Lies you've believed

Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.

Moderators: bristolhammerfc, sicknote, -DL-, Rio, Gnome, chalks, the pink palermo

Lies you've believed

Postby Monkeybubbles on Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:18 am

Let's exclude the Dildos, otherwise we'll be here all month.

I went out with a girl when I was about 16, her dad was from Jamaica. He told me that he was a member of Desmond Dekker's band, and met the girls mum when they were over promoting The Israelites. His was the deep voice doing the "ohhhhhh ohhhhhh me ears are alight" backing vocals. He showed me how to play the chords on guitar, and would sing along. Definitely him on the track.

Except it was recorded in '68 and she was born in 65.
User avatar
Monkeybubbles
 
Posts: 3745
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:00 pm
Location: Rumble, Brighton, Tonight.

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Tenbury on Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:46 am

Now if they were from Alabama........
Tenbury
 
Posts: 1403
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
Location: Too near Kidderminster

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby sicknote on Sat Jan 06, 2018 12:02 pm

“Trust me, this isn’t going to hurt!!!”
User avatar
sicknote
Plumbing the depths
 
Posts: 27650
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2002 10:34 pm
Location: looking out of my secret nuclear bunker

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby DasNutNock on Sat Jan 06, 2018 12:14 pm

That hard work, diligence and education was the path to career success. What a load of f*cking rubbish that turned out to be.
User avatar
DasNutNock
 
Posts: 5182
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:41 pm

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby prophet:marginal on Sat Jan 06, 2018 12:46 pm

DasNutNock wrote:That hard work, diligence and education was the path to career success. What a load of f*cking rubbish that turned out to be.


Personally think that it gets you halfway, mind, but the number of people I've met who got an opening because of who they (or their dad) knew means it surely isn't the be-all-and-end-all.
User avatar
prophet:marginal
 
Posts: 24884
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:54 pm
Location: (not) Opening A Crate Of Ale

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Hammer1972 on Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:03 pm

"Next level"
User avatar
Hammer1972
 
Posts: 3064
Joined: Wed May 10, 2006 8:18 am

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby WHU_Del on Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:20 pm

For years, my Dad told me that I'd been named after Derek Quinnell, the Welsh rugby union player, because of how well he played when Llanelli beat the All Blacks 9-3.
It was only when I was thirteen, when there were pieces on the news of the ten-year anniversary of the game, that I found out that the game had been played in 1972.
I was born in 1969.
User avatar
WHU_Del
 
Posts: 6321
Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:18 pm
Location: In the words of William Morris: 'I come not from Heaven, but from Essex'.

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby prophet:marginal on Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:25 pm

Hammer1972 wrote:"Next level"



Image
User avatar
prophet:marginal
 
Posts: 24884
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:54 pm
Location: (not) Opening A Crate Of Ale

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby sicknote on Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:26 pm

****ing will make you go blind
User avatar
sicknote
Plumbing the depths
 
Posts: 27650
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2002 10:34 pm
Location: looking out of my secret nuclear bunker

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby DasNutNock on Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:32 pm

prophet:marginal wrote:Personally think that it gets you halfway, mind, but the number of people I've met who got an opening because of who they (or their dad) knew means it surely isn't the be-all-and-end-all.


Self-confidence, popularity, and self-assurance, no matter how baseless, gets you further than qualifications, scruples and conscientiousness, as far as I can make out. Probably not in every line of work, I guess.
User avatar
DasNutNock
 
Posts: 5182
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2016 4:41 pm

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby the celestial insect on Sat Jan 06, 2018 2:07 pm

DasNutNock wrote:
Self-confidence, popularity, and self-assurance, no matter how baseless, gets you further than qualifications, scruples and conscientiousness, as far as I can make out. Probably not in every line of work, I guess.


Agree. That's been my experience. Last job, I always got on with things, acted with integrity, didn't engage in office politics, and assumed that someone would eventually notice that I was the one doing all the work. They only realised it the day after they put me on garden leave. Their resulting chaos wasn't much consolation for my 15 years of service.

As for other lies, 'you're very talented' was a big one. It took me a long time to realise I wasn't and to adjust to life among the plebs.
User avatar
the celestial insect
 
Posts: 4140
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 11:06 am
Location: on some faraway beach

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby sendô on Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:07 pm

Freedom of speech.

Equality.

Intelligence and hard work will lead to career success. More like the ability to take credit for other peoples work and portion out blame for your own fuckups.
User avatar
sendô
 
Posts: 24088
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:41 pm
Location: in the pessimistically optimistic camp.

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby southbrishammer on Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:36 pm

I believed in God until I was 15.
User avatar
southbrishammer
 
Posts: 2683
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:46 am
Location: South Bris

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby sendô on Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Father Christmas.
User avatar
sendô
 
Posts: 24088
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:41 pm
Location: in the pessimistically optimistic camp.

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby hammerdivone on Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:31 pm

Your Mum telling me she was clear of the clap
User avatar
hammerdivone
 
Posts: 21645
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2004 1:55 pm
Location: Somewhere between here and reality

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby woodgreenspur on Wed Jan 10, 2018 4:17 pm

Flying nuns
When i was about 3 my Nan went on Holiday to America to see her sister.
The whole family decamped to the Airport to see her off.We saw my nan through the check in,then went on the roof/viewing platform waiting for her plane to take off.
There were two nuns up there as well,and my Uncle told me to keep an eye on them as they were flying nuns and i would see them fly off.I lost interest,as kids do and looked away.When i looked back they were gone.my Uncle convinced me they had flown off and i had missed it.For a couple of years after that i still believed some nuns could fly.
woodgreenspur
 
Posts: 2764
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 6:29 pm
Location: Wood green, London

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby RichieRiv on Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:33 am

I love stories like that.

I remember my uncle telling me Kiwi fruit were poisonous. As a young lad I was very confused to why greengrocers and supermarkets sold something that would kill you.

My old man once told my sister not to lick yoghurt lids as old men sneek around supermarkets wiping bogeys on them. To this day (over 30 years later) she still won't touch a yoghurt.
User avatar
RichieRiv
 
Posts: 14754
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2002 3:35 pm
Location: http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby psychoscoredthelot on Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:35 am

my grandad told me that he got shot escaping from a prisoner of war camp in world war II

it wasnt until i had my jabs as a 14 year old that i realised this was the scar he had
User avatar
psychoscoredthelot
 
Posts: 6787
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:23 pm

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby orbital on Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:49 am

I've certainly told plenty, best lie I told that has been believed was when I was about 18 and was a vegetarian, I was having a discussion with a friends girlfriend who said if I believed 'Meat is Murder', than how come I was wearing leather shoes, to which I replied 'Kicker boots are only made from the leather of cows that have died of natural causes!' I laughed my ass off when I heard her repeating this fact to her friend's a couple of weeks later.

PS Now a fully fledged carnivore!
orbital
 
Posts: 1441
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:39 pm
Location: M25 J17

Re: Lies you've believed

Postby HalfTimePie on Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:50 am

When me and my siblings were kids my mum told us that the cheese on Pizza was 'stretchy butter' because she knew we wouldn't eat it if we knew it was cheese. I still think it in my head every time I see Pizza.
User avatar
HalfTimePie
 
Posts: 169
Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:39 am
Location: Essex

Next

Return to The Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Iron1994 and 9 guests