Becoming a dad

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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Turns to Stone on Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:36 pm

Our boy turned 1 last week. It's been a rollercoaster. What I would say is, that whilst it's the absolute best thing that has ever happened to you, you will soon realise that you are panicking about everything.

Every cough, every bump on his head, whether he's sleeping too much, not enough, why can't you get him to burp? When did you last give him calpol? Why won't he shut up? Why has he shut up? etc

We've only had one trip to A and E thankfully, but it was the longest night of my life waiting to find out what was wrong with him and why his breathing was bad etc.

It's wonderful, it's amazing, it's fun, you're new best little mate is about to be born and all I can say is enjoy it. And do as much as you can with him as it disappears in a flash. Yesterday, ours took his first steps on his own and he's already become a little boy in what seems like 5 minutes flat!

The only advice I would give, is take him out on your own as soon as you feel comfortable. It's good for his Mum, it's good for the two of you and the longer you leave it the more worried you can sometimes get about it.

Massive, massive congratulations.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Crouchend_Hammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:57 pm

My daughter is just over 2 now, and the last couple of months, as she has really started to talk a lot and take on a personality of her own, have been fantastic

Of course, i enjoyed the first 18 months, but they are nothing compared to the last couple of months. The staggering pace of mental development at this age is truly mind-blowing

I am luckier than most as I my daughter has two sets of very willing grandparents reasonably close so me and my wife have always been able to maintain a social life, plus we found an amazing nanny who looked after my daughter for two days every week after my wife went back to work - not only did she provide stability and lots of love, but she was great at developmental stuff

I was never in to the NCT 'meet-up' stuff post birth, but my wife found it very useful and is still in regular touch with some of our group. Plus, for all its many faults, Forest gate is very good for mums networks, wats app groups and baby/ toddler classes etc etc. I would encourage your partner to get involved in as much as that as possible
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:10 pm

Turns to Stone wrote:What I would say is, that whilst it's the absolute best thing that has ever happened to you, you will soon realise that you are panicking about everything.

Yeah only for the first one. Once you get to your third you worry a lot less.

The first one was worrying at every bump and scrape. My third is 9 months, if he falls over I leave him to pick himself up now so long as he hasn't banged his head.

It might seem cruel but the reality is he's tough as old boots and the other day bulldozed over the 2 year old who was in his way/playing with the toy he wants.

The joys of having 3 boys.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby essexguy on Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:11 pm

First 6 months are really really hard.But after that its been mostly a piece of cake for us.

Our boy is 11 months and sleeps from 7:30pm to 6:30am.

The worst time will be when they are sick because you usually are sick at the same time. 2 weeks ago all 3 of us came down with the norovirus which was utter hell. Actually it was worse than hell. When its coming out of both ends and all you want to do is crawl up on the bathroom floor but you have a little one screaming their head off also very sick.

And now, he has just come down with Bronchiolitis which I also have. Gone are the days where you can just stay in bed and recover by watching Netflix all day.

The other adjustment is just accepting that you will no longer have as much time to yourself. I used to love spending weekends with the missus watching films all day or playing playstation / pc for hours while she was watching one of her rubbish series. Your time is no longer your own.

We do have our evenings which is much luckier than most because he is such a good sleeper. But by 10pm I'm knackered so I've usually fallen asleep!
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Turns to Stone on Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:25 pm

sendô wrote:Yeah only for the first one. Once you get to your third you worry a lot less.

The first one was worrying at every bump and scrape. My third is 9 months, if he falls over I leave him to pick himself up now so long as he hasn't banged his head.

It might seem cruel but the reality is he's tough as old boots and the other day bulldozed over the 2 year old who was in his way/playing with the toy he wants.

The joys of having 3 boys.


I can totally believe that, Sendo. I already am far more relaxed than I used to be. The first 3 months were hell though. I remember that the first time he slept through the night without waking us up, I just woke up and assumed he must be dead! It was torturous at times...but amazing all the same.

3 though! I don't know how you do it, mate!
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby only1post on Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:31 pm

I didn't become a dad more an unpaid taxi driver.
However throughout your life you will have moments that mean as much to you as a last minute winner against Spurs.
Congrats
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Tenbury on Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:21 pm

You'll have loads of great moments (_ and a few cra p ones), but the first game you take him to is simply as good as it gets. [Mind you , it helps if we win!].
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:03 pm

Turns to Stone wrote:The first 3 months were hell though. I remember that the first time he slept through the night without waking us up, I just woke up and assumed he must be dead!

I distinctly remember the night we brought the first one home. We had absolutely no idea what to do. We fed him, changed him, and then stuck him in his cot and could not work out why he was bawling his eyes out and wouldn't just go to sleep. :lol:

Turns to Stone wrote:3 though! I don't know how you do it, mate!

Actual footage of me parenting:

Image
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby JuniorBilly on Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:38 pm

My little girl is coming up to 5 months, so another new dad here.

Its going so fast already, been a struggle but easily the best 5 months of my life. My only advise is to that everyone else will have a different view or way of doing things and parenting, but do what works for you and feels right. You know best when it comes to your own and a lot of is just natural.

Congratulations and enjoy it.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Johnny Byrne's Boots on Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:06 pm

One thing that will never cease to amaze is how something so small can produce so much ***** and puke. You'll change the nappy containing one you'd be proud of and an hour later there's another one even bigger. How? Just how? There physically isn't enough room inside them and yet it keeps coming. I'm convinced there's a fourth dimension going on here, manifesting itself as nappies full beyond belief.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby ereford ammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:19 pm

I am the dad of four, all flown the nest and I have regular contact with them but still miss them like mad. Parenting always has highs and lows but cherish every minute.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby last.caress on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:28 pm

JerseyHammer wrote:It's a boy.

So, dear KUMB members, what I have let myself in for??


The greatest experience you'll ever have, or ever want. It's hard, and you'll **** parts of it up (that's okay though) but it's a great honour. In four or five years' time when he's looking up at you like you're the greatest superhero in the universe, you'll feel as though that's exactly what you are. :thup:

Of course, when he's fourteen and he's looking at you like you're the most uncool bellend on the planet you'll have to resist the urge to fling your gin and orange at him, but I reckon we'll put a pin in that for a decade or so yet. :) For now, enjoy!

Congratulations, man. :kumb:
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Cuenca 'ammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:31 pm

last.caress wrote:
The greatest experience you'll ever have, or ever want. It's hard, and you'll **** parts of it up (that's okay though) but it's a great honour. In four or five years' time when he's looking up at you like you're the greatest superhero in the universe, you'll feel as though that's exactly what you are. :thup:

Of course, when he's fourteen and he's looking at you like you're the most uncool bellend on the planet you'll have to resist the urge to fling your gin and orange at him, but I reckon we'll put a pin in that for a decade or so yet. :) For now, enjoy!

Congratulations, man.


I am not having that....no one, but no one drinks gin and orange any more...

:D

congrats to all on here.....it's not for me though,,,,,,
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby WCpete on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:12 pm

I'll give you 1 practical piece of advice since all of the philosophical and existential touchstones have been mentioned for the most part.

While they're infants, stay away from onesie sleepwear, especially any that has buttons or too many snaps. Go for 2 piece (a top and a bottom) sleepwear or if you must use a one piece, one with just a few snaps.

You're going to be sleep deprived for a while, so when the baby is asleep you want them to stay asleep. If you have to do a diaper change while they're asleep, you need to do it fast to ensure they stay asleep. Take too long, and we're talking by seconds, and the wee'un might stay awake. Grumping. And you lose what little precious rest time you have. A 2 piece allows you to whip off the leggings, make the change, and whip the leggings back on in an instant. It's like a pit stop in F1 racing. Take too long and you're screwed.

Have fun. And tell your kidless friends goodbye. You won't be seeing much after you settle in.

And a whole hearted congratulations! I love being a Dad more than anything else. Nothing else even registers on the scale.
Last edited by WCpete on Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Cuenca 'ammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:17 pm

Robin Williams did a sketch one time..brilliant it was..among loads of stuff about being a parent for the first time.......

"you change a diaper and there's green stuff man...and you think..oh my God, it's an alien..."

"Friends come to you house, walk in, sniff, and say 'You got a kid, huh ?' .."


:D
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Rocketron on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:23 pm

WCpete wrote:I'll give you 1 practical piece of advice since all of the philosophical and existential touchstones have been mentioned for the most part.

While they're infants, stay away from onesie sleepwear, especially any that has buttons or too many snaps. Go for 2 piece (a top and a bottom) sleepwear or is you must use a one piece, one with just a few snaps.

You're going to be sleep deprived for a while, so when the baby is asleep you want them to stay asleep. If you have to do a diaper change while they're asleep, you need to do it fast to ensure they stay asleep. Take too long, and we're talking by seconds, and the wee'un might stay awake. Grumping. And you lose what little precious rest time you have. A 2 piece allows you to whip off the leggings, make the change, and whip the leggings back on in an instant. It's like a pit stop in F1 racing. Take too long and you're screwed.

Have fun. And tell your kidless friends goodbye. You won't be seeing much after you settle in.

And a whole hearted congratulations! I love being a Dad more than anything else. Nothing else even registers on the scale.

Top tip,Pete :thup:
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Burningaham on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:32 pm

Get a nappy bin you can operate with one hand. Good luck.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby DasNutNock on Wed Oct 10, 2018 8:57 pm

Aldi nappies and wipes are far better than the brand name ones.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby JerseyHammer on Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:17 pm

Thanks everyone - really - read and re-read all posts. Some great advice, tips & truths.

Can't wait now, just want him to come out nice and healthy. I'm going to work each morning and can't think about anything else.

I'll keep you posted, as should everyone else who's new to this parenting lark.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:40 pm

Johnny Byrne's Boots wrote:For the first few years all they really want is your time, don't begrudge it. They grow up super quickly and you can't go back so treat every minute you spend with him as precious, because it is.


This , and love them as much as you can -

You'll be fine .
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