What do you do?

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Re: What do you do?

Postby jevs on Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:00 pm

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote:
From that description, he's actually admitting to being Captain Birdseye.


Seaman stains?
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Re: What do you do?

Postby JerseyHammer on Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:32 pm

WCpete wrote:
Jersey, we get the same issues with employees. They want to come work with us because they think there's some level of glamour to it. Noooo. for months on end we work 17 hr days much of which will involve hard labor under stressful conditions with no rest. We've just entered our high season which will carry on through Christmas. We'll have events all over the country that require 5 days of 17 hr days. When the gig is done you fly to the next place and start over as soon as you arrive. We had a new employee snap last spring to the point where he was threatening to harm other employees as well as himself. All of that and they have to do it for people who are generally sh*tty people. It's hard work.


Mate it sounds all too familiar. We often have to go to crew agencies to get people for the summer at the last minute (typically chefs). The agencies show them all the pictures of the lovely ports etc etc and that's it, they turn up in flip flops expecting a holiday.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Joyeux Marteau on Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:17 pm

After all that glitz and glamour . . . .

I work in customer service.

I mainly send emails all day long, not quite rock and roll but it pays the bills and that's the main thing!
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Clucking Bell on Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:10 pm

I'm the co-founder of a company that makes organic waste treatment systems i.e. systems that turn sh!t into fresh water, concentrated fertilizer and biogas. The last year has been very slow and my partner and I haven't been able to draw our salaries so I've resurrected my consulting business again which, in hindsight, I shouldn't have let slide to the extent that I did.

My consulting clients have almost invariably been companies that make things. I put together the business plan and designed the manufacturing plant for a wind tower company. I spent a couple years as the interim CEO of a prosthetics manufacturer to effect a turnaround and I've just finished a gig to put together an ISO-compliant product development process for a Chinese car manufacturer.

The problem with being mostly a one-man band is that when I'm selling, I ain't earning and it's just like a normal job in that potential clients tend to believe that unless I was doing the exact thing that they want done last Friday, that I've somehow forgotten how to do it.

It's very frustrating. I got a call from a guy two days ago from a guy who needs help analyzing fatigue failures on an off-road vehicle but, was concerned about my 'lack of recent experience.'

I tried explaining to him that a) I have a PhD in that subject, b) I did exactly that for the first six years of my career and, c) that, 25 years ago, I actually wrote the ****ing algorithm that's used in more or less every analysis code and the laws of ****ing physics haven't changed in that time.

It's like beating your head against a brick wall, though. There ain't nothing that stays in some people's minds as long as stupidity!

As things stand, I've had to tell Mrs Bell that I'll start looking for a real job. However, as my last real job was twelve years ago and that was as the US CEO for a British auto parts manufacturer that doesn't exist any more, I don't anticipate a big rush to hire me ...... particularly on anything like the same rate.

As my late grandmother was wont to say, it's enough to give your arse a headache.

Still, we might sell a waste treatment system next week and everything will be hunky dory again :)
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Re: What do you do?

Postby CMNinja on Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:20 pm

I write and design internal propaganda magazines for companies and organisations. I also write, film and edit propaganda and training videos. They call it internal communications. However, since going freelance I've had time to pursue some more fulfilling (but less financially rewarding) work. I used to edit non-fiction books - that was a lot fun.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby pablo jaye on Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:50 pm

I manage a team of 14 environmental professionals (landscape architects, ecologists, arboriculturalists and horticulturalists) who are responsible for the development, management protection and enhancement of the green estate of an area in north Hampshire. We secure funding for enhancements, design and deliver projects on the ground in parks and open spaces and also set out how the estate is to be managed in the future.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby hammerdivone on Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:50 pm

pablo jaye wrote:I manage a team of 14 environmental professionals (landscape architects, ecologists, arboriculturalists and horticulturalists) who are responsible for the development, management protection and enhancement of the green estate of an area in north Hampshire. We secure funding for enhancements, design and deliver projects on the ground in parks and open spaces and also set out how the estate is to be managed in the future.


Have you had any involvement with the Whitehill and Bordon regeneration?
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Burnley Hammer on Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:54 am

ICT Service Management Specialist for local government. I just play with databases and dashboards all day, knowing that it's all a big waste of time because everyone ignores them.

Used to be a techie but I've been systematically deskilled over the last 10 years now.

All my motivation for IT has gone, and I wish I'd have gotten into something else years ago. I used to be really motivated and used to spend lots of time at home setting up virtual labs and learning. Nowadays I just live for the outdoors and time at work is just spent daydreaming about my next trip to Snowdonia or the lakes or the peak district.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Shanghai Hammer on Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:47 am

I work in international development, which basically means working with large funders (World Bank, Asian Development Bank, DFID etc) to define and manage projects in developing countries that will have a real impact on improving people's lives such as water supplies, sanitation, climate resilience etc. At the same time the projects must be sustainable and affordable.

It does mean a lot of travelling (I spend around a third of my time on the road) which is not great for the family but I do get to see some interesting places. Unfortunately, by definition, most of them are quite poor. Pay is just OK. Its nice to have a job though where the results are very clear to see.

I also had a related former life working in refuges camps for a few years. I helped to lead the relief efforts just after the Rwandan genocide and also during the Kosovo war. Our dear old Queen gave me an MBE for this back in 2006.
Last edited by Shanghai Hammer on Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby ereford ammer on Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:48 am

I work as a freelance horticulturist tutoring on a degree programme, writing courses for awarding bodies, doing advisory and expert witness work. I also inspect landscape companies for safety compliance as well as pruning orchards. In other words, I have not worked out what I want to do when I grow up.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby pablo jaye on Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:48 am

pablo jaye wrote:I manage a team of 14 environmental professionals (landscape architects, ecologists, arboriculturalists and horticulturalists) who are responsible for the development, management protection and enhancement of the green estate of an area in north Hampshire. We secure funding for enhancements, design and deliver projects on the ground in parks and open spaces and also set out how the estate is to be managed in the future.


hammerdivone wrote:Have you had any involvement with the Whitehill and Bordon regeneration?


No, that's not our patch
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Mega Ron on Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:36 am

I've been working for a legal publishing firm for just over 11 years. I had the interview not long after the cup final and instantly knew the manager was a West Ham fan. We chatted about the club for the whole interview (no HR present) and I knew I had the job.

I remain the only person he ever hired that wasn't a 20 something female graduate.

I've worked in various editorial roles but for the last half dozen years have turned the word documents of the top law and tax professionals into textbooks.

Up until about 18 months ago, aside from about 6 weeks each year, I was doing a few hours work a week. I was getting all my work done and hitting every deadline and worked from home so it was never questioned. My boss at the time just left me to it so I went days on end at times without even looking at the computer. I loved that.

I saw the end of that role on the horizon so studied for and took my tax exams. This was offered by my firm without a training contract so it seemed like a no brainer to me. I actually find tax really interesting and I work with some of the top tax people in country.

I'm now sort of being catapulted into being a tax writer and that should mean that if I work hard enough when necessary that I can get back to my older working pattern. Which would suit me fine.

I come from a fairly shitty background and upbringing so am quite happy with where I am at. Especially as my wife is intelligent and successful and whatever I do is a bonus as far as our finances are concerned really.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Disco on Fri Sep 08, 2017 12:46 pm

JerseyHammer wrote::lol:

Despite sounding like the world's most glamorous job, it is in fact a large amount of tounge-biting and putting up with ****, unblocking toilets (3 times this summer), trying to get them into the most fasionable restaurant at the last second, changing the berth bookings on an hourly basis etc etc.

These mega rich folk can be very, very difficult to deal with. The boat itself presents problems but at least there is some way of planning for that. During the season we get almost nil time off and it's tough. A very large percent of people cannot hack doing 17 hour days, living in a bunk bed, sharing a very small living area, putting up with downright stupid demands, taking c**p all day for stuff that has literally nothing to do with you....oh and you generally won't get to see much of where you go. Our chef had a meltdown during the summer. We went to Lipari 5 times this summer and I never went further than the rubbish bins (i.e. 50 metres from the boat).

Having said all that, I love it. Every day is different, there is always a new challenge and there is a huge amount of satisfaction when things go right.

One thing I should add - they may be loaded but very few of the mega wealthy are genuinely happy people.


Jersey, are you able to describe Lipari? My great grandfather came from there before heading to Australia. Have seen some photos and it looks amazing!! One of my goals in life is to spend some time there. Perhaps a tour on your boat?? :arry:
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Re: What do you do?

Postby sendô on Fri Sep 08, 2017 12:54 pm

WHU Independent wrote:Nothing - I can't be bothered doing a job I don't like, for people I hate, with work colleagues I detest, just so I can bring home some cash to pay rent to millionaires and use the rest to barely exist.

I also think the maxim "I wasn't born to work, pay taxes and die" fits me like a glove.

I've worked all my life, I don't want to do it any more. I want to live a little and do what I want instead of being part of the 9-5 rat race.

You are my hero. :thup:

Sadly I've got a mortgage to pay and kids to support, otherwise I'd happily tell work to go **** themselves.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Turns to Stone on Fri Sep 08, 2017 12:54 pm

I recruit students from the Middle East and South Asia to come and study UG and PG courses at a large University. The commute's a ballache, the overseas travel is a nightmare, but in September when they all get their Visa and arrive and you show them Big Ben and the London Eye for the first time it's always worth it.

I'm basically making dreams come true here, guys!
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Re: What do you do?

Postby JerseyHammer on Fri Sep 08, 2017 1:14 pm

Disco wrote:
Jersey, are you able to describe Lipari? My great grandfather came from there before heading to Australia. Have seen some photos and it looks amazing!! One of my goals in life is to spend some time there. Perhaps a tour on your boat?? :arry:


Pm'd you
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Fishbone on Fri Sep 08, 2017 1:15 pm

Business Intelligence Developer which basically means my job is to take the crappy data populating the source tables from (usually multiple and disparate) systems and make it all structured and easy to read when the end user opens up their Excel spread sheet / data viz tool. Well, that's how it's supposed to work anyway. Currently, spending most of my time looking after four contractors and making sure they are working, than doing any of the development work myself.

Work for a very well known company that often gets slated on here for being the destruction of football, but it pays the bills and getting their products for free is a nice bonus.
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Hampshire Hammer on Fri Sep 08, 2017 1:56 pm

IT Contractor, Enterprise Architect currently working for a government department. Which means that I can be dealing with senior civil servants (who understand policy but not the grass roots job) one day and front line staff the next. A lot of my job is translating what the users need to do their job into technical requirements and trying make sure we as a team deliver something that they can use whilst fitting in to budgets and technical strategy. The actually delivery is provided by multiple companies and often their contracts were drawn up before we knew what was actually required so a lot of time is taken up negotiating changes to these to deliver something that is useful. The current project is moving the users from Windows XP to Windows 10 and Office 365, whilst moving from one set of suppliers to a different set - all of which has to be achieved with minimal disruption to end users. At times it can be immensely frustrating but on the whole I find it interesting ad challenging, I've learnt a lot about the front line services (some I possibly didn't need to know but I find it helps if you can talk to people and sound as though you at least understand the job).
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Re: What do you do?

Postby BalaamBoy on Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:42 pm

I manage a team responsible for taking all of our new innovations from the research and development groups and turning them into something that we can sample, manufacture and sell to our colleagues around the world and their clients, mainly international food and drink companies, but some entrepreneurs as well.

Its pretty good fun - lots of travel, meeting colleagues, clients etc and eating and drinking in some of the best and most creative places.

And they pay me, ha-har!! Suckers!!

CrouchEnd - i think we work on the same projects with the same clients, you on concepts and communication, and me on the thing that actually goes in the packet!
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Re: What do you do?

Postby Vince on Fri Sep 08, 2017 4:25 pm

Shanghai Hammer wrote:I work in international development, which basically means working with large funders (World Bank, Asian Development Bank, DFID etc) to define and manage projects in developing countries that will have a real impact on improving people's lives such as water supplies, sanitation, climate resilience etc. At the same time the projects must be sustainable and affordable.

It does mean a lot of travelling (I spend around a third of my time on the road) which is not great for the family but I do get to see some interesting places. Unfortunately, by definition, most of them are quite poor. Pay is just OK. Its nice to have a job though where the results are very clear to see.

I also had a related former life working in refuges camps for a few years. I helped to lead the relief efforts just after the Rwandan genocide and also during the Kosovo war. Our dear old Queen gave me an MBE for this back in 2006.



Did you ever bump into a guy called John Hare in Kosovo by chance ?
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