Becoming a dad

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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:00 am

Ok , this isn't meant to frighten you , it was just something that happened to us and if my sister's boyfriend at the time hadn't been there I'm not sure we'd have known what to do - Becky , our daughter was just weeks old when she went all still , the boyfriend took her and just turned her upside down and whatever it was that was causing the problem ceased to be a problem , she began breathing as normal again and everything was fine , I'll be forever grateful . Hopefully you won't need that little bit of advice but I'd have been grateful of it all those years ago .

Also , she was a bugger to get to sleep , we'd have to take her out in the car until she nodded off , then carry her in quick before she woke up again , another thing I had to do to get her to sleep was push her around the streets of Potters Bar singing to her , it was gone midnight some nights - I loved it though .

Children cement a Marriage or a Partnership , brings you even closer together .

I've had many friends over the years , lots and lots but nowadays all I want is the company of my Family , Family is everything .
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Monkeybubbles on Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:22 am

A couple of times my boys wanted to play, and I didn't want to play, so I didn't play. It was the worst 5hing I've ever done, still full of regret. Always play, no matter how pooped you are.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby DasNutNock on Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:32 am

Monkeybubbles wrote:A couple of times my boys wanted to play, and I didn't want to play, so I didn't play. It was the worst 5hing I've ever done, still full of regret. Always play, no matter how pooped you are.


Agreed, disappointing your kids is about as low a feeling as you’ll ever experience.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby CentenaryUpperHammer on Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:58 am

Our son has just gone 8 months old & despite the tiredness, worry & stress - I wouldn't change it for the world.

The first few weeks were tough - especially on the missus who, now looking back, probably had a touch of post natal. I definitely echo the thoughts about trying to get out the house, even if it's just a little trip to the local shop. We started with a walk to the co-op, then the high street etc.

Touch wood, he has worked himself into a pretty good routine & is usually asleep around 9pm until 6.30ish. Both of us are back to work now which means driving him to the SIL's for her to look after him. This has been the toughest thing. Leaving him at 7am & not seeing him again until 7pm. The weekends are an absolute god send & we spoil him rotten.

Don't forget - no one has a clue what they are doing so don't feel stupid to ask questions or if you do something wrong. It's a learning curve.

Wish you all the best.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby DM on Thu Oct 11, 2018 1:55 pm

Burningaham wrote:Get a nappy bin you can operate with one hand. Good luck.


Learn how do everything with one hand! And enjoy every second of it, even if it is 4.00am in the morning!
Congratulations.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Thu Oct 11, 2018 5:44 pm

Meh, re the onesie sleepsuits, you soon get used to whipping them off, have new nappy under as old nappy goes whilst other hand simultaneously holds up the legs and wipes the *****, then it's just a few poppers back on rather than dragging bottoms over them.

You soon get used to changing fast and carefully and not waking them.

Top tip - put a baby wipe over his willy.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Rocketron on Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:37 pm

Monkeybubbles wrote:A couple of times my boys wanted to play, and I didn't want to play, so I didn't play. It was the worst 5hing I've ever done, still full of regret. Always play, no matter how pooped you are.

DasNutNock wrote:Agreed, disappointing your kids is about as low a feeling as you’ll ever experience.

However, you are making them aware that "I want it and I want it now" doesn't always work.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Johnny Byrne's Boots on Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:58 pm

^^^^ The reality is more like "I don't know what I want but I want it now"
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby JerseyHammer on Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:33 pm

Cheers all! Tips are being noted down, especially the wet wipe over willy which I'm sure will save me (and the walls) a shower or two.

I go away for around 2-3 months (June, July, August) when my bosses arrive to use their boat (how dare they!). My job requires me very often to wake up when an alarm goes off (once a night at least) when we're away during the season / go fix problem / wake up again at 7am / work until midnight - so right now I feel like I'll be going into this but 24/7
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby ChzMff on Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:22 am

Our little boy is just over 2 weeks old and the most difficult thing for me is something we play no part in: breastfeeding. We were given very little info beforehand and then after the birth they simply want to ensure he was fed rather than arm you with the tools to feed successfully in the big wide world. It’s been a real struggle and utterly demoralising at times because there’s nothing I can do bar provide verbal support to my wife.

Everything people say about sleepless nights has been true. We are trying to get better at sleeping when he does during the day. As somebody said, accept the fact you will no longer have continuous sleep and it will be a lot easier.

Before the birth I was adamant of buying the least possible. Babies to me were like weddings, pulling on the heart strings meaning people buy any old *****. Since he was born, I’ve changed my tune and will buy anything that makes our lives easier or gives us more rest.

I would be lying if I said every day was easy but I’ve tried to break things down into small victories (we all showered yesterday and got round a shopping centre!). You’ll find you could just sit there and watch him for hours. They literally change every day.

Lastly, just do everything you can to support your partner. My respect for women has shot through the roof. Their bodies are incredible. It’s cruel that after the torture of labour they are then immediately thrust into looking after this precious life while absolutely exhausted. Do everything you can, bite your lip as her hormones go all over the place and show her more love than you ever have as she needs it.

I’m back to work on Monday and dreading leaving my little family.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby ChzMff on Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:25 am

Oh, and wet wipe over willy! Nice that somebody told you that before being peed in the face! :D
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby only1post on Sat Oct 13, 2018 11:05 am

Forget the wet wipe. Your shock and discomfort of being peed on will be rewarded with a smile and fit of giggles from your boy that will warm your heart.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby DasNutNock on Sun Oct 14, 2018 3:54 pm

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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby JerseyHammer on Sat Oct 27, 2018 4:38 pm

On 17th October at about 7am, he popped out of his mother. I was there to witness the whole lot, total bloodbath but mother and baby were fine. I nearly passed out when having a blood exam earlier this year so was somewhat nervous about how I'd deal with watching a human being slide out between my wife's legs but in the end, adrenalin took over and it didn't bother me in the slightest. It was also my birthday, so I'm unlikely to get a present like that ever again!

She had an induced labour which didn't work to begin with, but then eventually around 11pm it all kicked off, bigtime. Contractions at 2 min intervals from midnight until 3 then down to 1 min from 3 onwards until (after she puked up for the 3rd time) they gave her an epidural.

Well, 10 days in and it's been fantastic, if not a little tiring. Total change of lifestyle though nothing more than I was expecting. He sleeps from midnight until around 6am at the moment so we usually can get around 5 hrs, plus a couple of 30 min naps during the day whilst he's sleeping.

Without meaning to get too deep or sound like something that should be said with a joint in hand, life in general seems to make a lot more "sense" now - I was always a very laid back person (too much so really) - this has bucked me up a little.

:scarfer:
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby JerseyHammer on Sat Oct 27, 2018 4:41 pm

ChzMff wrote:Our little boy is just over 2 weeks old and the most difficult thing for me is something we play no part in: breastfeeding. .....


Didn't fully take note of your post ChzMff - literally word for word what I feel like now too. The breastfeeding part seems to be improving, she's turned into a dairy and on the breast pump, 120ml in 20 mins which is great as I can take car of feeding him whilst she sleeps or whatever.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Sat Oct 27, 2018 4:43 pm

JerseyHammer wrote:He sleeps from midnight until around 6am at the moment so we usually can get around 5 hrs, plus a couple of 30 min naps during the day whilst he's sleeping.

Bugger me, youdon't know how lucky you are. Pray that sleep pattern continues, my youngest is 10 months and still wakes up a couple of times a night. In fact none of them slept through before about 15 months.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby mumbles87 on Sun Oct 28, 2018 1:56 pm

Congrates.. best feeling in the world

Our little one is almost a year and a half now , love every moment with her. Crazy women lol

Enjoy every little minute

On the sleep side it’s litterally blind luck

I know guys with kids who still don’t sleep through at 3 years

Our little lady sleeps from 7-6 so 11 hours a night and has done since 7 months ish
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby ChzMff on Sat Nov 03, 2018 5:48 am

Congratulations to you JerseyHammer. Wishing you and your new family all of the very best.

I type this message with my son lying on my chest having given him a formula feed. We’ve decided that the breastfeeding was just to exhausting for my wife so I now give him a few ounces when he wakes between 1am - 3am and then stay with him until he next wants feeding. It’s worked out well so far.

We hired a lactation consultant to help with the breastfeeding. Since then it’s really picked up. My wife is no longer in extreme pain (she used to cry whilst feeding him such was the discomfort :cry: ), less clicking when he’s feeding and he’s becoming more efficient.
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby Crouchend_Hammer on Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:19 am

My wife is still breast feeding my daughter who is 26 months. Only once a day before bed but it is a source of constant arguments as I have wanted her to knock it on the head for ages. Daughter doesn't need it now as she often goes two or three days without itno problem, and if my wife is not about she doesn't mention it, but my wife can't seem to break the habit
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Re: Becoming a dad

Postby sendô on Sat Nov 03, 2018 1:41 pm

Image

Mate, you need to get her to knock that on the head. I made mine stop with our eldest when he reached one and could have cows milk. When the kid is old enough to walk and talk and ask for it, it starts getting a bit strange.

I've got one who co-incidentally is 26 months too. I can't imagine him breast feeding now, he stopped at 8 months.
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