Change of career

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Re: Change of career

Postby sendô on Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:15 am

RichieRiv wrote:If you fear that your mental health is at risk, then you need to detach yourself from your job. Ultimately we all need to work to put a roof over our heads and food on the table, so jacking it in for most, isn't realistic. Treat it as a means to an end. The analogy I use is the paper boy / girl. The last thing he / she wants to do is get up at 5am on a cold and wet Sunday morning to deliver the papers - they do though because they know that each week they'll get paid.


Good advice RR, and something I've tried to remember myself.

We work to live, but too many people seem to live to work. My boss seems to like sending emails at 9 at night, then again at half 5 in the morning. How can someone live like that?

bubbles1966 wrote:In your heart of hearts you know when you're ****ing sick of something.

The only questions then are how and when you make the change, not if.


Unless money is a factor, which it is more often than not.

My fear is that I spend all my life grafting hard to pay for things for the family, and then kark it before I can enjoy any of it.

It doesn't help either that I have no time to do things at home that need doing.
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Re: Change of career

Postby wizzo_66 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:57 am

Thanks to everyone for their responses - always can rely on KUMB for some comparable experiences and wise words (and the light hearted sillyness).

Hampshire Hammer wrote:
Make a list of your skills and interests and think where they could be applied - office management is the same everywhere but what else can you add to it and where could you apply it? Do you want to work on your own (is it people that get you down)?


This is really helpful and something I will do. My biggest issue is probably that my current role is very niche - but the skills are broad and incredibly transferable (leaving me with almost too much choice to make an informed decision).

People don't get me down - I enjoy the interaction. The volume and pressure does though....more of that shortly.

Crouchend_Hammer wrote:
Better to realise it at 27, than be in the same situation at 39 with a young child, like I am!


I think that is one of the key issues I have discussed with my wife. We are thinking of having children in 2-3 years. I'm not sure I will be able to consider the position like I am doing now if we have young children.

RichieRiv wrote:
If you fear that your mental health is at risk, then you need to detach yourself from your job. Ultimately we all need to work to put a roof over our heads and food on the table, so jacking it in for most, isn't realistic. Treat it as a means to an end. The analogy I use is the paper boy / girl. The last thing he / she wants to do is get up at 5am on a cold and wet Sunday morning to deliver the papers - they do though because they know that each week they'll get paid.



This is easier said than done - although it's something I preach myself when supporting my wife, family and friends.

The workload, pressure, expectations are so high in my environment, whilst the resources and support are at an all time low. My wife is in a very well paid profession, there are stresses and pressures at work....but when she leaves the door at the end of the working day, there is nothing left behind. The job is done for the day and the fresh set of problems to solve will develop the next working day.

My service is so stretched that bringing work home (not literally, but in my head) because in my statutory led environment there isn't any option but to get the job done. You dread what is waiting for you the next day because you know exactly what is waiting for you and how difficult it is going to be to get it done. That is compounded by the managerial side where we do not have adequate time to coach and manage which is a big part of what being a manager is all about.

RichieRiv wrote:
If you want a sounding board, then please feel free to PM me any time. Sometimes you just need to run things past someone independent. It helps to provide your own clarity, without the usual "you should do this and you should do that".


Thanks - I really appreciate it.

bubbles1966 wrote:
In your heart of hearts you know when you're ****ing sick of something.

The only questions then are how and when you make the change, not if.


I think that was the judgement I finally came to the other week - but I am at risk of the following -

warp wrote: could end up doing something which you will consider even worse.


sendô wrote:We work to live, but too many people seem to live to work. My boss seems to like sending emails at 9 at night, then again at half 5 in the morning. How can someone live like that?


Totally agree - but I can see how someone find themselves in that situation. Particularly in my line of work. I don't do this because I feel it would be a slippery slope for me. But to be honest, I could do - to attempt to keep on top of everything.
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Re: Change of career

Postby sendô on Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:09 am

wizzo_66 wrote:My service is so stretched that bringing work home (not literally, but in my head) because in my statutory led environment there isn't any option but to get the job done. You dread what is waiting for you the next day because you know exactly what is waiting for you and how difficult it is going to be to get it done. That is compounded by the managerial side where we do not have adequate time to coach and manage which is a big part of what being a manager is all about.

Sounds a lot like my job tbh.
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Re: Change of career

Postby Mega Ron on Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:22 am

This may sound like poncey, modern advice but I'm going to give it away.

Do a bit of research and get yourself a life coach. They'll help you to make some good decisions and will help you to get where you want to be.
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Re: Change of career

Postby wizzo_66 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:24 am

Mega Ron wrote:This may sound like poncey, modern advice but I'm going to give it away.

Do a bit of research and get yourself a life coach. They'll help you to make some good decisions and will help you to get where you want to be.


Tell you what - not poncey at all. Came very close to engaging one and bottled it.

He charges £3595 for his programme.

I'm very open minded and I reckon a life/career coach would be a decent investment - I haven't stumbled across one I want to take the leap of faith with yet.
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Re: Change of career

Postby Crouchend_Hammer on Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:57 am

Honestly Wizzo, you can spend £4000k on a life coach, or spend a bit more and take a proper break for 6 months/ year

The second option would definitely be more useful IMHO
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Re: Change of career

Postby sendô on Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:09 pm

I'm now considering changing careers to be become a life coach.
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Re: Change of career

Postby wizzo_66 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:11 pm

sendô wrote:I'm now considering changing careers to be become a life coach.


:D I did think exactly the same thing when I spoke to him.

There are some much more modest priced ones locally with glowing reviews. Think I will try them first.
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Re: Change of career

Postby wizzo_66 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:12 pm

Crouchend_Hammer wrote:Honestly Wizzo, you can spend £4000k on a life coach, or spend a bit more and take a proper break for 6 months/ year

The second option would definitely be more useful IMHO


Hear what you say - and it is appealing to a certain extent. But I think I need motivation as much as reflection, and a break won't motivate me - it will make me comfortable.
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Re: Change of career

Postby EastBrisHammer on Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:21 pm

I went through a bit of career crisis a few years ago and I looked at life coaching. I even did a bit of training. To be honest I didn't think much of it in the end. A lot of it is making a person discuss through their (self-generated) options without actually giving much direction. Also, like most self-employed jobs you have to work hard to get clients. I then thought about becoming a hydrologist and tried contacting some to shadow them for half a day just to see what they do on a day-to-day basis.

In the end I stayed in IT and I've made sure I stay in a position with good money but minimum stress. I realised that companies vary so much that one place can be so much better than another. I am a Software Manager but in a small company with an established product line so the pressure is off. Just the odd day where things get a bit bad.

Maybe you do not need a complete career change, just something similar in a better environment. Always ask to have a good look around a company when you go for an interview, even in offices that are not your potential department. You can quickly get a feel for a place.
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Re: Change of career

Postby RichieRiv on Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:57 pm

wizzo_66 wrote:This is easier said than done - although it's something I preach myself when supporting my wife, family and friends.....


It's very easy to dish out the medicine, not so easy to take it yourself. I can vouch for that!

There is nothing wrong with being diligent, conscientious and wanting to get the job done but I am pretty confident that you could take your foot off the gas by 10% and that job will still get done and you get that breathing space.

Yes easier said than done, but as a start try not to put so much pressure on yourself. A couple of ways you can achieve this. The first and by far the best anti depressant / anxiety drug is exercise. I'm not sure whether you do any now, but if you don't - get out and do some. The second is to gain some perspective. I find these ongoing 999 / ambulance / paramedic programmes are a great level setter. If I've had a bad day, I look at these guys and think to myself - maybe it wasn't that bad.

Mega Ron wrote:This may sound like poncey, modern advice but I'm going to give it away.

Do a bit of research and get yourself a life coach. They'll help you to make some good decisions and will help you to get where you want to be.


Speaking of career changes. This is currently my objective, one I pull my finger out my aras and work out how I am going to get there. Not just for the money, I do get an awful lot of safiscation helping people gain clarity.
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Re: Change of career

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:03 pm

EastBrisHammer wrote:I went through a bit of career crisis a few years ago and I looked at life coaching. I even did a bit of training. To be honest I didn't think much of it in the end. A lot of it is making a person discuss through their (self-generated) options without actually giving much direction.


A mate who worked in IT at my place of work did that and gave up his job to do it full time. I saw him a while after and said how was it going. He said he's given it up as what most of them needed was a good kick up the arse and to stop feeling sorry for themselves. He's back working in IT now and still hates it.
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Re: Change of career

Postby bubbles1966 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:09 pm

The administrative/bureaucratic part of the public sector is a generally grim place to work because it is so unresponsive and rigid in the way it functions. Anyone with a brain and an ounce of creativity will always end up as either frustrated, disillusioned, cynical or plain angry.

It happens elsewhere too, but if you have a fairly free and dynamic spirit - the public sector isn't the place to be.It's a place to dot i's and cross Ts.

If you're lucky you'll work in the very small part of it that encourages free thinking and innovation. Most of it is jobsworth territory though. "Here's the rules - fill in a form".
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Re: Change of career

Postby hammerdivone on Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:31 pm

Before anyone lumps out money on a 'life coach', consider asking someone you know, trust and respect (but not necessarily through work) to be your mentor.

They may not feel that they have the skills to do so, but I have done this many times over the years and find it both interesting and rewarding (mentoring that is). I have also had a mentor myself.

Sometimes it can be a coffee once a month where advice is sought on work related issues, sometimes it's a few beers to discuss career issues. Mentoring is really about helping and guiding people to make decisions and take courses of action they don't feel able to for whatever reason. It's about imparting impartial advice without being judgemental. It is also essential that what is discussed remains confidential.
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Re: Change of career

Postby RichieRiv on Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:32 pm

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote: mate who worked in IT at my place of work did that and gave up his job to do it full time. I saw him a while after and said how was it going. He said he's given it up as what most of them needed was a good kick up the arse and to stop feeling sorry for themselves. He's back working in IT now and still hates it.


I don't think you can dress it up any more than that. The reality is that most people have the answers they just haven't found them yet and a life coach simply teases them out. More often that not it's just replaying what the client has just told you in a different order.

The way I look at it, if someone wants to pay me to kick em up the April, then I am more than happy to oblige. However if there are people who need genuine help, assistance and advice, then I genuinely want to help regardless of the pound notes.
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Re: Change of career

Postby bubbles1966 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:57 pm

RichieRiv wrote: The reality is that most people have the answers they just haven't found them yet


...quite often they've found the answer but have neither the situation or confidence to implement it.

Sendo mentioned ££ earlier - always an impediment, but we're always just waiting for it to become less so. The fellas on here in the 20's haven't reached the freedom (thanks mainly to inflation, mortgage diminishing, kids growing up etc) that many in the 45-65 bracket have.
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Re: Change of career

Postby Hugh Jargon II on Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:17 pm

I've been career locked for about 10 years. I was too close to my pension to quit.
I try too hard. Worked many hours unpaid. My wife thinks I'm a bit nuts...but its probably a bit of PTSD and such like. I've been unhappy as work for as long as I can remember.

Weirdly in the last few months I have taken my foot off the gas. Not been too demanding on continued perfection. The only thing I concentrate on is my immediate teams health and welfare (and saving lives of course) The rest? Much more relaxed. I'm backing out of seminars, working from home quite a bit. Going to the gym.

Oddly....I'm not sure anyone will notice. Without being conceited I enjoy enormous respect from most of my lower ranking colleagues (not all!) and because my piers and superiors don't like that much I have to be on my toes.

But my advice is try easing off on the conscientious front and think of yourself a bit more. If someone requests you to do something/meet a deadline rather than half kill yourself try saying No. I haven't got the resources and if my best ain't gonna be good enough get someone else. Who knows? You might get to like your job again (or at least make it more bearable)
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Re: Change of career

Postby Hummer_I_mean_Hammer on Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:32 pm

Not trying to move the thread away from the OP's questions.

But in a similar vein, can anyone who is in recruitment (engineering/building services/Hard services) take a look at my CV and let me know why I seem to be consistently banging into a brick wall?
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Re: Change of career

Postby RichieRiv on Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:20 pm

Expand on what to mean by hitting a brick wall?
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Re: Change of career

Postby Mega Ron on Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:27 pm

Do you work in demolition Hummer?
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