had 4 kids after i was born and already had atleast 3 and all of them faced child abuse and where placed in care.

Am I the only one missing something here?


Adrian: If you ever need to talk to anyone you can always pm me. I suffered sexual and physical abuse between the ages of 11-14 at secondary school. I spent 40 years believing I was being strong by remaining silent but I have learned this year that real strength comes in speaking out. I started therapy in January and it was the best thing I have ever done. I have achieved so much since then. As an adult I suffered numerous nervous breakdowns, self-harming and I have been on anti-depressants for over 20 years. All due to two male teachers and two of their associates.

I reported them to the police in March and one of the teachers has already been hauled in for questioning. The investigation is ongoing. The strange thing is the former teacher only lives five minutes walk from our house. I had to promise my wife and the two female police officers I would not go around to smash the hell out of him.

I am trying to turn a negative into a positive as a month ago I started training myself with the intention of becoming a counsellor.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Sat Oct 06, 2018 3:54 pm

Joyeux Marteau wrote:. The one problem I have is that people don't really listen to me which is most frustrating, this is even if I know what I'm doing or where I am going.

.

Being listened to is so important, I cannot stress how important it is for a lot of people.
Learning to listen to others,without interrupting, judging or trying to provide instant solutions is one of the
best things we can all learn to do, in my humble opinion of course.
Thats a fantastic post JM and well done, have you thought about trying to find someone that will be a good listener? Families and friends can often be too close for this sort of thing, strangers are often better listeners.

Westcliffspurs,
Great news about the counselling, let us know how it goes please.
Well done sir.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby westhamshares on Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:15 pm

I’d like to echo the comments of somerset and ageing for joyeux and others who have posted on this thread

Just the first step in a journey that will see with the help of others far more qualified than me an improvement I have no doubt in each persons situation - everything I read tells me it is good to talk

As I wrote previously I don’t pretend to have any counselling skills (my adult female kids would no doubt squirm at the thought as they consider me to be an old skool bloke despite my best efforts to show an understanding of their issues)

Anyways if anybody who goes to games wants / needs someone to speak to have a drink (tea or alcoholocH before or after them pm and I’ll happily meet them

As I posted earlier there is a 1980 fa cup reunion this coming Thursday in Southend

Someone has dropped out so I now have.a pair of tickets going free to anyone who has posted on this thread and you will have the pleasure of being with me mushy doc ball and some other post 50 years olds being nostalgic about the 1970’s and early 198’s with our Claret and blue tinted specs firmly planted

If you would like to come to the reunion please pm me your details
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby iLoveLasagne on Tue Oct 09, 2018 10:46 am

Again, wonderfully kind of you westhamshares. There are many people who claim to be good people but don't really do anything to justify that term. There are good dads, good husbands, good neighbours. But what we see here are good individuals who are giving back to strangers with nothing expected back in return. What we see on threads like this is an example of good people being altruistic and are truly deserving of being labelled as good people.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Puff Daddy on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:42 am

In my job of trying to get the long term unemployed back into work, I counsel a hell of lot of people suffering from anxiety and depression and my belief is, many of them hide behind this excuse. Yesterday, one of customers who claims to have suffered with this for nearly 10 years and who has not done a stroke of work in that time, told me, one in four people in this country has this condition. In a country with a 60 million population, does that mean 15 million of us are not quite right in the head ?
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Tenbury on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:53 am

Clearly all they need is as good kick up the arse.I'll be sure to mention it to my shrink at my next appointment.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:13 am

Puff Daddy wrote:In my job of trying to get the long term unemployed back into work, I counsel a hell of lot of people suffering from anxiety and depression and my belief is, many of them hide behind this excuse. Yesterday, one of customers who claims to have suffered with this for nearly 10 years and who has not done a stroke of work in that time, told me, one in four people in this country has this condition. In a country with a 60 million population, does that mean 15 million of us are not quite right in the head ?

For fu** sake Puff, none of this is helpful.
Am not sure what type of counsellor refers to his clients as customers but you
are also clearly not the right person for this type of work.

On a different note today is World Mental Health day.
Despite what Puff says, its actually OK not to feel OK.
Good luck everyone and please keep talking.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:34 am

mushy wrote:On a different note today is World Mental Health day.


:thup:
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby the celestial insect on Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:49 am

mushy wrote:For fu** sake Puff, none of this is helpful.
Am not sure what type of counsellor refers to his clients as customers but you
are also clearly not the right person for this type of work.

On a different note today is World Mental Health day.
Despite what Puff says, its actually OK not to feel OK.
Good luck everyone and please keep talking.


Absolutely agree. I've probably said it before somewhere, but I've been treated for depression since my teens. Almost inevitable given my upbringing and lineage. Most of the time, I manage okay. I had a good, long-standing career only because I got the right treatment and my employers eventually saw that my strengths outweighed my 'issues'.

But it is, always has been, and always will be variable. There have been times when I've been very, very ill, and I'm lucky to still be here. What I'm trying to get across (to anyone who faces similar issues) is that it's possible to live with this and still have a fulfilling life...even though that sometimes seems out of reach. Recognise when you need help and don't hesitate to ask for it. You are absolutely not alone, and the potential for better, happier times is a reality.

Puff -- I'd respectfully suggest that your views belong on a debate thread on NUMB, rather than in a thread like this that offers much-needed support.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Rio on Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:58 am

Puff Daddy wrote:In my job of trying to get the long term unemployed back into work, I counsel a hell of lot of people suffering from anxiety and depression and my belief is, many of them hide behind this excuse. Yesterday, one of customers who claims to have suffered with this for nearly 10 years and who has not done a stroke of work in that time, told me, one in four people in this country has this condition. In a country with a 60 million population, does that mean 15 million of us are not quite right in the head ?


With a statement like that you've automatically qualified yourself as one of them. 1 in 4 I would say is a low figure.

Anxiety, depression and all the other various mental disorders that affect a larger proportion of the population than most, including yourself would care to admit, manifest themselves in many different ways.

I suffer from chronic anxiety. It's not stopped me from working, but it hinders a lot of things, makes things incredibly difficult at times in various ways. My colleagues have no idea. Most of my family have no idea. My friends have no idea. Why? Because I hide it well? Because the fear of admitting it and potentially losing my job is terrifying? Who knows. No 2 people are the same Puff.

I've no doubt some use it as an excuse not to work, some play the system. But there a lot of people out there who suffer to an extent where they can't work, or who have got themselves into such a situation where they want to, but the prospect is completely daunting.

As someone who works in a counselling role as you say your statement is bewildering, and to be honest incredibly worrying. A lack of belief in the people you're supposed to be helping is quite frankly awful.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby mushy on Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:27 pm

Celestial Insect, Rio,
Top bloody posts chaps.
Very well done both of you and best of luck with it all .
You are both braver then me.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Turns to Stone on Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:44 pm

I've never met anyone who isn't suffering.

Well done to anyone who's coping. To everyone else, keep going.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby dave_l on Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:51 pm

Good posts one and all and this is one of the great things about KUMB.

After my struggles early in the year/end of last I was signed off for a month. During that time I had counselling sessions which I carried on for a fair while afterwards and they really helped.

I should be in for one of the happiest moments of my life - my first kid is due any day now. So far so good with Mum and baby but I've started to feel the anxiousness and depression creep back a bit, not helped by my desire to do exercise reducing. I'm so looking forward to becoming a Dad but for some reason I'm finding the pre birth bit hugely overwhelming. At the moment I'm finding everything frustrating to the point where I've had to really check myself when I'm getting aimlessly angry about some idiot on the road or the ref in football or rugby (almost made a right wally out of myself at a rugby match on Saturday which I realised about 2 seconds after having a bit of an outburst).

I know all the anger is pointless and doesn't do me any good at all, and that I need to be in the best shape possible for my Mrs and the little one but it's been really frustrating these last few weeks. To help I'm making a conscious attempt to get back into a gym routine and wear myself out physically as well as mentally as that seems to really help. As soon as anything starts kicking off I'm talking about it more readily too.

That said, before I got help earlier in the year I wouldn't have thought about this and would have got myself in a ball of trouble. At least I recognise when I'm struggling these days and that's a positive.

Feels hugely better writing it down and getting it off my chest!

Just felt like getting that off my chest.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Officer Dibble on Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:21 pm

dave_l wrote:I should be in for one of the happiest moments of my life - my first kid is due any day now. So far so good with Mum and baby but I've started to feel the anxiousness and depression creep back a bit, not helped by my desire to do exercise reducing. I'm so looking forward to becoming a Dad but for some reason I'm finding the pre birth bit hugely overwhelming. At the moment I'm finding everything frustrating to the point where I've had to really check myself when I'm getting aimlessly angry about some idiot on the road or the ref in football or rugby (almost made a right wally out of myself at a rugby match on Saturday which I realised about 2 seconds after having a bit of an outburst).


I would be surprised if any first time parent doesn't have this feeling some point in their/ their partners pregnancy, the level will be different for individuals though.

From experience I do remember thinking "Will I be a success as a Dad?" Years down the line I still don't feel like I know the answer. I think I am, but at times I do feel like I have let Little Dibble down, these tend to be at times when we have argued.

I also recall thinking bad things about the birth, was I ready to be a Dad, was I too young/ too old and even selfish thoughts. Did I ever tell anyone? No.

Looking back I think all of my anxiety was fear. Fear of the unknown.

It will pass though.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby last.caress on Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:56 pm

Sorry to labour a point that's been made by a good few of you already, but I can't decide whether that post from "Puff Daddy" was the stupidest thing I've ever read on here or simply the most pathetic. I suspect it's both and, as others have already opined, I find it alarming in the extreme that someone with that attitude, lack of empathy and frankly lack of intelligence could be employed to work with people who are suffering in this manner.

It being World Mental Health Day, I came here purely because I thought it was an apt time to 'fess up to the fact that I have been in counselling for extreme depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues for months now, and to further say that the posts on here - all the other posts, not Puff's gormless diatribe - serve as sources of great comfort (in that I'm not alone) and inspiration (from the variety of wonderfully brave and dignified ways in which you gentlemen cope with your individual trials and tribulations), each and every day; and that just because I'm not spilling my myriad problems on here doesn't mean they're not there, and that it probably follows that if I'm receiving such great solace merely by "lurking" on this thread, others almost certainly are too. So I kind-of wanted to say a massive thank you to the regular contributors on here, on behalf of the silent readership. Superheroes, every one of you.

You though, Puff, you should be ashamed of yourself (far more colourful rebuke edited because I'm better than that).
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:31 pm

Elsie, well put my friend.

Sorry to hear of your continued struggles, how do you find the counselling, does it help? I don't go as much as used to, which is a positive in itself, but I found it hugely comforting and helpful just to talk, I hope it works for you too.

I miss reading your brilliantly worded, informative and passionately written posts, on all things movie and tv related.

Stay strong, mate.
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby Adrianisournumber1 on Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:41 pm

Today is world mental health day and just reading this thread is just amazing.

I think we should all team up with Anwar Uddin (ex west ham) but runs a fans for diversity program i work with him a lot was with him earlier today, be great to see if we can get everyone in this thread along to the Olympic park for a day out or something and watch a game
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Re: A thread to discuss depression and other mental issues...

Postby somerset-hammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:42 pm

Cracking idea, that. :thup:
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