Becoming a dad

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Becoming a dad

Postby JerseyHammer on Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:28 pm

....sometime next week if all goes to plan. I could have sworn there were a thread here for parenting? Can't seem to find it.

Equal parts s*****g it & excited. It's a boy.

So, dear KUMB members, what I have let myself in for??
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby pablo jaye on Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:33 pm

A rollercoaster ride through every emotion known to man!

Wonderful, frustrating, pride, happy, sad, anger, joy - the lot. Thoroughly rewarding though on many levels - mine are now 20 and 18 and they’re pleasant and sociable .... they even take their old man out for a pint!!!

Best of luck and enjoy everything, it goes quick!!
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Johnny Byrne's Boots on Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:38 pm

For the first few years all they really want is your time, don't begrudge it. They grow up super quickly and you can't go back so treat every minute you spend with him as precious, because it is.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby 'Appy 'Ammer on Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:39 pm

Congrats matey!!

This is the beginning of your life and also the end of it.

Prepare for no sleep, no money, no free time to yourself, work becomes a second priority, the Mrs is now Boss, holidays are on a holiday park in a caravan, your car has to have 5 doors, you will become an alcoholic, Ceeebies will be your TV of choice, this website will be your sanctuary.

The flip side is now you have a ready made organ donor in time of need for you.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Tue Oct 09, 2018 9:51 pm

Don't worry. It's easy enough. Thicker people than you have made a success of it before now.

Say goodbye to any semblance of a social life though.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby CMNinja on Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:21 pm

Congratulations. It is the most incredible thing. Right from birth you'll find that nothing stops - your kid will constantly amaze you by being able to do something this week that they couldn't do last week and it's always astounding.

When it comes to crying, remember that it's most likely one of three things: needing food, needing changing or needing burping.

I hope it all goes easily next week. You're now ****ed for life but in the best possible way.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Bend it like Repka on Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:23 pm

Get lots of sleep now, because it will soon be a distant memory.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby jevs on Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:40 am

Enjoy every waking moment mate as time will fly past. My daughter's 20 now with a little one of her own and I really miss when she was little.....silly things like taking her to the park, holidays, picking her up from school etc.

Good luck fella.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby prophet:marginal on Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:49 am

As blokes, I have read somewhere that there is something that happens to our brains, when we first see the face of our newborn kids; we are programmed, apparently, to recognise our own offspring. Both of mine were born by C-Section, but I have the strongest possible recall, nearly 20 years after the first, of the first sight I had of both of mine being born. It's a moment that has a hint of magic about it (even if the reality is that the feeling is just natural, really).

I would gladly swap a whole year of my future life, for just one day back with the kids when they were tiny. Sure, the long, sleepless, hours, when they're teething; the total change to social life and the nagging sense of worry that we all have, even if only at the very back of your mind.... they all play a part, but I actually envy you the opportunity of having the experience. I'm not saying I want any more children (mine are 19 and 16 now and its still a task to be their parent), but I genuinely believe that my children's first ten years were the best of my life - by a long chalk.

Don't over-stress or even over-think it. Relax as much as you possibly can. Enjoy it.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Tenbury on Wed Oct 10, 2018 6:18 am

Many congrats!
Enjoy every second.Your going to learn so much about yourself......you'll be astounded.

Presumably you've already bought him his first full kit.

Seriously, I never understood when people said their kids were their whole life, well my (now) 12 year old changed all that.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby chelmsfordhammer91 on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:26 am

Congratulations and try to enjoy every minute.

I started a thread for new parenting advice when my wife was pregnant...my daughter is now 16 months old. It just flies by although the first few months can be difficult.

Try and give your child and partner as much time as you can allow, you won't regret it. But yes, you will lose most of your social life for a while although it gets easier as time goes on.

Good luck and all the best!
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby the pink palermo on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:29 am

You know how you get slightly annoyed when you come home and find your missus has left every light in the house on, and the heating's on full blast with the windows wide open.......

Well the money wasted by her will be nothing compared with what Cost Centre No.1 is going to cost you over the next 25 years.

Keep a ledger from day 1, record every penny in detail, which will save you money in the long run as you sure as **** won't have a second one when you see how much they cost.

They won't remember your birthday unless their mother reminds them, but if you dare to forget their's .....there will be hell to pay.


You can look forward to them coming home pissed at 14 and telling you to **** off because they're an adult, and their music, if you can call it that, will always be on too loud. They'll laugh out aloud at your Duran Duran CD's, which goes to show what they know.

You won't be able to help with their homework because firstly you won't understand it and secondly because you will be working two jobs to pay for their school trips and mobile phone, but, hey, you always wanted to pull pints for minimum wage on a Tuesday night after a 12 hour day .

Enjoy a night out with your friends before the happy day, and stick a note in all of your diaries to meet again in 18 years time, because believe me none of your mates want to listen to how he is doing and how you saw him take his first steps .....and how "she" missed it ha ha ha......, seriously tyou won't see them for dust.

Above all focus on the poverty they bring to you, it will be 30 years before you buy your next suit. Count yourself lucky that double breasted ones aren't currently in fashion as your friends will laugh when you turn up at their weddings for 9 years running in the same one.

Having said all of that, congratulations.

.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Estuary on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:44 am

Johnny Byrne's Boots wrote:For the first few years all they really want is your time, don't begrudge it. They grow up super quickly and you can't go back so treat every minute you spend with him as precious, because it is.

This is pretty much bang on. Mine are all late twenties now and have left home, at the moment you are waiting and wondering, but the time between your now and your then will go past almost imperceptibly and you will find your self with three (I have three) grown up’s where children once were, the kids will be replaced by a lifetimes memories, all in the blink of an eye.
One of the two big unanswered questions is about to reveal itself for you, and nothing you have ever experienced will compare.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby (Dazza) on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:55 am

Can only echo what others have said above about the early days. Out little boy is 6 weeks old today and I'm in a permanent state of tiredness.

It's very frustrating at times when you can't work out what's wrong with them but that all goes out of the window when they do the simplest of things like hold your finger, or just hold your stare. It's a feeling I can't describe.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby btajim - mcfc on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:56 am

Are there some anonymous people on here? Every other lad I know had zero relationship with their own fathers. i.e. Know ten and five largely disowned them by teenage years.

No thoughts towards her growing closer to the child(ren) than the man and eventually ****ing him off? Has happened to far too many people I grew up with. They then fight for any access for the best part of two years. It changes a woman beyond comprehension.

My mum didn't know her dad. My dad didn't know his dad. My sister and her husband are divorced now.

Congratulations nevertheless.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby DasNutNock on Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:44 am

Parenthood is great, the best. You’ll never struggle to find motivation to do the stuff you’d really rather not.

PP hasn’t changed the hilarious “cost centre” nonsense he’s been spouting for years. Kids really aren’t that expensive, unless you raise them to be greedy, entitled, little sh*ts. He’s right about your social life taking a beating, though, but TBH, getting trollied every night as an adult isn’t really the path to enlightenment.

As for Jim’s comments, that is always a possibility. But I don’t know many divorced men who, when push comes to shove, wouldn’t acknowledge that they knew they were making a mistake when they married her in the first place.

Anyway, ignore the negatives and focus on the good stuff. Congratulations to you all, keep us updated with progress :thup:
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Bend it like Repka on Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:27 am

DasNutNock wrote:Parenthood is great, the best. You’ll never struggle to find motivation to do the stuff you’d really rather not.



Bang on. The amount of times I would have sat on my arse watching crap TV, but instead parental "guilt" to get them out the house and be active has made me do stuff. And you know what, I've loved it all. Swimming, rock climbing on the beach, teaching them tennis, the list of stuff I've done is endless.

I bust both my knees 20 years ago. No more football, no more competitive sport. It was a big hole to be honest, I missed it.

My eldest got into cricket, I coached her, we joined a club, I became a manager when the previous one stepped down. No only did I love that, but while coaching them I was bowling and batting again, something I had not done for 34 years since school ended. I got asked to play for the 4th XI and played 6 matches this year.

The only reason I'm back playing competitive sport, and loving it, is because I have children. I just never would have done it.

The most simple rule of parenthood, the more you put in the more you get back.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:29 am

You'll never have a dull moment with kids in the house. Mine are, quite frankly, hilarious.

The reality is, yes they aren't cheap, but you don't need to be spending fortunes buying them top clobber and taking them for expensive days out. At least when they're young, all they really want to do is spend time with you, and taking them to the park for an hour costs nothing.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Dave Hedgehog on Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:37 pm

My friend at work had his first last week. He said the birth was like "watching your favourite pub burn down with a human head popping out of a window and screaming at you".
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Kludgehammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:24 pm

the pink palermo wrote:They'll laugh out aloud at your Duran Duran CD's


So kids aren't completely bad then?
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