Lies you've believed

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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Hummer_I_mean_Hammer on Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:13 pm

That eating chocolate was good for you, as in "a mars a day helps you work, rest and play" and the many other ads aimed at unknowing youngsters.
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:51 pm

Hummer_I_mean_Hammer wrote:That eating chocolate was good for you, as in "a mars a day helps you work, rest and play" and the many other ads aimed at unknowing youngsters.


I worked with a fella who's dad was in marketing in the 1970s and he came up with that slogan. Apparently it made them a mint. The fella I worked with was a ****ing massive bellend and an Arsenal supporter too. Those two phenomenons appear to go hand in hand.
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby hammerdivone on Thu Jan 11, 2018 5:32 pm

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote:The fella I worked with was a ****ing massive bellend and an Arsenal supporter too. Those two phenomenons appear to go hand in hand.


My Cousin is an Arsenal supporter, he's nearly 65 now and lived with my Aunt and Uncle all his life, and now they're both dead still lives in the Council house he grew up in. Never Married, never had a girlfriend as far as I'm aware. He even used to work on the turnstiles at Highbury for a few years.

When they used to visit (as kids) and we played Subbuteo he used to make 'crowd' noises as he played.

Proof of what you just said if ever it was needed.
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Tenbury on Thu Jan 11, 2018 6:03 pm

hammerdivone wrote:
When they used to visit (as kids) and we played Subbuteo he used to make 'crowd' noises as he played.

.


Perhaps they should re-hire him.
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby DasNutNock on Thu Jan 11, 2018 6:33 pm

hammerdivone wrote:When they used to visit (as kids) and we played Subbuteo he used to make 'crowd' noises as he played.


<glances round nervously> Yeah, I mean what kind of c*nt does that, eh?
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby hammerdivone on Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:15 pm

No one is surprised Dan :D
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby westham,eggyandchips on Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:41 am

Someone I went to Infants, through to Secondary school with claimed his dad was a fighter pilot that flew a "Blackbird". Even the old man himself went along with it if I ever saw him.

Years later I questioned him about it at a school reunion and he denied ever saying such a thing. Lying ***** the lot of em!
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:17 am

hammerdivone wrote:
Greatest Cockney Rip OffThe fella I worked with was a ****ing massive bellend and an Arsenal supporter too. Those two phenomenons appear to go hand in hand.

My Cousin is an Arsenal supporter, he's nearly 65 now and lived with my Aunt and Uncle all his life, and now they're both dead still lives in the Council house he grew up in. Never Married, never had a girlfriend as far as I'm aware. He even used to work on the turnstiles at Highbury for a few years.

When they used to visit (as kids) and we played Subbuteo he used to make 'crowd' noises as he played.

Proof of what you just said if ever it was needed.


Oi! you two! I'm in the room! :shock:
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby hammerdivone on Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:27 am

We rest our case :D
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:35 am

hammerdivone wrote:We rest our case :D

I asked for that!
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby Greatest Cockney Rip Off on Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:58 am

hammerdivone wrote:My Cousin is an Arsenal supporter, he's nearly 65 now and lived with my Aunt and Uncle all his life, and now they're both dead still lives in the Council house he grew up in. Never Married, never had a girlfriend as far as I'm aware. He even used to work on the turnstiles at Highbury for a few years.

When they used to visit (as kids) and we played Subbuteo he used to make 'crowd' noises as he played.

Proof of what you just said if ever it was needed.


Bloody hell, that sounds remarkably like my ex's cousin! Not from Swindon is he?
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby hammerdivone on Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:18 pm

No GCRO, Harold Wood
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby ageing hammer on Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:36 pm

hammerdivone wrote:No GCRO, Harold Wood


Does he work for special branch :D
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby DasNutNock on Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:48 pm

Slight tangent, but this reminds me of the time me & some mates from school were sat in the pub, talking b*llocks (as you do), and someone piped up in reference to the old TV show "The Incredible Hulk". Said, with a completely straight face, that he'd recently discovered that the bloke playing The Hulk was actually a different actor from the one playing David Banner, and that it wasn't the same guy in makeup.

You can imagine the response he got. By the time the mocking finished, the entire pub had joined in.
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Re: Lies you've believed

Postby The Collector on Sun Jan 14, 2018 11:49 am

HalfTimePie wrote:When me and my siblings were kids my mum told us that the cheese on Pizza was 'stretchy butter' because she knew we wouldn't eat it if we knew it was cheese. I still think it in my head every time I see Pizza.


Oh, my! We did exactly the same thing with my daughter with toasted sandwiches when we were on holiday in Greece and she refused to eat anything except bread and butter.
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